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You Live Until You Die


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Elowen Jocosta

           Elowen was addicted to heroin before she had even had her first taste of milk from her mother’s breasts. Both of her parents were addicts and she came from the womb destined to follow in their path. It was a miracle that there was anyone sober enough to call an ambulance when her mother gave birth to her on the bathroom floor of a drug house that desperately needed condemned. Elowen was born amongst the sick and shook for days after her birth. She was kept away from her parents and was nursed out of her withdrawal by nurses that were disgusted at the state of her life that had barely just begun.

                The infant was nameless, up until the day she was abandoned by her parents who felt the need to chase their next high was more important than bringing home their newborn baby from the hospital. Upon abandonment Elowen was bestowed a name by one of the night nurses that had cared for her. When Elowen had gained the strength to be adopted, no one wanted her. The fear that her parents and their drug abuse would cause endless problems, scared off prospective parents.  Elowen Jocasta ended up in the foster care system, jumping from family to family until she was deemed unadoptable and sent to a girls group home to live in.

                Through the extent of her youth she struggled with the same demons as her parents had. She craved the euphoric drug that had been bred into her blood whilst still connected to her mother in the womb. She abused drugs and became the delinquent she was destined to be. When you start in the world at a disadvantage it’s nearly impossible to gain any privileges. Elowen was a disaster, unruly, unpredictable, and unwilling to give up her pursuit for the next high as her parents had been before her.

                The system tried to put her into rehab, but she had aged out before she could completed the program. Hell, even if she had completed her program she would have fallen back into the same rhythm, heroine was her only savior in a world full of despair. When Elowen turned 18 she was booted out the door and no longer had the government to guide her.  So she did the only thing she knew how to do, she stole and sold everything she could get her hands on to afford the drugs her body was dependent upon.

                When there was nothing left to steal, she sold her body to the highest bidder. She was a ghost of a human being, her eyes were swirling clouds of nothingness, her heart had never known love, and her body was simply the vessel that feed heroine to her brain. When she was 18 she looked closer 28. She was going to die on the streets an addict with nothing to give the world, and she was content in that notion.

                You live until you die.

 That was the only motto that Miss Jocosta had ever known in her life on this earth.

                At the age of 24 she was approached in a drug hazed stupor by a women, who offered her a place to stay, daily meals and money for her pocket. She was promised $20,000 dollars for her contribution to some study the woman was running. Of course Elowen would have to go through a full detox and purge her body of the drugs she was so dependent upon. Elowen, however, agreed because the money was too good to pass on and getting clean for 20 grand seemed like a doable thing at the time.

                Had Elowen not been a drug induced human being she could have thought about how sketchy the situation seemed and how much of a scam it could have been, but Elowen wasn’t sober so she had reached out the women, took her hand and followed her into the Mercedes that was parked on the side of the road waiting to take them away.   

                “Now my darling, this is going to be a long process as I mentioned. The first phase will be to get you clean and then we can proceed with the study. I can guarantee that it will be worth your while and when we are satisfied with the results we will release you with a check for the agreed upon amount. When we get to the facility we will need to check you in, get a signature of consent and remove all personal items. Unfortunately, you will not be able to contact anyone from outside of our facility because the study you will be participating in is highly classified, so, I suggest contacting anyone that needs to know your whereabouts at this time.”  The woman rattled off the list of things to come all the while scrolling through the screen of her phone, her eyes focused on words that were a completely foreign language to Elowen.

                “Miss Jocosta, do you need to make a phone call?” The woman prodded disinterested.

June 20, 2019 01:02 pm

Elowen Jocosta

Elowen didn’t call anyone that day.

The only person’s number she knew by heart was her dealer and he only cared about her when she was giving him business.  

Elowen wished that she could feel depressed from this notion, that her life was ticking clock with no one to care for her. However, you can’t feel sorry or miss something that you never had. The only thing constant up to this point in the young girls life was her addiction, it was the only thing she had come to rely on.  What Elowen didn’t know at the time was that this single action would be the cause of her death and uprising. She was naïve to the circumstances she was being kidnapped under but her mind was so fogged with the waning effects of chemicals that she couldn’t bother herself to care about what was going on.

She should have cared.

She should have been worried about her possible demise.

All she cared about was the money that would line her pockets.

Elowen could buy the best of the lot with 20,000.

The Mercedes, sleek and shiny drove the winding paths with ease until pulling up to a massive gate surrounding a forest hidden building. Elowen wished she had taken more notice of the building or her surroundings but once again her dependency for heroine clouded her judgment. Her body was already starting to itch for its next dose, and the thought that she wouldn’t get it was more concerning to her than the concrete building straight ahead.

