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How I'm Feeling Inside


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Elowen Jocosta


She had to just keep running.

Her legs burned with stinging fire as she pushed her body faster, arms pumping at her sides as warm bursts of air pushed out of her parted lips. The road was somewhere to her left, the cover of trees a familiar path she’d run through before. The branches whipped by and grazed her exposed face. Everything ached, but she willed herself to keep moving. It had only been a few months since she had taken this familiar trek through the woods, only now she knew better, she wasn’t fleeing from the bodies she had murdered or the facility that had taken away her humanity. This time she was running away from the building with a plan brewing in the depths of her mind.

Wahnsinn had been a savior to her. Bishop, Josie, Liam, Jameson. All of them had been her saviors, given her a stability that she had never had before in her life but there was something they couldn’t give her. Answers. Wen knew that she was stuck in the middle of human and vampire but she hadn’t gotten further into discovering what was truly happening to her. She needed these answers, her sanity was slipping away every day and the trauma of the events were incinerating all her waking thoughts.

She was made into a killer.

She thirsted for blood.

She had no control of the being that she now was.

Each day she was slipping away from reality, the slightest thing could set her into a spiral into the cold abyss. Her mind was not her own and the things that she did frightened her, she needed answers and she couldn’t sit around anymore and wait for them to come to her. She was going digging and she was going to get to the bottom of what happened to her. She would drag every single one of her coven mates down this adventure with her if they were willing. Elowen refused to keep living in this straightjacket, it was time for her to stop being a victim. It was time to figure out what the feck happened at the facility.

Wen finally reached the car she had ditched a few miles away from the building and quickly jumped in, heading back into the city where her current residence was. Wahnsinn headquarters were her home now, and she was hoping with everything inside of her that her friend would for once be in his room before she was. It was as if a lightbulb had gone off in her head and she couldn’t wait to get back to the facility. She thought that if she could go back and see the building, she could get closure and move on. However, the longer she stood staring at the structure the more she wanted to go back in, she needed to see the building through fresh eyes and she was going to bring Liam with her.  Wen was willing to search that building high and low for the answers to questions that have been plaguing her consciousness.

When the brunette reached her destination she tossed the car into park and ran into the building, heading straight for her best friends room. Without knocking, she entered the room and started shuffling about, she barely glanced in her friend’s direction as she moved about his room as if she owned the place. She ripped the gray t-shirt from her body revealing her bare chest for just a moment before she dug through Liam’s clothes and pulled on a black hoodie. The garment swallowed up her upper half and the edge rubbed her leggings clad thighs. Finally she quickly pulled her hair into a tight bun on the top of her head before giving attention to the person whose space she just invaded.

“Liam.” Her name came briskly from her lips as she plopped down on his bed, her eyes staring directly into his.

“Liam I went to the facility…the one that did this to me. I just stood outside but I want to go in. I need to get in there. Will you come with me?” Her head canted to the side as she reached out a hand, resting it on his cheek as she stared at him expectantly.

“Please? Will you go with me?” There was a manic frenzy behind her eyes, she had to do this. Even if it were dangerous or detrimental to her wellbeing, she had this idea in her head that it would help and she was determined to get inside that building for answers.  


September 12, 2019 08:18 pm

Liam Moore

A chill seeped into Liam's bones as he sat within the library of Wahnsinn, as he flipped the next page of the book and a small sigh left him. Sweet Dawn had a heart of gold but she simply caused Creed too much trouble. Though he supposed that was what made the book so good he did hope Dawn wouldn't freeze to death. Speaking of freezing Liam would finally take note to how chilled he was, he blinked his tired eyes. Just how long had he been in here? He didn't often stay in the library, usually he got his book and left however he didn't wish to stay in his room today. Seeing the grimoires of all the witches lives he ended it was starting to get to him. He should just toss them out but there were a few spells he would like to keep, he would simply just have to copy them and then properly dispose of the spell books.

Liam would slip his bookmark into place before closing the book, he would have to figure out what was to happen to Dawn tomorrow he needed to get some sleep. He rose from his spot on the floor he would proceed to do a small stretch before leaving the library and heading for his room. He would avoid making contact with any of the other members simply because he was tried and didn't want to socialize that would take far too much effort.

Once he was in the safety of his room he would toss his romance novel onto one of the many piles of books, and head directly for his bead, normally he would get into proper sleeping attire but he just wanted to welcome the sweet embrace of sleep. He flopped onto his bed and made himself into a blanket burrito within his silken sheets. He couldn't have been asleep for more than twenty minutes before he heard his bedroom door open and the footsteps. He didn't bother to open his eyes he was certain he knew who had entered his room, he simply started to unravel himself from the blankets so she could crawl under them. He stopped when he heard the rummaging, he groggily opened his eyes sitting up slowly it took him a moment to focus on Wen and what she was doing.

