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Autumn Summers
Killed: March 15, 2019 at 05:47 pm EDT
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Born: July 11, 2016 Forum Topics Started: 0
Race: Slayer Forum Posts / Replies: 91
Affiliation: Azhi Dahaka Mail Replies Sent: 2949
Home City: London Mail Sent: 241
In Union With: Not in Union Last Login:
Currently Online:
Current Mood: Pessimistic 
Special Items:
 Have you seen my Minion Raiding Party?
My Minion Raiding party broke your nose
My Minion Raiding Party can beat up your Minion Raiding Party
My Minion Raiding Party stole all my clothes
Savage Secret Santa - Christmas 2016
A package of Dr Van Helsing marshmallow Peeps - Easter 2017
2017 Summer Bloodies - Realm Longbottom
Blood Dagger commemorating the Bloodletting 12th Anniversary
Black Masquerade Gold Rose ~ Participant 2018
I Celebrated Christmas 2018 in the Realm
2018 Winter Bloodies - Most Improved Writer

Autumn Summers's Biography
Autumn Summers's Friends ~ 
Comments ~ Add Comment


Livia Vlcek

Will Summers

Gray Taylor
Dark Embracer

Elouise Warrock
Templar Knight

Dexter Gein

Black Lord

Jameson Orlav

Valentin Metzger

Last five threads posted in:
ForumSubjectLast Post
The Black Rose~The Devil's Edge - VIP Lounge - The Black Masquerade~ *Closed*
Created by River Song
Game IdeasTypos
Created by Dr Van Helsing
Contests2017 Summer Bloodies
Created by Cersei Lannister
Summer 02/26/19 Autumn
Well, after our uplifting text exchange, I realized the winters here in Antwerp are doing a number on me. I'm gonna answer the call of sandy beaches, sunny days and tequila-fueled, tourist-killing nights in Cancun. I will be back in two shakes of a lambs tail though. The job in Antwerp isn't done and I'll be damned if I don't finish something I started. Eventually.
Love you!!!!
Dexter Gein 02/21/19
Summer 02/18/19 Autumn
You mean like every damned day of my life?
The lure of the sunny beaches in Cancun is strong.
The lure of just facing all of it and seeing where I end up has an appeal all its own.
But like, I think about how I'm an angel that ran away from heaven. And am now stuck here in this literal god-forsaken land and it's just like...dude, I don't f-ckin' know.
So I smoke a bowl. Dance. Cut my hair. Find some cute boy and marry him. Sh-t like that.
Oh, I got married, btw. Super low key, just us. You know, the Summers way. No big thing.
Keep your chin up, Sugarpants. Maybe your purpose is to read my book-length texts. Ugh, that is depressing, I'm sorry. Forget I said it.
Gray Taylor 02/06/19 Autumn
He needs his head checked for trusting me with anything.
Gray Taylor 02/06/19 Autumn
That is the most asinine thing Iíve heard all day.
Gray Taylor 02/06/19 Autumn
Do I really want to know?
Livia Vlcek 01/30/19 *sighs with relief*
*chuckles quietly* Always friends.
Livia Vlcek 01/29/19 *accepts the brownies*
*offers a bottle of Liberty School Cabernet as trade*
Gray Taylor 01/26/19 Autumn
You're welcome.
I'll be by, since you asked so nicely.
Gray Taylor 01/26/19 Autumn
It's not a problem. It's a hobby.
Gray Taylor 01/26/19 Autumn
And will there be cookies and wine?
Gray Taylor 01/26/19 Autumn
I do believe that is a point to me.
I'm back in London. Where are you residing, lately?
Gray Taylor 01/26/19 Autumn
Is that what Google Translate said?
You get a point. Game isn't over.
Gray Taylor 01/26/19 Autumn
Or you could make my day and say that to my face.
Gray Taylor 01/26/19 Autumn
You really cannot expect it to be that easy.
It's like you've forgotten me, entirely.
Gray Taylor 01/26/19 Autumn
Winning is defined as getting my way.
Gray Taylor 01/26/19 Autumn
This is a fun game.
Who will win?
Gray Taylor 01/26/19 Autumn
Feel free to tell me how much you miss me.
Gray Taylor 01/26/19 Autumn
I thought you might need space.
Was I right?
Gray Taylor 01/26/19 Autumn
Maybe I am.
I've been downgraded to pulse-checks.
Gray Taylor 01/26/19 Autumn
Don't know. Am I?
Morgan Laramee 01/16/19 Thank you!
Will Summers 12/19/18 Autumn
You have one new voicemail. Message one: "Hey MeiMei, it's Will. Listen, I promise I'm okay, yeah? Jus.. need a bit'o time t'myself. Goin on a bit'o'a sabbatical. Too many people an' it's a bit overwhelmin. Not gettin into any trouble. I love you." End of message.
Will Summers 12/17/18 Autum
Where are you? Are you okay? I've not heard from you in a couple days. Did you land safely in Moscow?
Sent on December 7, 2018 at 2:15pm