The chauffer conferred with the gate attendant before he was waved through and the small group were on their way towards Elowen’s new prison. Just as the strange woman had promised Elowen was stripped of all her personal belongings, including the clothing she wore on her back, she wasn’t sure how the clothing would affect their study but she proceeded in putting on the freshly pressed hospital pants and red t-shirt. Red seemed to be such a bold color in such a crisp and clean looking facility, but frankly Elowen didn’t care what she wore.

They then led her to a room that held a single bed, a desk with a notebook and pen, and a bookcase with no books.

                “This is where you’ll be staying until we’ve cleared you for the next stages of this process, if we so chose for you to continue. Please make yourself comfortable. If you have any questions or are in need of anything please press the button here.” The woman pointed at a white button next the wall before giving Elowen a once over.

                “Please don’t hesitate. I know these next few days will be rough.” With that everyone cleared the room and Elowen collapsed onto the bed and fell into a deep slumber, not at all thinking about the bizarre circumstances of the unfolding events.

June 27, 2019 04:11 pm

Elowen Jocosta

“If you don’t let me out of this god blessed room I’m going to fecking rip your head off your neck!” Elowen pounded her first against the door, her knuckles bloodied and bruised from the last two hours of pounding. Now, I wish I could say Elowen’s incessant pounding was because the facility had done something drastic to her but she was in the height of her withdrawal. She was angry and craving the precious needle to stick her veins and give her sweet relief.

It had been at least a week since Elowen was brought in, the first night had been a simple irritation but by the third night she was in full blow withdrawal. Sick and shaking and wanting the drugs so much she begged to leave and promised to forget about the money they offered. They never heeded her pleas though, in fact, they never even interacted with her unless they were bringing her a tray of gray mush for dinner. She refused to eat and her slim figure sunk in even further. The bags under her eyes were dark and heavy and her veins were pounding against her skin.

“Please!” Another fist fell upon the door though its force wasn’t as forthcoming. Defeat was swelling inside of her chest as she let herself slide to the floor, her back pressing into the heaviness of the door that kept her prisoner. Elowen shook as her neurons cried out for their euphoria that would not come. Why had Elowen let herself be bested by the greed and gluttony gods that had kept her head to the ground all her life? She could have been more than this life had she been given the privilege.

That’s the thing, though, life never handed anything easily to Elowen and things weren’t going to start changing now, not even when or if she would ever be given the money she had been promised before she was taken prisoner.

“Fecking ding bat basturds!” Her flat palm blasted into the cool ground beneath her once before she let her body succumb to the aches and chills of ridding her body of the toxins it was so dependent upon.

This continued for three more days before Elowen was finally freed from her chambers. She had screamed and cussed and cried the entire time until one day she woke up and her body felt exhausted, but did not reek of pain. Elowen had gotten clean before when she was a teenager, it had been hell then, and relapse was a heIl, but there was always a small amount of time where she saw the light of what her life could be like if she stayed sober.

On that day in which she had woken up and felt that first burst of hope she was visited by a man she had never seen before, he wore a lab coat and his hair was speckled with gray and white. His beer gut jutted slightly from the strained buttons on his coat and his large mustache looked like it tickled his nostrils as he spoke.

“Miss Joscosta, I am Dr. Harkmon. I know that it has been a rough few weeks for you but we believe that you are ready for the next steps of this program.” His brown eyes peered at her from below bushy gray brows, her fingers tapping against his metal clipboard.

“Is this some kind of Drug user rehab? Did my sponser set this up?” Elowen ran thin bony fingers through her tangled locks of hair as she waited for an explanation.

“Miss Elowen, I was under the impression that you volunteered. Is that not true?”

“Well, I mean I guess I did but how did you find me? Why me?” She rose to her feet, her mind finally clear for the first time in years.

                “It’s time for the next steps of the program now. Please follow me.” Dr. Harkmon retreated from the room and allowed his lackeys to enter and guide Elowen away.

The feck kind of place was this and why the hell did Dr. Harkmon just blow her off? There was something off about that man.

June 28, 2019 05:21 pm

Elowen Jocosta

Elowen didn’t thrash or scream or drag her feet along the linoleum flooring, she walked willingly behind the doctor. The two men on either side of her each had a firm hand wrapped around her arm. No matter the questions she tried to ask she was gifted with no response, so she finally decided to keep her lips tightly pressed together. There was a tinge of guilt in her gut and but the stronger feeling consuming her was shame. Shameful in herself for letting herself get trapped into something that was far above her head. She had been greedy and high and the idea that she was now in some strange facility irked her. Elowen mentally scorned herself and promised that once they let her out of this place she’d take her money, stay clean and start over.

It was a promise she made every time she got clean.

This time she could do it.

This time was it.

This time she’d stay away from old habits and old friends.

