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Jameson Orlav


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Black Lord
Born: April 21, 2016 Forum Topics Started: 8
Race: Vampire Forum Posts / Replies: 112
Affiliation: Wahnsinn Mail Replies Sent: 5115
Home City: Moscow Mail Sent: 303
In Union With: Elouise Warrock Last Login:
Currently Online:
05/17/19 at 6:23 pm
Current Mood: Irritated 
You were successful in stealing $490.00 from Jameson Snorlav.

Wahnsinn Members
Shadwyn Drake, WildKat, Elouise Warrock, Sarah Noire
Special Items:
 Minion Horde Raiding Party Leader
Have you seen my Minion Raiding Party?
I love my Minion Raiding Party, but not all at once
My Minion Raiding Party can beat up your Minion Raiding Party
My Minion Raiding Party won't come back
My Minion Raiding Party stole all my clothes
Best RP June 2016
Savage Secret Santa - Christmas 2016
Best Couple Costume ~ Masquerade 2016
Best Male Costume ~ Masquerade 2016
A limited edition assortment of peanut butter Admin eggs - Easter 2017
Best RP April 2017
Best RP July 2017
2017 Winter Bloodies ~ Best Overall Character
2017 Winter Bloodies ~ Best Coven
2017 Winter Bloodies ~ Realm Batman
2017 Winter Bloodies ~ Most Eligible Bachelor
2018 Summer Bloodies - Best Coven
2018 Summer Bloodies - Best Overall Character
2018 Summer Bloodies - Best Roleplay
Blood Dagger commemorating the Bloodletting 12th Anniversary

Jameson Orlav's Biography

You were successful in stealing $51,620.00 from Victor Lockheed.
You were successful in stealing $59,076.00 from Dempsey Kasdeya.

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El Orlav
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Elouise Warrock

Cole Ward

Sarah Noire

Iria Visile

Victor Lockheed


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Black Beast

Caitlyn Darrow


King Of Nazareth

Raven Black


Cersei Lannister

Last five threads posted in:
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Created by Cersei Lannister
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Contests2017 Winter Bloodies Campaign
Created by Cersei Lannister
Contests2017 Summer Bloodies
Created by Cersei Lannister
Mackenzie 04/27/19 I love being your number one.
You are so sweet.
Kiss kiss, sweet boy.
Elouise Warrock 04/27/19 I love you.
Claire Thompson 04/13/19 -slight smirk-
Perhaps a little too hard.
But if that's the image you're trying to put out...
...far be it from me to judge.
Kade Thorne 04/13/19 Kade chuckled as the male dropped the head, picking it up he nodded. "Need some more help?" He questioned with a shrug.
Claire Thompson 04/12/19 -blinks-
-single brow arches-
Rumor has it?
-clicks tongue-
What does rumor have about you, I wonder.
Iria Visile 04/09/19 Iria had been laying low, trying to keep to herself and resist the natural urge to kill every living breathing thing in sight. She had been holed up in her room drinking the disgusting plasma bags to appease her appetite but there was something calling her name. The blood song was reaching its crescendo and the pain to resist its beckoning call was unbearable. The human part of her had been holding on for too long, but that good moral side of Iria was slowly slipping into purgatory and the vampric demon began its ascension. Flinging the covers from her bed Iria paced the room planning her decent into darkness, thinking about the pulsing blood hiding under the flesh of the innocent. Her body ached with desire as she could practically smell the crimson liquid from her memories. She needed to hunt, and she wanted company.

After slipping into something comfortable Iria set out for an old friend. He had disappeared but rumor had it he was back and growing his ranks again. She had yet to reach out to her old leader, but this bloody desire to murder was bringing up memories and she was curious if her former companion was still willing to hunt.

It seemed like hours dragged on until she finally came across his path. With a wicked twisted smile Iria approached the man and let the words fall from her lips. “You’re a hard man to find you know that? I was hoping you’d be interested in joining me for our favorite hobby.” The warm smile reached her eyes as she looked at the man in front of her hoping he was still as vicious as she had recalled.
Mackenzie 03/19/19 Jameson
How is that a question?
I gave you death.
Get on your knees.
Mackenzie 03/17/19 Jameson
You didn't wish me a happy f-cking day.
It's my f-cking day.
What is this sh-t?
Spring Summers 03/16/19 F*ck me you didn't ****ing choke on that ****ing Douche. What kind of bull **** name is Douchlav if you're not going to ****ing choke on a douche you chubby ****.
Ronan Boru 03/10/19 Congrats on the gold again Mr Orlav.
Sarah Noire 12/30/18 Время играть в доктора.
El Orlav 12/05/18 James
I thought I told you about her? Sometimes my mind gets a bit foggy. Don’t worry she’s much more conservative.
El Orlav 12/05/18 James
My sister found me. Don't eat her.
Mackenzie 12/04/18 Wee Robin
Someone is putting up missing posters of your pet.

Wee Robin
[Image attached]
El Orlav 12/03/18 Ella smiled down to the phone. The amorous intent fluttered with each bat of her eyelashes. She could never run away from a James completely. Because something always pulled her back to the spot she belonged.

Good. I’m glad. I’ll be there in twenty. Did they desecrate my painting?
El Orlav 12/03/18 Concealed by the dark shades over her eyes she glanced over her phone. Of course she could never refuse an offer. Ella was still determined that James was hers and hers alone.

Of course, love. Meat at the same place?
Gray Taylor 12/02/18 J. Orlav
I sincerely doubt anything could put a dent in that.
However, I am in the giving spirit.
Your wishes have been observed, and will be respected.
Iria Visile 12/01/18 Road Trip!

Gray Taylor 12/01/18 Gray had been placed in a position that left him feeling less than comfortable. Letters. He has sealed letters, and the man knows that each one contains Spring's last words. He knows she has bequeathed items to these people, and the only way to find out what goes where is to read them. But he can't.

Slowly, he would begin to send them out, his own personal notes tucked into the FedEx envelopes with Springs sealed last words. He can only imagine what might be inside, but he makes it clear that each recipient could reach out to him at the number provided to collect whatever was left to them.

No one would be allowed on the property in Moscow again.


Please choke on a ****ing pole you stupid gormless wanker ****wad. I, Spring Weed, leave you at the time of my ****ing exit a box of ****ing douches. Maybe you can grow some ****ing balls now and kill your skidmark family stealing parachute **** of a wife. Enclosed are the ****ing douches and a ****ing diaper you can breathe your ****ty ****ing breath into.

Spring Taylor.
Elouise Warrock 11/28/18 Why don't you come and find out for yourself?
Elouise Warrock 11/28/18 There could be plural.
Are you really that picky?
You did date me. And I'm not even insulting myself in saying that.
Elouise Warrock 11/28/18 No, that's what the stripper's for.
Elouise Warrock 11/28/18 I'll book a baby sitter.
Elouise Warrock 11/26/18 Does this mean we're not having sex?
Elouise Warrock 11/20/18 None of your fvcking business.
Mackenzie 11/13/18 Men? I’m flattered that you think I’m so popular.
What makes you think I have men in my life?
Have you met my Jasper?
Mackenzie 11/12/18 It's about time you came to visit, snookums.
Iria Visile 11/12/18 Iria watched as her coven leader moved before her, she could sense there was a slight thrill of excitement under his words but as she listened everything seemed to be so matter-of-fact. Still as he spoke she found herself riveted, hanging on to every word that he said. Iria liked to play games, she especially liked to play games that caused other people turmoil. It was the nature of who she was. Her hands clasped and unclasped a million times as she waited for his final words to be spoken. She practically jumped towards the man in eagerness when it was time for her to speak. Iria had been deprived of interaction with people like her for so long that the idea of working in tandem thrilled her.

“Agony.” She wanted to say a thousand things more but it was the only thing that came from her lips. Her throat now dry and scratchy from the building thirst.