He wasn't exactly expecting to see a topless Wen but she had seen him in his boxers countless times so he wasn't about to say anything. Nor would he really question her stealing his clothing he had come to go with the flow when it came to his dear friend. Liam would rest against his head board as she finally looked at him. A small bit of panic rose within him as he heard how she said his name how she looked at him it would damn near impossible to tell something was off. He remained silent as she talked and leaned into her touch a small smile on his face.

His hand would come up and take a hold of hers as he would rise from his bed, sleep be damned. He was eager to see this place, to see the people who caused Wen to be this way. He mostly wanted to watch the life drain from their eyes , here them beg and plead for him not to kill them. Though perhaps that was not his place, this had be Wen's revenge. And he would stand beside her as she got it, he would make sure she got it no matter the cost.

"Wen you know I would do anything for you, there is no need to ask me. Simply lead the way."
September 14, 2019 02:21 pm

Elowen Jocosta

Wen and Liam had a fast friendship, one that seemed to develop overnight but there was a comfort in his presence and she needed that on this little journey to the facility. She knew that she could rely on him to help her when she needed. Even if it wasn’t easy. They had a tumultuous friendship, both afraid to harm one another, but it was strong and their bond couldn’t be broken. So Wen sat in bed with him taking in the moment and appreciating his ever vigilant participation in whatever she asked of him.

When she stood on the perimeter of the forest staring into the building she knew that she needed to get inside its walls. She feared what she would find there but she couldn’t escape this feeling that something was waiting for her inside. Maybe it was just the closure she needed or maybe there were still people there that she needed to face. Either way, she was going and she was glad that Liam would be by her side. It had been hard to tell is the building was still bustling with life or abandoned, but if it wasn’t abandoned and there were still people operating out of the structure she was glad to have backup.

She waited for him to gather whatever things he needed before leading him out the door and down to the car she had park on the curb near the entrance to their coven. The car was…rustic. Okay it wasn’t rustic as much as rusty. A super old car that had been run into a few times by the looks of it, but it was dirt cheap and Elowen only needed it to for short trips. Mainly she had been saving it up for this trip in particular and she was glad to have it now to reach the destination quicker.

Thoughts of visiting this torturous place had been rolling inside her brain for too long and she finally had the courage to do it. There was no going back, she was going into that building and she was going to look at it through clear eyes and an open mind. There was a part of her that wanted people to still be walking the walls in their scrubs and lab coats, she wanted to shed more blood on the people that took away her sanity, her control, her life. Images of bodies scattered around the rooms her mind could conjure up from her memories hung like portraits in her mind. She wanted every last one of them to pay for what they did to her.

Wen was never promised a pretty life, she knew that she wouldn’t likely make it past age 50 but she still thought she deserved a chance at happiness.

Still as much as she wanted this people dead, as much as she wanted them to grovel in pain as she made them face their monster, more than anything she wanted to understand what they had done.

It didn’t seem like there was any changing her situation so the least she could do was understand what she was. What her mind and body had gone through and what was to be expected. If she understood herself maybe she could keep hold of her sanity longer.

Once strapped into the clunker, Wen drove them out of the city and back towards the seclusion of the building. The trip would take a fair few minutes but she needed to the time to calm the rapid flapping butterflies in her stomach.

With one hand on the wheel she reached the other hand over and placed it on top of Liam’s own hand.

“I don’t know what we are going to find there. I don’t know if there will be people or if it will be empty. We could get ourselves killed or we could some answers about what they did to me.” She tossed a quick glance in his direction before turning her attention back to the road.  “I don’t know what to expect in there. But I really appreciate you coming with me.” 

Pulling her hand from his to make a right turn she tried to distract her with thoughts of happier things.

“Liam, if you were a fish. What color fish do you think you’d be?”

September 15, 2019 02:50 pm

Liam Moore

Liam felt a bit of happiness swell inside him as they made there way through the coven, this was in no way a happy event but Wen trusted him enough to want him to be beside her during it. He couldn't recall when the last time he had a friendship like this, it was nice and refreshing. Even if it did have it's ups and down but he supposed all friendships were this way. Minus the almost killing each other but he was just going to pretend that part never happened.

He would eye the car with a bit of concern, it was old very old. Was she even sure that would get them to where they needed to be? He would shoot a glance towards his friend, maybe arching his brow slightly at the car. Though she seemed to trust it and it's not as if he had a better car to offer in it's place.