Never trust an addicts promises after withdrawal, because you’ll only end up disappointed.

“This way Miss Jocosta. Please have a sweat.” The Doctor looked over his shoulder at her with a wide smile as he ushered into a small cubicle and pointed towards the chair for her relax in. It was like one of those lounge chairs that you often see at a dentist office, long enough for her body to sit in and leaned forward and back with the push of a button.

Elowen slowly made her way over and wiggled into the chair looking around the room and absorbing the blank canvas around her. The walls were white, there were no windows and no pictures to occupy the space. The carpet beneath their feet was just a rug haphazardly strewn across a slab of dark gray concrete. The only indication that this room was used for medical things was due to the silver tray standing next to the place where Elowen sat.

On the metal sheet there was a syringe fill with a dark liquid and a few other miscellaneous tools.

“Elowen, you’ve been selected for an incredibly important scientific study.” It was the first lie they told to her that day and it would be the first of so many things that Elowen would later need to question.

“What is the study?” Elowen quipped back as her hands pressed into the cracking leather of the chair beneath her.

“It’s about accessing the mind.” The doctor simply stated before he stepped forward and began to examine Elowen. He listened to her heart, checked her eyes and ears, blood pressure and lungs. Once he was satisfied he nodded at his assistants who stepped forward and took one of Elowen’s arms tying a rubber roped around her forearm.

“We have created a serum, it’s like a truth serum. We are trying to study its affects and how the mind responds. We will give you injections three times a day and ask you a series of questions.

“So that’s it? You want to create a truth serum?” Elowen raised an incredulous eyebrow and then jerked as the assistant poked at her arm with the needle.

“Well we know that similar serums have been made, it manipulates your mind into telling the truth. We have limited knowledge on how it works and how much it works. That’s what we want to find out. We want to go beyond just liquid lie detectors.

“What’s it made of?” Elowen swatted away the young man again as he poked her and missed.

“Oh too many things to name off. Now if you hold still we will give you, your first injection.” The doctor urged his nurse to try once more and once again the dude missed her vein.

“Ouch. Feck off man. You trying to bruise me?” Elowen snatched the dark crimson liquid syringe from the man and opened her arm up. She placed the rubber rope in her mouth and pulled tighter watching the veins pulse against her skin. Rolling her shoulders she focused in on her arm and then swiftly inserted the needle. She practically moaned at the feel of the metal sinking beneath her skins. Her thumb pushed down on the tube and she watched as the liquid slowly slide under her flesh.

When she was done she removed the needle and pressed two fingers firmly against the hole to stop the bleeding.  She was an expert at injecting herself, but the lack of euphoria reminded her of the promise she had made herself.

“You needed better fecking nurses.”

July 01, 2019 02:04 pm

Elowen Jocosta

                Every day for three months Elowen was escorted by the numb nut nurses three times a day to get injected with their mystery mind opening serum. They had tried again on the second day to inject her veins with the crimson chemical but continued to have no skills whatsoever with a needle. So they let Elowen inject herself each day, standing around as her “supervisors”. This place really didn’t seem to be well put together but Elowen just kept reminding herself of the pay day at the end of this bizarre tunnel.

                Every third day after her bland supper was served to her in her sterile white room, she would be questioned. They of course needed to observe if the desired effect was working on her mind. So far the results have been inconclusive, at least that’s what they relayed to her every time she asked for any answers. Apparently her drug riddled brain was a tough cookie to crack. She had evaded questions that they deemed truthful answers for. However, she could hear other subjects in her same corridor screaming in agony throughout the night, an unsettling indication that the drug was working on someone. She had hoped that she would never reach that part of the program. Elowen had very little tolerance for pain.

             She had overheard the doctors speaking outside her door one night near the end of her third month. They were talking in harsh whispered tones about the trial not working on her and that they should just let her leave and spend their resources on someone that would be more receptive to the transformation. The first emotion that raced through Elowen was elation, she was ready to get out of this jail cell and feed her body real drugs and euphoria. Her second feeling was dread. Something in her gut cautioned her against the excitement. A gnawing in the back of her brain made her paranoid about what leaving meant.

                “Dr., I’ve done the research. I think if we try the bloodletting process we will be successful. We’ve never had someone so stubborn to submit to the intake of plasma. All the others are dying out. We need to try.”

                That piqued Elowen’s interest. Plasma? Bloodletting? Transformations? Dying?

                Yeah, those words had definitely sent an earthquake like shiver down her spine. At once she leapt from the confines of her tiny cot and started pacing from wall to wall in her room. What is this place? Elowen had been in such a drugged up haze that she couldn’t think logically at the time of her retrieval for this study and she had been so concerned about the money at the end of this that she didn’t mind eating up all of the lies they fed her. She believed that they in truth had been trying to do something to her mind, now she wasn’t sure what exactly that was.