Iria Visile 11/12/18 Unfortunately no, but I'm itching for a hunt.
Darcy Astor 11/08/18 Look, princess, I'd love to banter words with you all day, but I gotta find a minion. Sweet? +snorts+ My ass.
Iria Visile 11/03/18 Congrats on PotD my fearless leader.

Mackenzie 11/03/18 Robin
Pet, I cannot get you off my mind.
What did you do?
WildKat 11/03/18 Congrats on PotD!
Elouise Warrock 11/03/18 Nice ass, sweetheart.
Mackenzie 11/01/18 Excuse you, he bathes regularly.
And you know where I live.
We had such a good time down there.
You should visit.
Mackenzie 11/01/18 F-ck off. Yes I can.
And that is my Jasper.
I steal his clothes. It's fine.
Mackenzie 11/01/18 You are the worst. I hate you.
I demand you go back to your dungeon.
You're in time out.
And don't call me mummy.
Mackenzie 11/01/18 I'm going to murder you in your sleep.
Darcy Astor 10/29/18 +blinks+
+leans waaaay back+
OH. Wait. Is that why you're so salty? Having to be that Irish lady's minion? What do minions do exactly?
Darcy Astor 10/26/18 Hey, hey you! +is short, please don't runaway+ Is your name Jasper?
Mackenzie 10/12/18 Jameson
Your ex wife is terrorizing my people.
Where is her head?
Victor Lockheed 10/10/18 You witnessed Jameson Orlav attack Astrid!

Damn. Kind of punching below your weight class, aren't you?
*quickly tries to somehow morph this into a fat joke*
Pheenyx 10/10/18 Wrapped in matte black paper and tied with a blood red bow, a gift arrives on your doorstep. No note. No name. Just a vintage wax seal on the center of the bow, marked with an ornate 'P'.


Pheenyx 10/09/18 "You don't need to go fishing around in my pants for a dollar. I'm not stingy. What's left of my lunch is left in that dumpster back there. Have at it."

Jameson Orlav has just transferred $1.00 to your bank account.
Reason: You look hungry
Tuesday Oct 09, 2018 at 11:22 am

"I'm so sorry you don't have better things to do than to beat up a woman and then throw cash at her when you're feeling guilty." She takes the dollar out of her pocket and tucks it into his loose pants. "Maybe you should wear a belt and then people wouldn't feel like a quick grab into your pockets was easy. A fanny pack perhaps? Thanks though, for all your charitable generosity."

Saturday Oct 06, 2018 at 11:14 am
You witnessed Jameson Orlav attack Pheenyx!
Darcy Astor 10/07/18 Hell in a handbasket. +stares+ You are the one that seemed surprised that there was a price, guess we're going with stupid then. Besides, assumptions are made based upon past interactions. Not my fault ninety-nine percent of all people I meet are stupid.
Darcy Astor 10/07/18 Everyone always has a price. If you believe otherwise, you're either stupid or naive. Which are you?
Darcy Astor 10/06/18 Aww, sweetie, it'll cost you more than that.

You want a cheap tart, find the Irish woman, she seems your type.
Mackenzie 10/03/18 Wow. Wow.
You do love me.

You were successful in stealing $30,613.00 from Jameson Orlav.
El Orlav 09/19/18 James
there's an angry girl in my house. Sounds like she might have killed the Sailors. I'm hiding in a bush. She's terrifying.
Elouise Warrock 09/17/18 Why is your inability to not make a mess of your meals my problem?
-shrugs, flips through magazine-
Whatever. Don’t get blood on my Gucci shoes.
Mackenzie 09/14/18 You're my one and only child, Jameson. Are you getting jealous?
-Coos quietly-
Sweet thing.
Mackenzie 09/14/18 -Pulls face-
The f-ck does that mean?
Are you insinuating I smell poorly?
Cole Ward 07/27/18 "Did..ah... basement move? If this is machine, I shoot you."
Elouise Warrock 07/22/18 Jameson
Almost completely irrelevant... but someone every now and then returns...
Do you think garbage can get lonely?
I mean, no one wants to be around garbage. No one wants to be anywhere near garbage, really.
Maybe garbage is just insecure.
Elouise Warrock 07/22/18 Jameson
Have you seen trash laying around more than usual lately?
It just smells like total garbage.
El Orlav 07/22/18
Elouise Warrock 07/19/18 -tilts sunglasses-
-cranes neck-
Mackenzie 07/14/18 Robin
Don't tell me what to do. I'll take that head you promised me. Thanks.
Mackenzie 07/14/18 Robin
How are you, pet? Long time, no see. Hurts my heart.
Ciaran_M_Boru 07/13/18 -smiles and laughs a bit- I will Mr orlav and thanks for the welcome back.
Victor Lockheed 07/12/18
Elouise Warrock 07/11/18 Jim-Jam
I'm happy to switch it up.
I mean, you do all of the work anyways.
Elouise Warrock 07/11/18 Jim-Jam
You can suspect all you like, Sherlock. I gave him up, but feel free to beat me up however you'd like.
You know it's my kink.
Elouise Warrock 07/11/18 Jamie
Hell if I know.
Elouise Warrock 07/11/18 Jamie
I'd tap that.
Elouise Warrock 07/11/18 That ass is snack-adelic.
Camille 06/14/18
El Orlav 06/07/18 James
Delivering dinner is a labored task and clothes are a hinderance. Check with the dismembered left overs, please?
El Orlav 06/06/18 James
Have you seen my pink lacy bra?
Elouise Warrock 05/23/18 What the **** did you do?
Lesprit 05/23/18 A bottle of fine Irish whiskey, a new knife upkeep kit, and a box of Cuban cigars nestled in a basket found it's way onto his porch. A small gray card sat on top reading.

"Congratulations on profile of the day, Sir. May you enjoy your gifts while heartedly.
WildKat 05/23/18 Congrats on PotD!
Lesprit 04/25/18 Aurelia let her head cant to the side with a fluttering of eye lashes and an innocent expression.

"Keep what between us? I'm just sharing music with a friend."
Lesprit 04/25/18 Roughly an hour had passed before she was handing him the phone and an password protected hard drive. Her lips quirked into a smirk as she held it out with a simple statement.

"Password is Bauble. When you get done I'd like the drive back. I've got a collection of music on it. Just, when you get the chance."
Lesprit 04/25/18 Aurelia held out her hand for the phone, not looking up from the laptop in her lap. She pushed her glasses up her nose and tipped her head to look up at him. "Give me an hour and you'll have everything that has ever passed through this phone."
Elouise Warrock 04/25/18 Jameson

Blonde is best.

chat disconnected
Elouise Warrock 04/25/18 Jameson

"That b-tch? Dead as a doornail, obviously. I think we can all agree Remi was worse, though."
Elouise Warrock 04/25/18 Jameson