This really isn't funny, MeiMei..
Sent on December 8, 2018 at 1:46pm

I'm pacin a bloody fckin trench in Liv's room, MeiMei.
Sent on December 10, 2018 at 4:00pm

Don't let Liv tell y'any different. She's a snuggler. Also...I... might be drunk. C'mon MeiMei, where are you?
Sent on December 12, 2018 at 7:47pm

I feel like I'm going outta my mind, MeiMei. And maybe outta my skin. Both? Met Malek. I think he wants to eat me, or laugh at my antics. Not sure. Did I mention that Liv's a snuggler? Just.. text or call me when you can. I'm.. Liv's helping to keep me occupied. I think I need a hobby so I don't worry so much.
Sent on December 15, 2018 at 5:59pm
Addison 12/13/18 *spies the woman roaming around the Azhi compound. Pops out in front of*
"HAI! I'm Addison. Welcome to Azhi. Stay out of my room, things will be cool. Okay, well, you are welcome in my room. warned there are things in there that bite and may, or may not, be poisonous."
*skips off to torment other new members that arrived while she was gone*
Will Summers 12/03/18 Autumn
Just.. no dark, enclosed spaces or surrounded by lots of water.... Safe travels MeiMei.
Will Summers 12/03/18 Autumn
I haven't tried to kill him yet so he's good, sis.
And, I guess our family is a bit beyond complicated, eh? Gods, we're a fcked up bunch. But.. we're Pack.
Will Summers 12/03/18 Autumn
I'd keep him on a short leash but.. he might like that too.
Can't be more complicated than being completely dead one moment, having sacrificed yourself to make sure your kid and family are safe, and then washing up on shore the next moment, though that moment is months, maybe years, later... in a fckin living, breathing body.
But, I understand. You just better return to me, safe and sound, or else not even the hounds of hell will have a single thing compared to me. You are Pack.
Also, I'm taking over your bed while you're gone.
Will Summers 12/03/18 Autumn
I understand that you have to do this, and perhaps on your own isn't the best way to go about it, but I get it.
If you aren't back in an acceptable amount of time, I will track you down and bring you back, kicking and screaming if I must.
I refuse to lose anyone else.
Also... if Idris is tied up somewhere, it's only because he got handsy.
Gray Taylor 12/03/18 Autumn
Iíll see you when you land.
Gray Taylor 12/02/18 Autumn
At the airport?
Gray Taylor 12/02/18 Autumn
Iíll collect you at the airport.
Send your itinerary.
Gray Taylor 12/02/18 Gray lets out a breath as he reads the message, weighing his options carefully before making another push. Not alone, his ass.

Please come to Moscow.
Gray Taylor 12/02/18 Autumn
Read 11:20 pm

No. Not until I told her what I told you.
Gray Taylor 12/02/18 Autumn
I'm not following.
What happened?
Gray Taylor 12/02/18 Autumn
I didn't read the letter. I'm sorry.
But I'm here. And it sounds like you shouldn't be alone.
Gray Taylor 12/02/18 Autumn
I understand.
I'm in Moscow.
Why don't you come?
Gray Taylor 12/02/18 Autumn
So... no?
Gray Taylor 12/02/18 Autumn
I haven't heard from you.
Are you alright?
Malek 12/01/18 Thank you so much! I'm super excited to be back and in the crew!
Gray Taylor 12/01/18 Gray had been placed in a position that left him feeling less than comfortable. Letters. He has sealed letters, and the man knows that each one contains Spring's last words. He knows she has bequeathed items to these people, and the only way to find out what goes where is to read them. But he can't.