                Tap, Tap, Tap.

                A knock on the door triggered a fresh shot of anxiety to her brain and she leapt to the door pulling the handle close to her body.

                “Miss Jocosta, we’ve decided to add another round of shots to your program.” A lithe voice clearly traveled through the door and Elowen squeezed her eyes shut hoping that she was dreaming.


                                “Miss Jocosta?” Another knocked followed.

                “I’m sick. Go away.” The scratch in her throat strained her words even though she knew it was no use.

                They owned her.

                “Miss Jocosta we will open this door. You can be so kind as to let us or we will use force.”

                Elowen scoffed at the demand.  “You aren’t helping your case by threatening me.” Nonetheless she took a step back and after a second she watched the metal handle creak and turn till the door swung open. The woman looking at her was the same woman she had gotten into the car with when she was brought to this facility. Elowen was taken aback at the sight of her. She hadn’t seen her since she signed her life over to this fecked up scientific feck show.

                “What do you want from me? Can’t I just go home?” Elowen backed further into the room as the woman and three other very large men walked through the doorframe and into her private space.

                “You can never go home.” The woman in charge said calmly.

                Elowen darted, trying to make a dash but there was nowhere to go. No room to hide in, no window to crawl through, the only escape was a blocked path. Still she tried, she only made it a few steps before one of the burly men reached out a hand and wrapped it tightly around her throat. Elowen thrashed and tried to peel his fingers away from her precious airway but the blackness was already starting to settle around her. Before she truly faded to black she felt her body collapsed to the ground in a painful thumb and heard a vague command that someone get the room ready.

                This couldn’t be good.

July 08, 2019 12:57 pm

Elowen Jocosta

                White spots with rings of black spotted Elowen’s vison as her heavy head lolled to the side and her eyes lids rapidly tried to open. Her wrists and feet were bound to the corners of a cool metal table. A large weighty strap constricted her chest, thighs, and abdomen. She tried to thrash against her restraints but the only thing capable of moving was her shoulders. She forced her eyes fully open and was blinding by a light that seemed to be mere inches from her face. She was alone in the room, but just beyond her feet she could see a glass window and behind it stood a slew of people. All watching her like she was some kind of caged animal.

                One of the people standing behind the glass clicked a button on what looked to be a detonator and pain exploded through Elowen’s body. A guttural growl escaped her throat as her body twitched under the pain. Her head attempting to snap to the side but another strap was holding her head steady. Her eyes looked for the cause of the pain. The sight she saw was confusing and disturbing.  Tubes were underneath so many parts of her skin and they were quickly filling with dark crimson liquid, only the liquid was draining from her body, a reverse transfusion. They were sucking her dry of her precious blood. She willed herself to thrash and scream and pull against her restraints but with every ticking second her limps slackened and her mind faded from focus.

                Through the cracks of her drooping lids Elowen saw the people behind the glass bustle in excitement of their accomplishment of murder.

                ‘Feckers.’ Was the last abysmal thought that stitched itself into her memories.

                Everything ached.

                Her body felt like it was going through withdraw all over again only 100 times worse. Her throat scratched with thirst and the shivers felt more like convulsions. She tried to force her eyes open but instantly squeezed them shut again when the bright lights hit her pupils. An agonizing hiss slithered through her lips as she tried again. Her retinas burned but she forced herself to look around the room, letting everything flood back.   

                “Miss Jocosta.” Elowen’s head snapped to the side and looked up into the face of the women that had brought all this turmoil to her life. Her hand pressed against the restraints eagerly wanting to get her fingers around the throat of this vile creature. “How do you feel Miss Jocosta?” The women’s sneer twisted into an unsettling smile and Elowen let her eyes dart back to the people behind the glass all eagerly waiting.

                “What did you do to me?” Elowen asked through gritted teeth, eyes like daggers pointed back at her nemesis.

                “I’ve made you into something that you could never imagine. You are my beautiful creation. Your blood is no longer your own. Once we studied you, we can train you. You will have strength and power that’s never been achieved before. You wi-“Her speech was cut short by Elowen’s new found strength and power. The anger had boiled up inside of her and when she reached out a hand once more she felt the strap at her wrist give way. In seconds she had wrapped her hand around the women’s throat crushing her airway until she crumpled to the ground.

                That’s when the chaos erupted.

                Elowen yanked herself free of her other restraints before descending upon the broken figure of a women lying dead beside her feet. Kneeling next to her Elowen heard the blood trickling through her veins and it was calling out to her. With a swift movement Elowen ripped her teeth along the women’s throat and drank in her blood. The metallic liquid rushed inside of her and she drank till the scratch in her throat subsided. When she was satisfied she looked up to all the terrified faces of the people behind the glass.