Oh. My. God.
Emerson's diary?! How whiny is it?
Elouise Warrock 04/25/18 Jameson
Go right ahead.
It's just a documentation of all of the times I didn't reciprocate head. You'll enjoy the tally. It's four pages long. 😘
Elouise Warrock 04/24/18 Jameson
I remember.
Elouise Warrock 04/24/18 Jameson
Nice ass.
Mackenzie 04/20/18 Robin
Mackenzie 04/16/18 What the actual f-ck are you talking about?
Estelle Kingston 04/10/18 Text to: Leader Guy
In that case, please do. I dare you.
Take pictures.
Estelle Kingston 04/10/18 Text to:Leader Guy
Sounds dreamy.
She is my wifey, so the freedom to visit is great.
Pro tip: don't give her any giant teddy bears.
Estelle Kingston 04/10/18 Text to: Good Job
Fresh bodies every day?
You have a dungeon? I miss ours. Is that an invitation?
Estelle Kingston 04/10/18 Text to: Leader Guy
I hope you're being nice to my wifey.
Mackenzie 04/08/18 Your coven is in a Samctuary. Get it together.
Mackenzie 04/06/18 You’re right. You failed to visit me for some time. That’s very different. You wound me.
Elouise Warrock 03/31/18 Third Husband
You never did understand a booty call.
Elouise Warrock 03/31/18 Second Husband
You wanna come over and not joke about sex in a few different positions?
Mackenzie 03/30/18 Robin
Feck. Those idiots sound like French tinkers. You have sh-t taste. Go to Belfast. Much more fun there.
Mackenzie 03/30/18 Robin
I heard you miss me. So sweet.
Victor Lockheed 03/30/18 Sugart!ts
Probably. But those Irish girls are tasty, you know? It's hard to help yourself.
But you'd better. Not even for my sake dude, for yours.
Victor Lockheed 03/30/18 Buttercup
I console myself by remembering that you continue to exist on the whim of a delightfully volatile Irishwoman.
Victor Lockheed 03/30/18 Cupcake
How's death treating you so far?
Elouise Warrock 03/28/18 First Husband
Is this a sex joke?
Mackenzie 03/17/18 Czechrish
I demand you dress as a leprechaun today.
Mackenzie 03/09/18 Robin
Goes by The Reverend. No idea on his real name.
Ran into him in New York.
Be careful and don't get caught. He will kill you.
Mackenzie 03/08/18 Vic's Gift
I need you to look into someone for me.
Elouise Warrock 03/06/18 Gaymeson
Willing to bet money it was Jason.
Elouise Warrock 03/04/18 Jamie
Who else have you worn them for?!
Elouise Warrock 03/02/18 Jameson
Do you still wear Ladie's underwear?
El Orlav 02/09/18 ~Ella turns to face James with a bemused expression, ‘’Whom are we talking about?’’ She honestly has no idea. Did he mean Giddy? Because absolutely not. That would force her Lufcuh away and she couldn’t have that. She stands from her chair walking over to squat in front of the sofa, her head curiously canted to the side. ‘’I’ve seen more pledges enter the basement lately. That’s good’’ She concluded. After all they were a sort of harmonious team. ~
Mackenzie 01/20/18 If I tell you to put on the costume, you're going to put it on.

Put it on.
Elouise Warrock 01/09/18 I'd hit that.
Elouise Warrock 01/08/18 Big Boi
Time and place, handsome.
Elouise Warrock 01/08/18 Daddy
Let's murder some virgins and wrestle in a pool of their blood.
El Orlav 01/08/18 ~*~ Vid reply~*~

Elouise Warrock 12/01/17 Jameson
Yes, b*tch.
Elouise Warrock 11/27/17 Jameson
Sarah Noire 11/12/17 Sarah stood in front of the man, arms folded with the scalpel twirling between her fingers. This wasn't how she planned things, but when someone murders both your children. Certain measures must be taken. All the toys in her dungeon were released into the realm, and who knew what that meant. Skittish transients. Demented serial killers. The possibilities were endless. Because the toys in her dungeon lacked the soul they needed to live their mundane lives productively.

"Da." The reply made her devilish lips tug into a disturbing smirk. Oh, the things she could do in a dungeon were magical.

She remembered the man in front of her vaguely. He has made a transition since she lost herself into her work. Now he was on the right side of the war.

"I hope you like the sounds of tortured screams and the smell of anxious perspiration."
Victor Lockheed 11/11/17
El Orlav 11/11/17 James
Did 'Death' come for you, too?
El Orlav 10/11/17
El Orlav 10/01/17 James
Why don't I just come down there for some fun?
El Orlav 10/01/17 James
You eat mammals. OK. Let me rephrase. If someone hurts Hank, they're going to be tossed down the basement to you.
El Orlav 10/01/17 James
Don't eat my new puppy, Hank.
Elouise Warrock 09/30/17 Jameson
Want to get naked?
El Orlav 09/27/17 James
Lloyd Darrow invited me. Do you want to come?
El Orlav 09/25/17 James
If I go to London, will you behave?
Elouise Warrock 09/20/17 Jameson
I'll be in the bar where you first told me you loved me.
You remember it, don't you?
Swing by if you want to settle that appetite.
Elouise Warrock 09/20/17 Jameson
Jealous, are we?
Elouise Warrock 09/20/17 Jameson
What are we doing for our anniversary?
Mackenzie 09/18/17 Orlav
Where's my head?
El Orlav 09/16/17 James
Want a midnight snack? ;) I just have to stop in my room first.
El Orlav 09/16/17 James
Are you home?
Elouise Warrock 09/15/17
Elouise Warrock 09/07/17 Jameson
He isn't yours.
Elouise Warrock 09/06/17 Jameson
Come near my son and I'll kill you.
Zero hesitation.
Mackenzie 08/31/17 Jameson
The Basement? Aptly named.
Clever boy. Protecting what matters.
Quinn Abernathy 08/31/17 She has no idea what he is talking about. Quinn listens, fidgeting with the bag in her hands. Distrust is written all over her, and she cannot help but feel a ration of fear overcome her. Still, she keeps it up, stepping forward to block the way to the basement with her body. It's a gentle, unassuming movement. Not meant to be threatening but clearly also something of a statement.

"I don't know who you are," she murmurs. There is no way he belongs here. Ella would have said something. "No one goes in the basement. It's a rule."

One more sidestep, and the knob to the door is at her back. She does not recognize him, partly because she had never been moved to know him.

"Who let you in?"
Quinn Abernathy 08/31/17 She went to the house for some sugar. Quinn wanted nothing more than warm, sweet cup of coffee. It is simply one of those days. Fall is just around the corner, and while New Orleans is miles away from the climate of the Northeast, she would still enjoy the finer things that came with the season.

She rounds the corner, a constant smile upon her face, when she sees him. He creeps toward the basement door, and Quinn swears he looks just as unwell as she feels when she sees the man. A stranger, in their home. Forcibly brave, she pipes up. Quinn is terrified of the man, and she simply does not know why.

"Excuse me... are you lost?"
Elouise Warrock 08/30/17 Jameson
I'll find out. And then I'll find you.
Elouise Warrock 08/29/17 Jameson
Where are you, handsome?
Mackenzie 08/16/17 Don't forget want that head.
I have big plans.
Caitlyn Darrow 08/13/17
El Orlav 08/13/17 James
I'll catch a cheap red eye. Where do you want to meet?
Elouise Warrock 08/13/17
Always gonna love you.
Mackenzie 07/21/17 Mackenzie sat upon the roof of the building opposite Jameson's chosen hiding place. The girl had kept her watch on him, curious to see what he would do. He did not disappoint. First, his sister showed up. Then, another man. And there he was, her little creation, struggling. She loves it. Catching sight of him through the undressed window, the girl smirks.
Elouise Warrock 07/20/17 [Incoming Text
Noura and Jason get to know before me?
I killed everyone on my way to find you.
I burned down my world for you, Jameson Orlav.
Tell me where you are.
Elouise Warrock 07/20/17 -sprays with Windex-
-wipes away-
Elouise Warrock 07/06/17 *1 new voicemail*
'Your phone is dead. I know that. I don't know if you'll ever hear this......Come home, Jameson. I'm not strong enough to do this on my own. I'm not interested in raising this child without you......Please come home, babe. I did some things. Things I'm not proud of......I love you. I will always love you. Please don't blame me for what I have to do......Come home before it's too late. Please.
Elouise Warrock 07/03/17 Jameson
Come home to me.
Elouise Warrock 05/07/17 Prince Quinoa
Remember when you picked pulp out of my nose?
And spaghetti bombed my room?
And our matching onesie parties? were such a little sh*t, ohemgee.
Elouise Warrock 04/13/17 Otto Octavius
Jason and (maybe?) Noura are coming over.
Oh! And this guy says hey.