Slowly, he would begin to send them out, his own personal notes tucked into the FedEx envelopes with Springs sealed last words. He can only imagine what might be inside, but he makes it clear that each recipient could reach out to him at the number provided to collect whatever was left to them.

No one would be allowed on the property in Moscow again.


Did you ever wonder if I died with you? The brotherís clause you know. Remember when we used to feel every little cut they did? Every little time they tore off a piece of our flesh. Every sadistic nature thing they did. You were forced to be there with me through hell. Do you..Did you feel the baby? The baby that *******Ö You had Gray. You went to the enemy to force this falsified cure on us. What did it all mean? Did you ever once wonder what I felt? You had your happiness and you ruined mine. Instead of being by my side after we defeated out masters you abandoned me. Not only once may I add. How is the married life? The last time you reached out was to ask about the sapling. Why didnít you come to me? I had lost my only friend.

Instead you left me in the dark. I guess in hindsight my death wonít matter. I have admitted to Gray that I ..I really do love him. Donít worry, he chose you before, and now heís chosen someone else that makes him happier than either of us could. Donít interrupt his happiness. Sometimes people arenít meat to be. In these years that Iíve been by Grayís side, Iíve learned that I do love him. Heís my equal and the one person that gets me. He didnít have to endure our torture to understand. He didnít.. be forced. Lifeís a ****ing ***** sister of mine. I, Spring Weed, leave to you the heads of our masters. Itís you turn to take over their ****ty estate you left me in charge of when you betrayed me by befriending the enemy. Youíre my sister, and everyone always chooses you. I donít have to say I ****ing love you, because you hear it enough. I doubt my death will change anything.

Dexter Gein 12/01/18 It's an art...trimming. I trim the hedges at least twice a week. This is to prevent over growth in the wrong areas. Yes, moisture is a really good thing. The roots really need to penetrate deep into the soil in a manner that is pleasing to both the giver and the receiver in that both the soil and the hedge work directly with each other to accommodate the vertical positioning of the hedge and the constant need for the roots to dig deeper. If one care this much for both the soil and hedge, fertilization will come naturally.
Dexter Gein 12/01/18 ~~smiles "My favorite time to trim the hedges and mow the lawn in really early in the morning."
Gray Taylor 11/17/18 Autumn
The usual. Half hour?
Gray Taylor 11/17/18 Autumn
Lucifer Morningstar 11/13/18 Brown orbs fall on the pretty blonde. As she spoke. A slight nod escapes him. "Thank you Miss."
Gray Taylor 11/11/18 Autumn
Read 1:19pm
Gray Taylor 11/11/18 Autumn
What about Spring?
Gray Taylor 11/11/18 Autumn
That so? Sheís back?
Gray Taylor 11/11/18 Autumn
Is this another ex-boyfriend?
Gray Taylor 11/11/18 Autumn
Indeed. Iíd call it intuitive.
Itís fine.
Gray Taylor 11/11/18 Autumn
Just a hunch.
Gray Taylor 11/11/18 Autumn
Ready to tell me whatís actually bothering you?
Will Summers 11/08/18 She tried to get it together, she really did, but the tumultuous tide of emotions just would not be cast aside so easily as it once had. Sniffling, Willow's trembling legs gave way and she landed, heavily, upon her knees, clutching the corded phone like a lifeline as her elder sister worked to calm her down, give her a purpose through the staggering confusion that ran rampant like a virus.