Once in the car Liam would attempt to keep his eyes on the road but he often found them drifting towards Wen. He was worried for her, this couldn't be easy. He couldn't even think about returning to the place that turned him into the monster he is now. Perhaps in a way he was envious of her, she was facing probably one of her biggest fears, she was doing something completely amazing and he wasn't even sure if she knew it. Eyes shifted to their hands as she grabbed his and he gently squeezed hers in return.

"Come now my dear Wen there is no one strong enough to take us down when we are together." He didn't exactly believe his words it would be foolish to think that if there were people within the facility that they would come out unharmed, he did know that he would try his best to protect her. She didn't heal like him, she couldn't take as many hits as he could. He wouldn't let her die, not here. "Elowen I am proud of you, you know that? You are one of the strongest, and bravest woman I have ever met. I don't know what lies within that place but we can handle it, we will face it together."

He gave her a reassure smile, before it shifted into that of an amused one. "A fish? Hm...that's a bit of a tough one. I would probably be a black one but if I could pick the color of my scales I think I would like to be blue and red like a betta fish. What about you?" It was a bit of an odd question but it kept there minds from wondering and thinking of things that would most likely only cause discomfort.
September 16, 2019 11:54 am

Elowen Jocosta

The words he spoke for their strength in pairs made her feel very warm and fuzzy in her stomach, but she tried not to let it spread to far inside of her. There could always be disappointment at the end of the day. It just felt nice to have some care for her and be so open about it. Elowen had never had that in her life, people usually always wanted something from her. The one person who never expected anything from her wound up dead so to say this was a change of pace would be an understatement.

She was nervous about going inside of the facility, she didn’t know what she was going to find there. She was perfectly okay with admitting this fear, she wasn’t afraid of showing weakness. However, she didn’t want to psyche herself out and make herself even more nervous by talking or thinking about the adventure to come.

“Hm, that sound like a pretty cool. If I was a fish I’d want to be like iridescent, like my scales were glittering rainbows.” Sure this conversation sounded childish and held no relevance to any situation but it made her feel better, so, she continued to ask weird and bizarre questions as they drove down the familiar path.

If you could name a new planet what would you name it?

If you could pick two people in the whole world to be your parents who would they be?

Do you think if we lived on the moon it would always be night?

If they sky wasn’t blue what should it be?

They were stupid and pointless questions, but this was a game she had played so often with Marcie. After they had gone to separate foster homes they spent hours talking on the phone asking each other nonsense questions. Even when Wen could hear screaming in the background or felt uncomfortable sleeping in a bed that wasn’t mean for her she could count on those questions to make it through. She could just think about the answers and it would help her make it till the next time she got to see her friend and hug her for comfort.

So as they drove she asked the questions that Marcie had asked her. Marcie was the best friend she had ever had and she was pretty sure that she was also the best person she had ever known. She didn’t deserve the fate she was dealt.

It took a little over an hour to arrive to their destination, but when they got there Wen parked the car on the side of the road. On the off chance that the building was still in use and there were still people working the gates she didn’t want to be seen. She and Liam needed to be as stealthy as possible to infiltrate the building unnoticed.Upon getting out of the car she didn’t bother looking the doors before slipping her fingers between Liam’s.

“I want you to know but it is partly my fault I wound up here. I entered willingly then and I’m doing the same now. Whatever we see in there, please don’t judge me for it.” With that she tugged him into the cover of the trees and once more took the dark path back to the building. Leaves and twigs snapped beneath their feet as they walked.

The nerves and fear no longer allowing her to speak.

She walked with her friend in unsettling silence till the building came into view. A large fence marked the perimeter. The concrete building looked nothing like a highly guarded medical facility that she had recalled from her heroine clouded memories. It was a massive block, barred windows with no lights to beckon company forward.

That was a good sign right?

September 17, 2019 04:30 pm

Liam Moore

"Oh my god that is way better than my answer, you would be the most beautiful fish ever Wen." Liam's teeth found his lips as thought about each and every question that Wen asked him. "I think if I could name a new planet I would name it Peace that sounds nice, I would enjoy living on a planet called peace."

"If I could pick to people to be my parents...I think I would still pick my parents. My mother was a saint and my father well he loved me as best he could." He would go silent for a moment as he thought of his family, they would be dead by now. A sick feeling rose in his stomach as he realized he didn't even know where they were buried, if they had worried about him when he just up and left, if they were okay after what he did. He was an awful son, who does that to there parents? He was going to get lost in thought till a pot hole jostled him out of his own thoughts and he focused back on Wen. This wasn't about him, this was about her he couldn't allow himself to get distracted.