Love you. :)
El Orlav 04/13/17 That sounded nefarious.
Elouise Warrock 03/02/17
I'm European now. I bet you didn't even recognize me.
Elouise Warrock 02/19/17 Dr. Thirst Trap
STOP replacing my prenatal vitamins with strip steaks.
This baby is going to Hulk smash it's way out of my womb at this rate.
Elouise Warrock 02/14/17 Jameson
There's a 25 year old bottle of Macallan in your office.
Happy Valentine's Day, babe. I love you best.
Elouise Warrock 01/30/17
Camille 01/30/17 Idiot
I just bought your unborn baby at a remarkable price. Cheers!
Elouise Warrock 01/19/17 ...because I love you, you assh*le. Don't you appreciate that I can occasionally be sentimental?!
Elouise Warrock 01/17/17 Just checking.
Do you think I'm a selfish person?
Like mean selfish?
Elouise Warrock 01/17/17 -tsk's-
No, Jameson, my favorite thing is being with you.
The other stuff is background noise.
Plus, clubbing is totally useless without cocaine.
Elouise Warrock 01/17/17 -wide eyes-
Ooooh. Wait. Gross.
Why do you sext me so much?!
Elouise Warrock 01/16/17 [New Snapchat]
Elouise Warrock 01/16/17 Jameson
Thanks for the pancakes this morning. 😍
...and for cleaning up my pancake puke. 😷
Elouise Warrock 01/12/17
Elouise Warrock 01/11/17 -furrows brow-
Listen, I think I know what a booty call is. I just got the definition fifteen minutes ago from the Internet. And the internet never lies.
-clears throat, looks around-
...groceries? Are you food-flirting with me?!
Elouise Warrock 01/11/17 Dr. Handsome
I didn't do anything.
I just need to borrow you for approximately 45 minutes.
Elouise Warrock 01/11/17 Lameson
Do you have your lab coat, and glasses? You're also gonna need a stethoscope.
Elouise Warrock 01/10/17 Husband AF
Never. You're the only one who gets to see any of this.

Husband AF
...and all those tacos are showing. So you're DEFINITELY the only person.

Husband AF
Aren't you the lucky one?
Elouise Warrock 01/09/17 Fitzhusband
You've been beside me the whole damn time.
Elouise Warrock 01/09/17 -pauses Netflix from the other room-
-reads text-
Come back to me.
Elouise Warrock 01/07/17 Bearded Babe
Why did you always run around naked as a child?
And Noura says you were a puss.
...well, she didn't, but she kinda did. It makes sense.
Elouise Warrock 01/07/17
Elouise Warrock 01/06/17 [New Snapchat]

Currently wearing my favorite Christmas present.
Ice cream for dinner?
Elouise Warrock 01/06/17 Jameson
You are the most loving, selfless person I know. You are honest, and kind, and intelligent. And I love you.
And, your sister is a troll.
Elouise Warrock 01/05/17 Cutest Hub-o Ever
You’ve mistaken me for someone who is ashamed of any picture of myself.
Did you dress yourself for this picture day?
Is Borlav going to be this cute?
[img attached]
Elouise Warrock 01/05/17 Babe Sauce
If it's any consolation, I would have banged you with those glasses too. And the bad haircut.
Elouise Warrock 01/05/17 007
Wow, babe, you didn’t tell me you had such a great sense of style back then too!
Nice haircut. 😘
[img attached]
Elouise Warrock 01/05/17 Groupchat: The Order
[img attached]
Elouise Warrock 01/04/17 Jameson
I'm keeping Jason safe from your sister's vagina magic.
This is an epidemic! You're a doctor, do something!
Elouise Warrock 01/03/17 [New Snapchat]

Pocket-sized Jameson’s! ...I have too much free time on my hands.
Elouise Warrock 01/01/17 😍👶Baby Daddy👶😍
If you're my brother, how messed up is this kid gonna be?
Elouise Warrock 12/31/16 Jameson
(via Air-fi)
I'm more concerned about whether or not you bring tacos.
...and kissing your stupid, handsome face.
Elouise Warrock 12/29/16 Jameson
No one is here to braid my hair.
Or sing the toothbrush song.
And your sister is snapchatting me.
Are you having fun?
[img attached]
Elouise Warrock 12/25/16 Elouise loved Christmas. It was never about the exchanging of presents. In fact, she couldn’t remember a single Christmas worth remembering before today. But it was the holiday – the many things it meant, and it always held the promise of something she knew she would have one day.

A family.
And Jameson was more than she could have ever hoped for.

She had spent many years waiting for the Christmas morning she could wake up and shower someone in presents. Thoughtful gifts. Lavish packaging. Ribbons and bows and wrapping paper. She may have gone a little overboard as well. Instead of answering, the sound of wrapping paper scraping the floor sounds. A few stacks of boxes collapse through the doorway, followed by his wife, clad in her Santa-themed PJs. “Merry Christmas, handsome.” Her mouth splits in a toothy grin, childish amusement alight in her blue eyes.

Using slippered feet, she kicks a few smaller boxes closer to him, several more in her arms. Beautiful ties, scarves, hats and gloves, even a new pair of shoes. However, Elouise put the most thought into the final gift he would open. A scrapbook, filled with pictures of the two of them, no detail spared in the decorations. He might even begin to wonder how she ever got her hands on some of the pictures she’d included, but, she would never admit to a source.

Maybe she had entirely too much time on her hands, but it really boiled down to the one simple fact. She loved this man, and she wanted to give him a gift full of sentiments.

Once all of his boxes were in order, she promptly pauses, turns towards him, and leaps at him. Arms wrung around his neck, she presses a kiss to his neck. “I love you.” A quiet whisper, spoken with evident meaning. The holidays were never about presents, but about company. And she knew how lucky she was to have him.
Elouise Warrock 12/19/16 As he sits down beside her, she sucks in a deep breath. She isn’t ready for doubt. In fact, if it came from him, Elouise wouldn’t know how to handle it. She was already panicking in her own way, second guessing her capabilities.

Is this real? You really are?

The blonde begins to voice a response, but she’s pinned back to the floor, one heavy, ecstatic husband weighing her down. At his reaction, her uncertainty washes away. With Jameson, she knew she could handle anything. Even a tiny Satan inhabiting her uterus for nine months.

Jameson. Can’t. Breathe.” She huffs, hands prodding his sides for emphasis. After so much languishing, she finally sighs, offering her husband a small, yet nevertheless genuine smile. “A baby.” She whispers the last word as if they’ve just discovered a long-lost, hidden treasure.

“...can we name it Flamethrower?”
Elouise Warrock 12/16/16 Strewn out on the carpet, the Doctor’s wife waits patiently for him to return. Normally, she would continue to bombard him with messages until he gained a sense of urgency, but she wasn’t in a rush at the current moment. Instead, dull blue eyes focus on the ceiling fan, phone in one hand, an obscured object in the other.

As he enters, she gives him a gentle kick with her sock. “Down here.” She props herself up on her elbows, an unreadable expression worn. “You might want to sit down.” As Elouise speaks, she is pulling her knees to her chest, arms wrapped around them. “…because I have to tell you something.”

Her hand shoots out, revealing the pregnancy test that rested in her hand. The word, printed clearly on the screen was then uncovered. Pregnant.
Elouise Warrock 12/16/16 A blue eye cracks open, finding the alarm clock with blurred ambition. She lets out a groan, knowing it was too damn early to be functioning. Why had she woken up?

This. This was why. Bare feet scramble for the bathroom, soon level with her knees as she heaves the contents of last night’s dinner into the porcelain throne. Cheerios and Cheez-Its. Why had she drank so much the night prior? It was rare she was ever so sick when hungover.

And that would all make sense, if she had had even a drop of alcohol. Realization hits Elouise like a bus. No, it had to be food poisoning. It was absolutely too soon for this to be happening. Or, was it? That one time, a few weeks ago, the scotch…

Sh*t. This wasn’t anything definitive. The blonde wasn’t the brightest bulb on the tree, but she was smart enough to know there were any number of reasonable explanations for nausea.