"C-Crenshaw Boulevard.... t...there's.. I.. I don't k-know....where else.... There's a... public call box... I'm there.... I... I don't.... A-Autumn..... I'm sorry.... I'm so, so fcking sorry..... I... I left to.... to keep ev-everyone safe.... I... I shouldn't b-be alive right now..... not....not alive!" Willow tried to calm herself, tried to apologize for her lack of being there, but how do you tell someone that you died? That you, somehow, are among the living once more, but not as a ghoul, an undead plague?

"I'm so.... fcking..sorry Autumn... Please.... I... I don't know what's going on anymore....And... And I'm so ****ing scared..."
Will Summers 11/08/18 "Please... Please let her still have this number..." Willow had never had much luck when it came to keeping up with numbers, having normally used her own phone as a personal contact list.

And then she had died. No rhyme or reason, no bright lights at the end of the tunnel. She was just gone.

End of the line for her, right? Apparently not if she were, with trembling fingers and shaking body, dialing a number she had memorized, and perhaps she had misdialed a few times as her mind still held the grey smog of Death, the vapors slowly drifting away the more she addled along, gasping for breath and trying to gather her wits about her and not drift into frightened hysteria.

"Please pick up.... Please, please be her... Please don't let this be another wrong number..." Her voice was raspy and thick with barely repressed tears that threatened to drown her into a salty, watery abyss of confusion and terror.

It rings, once, twice, thrice, and just as she thought it was going to go to voicemail, a voice chimes in and she nearly sobs in relief, thinking that the static of the payphone was the reason for her sister's voice to sounding just a bit, or maybe a whole lot, off.

"A-Autumn... Please... Please don't hang up...I .... It's me... it's Willow.... I.. I don't know what's going on... or h-how... Please... just... I-I don't know w-where I am... o-or how I got here... I'm .. I'm scared, Autumn..." Never had the normally calm and collected, aloof young woman ever sounded in such a manner, distressed and finally breaking down into the tears that overwhelmed her.

"Please... C-Come get me.... Please, Autumn, please!"
Dexter Gein 11/08/18 ``Gee, thanks.`` What was that for....
Gray Taylor 11/03/18 Autumn
No funny business.

Let me know if you need anything.
Gray Taylor 11/03/18 Autumn
You ignore it. You distract. I have no idea how you would go about that. That's all you.
Gray Taylor 11/03/18 Autumn
Depends on how fast you turn it off.
Gray Taylor 11/03/18 Autumn

I can't tell you how to cope. But it gets better.
Gray Taylor 11/03/18 Autumn
I do know when you are lying, you know.
Gray Taylor 11/03/18 Autumn
Is this about Spring?
Gray Taylor 11/03/18 Autumn
Taking control.
Going to tell me what this is about?
Gray Taylor 11/03/18 Autumn
No such thing. And no. I simply don't deal with the losses.
Gray Taylor 11/03/18 Autumn
I don't. What has you talking like this?
Gray Taylor 11/03/18 Autumn
Dare I ask what you mean?
Stalker 11/03/18 Thank you very much.
Genesis 10/30/18 ~considered her words for a moment.~ "Well, if you were all the same, things would have tended to be boring. You should come out drinking with me some night. We'll bring Summer. Girls night out." ~gave a cheeky wink~
Jamison King 10/30/18 Thank you. Much appreciated.
Genesis 10/30/18 ~grins~ "Yeah, Summer is great, but I am betting each one of you are in your own way. I question her alot about family and siblings since I've never had that."
Livia Vlcek 10/29/18 *grins as Autumn makes it rain* Almost got all of it. Actually, only forty percent. *coughs*
Genesis 10/29/18 ~stepped to her crew mate and offered a small smile.~ "Hello Autumn, Its nice to meet you, I'm Genesis, though I was gone when you came into the crew. I hope you are finding things to your liking. I know your sister, so I thought I would make a proper introduction." ~offered a hand, though it was kind of grubby with dried blood and dirt.~
Gray Taylor 10/20/18 Autumn
I'm sure you'll be plenty angry with me soon enough.
Gray Taylor 10/20/18 Autumn
As if you'd ever turn me out.
Gray Taylor 10/20/18 Autumn

Hope you're dressed. I'll be there in five.
Gray Taylor 10/20/18 Autumn
Well, f-ck.