"Honestly I don't even wanna live on the moon, have you seen any movies that deals with the moon that sh*t is horrifying!"

"I think it would be nice if the sky would stay that purple, redish, yellow color that it turns sometimes. You've seen it before right?"

Liam knew what Wen was trying to achieve with all these questions keep her mind off anything other than what they were doing. And if he was going to be honest Liam himself found it rather nice, what they were about to do it was scary. It wasn't his monster that they were about to face but still he felt a bit scared. From what Wen has said about this place and how she was due to it, this would be no walk in the park. He didn't just think that because of what they might find within but what could happen to Wen's mental. If the scar on his arm was any sort of indicator Wen was unpredictable. There was no telling what could go on in her head but no matter what happened Liam would find himself sticking right beside through the whole thing.

To be honest they had arrived a lot fast than Liam had thought they would, and he was thankful to be out of the car. He really didn't much care for riding in them, he would look to Wen as she took hold of his hand and he would give hers another squeeze. Upon hearing her words Liam gave a small laugh. "Wen we all have pasts and sometimes we aren't proud of them. But they are our past everyone makes mistakes and I need you to know that I will never judge you for yours." Liam would make a mental note to tell her about his past after all this was said in done. He figured it was about time she knew.

A chill would run down his spine as the actual facility came into view, he didn't like one part of it. And Wen was trapped inside this place? Forced to live here? He couldn't even begin to imagine what it was like. Once again he would give her hand a final squeeze and give her a smile, before whispering to her. "Are you ready?"
September 18, 2019 11:29 am

Elowen Jocosta


She was not ready. She was 100% positive that she was not ready for this to happen. It needed to happen. She knew deep down no matter how uncomfortable she was she needed it to happen. There were answers beyond those walls and she couldn’t keep pretending like she was okay with not know what she was anymore. So no, she was not ready and she knew that Liam wouldn’t judge her if she just turned back around and got back in the car silently. Wen knew that he would follow her with no questions asked, Liam would slide into the car next to her and she could drive away without a word and it would be okay.

No. She wasn’t ready to have her heart ripped into a million pieces as her mind tried to process all of the events that had taken place behind those concrete walls. Those people hadn’t physically hurt her, they hadn’t abused her or made her go hungry but they had taken so much away from her and she didn’t know how to cope with that. She was lucky, she wasn’t one of the people that spent the entire night screaming in agony.  She was fortunate that only her piece had been disrupted inside the walls of her padded cell. It wasn’t until after she had escaped the building that the terrible feelings settled over her and altered the state of her mind.

She took a breath.

“I will never be ready.” But even as she spoke the words she moved forward, hands reaching towards the black iron gates. She lifted a foot up to the bottom prong and hoisted herself up, using the strength in her arms to pull her weight up and over the fence. Once she was on the opposite side she hung for a minute before releasing her hands around the cool metal.

She feel with a thud and cursed under breath as her ankle gave under her weight.

Wen shook her foot relieving the tension as she waited for her friend to follow suit over the fence.

Elowen felt him beside her and she began the trek forward, the building looking gargantuan as they approached the employee entrance. No lights could be seen from the bar covered windows and no guards were roaming the perimeter. That was a good sign. Wen reached for the door and yanked it open half expecting an alarm to sound or the door to be locked.

It swung open easily and Wen slipped into the building.

The girl walked along the halls, the walls were blank and white just as she remembered, except the corridor was dark and ridden with shadows from the lack of buzzing fluorescents. She trailed in silence, letting her eyes adjust to the eerie darkness around them. Their footsteps echoed loudly but no one seemed to hear them.

It had been abandoned but how quickly had they left?

Wen was ready to turn back around when she her eye caught sight of a plaque next to a door that was cracked open.


Her room.

Her throat swelled shut as she took a step back bumping into her friend that had been gracious enough to follow her on this endeavor. She closed her eyes and tried to force burning air into her lungs. It was all too real in this moment, seeing the room that she had been locked away in for weeks on end as these people altered her mind and body.

“It’s my room.” In any other situation it wouldn’t be so terrifying but here with Liam at her back it was bringing back all the memories of her last day on this earth as a complete and utterly normal human being. Wen took another beat before working up the courage to step forward and push the door wide open and stepping into her final human memories.

The walls were white, the bed was unkempt and slept in, and an empty glass that had once been filled with water was tipped on its side. Beneath her bed she could see the toe of her shoes peeking out. A pile of her spoiled clothes still in a rumpled pile in the corner of her room. They were late on picking up her laundry that day.

Then on the bedside table, sat a syringe half full still of the dark liquid she had happily injected into her own veins.