Until, of course, those reasonable explanations got shot out of a f*cking cannon into space. Staring at the blank screen of her phone, she opens her husband’s contact, typing and retyping the eventual message:

I know you’re at the lab already, but I need you to come back. Please.
No pranks, I promise.
Elouise Warrock 12/15/16 Jameson
Elouise Warrock 12/15/16 Jameson
Who is she?!
Elouise Warrock 12/15/16 Jameson
Who are you looking at?
Elouise Warrock 12/15/16 Jameson
What are you doing?
Elouise Warrock 12/15/16 Groupchat: The Order
Here is a beautiful mosaic of one big Jameson, made up of a bunch of smaller Jamesons.
All Hail.
Elouise Warrock 12/15/16 Placing the final sticky lace against the canvas, Elouise steps back to admire her handy work. Every solitary shoelace in their room belonging to him was now pasted to the easel in front of her, covered in glue and glitter. His shoes were lined in neatly in front of their bed, each filled to the brim with shaving cream.

His ties were stapled to the ceiling, hanging down in glorious, colorful banners. His pillowcase was stuffed with potato chips, and his socks were filled with baby powder. And the pièce de résistance? Tomato sauce in all of the cleaning supply bottles. Finished with her work, she digs out her phone.

Dr. Babe
Emergency. Come to suite ASAP.
Elouise Warrock 12/12/16 To: babe o’clock
From: loyal servant
Coming right up just as soon as I’m done putting these everywhere!
[img recieved]
Elouise Warrock 12/10/16 [text message]:
I've thought a lot about it, and I've decided we have to procreate.
Any questions?
Elouise Warrock 12/09/16 If you weren't good looking I would divorce you.
Camille 12/08/16 Your wife said that you can have a hooker for Christmas. Happy holidays!
Elouise Warrock 12/06/16 “You're my whole life.” She inhales a shaky breath, fingers fidgeting with her wedding band once more. She was fearful, threatened. He was her home, and Noura could rock the foundation very easily. “Little faith? Don't you get it, by now?” The blonde runs a hand through her hair, brushing back the wild curls.

“I'm always going to be the more loving one, Jameson. And that is going to make me fanatical. I'm not like you. I'm not slow to anger. I don't know how to handle…” Life. That's why she did what she did. The more dulled her senses, the easier it seemed to handle things. But seeing as how the night prior had gone, she needed new coping methods.

She clears her throat, a petite, manicured hand reaching out for him, resting against the fabric of his shirt if he allowed. “I'm here for you. I always will be. Noura isn't going to change that.”
Elouise Warrock 12/04/16 [Snapchat Sent]

Being sober sucks. So do you.
Elouise Warrock 12/03/16 [text reply]:
I swear to God, if you bring home anything with floral print I'm divorcing you.
Elouise Warrock 12/01/16 [Snapchat Sent]

Screw kale! I've got bevvies and ciggies and I'm waiting for you.
Miryam 11/24/16 Jameson Orlav just stole $0.00 from you!

There she was minding her own business when she felt unwelcomed hands upon her person. With a hiss she turned just in time to see the culprit before he could make his getaway but this wasn’t a stranger and she knew that face. It didn’t take long for her to seek him out, chasing after him until she finally caught up to him. However instead of touching him she merely let her look of disdain do a majority of the talking though she did speak.

”If you needed booze money all you had to do was ask. Then again in my current state I’m not so sure that wouldn’t come without a risk of infection. Better think twice before you try such a daring feat again.”
Elouise Warrock 11/22/16 -falls off-
Sarah Noire 11/15/16
Jesus. They're letting anyone get gold membership these days. I hope your market crashes. Maybe I'll see you in the dungeons.
Caitlyn Darrow 11/15/16 .. Can I change my middle name? It's too normal compared to the both of you.
Caitlyn Darrow 11/15/16 *laughs nervously*
Of course it wasn't Elly!.. *chokes on saliva*
Caitlyn Darrow 11/15/16 Jameson Kingston Orlav!
Amethyst 11/14/16 Congrats on the gold
Ronan Boru 11/14/16 Congrats on your golden robes.
Elouise Warrock 11/13/16 To: bbygurl
From: wife
I got bored waiting last night so I did laughing gas instead.
[video message received]
Elouise Warrock 11/12/16 To: The Husband
From: The Wife
Babe. BABE. May have just sold your soul. So sorry.
I can put on the nurse costume tonight to make up for it?
Elouise Warrock 11/11/16
Elouise Warrock 11/11/16 -pokes-
If Caitlyn has a baby, does that mean we have to too?
Caitlyn Darrow 11/11/16 *big eyes*
Ok. I just have to remind myself there's no crying in Baseball, I mean birthing.
Caitlyn Darrow 11/10/16 *ugly sobs*
He wants out.
Caitlyn Darrow 11/10/16 @!££€&^#?!!££¥€£!£*@!!!!! Translation~ Now b1tch, Now.
Elouise Warrock 11/09/16 Elouise slips into his room, drunk, disappointed, maybe even distraught. Quietly, she slips into his arms, pressing her face against his neck.

It didn't need to be said. In a world with so much vitriol and hate, love was that much more important.
Mackenzie 11/07/16
Mackenzie 11/07/16 One must compliment good behavior, don't you agree?
Keep it up. There's more where that came from.
[wink wink]
Mackenzie 11/07/16 You're a useless tw-t of a man.
Consider that.
Elouise Warrock 11/07/16
I love you, you stupid geek.
Elouise Warrock 11/07/16
You're a pretty good husband.
..just in case you didn't know.
Elouise Warrock 11/07/16 To: ex-hubby
From: ex-wifey
I hope you and Solomon are very happy together.
As happy as one can be with a corpse. :-)
Elouise Warrock 11/06/16
mist 11/04/16 *Perhaps trying it when this witch isn't on line...*Gives a witcher look* And besides this witch don't carry candy however i do carry pumpkin seeds they make one invisible laughs*
Elouise Warrock 10/28/16 -stumbles into his room-
-wielding a knife-
You flushed my weed!
Elouise Warrock 10/28/16 Fine.
-squints at-
Jameson. When did you get so handsome?!
-squishes cheeks-
Camille 10/28/16 -scoffs-
She drugged herself, Jameson. She's a grown woman.
Elouise Warrock 10/27/16 -reads text-
-turns on phone tracker-

Caitlyn Darrow 10/27/16 *screams*
*throws remote at*
shifty eyes*
...ohai Jameson. It's in the fridge with Ellie's cake she made. Can you be a dear and bring her back that one too?
Elouise Warrock 10/26/16
Elouise Warrock 10/22/16 -finds-
-attaches self to leg-
-sits on foot-
Bet you can't walk with me on your leg!
Elouise Warrock 10/19/16 -big smile-
Ooookay, I finish the story.
-deep breath-
Elouise didn't trust anybody but Jameson kept saving her.
And then she finally noticed his cute butt and gave him a shot
She realized brown hair was okay and then he kissed her and even evil Emerson couldn't change her mind about him.
So she shared her movie time and pillows and blankets and snuggles. And she loved him forever and ever, and was really glad it only took him like five months to realize what a total catch she was.
-big kiss-
Okay, ice cream! I want lotsa whipped cream.
... and I'll pay.
Elouise Warrock 10/19/16 -sneaks up behind-
-smacks cheek-
Camille 10/19/16 I don't pay you to take orders from that terrorist wife of yours.
I pay you to take orders from me!
Mackenzie 10/18/16
Jaysus f-cking Christ. Can a girl have a goddamn vacation without some stinking bag of flesh groping her arse and tugging at her bag?
Elouise Warrock 10/18/16 To: lovey hubby
From: mambo no. 5
You’re about to get me, and alla dis.
We’re dancing until someone dies!
And Emerson says I have a dry... a... I don't remember.
You'll have to ask her!
[video received]
Elouise Warrock 10/18/16 -gasp-
I was only doing it to drive Emerson crazy!
You're my favorite husband and my only husband I'll ever have from now until fooooooorever!
Elouise Warrock 10/18/16 To: snuggly hubs
From: best wife
For the record, I would love you even if you didn’t have tacos or tequila.
… I would probably just love you less.
[img received]

Elouise Warrock 10/16/16 {text reply]:
I wasn't sure if I loved you before, but I definitely do now.
We have to get extra napkins, though. I don't you getting any ice cream on the sexy fireman costume you'll have to wear!
Elouise Warrock 10/16/16 [text reply]:
I can't have you ruining my date tonight!
If he's a bad kisser, I'll totally give you the address.
But from what I remember... he isn't. :)
Elouise Warrock 10/13/16 A grin tugs at her lips as she leans over, resting her chin on his shoulder as she gazes up at him. "Does this mean we get to go shopping?" Her mouth forms an 'o' of wonderment. "More blankets, and pillows and beanbags." She flashes her teeth in an even wider smile.