Where are you? Still in Moscow?
Summer 10/18/18 Autumn
My sweet baby sister. You were her other half, for better or worse. I cannot imagine how you must be feeling.
I know for myself- well, I think she bequeathed me her rage. I cannot seem to get a handle on it. I havenít left my room in the compound for days. Lest I light someone on fire. And honestly, the idea soothes my heart.
It freaks me out.
Mostly I donít want to think about it. I want to avoid it. I thought maybe I could save her. Could negotiate something. But evidently that is not an option. And that sends me into a pit of despair Iíve not previously known.
My point, my love, is that you are not alone. Even if you feel it, you are not an island unto yourself.
Gray Taylor 10/16/18 His phone chimes, and Gray frowns at his phone. Well, f-ck.

I never got them. I must have been in Moscow when they arrived, and I've yet to go back to New York.

Autumn long do they keep?
Dexter Gein 10/15/18 Image and video hosting by TinyPic
Your Finger Ninja skills are impressive.
Livia Vlcek 10/12/18 *high fives* Chosen! You did it!
Nathaniel Tallios 10/10/18 -shrugs his shoulders-
"You have a point there but I have genuinely had a pleasure meeting everyone I've ever met so far. So I definitely love a good challenge."
Nathaniel Tallios 10/10/18 -sighs a bit but then chuckles-
"You know, I've been getting that a lot lately. I think this is the first time I've seen you. Nathaniel Tallios, it's a pleasure to meet you."
Livia Vlcek 10/08/18 *grumps* Hatechu. So much right now.
Victor Lockheed 10/05/18 Sounds like my kind of woman.
Did she beat you to the punch?
Livia Vlcek 10/05/18 *eyes widen* OH MY GOD. ARE YOU SERIOUS?!
*is so fvcking jealous it isn't even funny*
*grabs at arm* They make these?!
Victor Lockheed 10/05/18 Ah, I see.
Was that your doing?
Victor Lockheed 10/05/18 I don't.
I'm not what you'd call a bring home to mom type.
Victor Lockheed 10/04/18 Autumn Summers just stole $529.00 from you!

Wow. Handsy.
For that kind of money, you could've at least bought me dinner.
Livia Vlcek 10/04/18 *eyes glisten* I can't wait...seriously. Bake me things!
*nods* I like fast cars, don't get me wrong. I just like feeling like I'm strapped to a rumbling rocket.
*scrunches nose* That sounded wrong.
*makes the face*
*face brightens* I am a new Harry Potter series fan! My showed me the series on movie nights.
*awkward smile* But I'm a Snape fan. Hands down, best character.
Livia Vlcek 10/04/18 *nods* I do. And sure, I have most things in Paris but some other pieces scattered across a few cities.
*eyes brighten* Baking? I love baked woah. Video games are fun. Oddly, first person shooters give me motion sickness.
*blinks and flails into the dip* I like clubbing. Fast cars are always good...but I'm a sucker for old American muscle.
*laughs* I think we're going to be good friends. But I like dill pickles...not a lot...but sometimes when I need salt.
*thinks about dislikes* Liars...I dislike liars. Especially when I'm invested in a relationship.
*scrunches nose* It just sucks.
Livia Vlcek 10/04/18 *cants head* David Garret? I will have to look him up. Lindsay Stirling is very good.
*has never used Pandora* I'm generally a creature of habit with music but lately, when I am painting, I just let things play.
*dips once more* Hobbies? Likes? Dislikes?
Livia Vlcek 10/04/18 *laughs* Sometimes I do the same. Generally I let youtube autoplay. I've found some interesting things and some just freaking awful things.
*shudders* Indie folk rock. Fvck that.
Livia Vlcek 10/04/18 *spins and dips Autumn*
*has deflected it seems*
*nods* I love music. Like, maybe too much.
Livia Vlcek 10/04/18 *laughs* Katy Perry song. But agreed. I feel like a Ragdoll sometimes myself.
Livia Vlcek 10/04/18 *dances with*
*looks at seriously* Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?
Livia Vlcek 10/04/18 *dies*
*can't even*
*is actually really impressed with the strut and dancing*
Livia Vlcek 10/04/18 *brows raise is surprise*
*looks around nervously*
*takes off jacket, covers Autumn with it* Billie not my lover. She's just a girl who claims that I am the one.
Livia Vlcek 10/04/18 *takes a deep breath*
*refuses to cave*
*spills a bit of coffee on her shirt* Ooh, look what you made me do...
Livia Vlcek 10/04/18 *grew up in an Orphanage/Lab*
*has no clue what Autumn is singing...but it sounds awful*
*cheeky grin* Have a seat in the foyer, take a number, I was lightning before the thunder.
Livia Vlcek 10/04/18 *will be hated for this earworm* Just a young gun...with a quick fuse...
Dexter Gein 10/03/18 Image and video hosting by TinyPic
Gray Taylor 10/01/18 Pulling out his phone, he would stare at the screen and begin to type out his sh-tty message, stopping only when he realizes what an actual ******* he is truly being. As if Autumn deserves his wrath. She hadn't been the one to make him angry. Not this time.