She looked around the room and felt a tear pooling in the corners of her eyes. She had no escape from them. The windows were barred and even if they weren’t she wouldn’t have survived the drop from the window. The door stood slightly ajar on its hinges as she try to pull up the memory of the struggle that day. She knew when they came for her that day that she didn’t want to go with them, she knew that everything was going to change that day.

Wen walked to the middle of the room and faced the door before during her eyes to Liam.

“This is where I stood. They came in to get me and I planned on rushing them but they grabbed me.” She turned her attention to the door and before taking a step closer.  “I was fighting them and I got slammed into the door.” Reaching for the door she reached out to touch a small indentation in the heavy metal.   “My head hit here. That’s when everything went black.”

September 20, 2019 08:42 am

Liam Moore

Liam watched her carefully as she hoisted herself over the fence, not because he thought she couldn't do it but because he was worried for her. He kept telling himself that he knew this wasn't easy for her, that she was probably having a hard time but that didn't help things. Liam wasn't entirely sure how he could help her. Was just being here really enough for her?

He found himself climbing over the fence with ease landing down next to her with little to no problem. He would focus on her foot for a second as she shook it about.

He knew Wen wasn't like him, like most vampires due to there little incident where she almost died.And the fact she was still broken for a few weeks after the fact. This trip to this facility was probably good for them both, Liam could learn more about Wen maybe more ways to help her.

Liam swallowed hard as the were fast approaching the building this was unnerving, he would have totally understood if she wanted to turn back. Though he admired her for pushing forward, he certainly would have turned back. If it was him, if it was his old coven home they were approaching he would have turned and ran away. She was so much more stronger than him and she likely didn't even know it.

Once they were inside it took Liam's eyes a few moments to adjust, and once they did a frown would come to his face. He thought it looked bad from the outside but it was so much worse inside, maybe the fact it was abandoned added to it's eeriness but this place was awful. Wen had to live in these walls? Forced to stay here?

He was ripped from his own thoughts once again when Wen stopped walking, his gaze shifted to the door she stood in front of. His eyes focused on the number before he felt Wen bump into him, his placed his hands on her shoulders supporting her and attempting to give her some sort of comfort. Shock was the first thing that would come to Liam, he recovered quickly for Wen's sake however. "Wen we don't have to go in there if you don't want to." He was trying to reassuring but part of him wanted her to go in. Face her fears sort of thing but he wouldn't say that god knows he would never go back to his room. He couldn't instruct her to be brave and do things if he himself could not do them right? Or perhaps that is exactly what he should be doing?

Despite his words he found Elowen opening the door to her room and entering it, he would follow close behind her. He almost felt sick as he entered her room looking around it, the unmade bed, her old shoes and clothes. He knew that this place was awful but it was way worse than he could ever imagine. His eyes would linger on the syringe that sat on the bedside table, what was inside it? Why was it still here? What kind of people did this to others?

He would focus back on Wen as she would look at him and begin to speak. He felt the small amount of anger rising as she told him the story as he looked at the indentation on the door. "Wen I am so sorry. You probably don't want to hear that I mean that doesn't help anything but to have to live like this. I couldn't." He would walk towards his friend a small smile upon his face now, once again trying to be reassuring. "You fought you decided you had enough, do you know how much courage and strength that would take? I am so proud of you."

His eyes would focus back on the indentation. "Wen...what happened when you woke up?" Slightly started to panic. "Not that you have to tell me if it makes you too uncomfortable, this is probably hard enough without me asking questions like that." He would curse himself in his head.
September 22, 2019 11:28 am

Elowen Jocosta

She stared, almost forgetting Liam was in the room as she looked at the indent in the door before reaching a hand back to touch her head. She felt nothing there, no pain or tenderness, no bumps. She didn’t even remember feeling any pain when she had woken up strapped to the table. She was disoriented and confused and then rushed with fear as she watched the people staring from behind the glass.

“Come on.” She stepped across the threshold leaving the room behind. There was nothing else there that see needed to see. Even the syringe discarded wouldn’t do her any good not now. She knew what was in there. Maybe not the exact chemical composition but she knew that it was blood and she knew that she had been the one to inject herself with it every day. She was an addict who knew where her best veins were and how to use the needle. Anger swelled in her chest as she felt a terrible jolt of self-hatred.

She did this to herself.

And they let her.

They probably sat back in their chairs laughing at the stupidity of the young heroin addict.

Elowen was disgusted with herself.

Liam had asked her what had happened to her when she woke up and she would show him.r.