                They did this to her.

                None of them helped.

                None of them deserved to live.

                “You think you’re save behind your precious glass?!” Elowen’s voice broke as screamed at them. Reaching down she put one hand on the dead women’s t-shirt and the other grabbed the ankle of her pants. With grace and ease, Elowen tossed the dead weight at the crowd of people and smiled with satisfaction as the glass fractured all around them and came crashing to the ground.

                She leapt through the opening, knocking computers and over equipment out of her way.

                The tried to scramble away but she was too quick. Whatever they had done to her was working against them. She was in complete control. She snarled at her victims and lunged, breaking necks and tossing bodies. Once she had successfully murdered each and every living body in the room, she feasted. They blood stained her lips and the floors around them.

                She left no survivors.

                But what of the people beyond this room?

                Throwing the door open she stepped into the hall and came face to face with a young women in a lab coat. Elowen tilted her head in contemplation. The girl peeked beyond her shoulder and then slammed back against the wall in horror, a hand covering her mouth.

                “Don’t scream.” Elowen warned. She took a step closer, inhaling the scent of the girl, one single finger reaching out to feel the pulse at her throat. Just was Elowen was letting her mouth fall upon the girls flesh a heinous wailing siren screeched onto the intercom system. Elowen’s teeth ripped into the girl’s neck and she slumped to her death.

                Elowen looked left and then right and left again.

                Damn, she should have paid more attention.

                “Breech. Breech. Breech.” An automated warning voice had replaced the squealing alarm and Elowen darted down the hall. She took a few wrong turns and killed anyone that crossed her path. When she finally reached an exit she ripped the door off its hinges and fled the building.

                Her eyes burned from the crisp clear images around her and her ears rang in pain but she ran.

                She continued to run and she didn’t look back.

July 15, 2019 04:30 pm


The demon Author was between assignments from his infernal masters as he drove along in his rented silver Nissan Altima; as usual, he was bored and looking for trouble.  He saw an opportunity: a bloody woman in hospital garb running remarkably fast away from a walled and gated building.  "She seems nice," he said out loud to no one in particular and then laughed at the preposterous statement.  She was obviously dangerous, but likely running from something worse.  He surveyed the terrain and devised a plan to intercept.  There was a place shielded by trees and approximately in the woman's path.  He drove there and flung the passenger door wide open.  He gave three short beeps of the horn and yelled to her 'Over here!'  He was already calculating in his head that he had enough gasoline and daylight to cross the state line without stopping. 

July 16, 2019 04:18 pm

Elowen Jocosta

The wind whipped around as she ran from the building. Stupid, she had been so incredibly stupid for the things she had done. Her addiction to drugs had put her in some questionable situations but never one that truly deemed whether or not she was going to live or die. Life had been stripped out of her grasp and put into the hands of a stranger. The consequences she now had to face were beyond her comprehension. She didn’t understand, she didn’t know what they had done to her.


She did know.

They had created a murderer. But for what purpose? She could feel the blood caked on her skin and for a moment she wanted to drop to her knees and vomit all of heinous liquid from her system.  She wanted the rusty red liquid expelled from her body, but there was something also in the back of her mind that whispered her secret craving for the taste.

What the feck had they done to her?

Her body burned and she pushed her legs harder. She had scaled the massive fence of the building with an ease she never had before in her life. She didn’t take a moment to appreciate it though, she couldn’t stop. Her body pushed forward and she ran until the forest and the road met together in harmony. At least she was getting somewhere, somewhere she didn’t know. Left or right, it didn’t matter what direction she went, she had no bearing on this place and couldn’t even tell you what city she was in.


She cursed herself again and had steadily kept her pace when she heard something whizzing behind her. She let her head whip to the side just in time to see a car squeal to a stop, the passenger side door popping open like it was a jack in the box.

‘Ove here’ A voice called to her as a horn blared

It was the exact opposite of discretion.

Part of her wanted to jump into the car and get away from this place as fast as possible, the other part of her knew that this could be a trap. What if this was someone from the facility. She had gotten into a strangers car once before and it didn’t end up in her favor. Elowen liked to think that she used to be trustworthy person and that she gave everyone a fair chance.

That was slowly changing. Doubt creeping into her every thought.

Her body twitched ready to make another mad dash. She could run, she was fast. She looked over her shoulder and could no longer see the facility. She had covered a lot of ground. She didn’t need this stranger and his shiny car. She could easily escape. Plus why did he stop? She was covered in drying blood and running like an insane person. He couldn’t be any good. He had to be something vile and wrong.

“Do you work for them?” She spat the word ‘them’ at him like it was poison on her tongue.