"Details? Tellmetellmetellmetellme!" The blonde shifts closer, arms snaking around his midsection. "...can we get a lava lamp?!"
Elouise Warrock 10/13/16 Elouise doesn’t seem to be too disgruntled by being thrown onto the bed. Mostly because he was ordering her food, but also because of those four words that meant so much. After he hangs the phone up, she scoots to the edge of the bed.

“Maybe we should move into a bigger room, and just have some of your stuff, and some of mine. Except it would be ours. No more your room or my room.” Compromise, she was trying.
Elouise Warrock 10/13/16 "Yeah... they pity me for putting up with you." She replies plainly, without a hint of sarcasm. She then presses a kiss against his neck. "It's okay, though. I love you enough to ignore them."
Elouise Warrock 10/13/16 Elouise takes on an expression of mock offense. “What if I just want to be sweet?” She huffs, now seemingly actually offended. But then she lowers her head, resting it in the crook of his neck, and she appears to calm back down.

“That works out in my favor though, because I tell people you beat me so they’ll pity me and give me what I want.” She looks around with shifty eyes. “Please don’t hit me again, Jameson, I’ll make sure dinner is ready at five-thirty sharp from now on!” She states, projecting her voice with exaggeration. Afterwards, she lets out a devious little snicker.
Elouise Warrock 10/13/16 She taps her chin. "...Chinese?" A big smile prevails, before she leans in. A hand reached up, squishing his cheeks together before she plants a brief kiss on his lips. "Or tacos again. I went for a run today, I earned it."

Elouise meets his gaze, brow furrowed. "And yes, I did actually run." Falling silent again, she rubs her nose against his, an Eskimo kiss. "I sorta, kinda, maybe love you... now, food. Yes, you have to carry me, and yes you have to feed me. Don't act like you make the rules."
Caitlyn Darrow 10/13/16 Text to: Doctor strange
From: Redder Red
I'm alright now. This nice hobo man closed an icky wound of mine with dental floss and gum. Should it still be bleeding? Should I go ask for my $500 back?
Elouise Warrock 10/11/16 That seems like more of a you problem. I'm gonna go streaking!
Elouise Warrock 10/11/16 To: Sux2BU
From: Keeping the Dog
His name is Princess Buttercup, and he doesn't mind hazy eyes and sneezing. You'll get used to it!
Elouise Warrock 10/10/16 The blonde presses a grin against his chest, nodding shortly thereafter. "Shepard's Pie sounds good... just not made of me." With a quiet laugh, she presses her chin against him and tilts her head back to look up at him.

"How about you go and find your glasses, and I'll show you how sorry I am?" She pauses, sniffs him, and realizes he may be just too intoxicated. "Or we'll save that for tomorrow." She gives him a consoling pat. "Wouldn't want you to forget, because I'm a one night only show."
Elouise Warrock 10/08/16 Elouise stands in the room long after he had left, blank blue eyes focused upon his loving creation. The teasing had started out in absolute innocence. And she had assumed he knew her tactics. Never had she considered he may have been hurt, especially until this very day, parenthood had been a joke. Flat children, zombie children, all a game.

Padding over to the hand-carved bassinet, she ran her hands over the frame, before sinking down beside it, head pressed against it as she eased herself into the thought that he might not come back.

And if he did come back, would he still want her? Procuring her phone, she went to check his location, but discovered for whatever reason, his signal did not come through. Crossing her legs, she lets out a sigh.

And now, she waits.
Elouise Warrock 10/07/16 To: Naked and Afraid
From: Apex Predator
When I find you, I will kill you.
Elouise Warrock 10/05/16

“You’re pretty too.” She snickers, looking at his pathetic expression, eyes rolling. She ignores him long enough to fill the pot with water and turn the burner back on, before she glides into him, hitting him with minimal force. Her arms wrap around his midsection, and soon enough she’s granting him a brief kiss.

“Now, I’m going to let you in on a little secret, darling, don’t be alarmed.” Hazy, reddened eyes met his. “You’re high. I didn’t poison you, neither did Camille. Those brownies were never meant for general consumption.”

She nuzzles her face against his chest, finding the texture of his shirt undeniably comfortable. Shewashighokay. “I’m glad I married you toooo,” she coos, squeezing him a big tighter then. “Food. Now I need food.” And she’s detached from him, flying towards the cabinets with intent. And the woman knows exactly what she’s looking for. Tucked behind a box of cornflakes…

Voilà! Double chocolate chip cookies, soft baked. She carries the packaged tray over, setting it on the counter before him. It was the Holy Grail of munchie foods. And the good wife she was, she offered them to him.
Elouise Warrock 10/05/16 The app carried her from her room through the maze of hallways. He was on the move, then the signal ended in…

The kitchen.

Perfect, since she was starving herself. Her tongue jutted out to wet her lips, suddenly aware of how dry her mouth was then. Her cheeks sucked in and puffed out as she shuffled along, dressed in… his Superman onesie. No wonder the legs and sleeves were much too long.

She entered the kitchen to find Jameson attempting to cook. “Babe,” she scoffed, lurching over to the stove to shut it off.

It appeared to her that he was trying to boil pasta for mac ‘n cheese, but there was no water in the pot. “Go sit down before you hurt yourself… I’ll make the munchies.” A smirk was plastered to her face, one that failed to go away in his presence. It was beyond her to see him in such a state.

She had a classic level one lituation on her hands.
Elouise Warrock 10/05/16 Closed into her room for some much needed respite, Elouise sat on her floor, stereo blaring… Coldplay? Oh, Elouise. So many better choices to be made.

She had left Jameson in his bed, or so she had thought. The poor, poor lightweight. Of course the blonde was up to her usual afternoon antics. Mimosa, marijuana, mood music. In the silence between songs, a melodic tone carries through the silence – and the smoke.

Her voicemail.

Scrambling through the wafting clouds of gray, pungent smoke, she discovers her phone, discarded near her bed, and a half-eaten bag of Fritos. She crawls over to pause the music, the interlude having led into… Marvin Gaye? The woman needed better playlists.

After listening to the playback and having a side-aching laugh, she stumbles to her feet. Where was this man of hers?

Her brow furrows as she focuses intently on the screen, making sure her text was precise enough.

To: Bob Marley
From: Mary Jane
I’ll come find you. Just… stay put.