First, though, she was curious about what had happened to the rest of the people that were trapped in this building with her. She walked the few short feet away from her room and over to the room of the man that had wailed through the nights, making Wen toss and turn restlessly till the sun started to creep through the barred windows. She never saw his face but she heard him. Wen thanked the sky above that she wasn’t going through the same pain that he was. Each restless night of sleep she was still happy not to be screaming out in the same tortured agony.

She could have had it much worse in this building.

Rising to her toes she peeked into the small little window of the man’s door, trying to see in the darkness.  It was so dark though and nearly impossible to see. Reaching her hand to the knob she twisted but nothing happened. She tried again but it barely budge.

“Can you break this door open?” Wen swung back around to look at Liam ushering him forward. She looked at him expectantly knowing that he could in fact break the door open. He broke her arm and that was an accident and he hadn’t even thrown her that hard.

When the door was finally open a disgusting putrid smell filled her lungs and she retched. The room looked like hers in construction but there was a mess that made her gag once more. Feces seemed to be scattered around the floor, along with what looked like smears of blood. Crumbled on the bed as a dead body. Starved. The man looked as if all the fat and muscle had been sucked from his being, he looked sunken in like a deflated doll. 

She jolted from the room and fell to her knees.

The bile scorched the back of her throat and she felt the liquidy contents spill from her mouth as she vomited in the hallway. It wasn’t just the smell or the sight that made her sick. No. It was the idea that she was looking at a man whose fate could have been her own. What if she hadn’t broken out? Would her body too be sucked dry and left to rot in an abandoned building.

“Don’t. Go. In. There. Liam.” She pulled at his pants with on hand as the other hand braced against the wall as the contents continued to come up from her stomach.

September 22, 2019 04:23 pm

Liam Moore

Liam watched as Wen rubbed the back of her head, mostly likely where she had hit. He was feeling a mixture of anger and sadness, he was mad that people would do this to Elowen no matter the fact that she came in here willingly humans should be treated like humans. They were lucky that this place was empty that they had abandoned it. For if they had not Liam would have given the a gruesomely slow death. He was sad that she had to go through this alone, scared, worried not knowing how long it would go on. Perhaps he was even mad at himself for not knowing how to make this all okay.

He followed Elowen out of her room as she had instructed taking in the fact that she had not answered his question. It was probably too personal he shouldn't have asked that would be like her asking him to describe how the love of his life died. Oh god what if he was making things worse instead of better? His teeth found his bottom lip nibbling softly on it as the walked away from her room. He continued to bite at his lip as they approached another door, he watched as Wen tried to peer into it.

He watched her fail to open the door once, twice and then she would turn to him asking if he could break down the door. He would released his lip from his teeth and give her a smile. "Of course I can, just stand back a little ways." He would move to the door looking it over, he would probably only have to use one hand to rip it off the hinges. So one hand would grab the door, he would firmly plant his feet on the ground and with an tug the door completely broke. "Ta da." He would awkwardly smile at Wen as he let her pass going into the room while he figured out what to do with the door he had broke.

Of course just like Wen, Liam's nostrils were sucker punched with that putrid vile smell. Unlike Wen he would just stop breathing he supposed being dead had it's perks and the need not to breath being one of them.

Liam had just found a place for the door when Elowen would come rushing back out of the room. The contents of her stomach spilling out as she coated the floor with them, eyes would shoot back to the room. What the hell did she see in there that caused her to get sick? Focus would be back on Wen as she grabbed onto his pants and continued to vomit.

He would bend down, rubbing her back softly. "It's okay let it out, you'll feel better when it's all said and done." He wouldn't ask what she saw within, clearly it was nothing good if it had caused this to happen and for her to tell him not to enter the room. Once she was done Liam would help her up and try and guide her as far away from the room as possible.
September 24, 2019 01:52 pm

Elowen Jocosta

The vile contents released from her gut, spewed across the floor until she was heaving with nothing left to spill from between her lips. The stench was a rancid as that of the room Wen had asked Liam not to enter. He didn’t need to go in, he didn’t need to be haunted by that image any more than she needed to be. Wen took a moment and rubbed thye back of her hand against her mouth before wiping her hand against her leg. She could do this.

Wen pushed herself from the floor, avoiding the spot on the ground where the contents of her stomach pooled.

She could do this.

Then she lashed out.

The palms of her hands smacked against the walls as an echoing wail of frustration built on her lips. Hands pounding into concrete as her feett joined the assault of the wall. How? How could a person do this to another human being? She didn’t know that man, she didn’t know his story. But she felt his pain, every night that he yelled for the freedom from his chains. Why didn’t she save him, she was so selfish, she was just as bad as they were. Elowen had left this man to starve and rot because she thought only of herself when she made her exit from the building.