July 16, 2019 05:51 pm


As she approached closer he could now see the blood around her mouth, it was not her own.  So she was either seriously deranged or a vampire or something even worse.  It was clear that she had killed recently.  Author did not regret his decision, in fact he was even more sure this would be an interesting adventure.

"Do you work for them?" 

"No, ma'am," he replied instantly.  Author had found that when people were lying they often used too many words in response to questions.  Whether he was lying or telling the truth, when he was asked direct probing questions he always answered simply.

He reached into the visor and pulled out his own sunglasses and laid them on the dash in front of where she would be sitting if she indeed got into the car.  "The sun is bright, these will help.  Judging by the blood around your mouth, and you having escaped a secure facility with no name on the outside, I'd say you haven't made any friends today, and you could really use at least one. Hop in.  I won't lock the door, you can get out whenever you want, and I'll keep both hands on the steering wheel until you say otherwise."  

That was enough, he felt.  She would decide yes or not based on those relevent factors.  He now stared straight ahead at the road and waited.

July 16, 2019 08:23 pm

Elowen Jocosta

There was something unsettling about this man and how he had just happened upon her. She was in what seemed to be the middle of nowhere. She hadn’t seen another car since he had stopped to aid her and if she could recall the initial drug hazen trip to the facility it seemed to be a rather secluded area. Whatever this place was, they didn’t want to be found. Plus, there was still the being covered in blood thing that didn’t seem to alarm this man.

When he spoke to her he sounded so matter of fact, no funny business. He seemed like the type of person that she would have trusted mere months ago. She had worked in the slums and alleys, she had crawled into the cars of men that seemed a little sleazy had done her job and walked away with no fear that her life would be protected. She had heard horror stories about girls like her getting mixed up with the wrong kind of men, but this time she had carelessly crawled into the backseat of a women’s car. A monster in disguise.

Everyone always told her, never walk alone at night, a man might snatch you.

Never take a drink from a man, he’ll drug you. Ha.

Never trust a man, they’ll kill you.

Well in her experience the men may have been scum, but they came for a service, paid and went their merry way. They bought her free drinks and helped her get her drugs. No, men weren’t the cause of this no found distrust. It was brought on by a daughter of Eve. It was a woman that brought this turmoil to her, and now she couldn’t trust anyone.

She couldn’t even trust herself.

The battle inside of her head ragged and she felt her body tremble from the anxiety of it all. How was she supposed to just through her life into the hands of another stranger. Her eyes studied him, he didn’t look particularly scary, and he didn’t look very scientific either like the people at the medical center but there was still something screaming evil in the back of her mind.

A frustrated growl snaked from within as she pressed her hands to her temples. Her head was pounding and her body was aching. How could she be here? For the first time in her life she truly wished that she could die. She wanted to be rid of this, whatever this was. How did people live their entire lives in uncertainty? She couldn’t take it.

In no way shape or form had Elowen had an easy life. She moved from foster house to group home to juvie. She was a junkie surfing on peoples couches waiting to find the next high. She didn’t know what it was like to be loved, she knew pleasure, euphoria and lust, she never had parents that taught her right from wrong. She was the type of person that parents warned their kids about. She was the example of what not to be.

Through all of that though, she had always trusted herself and her mind she could always rely on herself and rely on the creature of habit that she was. Now she couldn’t, they took that away from her. She wanted to scream and run and die and cry, god she wanted to cry but there were no tears present. Nothing fell from her ducts, what had they done to her? What had they done to her?

She willed herself to breathe but the air only burned her lungs as she inhaled. Elowen had almost forgotten about the man and his car, the world had blurred around her as she was trapped within her own mind trying to decipher the choices laid out for her. He had said that he would let her be in charge, she called the shots, and he’d keep his hands steady on the wheel. It wasn’t the worst thing, it would help her get away.


She wouldn’t fall into that trap again.

She had to be better.


“The only way I’m getting in that car is if I’m behind the wheel.” Yes, that was a good idea, if she drove he couldn’t take her back to the facility to those monsters. That was her condition, she drove or she was on her own. She didn’t need his help, she didn’t need anyone’s help. Not anymore.

July 18, 2019 03:44 pm


Precious minutes had passed. This woman was clearly going through many emotions, he could almost see the thoughts tugging her back and forth.  Finally she made her decision. 

"The only way I'm getting in that car is if I'm behind the wheel." 

Author felt her words in his loins; it was a curious mixture of fear and excitement.  One of the reasons for stopping his car here was the fact that almost nothing could penetrate his boredom.  He smiled.  Taking the sunglasses from the dash, he hung them on the steering wheel and got out of the car leaving the door open.