Taking a deep breath, he dials, lifting the phone to his ear and listening to it ring. The moment he hears it stop, he starts in.

"It's me. Don't say a word. Just. Let me talk, okay?" He might be coming off a little aggressive, and again, it isn't her fault. "Just.. you need to come to Moscow, alright? I need you to come here. It's Spring."

Gray would glance over his shoulder. "She's gone. And you need to be here. I'll explain when you're here. I can't stay on the phone. I'm sorry."

Hanging up, the man deflates, already berating himself for the way in which he's handled himself.
Jackson McCarthy 09/29/18 *laughs* Dinnae worry love, ye saved me from wasting it at the pub. Aye hope ye ware't weel.
Summer 09/27/18 Autumn
Wait, what? That's pretty rad, a cat talking in your head. F-ck, man. I'm into it!
Also...welcome to Azhi!
Jackson McCarthy 09/27/18 Welcome to Azhi!
Jasper Thompson 09/25/18 Autumn
Jasper Thompson 09/25/18 Armed with Grayís phone, he types out another text to another Summers, his request prevalent in his wording. Jasper is worried for his partner, and anything that would lighten his load, he would do it. And getting them off his back is certainly a must.

As I told your brother, Iím working on it.
Summer 09/24/18 Autumn
Donít apologize. Youíre going through ten shades of stress, I can imagine.
Actually, I kinda know. But I imagine every situation is different.
I get the prickly mads when I am scared of losing any of you.
Keep your chinup, babe. Love you!
Summer 09/24/18 Autumn died. And are now mortal.
Oi, woman. Tiny details!
Summer 09/24/18 Summer grappled around her unmade bed for her phone, hearing the text tone for her sister. Damn. Feast or famine with her siblings, she thought with a wry chuckle. Chewing on the end of a Red Vine, Summer rolled to her stomach to read and respond. An opened bag of crisps crunched beneath her bare stomach. Reading with one eyebrow up, Summer let out an amused sniff. New body? Welcome to the club, sis.

And here I was thinking I was gonna get bad news! Those five crows mustíve been a fluke. You know, my change was instigated by Old Scratch himself. Having any dalliances with the devil lately? Just a thought.
In any event, I bet you are super cute as a blonde. It works perfectly that you are now a blonde becauseóóbetween you and meó-my hair is actually now very dark brown. Iíve been dying it! My roots are crazy right now so I guess itís no secret.
Anyway, welcome to the Body snatchers club. Itíll get easier. Itís an excuse to go shopping- no way can any normal-height person fit into your old midget clothes.
Beg pardon- Ďfun sizedí clothes.
Jasper Thompson 09/23/18 A simple case of perspective. Iíve learned some of my best tricks in some dingy places.
Summer 09/22/18 Autumn
Thinkin' about you- Happy first day of Autumn! least in the Northern Hemisphere. I'm in California at present though, so I'm right-side-up right now. Globally. Not like, mentally. But you knew that.
Hope alls well. I heard from Winter a few weeks ago, but other than that it's been a quiet summer. Heh. That isn't very normal.
Loving you!
Jameson Orlav 09/21/18 Autumn
Damn you. How I detest being called out on my bullsh-t.