She was as much to blame as the people that owned this property.

Her hands continued weighing into the wall until her palms were red and throbbing with pain. When she looked down to assess the damage there were tears in her eyes threatening to trail down her cheeks. But she didn’t have time to cry, she would do that later when she got home and curled into her bed. She would let it all out and she would let the emotion wash her away like sand on a beach.

It wasn’t time for that.

Wen lifted one of her shaking hands and pressed it to her chest, her fingers feeling the cool garnet stone beneath the fabric there, resting against her skin.

Control it.

Usually the words were spoken about her darkness, the vampire side of her that had brought her strife and pain. But she used those words to calm her humanity tonight, she couldn’t let these emotions overcome her, maybe she needed a little bit of that monster to harden her against the rest of the things she will see in this building.


Not while she couldn’t control it.

It was only under extreme circumstances that she could tap into that beast and have a sturdy reing on that which tampered with her sanity.  If she allowed herself to tap into that monster her thirst would take over and everything she hoped to gain on this venture would be lost.

Control it.

“Come on, I want to show you were they turned me into a goddamn vampire.”

September 26, 2019 08:11 pm

Liam Moore

Liam started to reach out but he stopped himself, he didn't want her to hurt herself be it even a little but maybe she needed this. She needed to let the anger out, if he stopped her what is to say she wouldn't bottle it up? Wouldn't try an act like she's alright just so he wouldn't worry?His nails would find there way into his palms as she continued to slam her hands into the wall again and again. Only when he saw the tears threatening to spill from her eyes did he move. He reached out not fully touching her, she may also need a bit of space.

His voice would be soft as he looked at her. "Wen?" What was he to say? That it would be alright? None of this was alright. That she would be okay? Yes she would but right now there was no way in hell she would be. And he was certain she didn't want to hear those words. He wouldn't in this situation.

Teeth would once again find his bottom lip as he watched her, he was uncertain of what she was doing. Of what he should be doing, in truth he felt so damn useless. He only hoped that his presence here would be enough for her, to provide her some sort of comfort. "Are your hands alright?"

He would turn his head to the side slightly as she said he next words. Where she was turned, where they had forced her to become something no one should ever be. Liam came to accept what he was but it didn't make it any less awful, his transformation was instant. He felt his organs shut down, his skin grow ice cold. He felt the thirst that could only be sated by a living beings blood, he watched the life drain out of his first victims eyes. The guilt still ate away at him, he knew Elowen was experimented on and giving this place he was horrified to learn more. He didn't want her to relive that memory, it was going to be so painful but once again he knew that she needed to. Didn't mean it would make this any easier.

But he would follow her, together they would be okay. That's what he said before he ever set foot into this place. Together they could face anything, he would offer her a smile and a nod. "Let's go."
September 28, 2019 10:57 am

Elowen Jocosta

Wen ignored his questions and comments. There was a new sense of determination flowing through her and she was ready to plow through this building and reenter the room that had captured her last few minutes as a human. She appreciated Liam, and she needed him there but this was about her, this was her horror to relive, this was her life that was cleaved in half and she wasn’t going to let her mind weaken while she go crawl into Liam’s arms so he just take her away from it all.

The girl lead him down the hall, the one that she had been carried down, her mind going in and out from the crack of her head against the door. She knew this path, all the ‘patients’ walked this path to the main lab for their weekly check-ins. It was long and narrow but would open into a room blindingly white. To the right was the door that led to the rows of doctor offices. The ones where they’d check your vitals and ask you questions about the effects of treatment.

The door to the left, the one that she didn’t remember ever walking through led to the experimentation room.

Its door was hanging on one hinge, leading into a shadowy room. A room that had once been filled with sun bright lights and machines that Wen couldn’t even dream of knowing their functions. It was clear that all power that had once been in this building was now gone because the machines that once buzzed and clicked with life were nothing more than tombstones of the events that happened in this room.

Whoever these people were, they left in a hurry. Just as her room had stayed the same, this too showed the picture of the last moments that occurred here.

Wen walked over to the table that’s straps had been torn from its base, dangling towards the floor. A tube stained with red discarded next to the machine that had pumped the liquid into Wen’s veins. Her fingers pushed against the table and drew away a small line of dust.

“I woke up strapped to this table.” She looked over her shoulder towards Liam. She knew that this place wasn’t for him, this wasn’t his memories that tortured his sleep but she still talked him through it all the same.

“I woke up and this tube was in my vein, pushing some foreign blood into my system. Vampire blood, though of course I didn’t know that. How could I?” She stepped away from the table and stepped over shards of glass and forgotten medical relics. Her eyes focused on the broken window of glass that stretched the length of one wall.