"This promises to be a wild ride," he said cheerily, and then inclined his head as he heard the sound of a helicopter.  He couldn't see it, but then the car was tucked away in a grove of trees at the moment.  "I mean, what could go wrong?" He did not look her in the eyes as he walked around, he thought she might take that as a challenge. Instead he looked at her bare legs, until he could get in the passenger side and close the door.  He pulled at the seat belt then abandoned it, allowing it to slide back with a click.  He pulled out his cell phone and adjusted his trousers for comfort.  "I'll navigate," he offered as he fiddled with the device pulling up a local map. 

July 18, 2019 07:03 pm

Elowen Jocosta

He was supposed to say ‘no way’ and drive off without her so she didn’t have to make any more decisions. Clearly he didn’t know that though because instead he crawled out of the driver’s side of the car and slipped easily intro the passenger seat paying her no attention as he did so. Damn. Her gut twisted and there was a moment’s hesitation before she made her way around the car, he finger dragged along the cool siding of the car trying to tether her to reality. This was all seeming like some crazy dream or hallucination from a bad drop of acid but she knew she was sober, and she had no doubt in her mind that she was indeed awake. She wanted so badly to revert time.

Chush, chush, chush, chush.

The loud soundwaves of helicopter blades sliced through the air above them and a chill froze Elowen to the ground. There was no fecking way that helicopter was for her. She wasn’t a real prisoner, why would they spend the resources to find her? Sure they may not want people to know about their weird ass experiments but nobody would believe her if she told them. People didn’t trust drug addicts and Elowen was an addict through and through. People knew as soon as she walked into a room that she was never really there with them. Her eyes were always glazed over with a veil of euphoria.

“ Sish.” Maybe they had called the police and told them that she had murdered half of their staff. Surely that warranted the use of a helicopter. Damn.

Finally she ducked into the car and wrapped her hands around the wheel, and felt a small dose of freedom she hadn’t felt for a long time. This would probably be a good time to tell her new comrade that she had her license revoked and hadn’t driven a car in over a year…but she wouldn’t do that. She needed to control this. Her knuckles flared white as she squeezed at the wheel again, her feet stretching out to touch the brake pedal.


She held her breathe for a moment and then snapped her eyes over to the owner of the vehicle as he clicked his belt into place. She decided to follow suit and strapped herself into the seat before slipping the sunglasses over her eyes that he had left on the wheel for her. They were a little big for her and she had to wiggle her nose to keep them up but it gave her eyes some much needed relief and gave her a very skewed sense of anonymity.

“Feck.” Clearly Elowen wasn’t a woman of many words.


One hand moved off of the wheel and changed the car into drive, half a beat later her foot slammed on the pedal and the cars wheel spun out for a moment before hurtling the car forward. Man it felt good to be behind the wheel of a car again. Elowen’s dark brown eyes darted between the man with his gps and the speedometer that was quickly creeping up the scales. Trees whizzed by on the outside world as Elowen carefully listened for direction on where to go. She took sharp turns and couldn’t find the power to slow down, only push the car to its limits. She needed to put as much space between the facility and her as she could.

July 22, 2019 08:26 pm


Author said nothing for the first 15 minutes other than to give directions.  She needed to go fast, she needed to collect her thoughts, it was his impression that anything he said that felt like instructions would be met by an ouburst of rage.  He took a deep breath, he waited and observed using all his senses.  She still had the smells of a woman, which meant to him that she either was not a vampire, or that the change had taken place very recently.  She had clearly killed someone recently and drunk their blood, that certainly was something in favor of the vampire theory.  Her knuckles were bloody and showed old bruises, captivity against her will was his guess.  He wanted to check for a pulse, he wanted to feel the temperature of her skin, those would tell him sure.  For now he just mused.

From her question, 'do you work for them?' he was sure that she must have been held prisoner at that fortress-like nameless facility.  What were they doing?  Were they trying to cure her of vampirism and failed? Or had they been trying to make her a vampire and succeeded?  If so they might have added features, it was within the realm of human genetics already.  Or was he wrong about the vampire theory and she just for some reason chose to kill by biting; he doubted that, her instinct was to run not fight. So here is this magnificent creature, probably as fine a killing machine as the world has ever produced and yet she acts like a rabbit, her brain driven only by fear at the moment.

She seemed to have calmed a little. One of her turns on a curve of the road took them all the way off the shoulder into a field but she got it back.  Finally he spoke.

"Good job losing the helicopter.  One mile ahead we can take a right on to old US 1.  It will take us most of the way out of the state, then we'll have to take the main road for a bit. I've heard that states don't cooperate very well on emergencies, so if we can get across the line we can probably breathe.  If there's a blockade at the line, you'll have to run it full speed.  They'll not expect it, they never expect someone to be fully committed to a course of action. We'll change cars after. Until then though, I wish you wouldn't attract the attention of local cops with your speed, and I'd remind you that even small repairs to a damaged vehicle will be very problematic.  If you don't mind my asking, how did you get yourself in this situation?"  He smiled trying to make the last bit sound conversational.