Jameson slipped his phone into his back pocket without another thought, and so, the mouse hunt began.
Jameson Orlav 09/21/18 Autumn
Undoubtedly... But I know better than to fall for that.
Jameson Orlav 09/21/18 Autumn
You're joking? Remember that whole, heightened senses thing that comes with our undead condition? Your shampoo.. Conditioner.. That perfume you wear.. The distinct smell from the must of your clothes.. With all due respect, Ms. Summers, you're kind of...

Jameson Orlav 09/21/18 Autumn
Does my nose deceive me, or are YOU in skulking around the holy land, too?

[video rec'd 1/1]
Gray Taylor 09/21/18 Autumn
Jumping to conclusions, as always.
Be safe.
Gray Taylor 09/21/18 Autumn
Both. I think.
Gray Taylor 09/21/18 Ugh. Questions. He loathes questions.

There is curiosity, and then there is this guy.
I'm indisposed.
Gray Taylor 09/21/18 Autumn
So seeking me out doesn't make it clear enough?
Autumn, I cannot go to Jerusalem.
Gray Taylor 09/21/18 Autumn
He's a creep, Autumn. Period.
I told you, that was not a place to meet people.
Where are you?
Gray Taylor 09/21/18 Autumn
Someone named Idris, if that is even his f-cking name.
What's wrong?
Gray Taylor 09/21/18 Autumn
Are you aware that someone has been watching you?
I've just had a man approach me about everything.
Gray Taylor 09/20/18 Autumn
Don't engage.
Are you drunk?
Gray Taylor 09/20/18 Autumn
Can't say I know who you're talking about. She high?
Clubs are not where you meet good people.
Gray Taylor 09/20/18 Autumn
She sounds like a con artist.
Catch a name? Where are you that you're attracting this?
Gray Taylor 09/20/18 Autumn
I've never met any, but I'm sure there are others like me.
What was she offering? She didn't try to get you to sign anything, did she?
Gray Taylor 09/20/18 Autumn
Youíre a woman. Donít you? Women call the shots.
Gray Taylor 09/20/18 Autumn
Iím not so sure.
Gray Taylor 09/20/18 Autumn
Suppose Iíll just starve until then.
Gray Taylor 09/20/18 Autumn
What? It is.
Gray Taylor 09/20/18 Autumn
Itís an apartment.
Gray Taylor 09/20/18 Autumn
Gray Taylor 09/20/18 Autumn
Huh. Well.
Gray Taylor 09/20/18 Autumn
You've been here. Haven't you?
Gray Taylor 09/20/18 Autumn
You already know this.
[Address attached]
Gray Taylor 09/20/18 Autumn
And you enable me.
Iím in New York.
Maybe express mail?
Gray Taylor 09/20/18 Autumn
Mail them to me?
Gray Taylor 09/20/18 Autumn
What? I never got a message about cookies.
Are they they crispy ones?
Jameson Orlav 09/18/18 Autumn
It's my buns of steel, isn't it?
Elouise Warrock 09/12/18 Autumn
What are you doing tonight?
You should write me and a bottle of tequila into your evening schedule.
Elouise Warrock 09/12/18 Autumn
Who says?
Elouise Warrock 09/12/18 Autumn
Elouise Warrock 07/16/18 Cheeto Scrooge
Elouise Warrock 07/16/18 Cheeto Scrooge
Seems like a personal problem, Autumn.
Elouise Warrock 07/16/18 Autumn
Maddie did it...
Elouise Warrock 07/11/18 Autumn
There are some things you ought to know.
Best saved for face-to-face.
I'm actually at the airport, now. First to Dulles, then to Heathrow.
You still live in the same place?
Elouise Warrock 07/11/18 Autumn
Happiness has always eluded me in the many chapters of my life. I still think back to that brief glimmer I'd grasped when loving him was all I had to do. But things change, as does life. Having a child, needing to protect that child... other things.