This was the room where they observed her, checking to make sure that whatever experiments they were trying to perform on the girl succeeded.

Stepping up to the broken mirror she peered into the room and saw the fallen bodies, the ones that she had lashed out at when she pulled herself free from her constraints.

“These are the first people I murdered.” She said pointing a finger into the room as she looked back up at Liam.

September 28, 2019 04:07 pm

Liam Moore

Liam shivered as he continued down the hall following Wen to god knows where. The silence that grew between the two only added to the eeriness of this god for saken place. He had nothing to say he had asked her a question and she ignored it, she had to have so much going through her mind.

Their foot steps echoed through the abandoned facility, hazel eyes looking here and there and somehow would always focus back on Elowen. All he could think of was how hard this is, how strong she was, how awful this place is. None of these thoughts were helpful, yet they kept flooding his mind.

Brows would knit together as he noticed the condition of the door, just what had happened in this place? What cause everyone to up and leave? For it to fall apart like this, part of him was thankful this was all shut down. But part of him believed that if any of the people who experimented on others got out alive likely there was somewhere like this. These people were mad, and mad people they never stop.

Liam had thought he felt sick to his stomach when he saw her room but seeing the machines, the dark liquid, the table, the straps. His eyes would remain on the table as she talked, he wouldn't pity her. But damn did he feel sorry for Elowen she had walked in here on her own, but no one deserved this. People make mistakes, sometimes go down the wrong path but this was too much.

He knew all too well what it was like to be restrained and changed, nothing like this horror but he shared a bit of Wen's pain in this. Liam followed her to the broken mirror looking and the dead bodies, he would take a deep breath before finally speaking.

"Elowen you can't blame yourself not for any of this. You didn't know what they were going to do to you, and you can't fight the thirst when you first change. But you got out and whoever you were here, you aren't her now. Elowen you are so damn strong, and not a day goes by where you don't amaze me."

He wasn't sure she would find comfort in his words but he spoke the truth, he admired her so much. "You aren't a monster...these people are. For everything they did and for what? Just thinking about it, it makes me so damn mad. They played with peoples lives for what? Entertainment? Research? I don't know what happened to the people here but I hope it was something unspeakable, they deserve it. No one should get to do this to people..."

He would look around the room once more before looking back to her. "I am so sorry you had to go through this all alone. I can't pretend I know your pain or even begin to imagine it, I can't say anything to make this all okay we both know it. And I've said it so many times but Wen but I am so proud of you for stepping into this place. You are truly so amazing."
September 28, 2019 07:08 pm

Elowen Jocosta

Wen looked about the room, looking away from the rotting bodies in the room beyond the broken glass. This place had haunted her for too long, every night when she laid down to rest the memories of this place circled around. Reminding her of what she was and what had happened to her.  She had let this place seep in and consume her as she wondered what happened here and why it happened. Now that she stood in the room there were no answers to be given. No one was around to tell her why or how. She was just as much in the dark as she was before.

Maybe now though she wouldn’t let this building cloud so much of her thoughts. The building was just bricks and dust and broken equipment. It wasn’t the monster in her story. That title was given to the people that thought they could just take people’s life away from them. Just like Liam had said, he didn’t know why these people did what they did but the ones laying dead deserved it.

No one gets to play god.

“I’m ready to go.” The girl standing in the rubble of her nightmares had seen enough. She needed to go back to her room and process all the things that she had seen here. Wen also needed time to her thoughts because there was something wicked building in the back of her head. Thoughts of revenge on the people that did this to her. People were already dead, she had ensured that to be their fate when she broke crazed from her bonds on the table. She had murdered them and their faces didn’t haunt her conscious.

The faces that kept her up at night were the innocent people on the streets that succumbed to her thirst. The people that crossed her path when she didn’t know what she was or that their blood was her siren call. Those were the faces that made her throat tighten in disgust at the beastly creature inside her head. When she woke up next to their drained bodies, throats ripped open as white eyes stared back at her in horror. Those are the people that she wanted to get revenge for.

“I was a nothing Liam. No friends, no job, working the streets and getting high. Maybe I deserved to die. Maybe my death wouldn’t be mourned. I wasn’t an upstanding citizen. I can accept that. I know why I was targeted. You can do whatever you want to people that no one will miss. But the people I’ve killed since then? They don’t deserve it. They did nothing but be in the wrong place at the wrong time. This can’t be it. This can’t be the only facility that takes advantage of people. I want them dead. All of them.”

Taking a step towards her friend she wrapped her arms around his torso and pulled him close for a hug.

“These people will pay.”

October 02, 2019 09:19 am
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