July 23, 2019 08:34 am

Elowen Jocosta

Elowen kept a firm grip on the wheel and her eyes on the road, her eyes listening for the directions from the passenger. She needed to get away as fast as she could and she didn’t want to look back. Something screamed inside her head and tried to break her focus but her determination stayed steady as a mountain and she forged on through the haze. Left, right, forward. For all she knew he could be taking her in circles or trying to confuse her direction so she would wind back up in the same place that she had started. Elowen did not trust this man with her life but he was the only escape plan that she had at the moment, so she took his directions and sped the car in the pointed out locations.

She drove in silence and was aggravated as the man finally broke the silence to questions about things that weren’t any of his business. Why did he think he had the right to know what she was going through? Sure he was here and helping her but that didn’t automatically dictate that he needed to know why she was in trouble and how she had gotten into that situation. He wasn’t her therapist and he sure as hell wasn’t her friend, he was simply a getaway.

Elowen turned her head to look at him coolly for a moment and lost control of the car for a second. Her hand had jerked the wheel and they spun in a circle for a moment, her foot slamming on the break as smoke blew out for the exhaust. She took a moment to breathe and then looked back at the road in front of her, then back to the man in the seat beside her.

Don’t say anything.

Don’t say anything.

Just drive.

‘Drive fast, then ditch him and forget that this whole day ever existed. You get rid of him and then you can move on with your life. Just stay focused.’

These words rattled on and on in her brain, a mantra that was just urging her to get through the day. Elowen felt as if she was slowly losing her sanity and she longed for the days before all of this had occurred. She missed walking the streets with heroine in her veins and a relaxed smile on her face. She missed the friends that she had had and the trouble she usually evaded. Elowen wanted the worst parts of her life to revisit her because of all the things she had experience up till now, this whole mess was a lot worse.

She had no control.

No power.

No dignity.

Begrudgingly she finally let a husky slew of words fall from her lips. “I really appreciate that you are helping me out and I know that you’ve gone out of your way to do so but perhaps we shouldn’t question each other. You don’t need to know what happened to me or what’s going to happen to me and I don’t need to know why you were trolling an abandon street and thought it was a good idea to pick up a girl covered in blood. You get me across the line, we say goodbye and forget the other exists. Deal?” She said this all in one breath, looking over his shoulder and not directly into his eyes. When she twisted back around she let the seatbelt snap her back against the seat before once more pushing the accelerator and jerked the car back to life, this time she drove a smidge slower.

Just a smidge.

They had lost the helicopter and she hadn’t heard any sirens in a long while, apparently she wasn’t worth that much. The secret facility must really want to remain a secret and not draw the attention of the public eye. Any place that wanted to stay hidden and out of sight was clearly up to no good. Elowen remembered the echoing screams of agony from the people in their own sterile white rooms along the same corridor where she had slept and thanked whoever was out there that she had made it out of that hell alive, and at the same time a trickle of guilt tickled her mind.

She should have helped them.

Shaking her headed she focused again on the road as they were nearing a more populated route where other cars trailed along the road with her. It must meant they were getting close to their destination on the state line.

July 24, 2019 07:10 pm


“I really appreciate that you are helping me out and I know that you’ve gone out of your way to do so but perhaps we shouldn’t question each other. You don’t need to know what happened to me or what’s going to happen to me and I don’t need to know why you were trolling an abandon street and thought it was a good idea to pick up a girl covered in blood. You get me across the line, we say goodbye and forget the other exists. Deal?”


Author sighed audibly when she spoke.  He considered and dismissed several approaches to answer her.  Minutes passed.  They were on the highway now, minutes from the state line.  People in other cars occasionally starred in horror at the driver of his car with the blood and hospital clothes.  Mercifully, no police happened to be here, at least not yet.

"State line just ahead, after that we'll take the first left and that will take us into a sleepy little town with a gas station.  If you are committed to breaking up the partnership, stop the car after the turn and before the town, so that you can get out without being seen and get in the woods.  I will tell you that I'm disappointed with that outcome, but I have no choice but to accept it.  You don't owe me an explanation of anything, I have no desire to try to keep you against your will.  Friends don't act like that to each other."

He wanted to say more, but knew it would just make her more uncomfortable.  He looked straight ahead through the windshield and resisted once more putting his hand on her leg.  She was so wired, anything could set her off right now.  He did happen to notice, just then, the fading irregular scars dotting her left arm.  He knew what that meant and addded it to his own imaginary reconstruction of events.

July 25, 2019 10:28 am
Actives (9) Fresh Blood (4) View All The Fallen (3) Graveyard
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