Little did he know, she had his phone low-jacked.
Camille 10/05/16 -stares at, clears throat-
I have no idea what you're talking about.
....How did you get those?
Elouise Warrock 10/04/16 ...if I'm not being punished, does this mean we're getting ice cream?
Caitlyn Darrow 09/30/16
Elouise Warrock 09/29/16 -rolls eyes-
But, this husband had a very cute butt and was hard to resist, and so she dealt with his childish tendencies and they lived happily ever after, 80 percent of the time.
Elouise Warrock 09/29/16 -scowls-
-starts to object-
-smothered instead-
-big sigh-
-wraps arms around-
Once upon a time, there was a man with a very big ego, who far overestimated his wife's patience and affections...
Elouise Warrock 09/29/16 -still laughing-
I'm not bullying you! Just...
Okay, yes, I'm bullying you.
Do you want to know my middle name?
-squeezes midsection-
Caitlyn Darrow 09/29/16
Elouise Warrock 09/28/16 -blink-
-eye twitch-
I'm gonna go kick her a-s. That booty is mine.
-shifty eyes-
-fondles behind-
Elouise Warrock 09/26/16 To: Smoky Bear
From: ilikefire
I would never set you on fire. And if you see Emerson with a lighter, run.
Camille 09/23/16 Stop making people cry. That is not what I employ you for.
Elouise Warrock 09/23/16 To: No Bueno
From: Tequila Death
I want divorce and some coffee. Also, I found the booby trap in the bathroom, but not until it was too late. I hate you.
Elouise Warrock 09/22/16 Text:
To: Beautiful Princess Jamie
From: Potato Face
One of the strippers looked a lot like Jason... but the lap dance was really cheap!
Elouise Warrock 09/22/16 Text:
To: Lameson Morlov
From: Princess Quinoa

You can’t just kiss a girl and run off. Some might call that rude. Also, I take it this means you have no interest in being a bridesmaid in Emerson and I’s wedding. And I’m not a cheater, so, it appears that may have been our last kiss. Have a fun night!
Elouise Warrock 09/22/16 As he brandished his glasses, a grin budded. Adorable. Like a geriatric hidden in the body of a moody, rugged young man.

"Yes, of course I do! It's always worked before." She leaned over, viewing the screen. "That should be your new background." More of a command than a suggestion. "I also want a tiara."
Elouise Warrock 09/21/16 Her eyes begged an unanswerable question. The idea of trust, so foreign, had stayed deep within her. Yet, here she was. Elouise’s subconscious was screaming, but her voice was drowned away as he offered a rather appropriate response. For once, her world was quiet. And she folded into the silence, pliant to his touch, too beholden of him at that very moment to offer a witty rebuttal.

Her hands fall slowly from his shoulders, instead slipping into his jacket, lacing around his figure. He was a comfort she had been far too remiss in admitting to herself. It was odd to her then, that hands that were so familiarly rough carried such gentle capacity, drawing her near and holding her without force. Of course, she could have objected. He had left plenty of time for that. She was akin to a frightened doe, and he seemed to sense that. It was unfamiliar terrain, but he traversed it well. Simply put, she was unafraid.

Elouise returns in equal measure, a brief, responsive kiss, though it held no surprise in it. She was not bewildered any longer. He felt as familiar to her as ever. Trust no longer felt so foreign, even if it was not quite seeping through her visage, it was budding. She, of course, drew her head back first, a glimmer in her eyes as she met his gaze.

Absolute silence. In her stubbornness, she refused to speak first.
Elouise Warrock 09/21/16 Proximity. She freezes as his face meets hers, unsure of how she should react. For once, she knew crassness was not a proper, nor positive response. And then he called her a potato.

Shut up…” She closes her eyes, head dipping so that her brow leaned against his cheek. A sigh left her lips, for the first time, she realized she was still breathing. And she still had her jugular. “Patata…” She murmured against his neck, a quiet laugh following.

Elouise would pull her head back then, meeting his gaze, though it appeared as if she had stopped breathing again. She’d need to work on that.
Elouise Warrock 09/21/16 “… so maybe I am a sour patch kid. If you’re a chocolate bar, it’s Chunky.” She snorts, rolling her eyes. “You are incredibly… resistable.” She drops her hand, eyes narrowing at him.

Elouise leans in closely, her fingers trailing up his chest as she met his gaze. “Actually, I take that back. There are certainly parts of you that I cannot resist…” She whispered, before her eyes lit up and she drew back, chocolate bar successfully thefted.
Elouise Warrock 09/21/16

The offer sort of shocked her. But, then again, she was a serious chocolate fiend. She held her hand out palm up, directing a ‘gimme’ movement at Jameson. Then, a grin grows on her lips.

“Sour and sweet nerds? It’s like you and me! I’m sweet, obviously. Because I’m the princess.”
Elouise Warrock 09/21/16 -comforts-
That's right, you're rugged. Like a dull chainsaw.
Elouise Warrock 09/20/16 She gasps, before a big grin grows. “Aw, you’re almost on one knee, too!” She nods and nods and nods, before offering her left hand, waving it in his face.

“You don’t need to ask, the answer is yes, I will sue you for more alimony.” She rolled her eyes after the statement. “Green apple is beautiful, tasteful, elegant, and underrated. Who wants blue raspberry when that’s what everyone else has?”
Elouise Warrock 09/20/16 And just as soon as she had control, it was lost. Flipped back to her previous position on her back, she looks up at him with big, innocent eyes. Her, doing something wrong? Impossible. With a nervous laugh, she squirms a bit before she realizes there is no escape.

She sucks in a deep breath, compromising her better judgement. “I’m sorry…” She lowers her voice. “… do I still get the ring pop?”
Elouise Warrock 09/20/16 The blonde plants her hands on her hips, staring up at him with squinted eyes, regardless of proximity.

"I'm a tester, Jamie. I test people."
Sofia Johanneson 09/19/16 She lets out a soft laugh, her bright blue eyes darting side to side, mimicking his sudden look of... unease? Trying to keep things light, and unable to *NOT* tease...she takes a long exaggerated inhale, her nose twitching as she whispers in a low tone.

"Sorry, the taco was a dead give-away, might I suggest a different cologne?"

Elouise Warrock 09/19/16 ... I despise you, Ninja Princess Jameson.
Elouise Warrock 09/19/16 -comforts-
You can still try my shoes on when I'm not in my room and think I won't notice, if it makes you feel better. Just stop stretching out my dresses.
Elouise Warrock 09/19/16 -fumes-
You're the worst person I know. Truly.
Camille 09/19/16 Will you stop pouting so much. Yoire such a bummer. Or I'll tell Elouise the thing that you said about the thing.... That you said....
-laughs maniacally-
Elouise Warrock 09/18/16 -feels bad-
... I'm sure you look beautiful in a tiara, Princess Jameson. I didn't mean to lash out.
You're near the top of the list, I promise. Right after everyone else.
Elouise Warrock 09/18/16 -scowl-
Only one child got shredded, thank you.
-tries to shove-
And Gunner is my favorite anyway.
Elouise Warrock 09/17/16
Elouise Warrock 09/17/16
Elouise Warrock 09/17/16 This plaque symbolizes that one:

Jameson Orlov

Is the bomb
Jameson Orlav 09/17/16 Congrats Jameson. You da bomb.
Elouise Warrock 09/17/16 I mean, I could always reprint him, but does that mean he's still Trigger? Or is he Trigger's twin brother, Gunner?
Did we have morph-twins?!
Elouise Warrock 09/17/16 Ugh. That's soooo much effort. I'm sure he's just playing hide-and-seek. Or, I accidentally put him in the shredder pile.
-taps chin-
-eyes widen-
Oh, no. I think I did.
Elouise Warrock 09/17/16 Speaking of explanations, have you seen Trigger? I can't find his print-out anywhere! Am I a bad mother?
Elouise Warrock 09/16/16 That's fine! But you'll also be cleaning it up.
-pats cheek-
I guess you're the one with the nose-related fetish.
Elouise Warrock 09/16/16
-big grin-
Whaaat was that? I’m a pretty princess?
You’re a pretty princess too, Lameson.
Elouise Warrock 09/15/16 “Two bunny ears…” Her tongue jutted out from the side of her mouth in concentration until the bush rustled.

Her head shot up, locking onto Jameson’s camouflaged figure as it appeared before her. Her eyes widened, and she began to back pedal. Or, she thought she did. Still crouched down, the movement only landed her flat on her behind.

“So we do, Mister Orlav.” Defeat dampened her eyes as she looked his water pistol straight on. Whatever was in there, it probably wasn’t good. She only prayed it wasn’t urine.

As the orange-water mixture rained down upon her, she opened her mouth to gasp – sputtering as the juice obviously infiltrated. “You used Caitlyn’s orange juice for this?! You’re despicable!”

Sufficiently soaked, she stood up, wiping the sticky juice from her face. “You have won the battle, Jameson. But not the war.” It was a heavy-laden threat. After all, the limits to her tom-foolery and pranking had not yet been seen.
Elouise Warrock 09/15/16 The Troublemaker walked merrily along, without a care in the world. Or, at least that was the impression she gave to the unassuming eye. Instead, her eyes scanned the area carefully, as they always did. But, today seemed void of shenanigans. She had made promises, after all.
Tomorrow would be the day he felt doom. But today was Zumba day, and she was exhausted. Camille really knew how to kick @ss.
With a glance down, she noticed her shoe was untied. With a long sigh, she leaned over to tie it back up.
“One bunny ear…”
Elouise Warrock 09/14/16 *crouches behind bush*
*slingshots water balloon at*
Elouise Warrock 09/14/16 I smell like rosewater and cardamom! If anyone smells, it's you. I just didn't want to say anything, because I have manners.
-huffs indignantly-
Caitlyn Darrow 09/13/16 *Runs away shrieking* (
Caitlyn Darrow 09/13/16 JAMESON. JAMESON. WHERE ARE YOU. I need to know howtogrtridofdemonsandboogiemenNdimscared.Start crying and I think you'll scarethemaway!
Elouise Warrock 09/13/16 ... Well, you've got me there. But who's going to mess with a kid named Trigger?
Caitlyn Darrow 09/12/16
Except Trigger. He kind of grows on you, or maybe he's using mind power. He must have gotten that from Elouise.
Elouise Warrock 09/12/16 My tiny female mind is telling me your teasing, but I can't think of a better, or more lethal combination that those three things.
-cants head to the side-
You're like a... jellyfish, wrapped in a soft taco, wrapped in a leather jacket.
Elouise Warrock 09/12/16
What?! Is the Internet not proof enough?!
Elouise Warrock 09/12/16 Ew.
-shakes head-
You can call me Mrs. Dr. Professor Elouise, if you want a pet name.
Elouise Warrock 09/12/16 Our ugly morph baby is named Trigger. I now require child support.
-holds our hand, palm up-
Elouise Warrock 09/11/16
Caitlyn Darrow 09/10/16 I miss your friend Lameson. At least he didn't take my oranges.
Camille 09/07/16 You'd be wise not to forget.. I have full access to alla the sanctuary. Maybe your tacos aren't the only thing Cait gets her hands on!!
Caitlyn Darrow 09/06/16 *Only knows pirate noises from SpongeBob Squarepants*

Arggg are we ready tacos?
Who lives in a room of no tacos?
Jameson Squirtpants!
Who's the worst doctor who ever lived?
Jameson Squirtpants!
Absentminded and tan and pompous is he!
Jameson Squirtpants!
If utter nonsense is what you wish!
Jameson Squirtpants!
He flops on the deck and smells like a fish!
Jameson Squirtpants! Jameson Squirtpants! Jameson Squirtpants!

*Stuffs taco into her mouth. Has all day*
Elouise Warrock 09/02/16 I like Lameson. We'll call you that from now on.
Caitlyn Darrow 09/01/16 After the word got out about her stolen beloved oranges. She checked anxiously every nook and cranny for them. Currently, hunched over a couch and shifted the couch cushions on the ground. A defeated sigh passed her lips and then she heard the voice behind her.


She stood up to her full height and whirled around to witness the camouflaged plebeian. Her eyes blinked rapidly at Jameson unsure what had transpired. Did she miss a costume invite? Was she in the middle of a game?

'Finally we meet.'

Caitlyn cleared her throat as her eyes gave him a quick once over. "Umm but we know each other, silly goose." A nervous chuckle parted her lips. Did Jameson have a twin?! Oh this could be exciting! Oh...maybe he got pummeled in the head by a pigeon?

'T'was I who took your precious oranges, and it is I who shall reign supreme over the citric kingdom!!'

The spark of electricity jolted against her spine, and she grabbed the nearest couch cushion for a makeshift shield."Come again from taco man?"The small bit of humanity giving him a chance to take back what he said. Silently she vowed never to miss a taco Tuesday. Apparently this is the result of a taco Doctor missing too many taco Tuesdays . A crazed lunatic with cringeworthy fashion taste. Her right eye twitched involuntarily as she witnessed the waste of juice from his guns. She hated guns.

Then suddenly....

She heard a shrieking crazy lady. What the hell was going on?! Oh, wait that shrieking lady was her. The high pitched shrill battle cry of the orange keeper.

When she finally noticed the cry was from her, she had already bounded toward him intent on tackling him to the ground.

She got hit with orange drizzle from the water guns. Even while in a dramatic race towards him, she took the time to place the upper collar of her dress into her mouth to suck the drop of juice out of it. While the couch cushion took most of the citrus injuries for cinematic purposes.

Camille 09/01/16 I think we might replace you with this guy. He's prettier, too.

You were successful in stealing $471.00 from Lameson Morlov.
Camille 08/26/16 you're a booger.
Elouise Warrock 08/10/16 I'm just debating what sort of marinade I'll rest your corpse in before I eat you.
-innocent smile-
Caitlyn Darrow 06/12/16 Congrats on your promotion and ranking up! I spent the day trying to become your twin, instead of my twin. How do I look?
Caitlyn Darrow 06/05/16 You managed to break out Jameson Orlav
"You do realize they don't deliver tacos here, right?"
Elouise Warrock 05/29/16 -hurls water balloon at-
Caitlyn Darrow 05/08/16 Where can I get a complimentary taco around here?!
Elouise Warrock 05/07/16 Well, I firmly insist you go play in traffic.
Camille 05/05/16 To: Bourbon
Body: ME. And you're the biggest weirdo of them all.
Caitlyn Darrow 04/29/16 ...Did she just feel someone's hand in her pocket? Her brows met in a curious scrunch, as she pulled out a wad of notes from her pocket. Money on you:$11,423.00
After standing there for several minutes, her weight shifts to her left hip. Her brows return to normal, and her mouth drops open.
"I can't believe someone would take 10 cents! I mean.." Her eyes blink rapidly, as she starts to recount. Was she only off by 10 cents? Maybe they had stolen a whole fifty!
Caitlyn Darrow 04/28/16 Can you even walk after all that pizza?
Caitlyn Darrow 04/28/16 After a considerable amount of time, she resurfaced. Ten boxes of pizza hid her face entirely. She used some small little slit between box four and five to see which way she was going. She was fully prepared for ANYTHING, except if he wanted something weird like anchovies or a taco pizza. "I bring you pizza! I er.. left kind of suddenly so I got random toppings?" All the while she whispered spastic in her mind
-Please don't kill me. Please.don' Pleasedon'tkillme.-
Elouise Warrock 04/27/16 You're already rather funny looking, so I don't believe it will be quite the detriment. But of course, it's completely your choice. It just also happens that it is the wrong one.
*intimidating stare*
Caitlyn Darrow 04/27/16 The awkward laughter ended with a long drawn out heh. She shrank into an odd crab stance. Of all the times, why today did she carry an invisible pizza to the taco man? Sense seemed to be eluding her, like she would be eluding him soon. "I-I-I.Er.. I-I'm very sorry! Do over! Yes, do over!" With that she clicked her heel, and braced herself to flail run back to the pizza place.
Elouise Warrock 04/25/16 *stares at*
I guess they're just letting anyone in these days. You'll gave to choose blonde or redhead, though. Word of advice, blondes are obviously better. More... soulful.
Camille 04/23/16 Welcome to the club. Try not to make a mess, yeah?
Camille 04/21/16 *blinks*
Ahem. Princess?!
Camille 04/21/16 Welcome to the Realm.
Actives (6) Fresh Blood (1) View All The Fallen (2) Graveyard
Raven Star, Maeve, Demasduit Drake, Geoffrey Drake, _Klaus_, Mallory Quarters  LadyZenelle  Samuel
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