Is it possible to love the thing that scares you the most?
Elouise Warrock 07/11/18 Autumn
Love is a funny thing, you know.
And so is trying to divorce a transient vampire. :)
Elouise Warrock 07/11/18 Autumn
Wouldn't help much that I still find myself very much married to one Doctor Jameson Orlav.
Elouise Warrock 07/11/18 Autumn
Does that mean we're free to get married?
Elouise Warrock 07/11/18 Autumn
Guess I've missed quite a bit.
Elouise Warrock 07/11/18 Autumn
Just you and Maddie, is it?
Elouise Warrock 07/11/18 Autumn
I've missed you quite a bit.
Read that to the cat. It's not for you.
Elouise Warrock 07/11/18 Autumn
Iíve been in Lima too long. I need real company.
Give me a day or two, Iíll be there.
Elouise Warrock 07/11/18 Autumn
Good. I will however, bring plenty of rum.
Elouise Warrock 07/11/18 Autumn
Should I bring random men??
Elouise Warrock 07/11/18 Autumn
Who else?
Elouise Warrock 07/11/18 Autumn
Need an unruly yet lovable houseguest for a night or two?
Elouise Warrock 07/11/18 Autumn
Where are you lurking these days?
Elouise Warrock 07/11/18 Autumn
Depends whoís asking.
Elouise Warrock 07/11/18 Autumn
Are you still short?
Jameson Orlav 07/03/18 -snatches, tucks away-
I'll take it. The parasites living in my basement aren't cheap.
Jameson Orlav 07/03/18 -smug little smirk-
It was worth the attempt. Though not nearly as satisfying, I'm sure, since my hand came up empty.
Jameson Orlav 07/03/18 -blinks-
You must have had to dig deep to find that. I didn't even know there was any cash in there.
Summer 05/15/18 Autumn
The thrill never goes away. It just gets better. I feel empowered and sexy and in control of my life while on stage. And as you know, ďempoweredĒ and ďin control of my lifeĒ are themes that havenít been that prevalent in my/our lives until recently.
I am so glad you liked it! I bet you made a killing!!
Summer 05/11/18 Autumn
Thanks honey. I didn't pick it, but it grew on me pretty fast. Plus, my tips have nearly doubled. I guess they match the cup size. Or something.
Of course I brought PJs. A night in marathoning movies sounds SO needed. See you soon, love.
Summer 05/10/18 Autumn
Iím landing in Heathrow in T minus 30 minutes. Snapped a pic in the galley, looking spiffy for First Class and to see my baby sis. You see this mug at your door, itís a-okay.
Summer 05/10/18 Autumn
I have no doubt you picked up some skills along the way.
Which is why amateur night at the club will be so easy. Iím sure you remember the moves I taught you back in Paris!
Summer 05/10/18 Autumn
What, like using it to brain someone during a mugging?
Nah. I just pluck a feather and jam it into their neck, quill side first.
Itís glorious.
Yes please- Iíd love help with it. Iím not a total luddite, but sometimes these things confound me.
Summer 05/10/18 Autumn
Taking promo selfies for the clubs Instagram page. :D
Summer 05/10/18 Autumn
Iíll get you a pic shortly. I got a new phone and canít figure out the damned apps yet. I dropped the old one off the stage at work- blammo, shattered into several pieces.
Summer 05/10/18 Autumn
Maddie! Awww I canít wait to see you both!
Oh! I almost forgot- I look a little different. Okay, a lot different. Still blond, same eye color. Still lookin like a snack. Other than that...when a curvy short haired blond walks in, donít freak out, k?
Summer 05/10/18 Autumn
You being at your old house has me feeling like everything comes around full circle.
Iíll be there in a few hours with a bottle, some spliffs and a bag of food from the corner chip shop in hand.
Summer 05/10/18 Autumn
I miss you too. Lemme know where youíre at nowadays and Iíll be there on the next flight.
Elouise Warrock 03/05/18 Autumn
You're not supposed to agree with me!
Elouise Warrock 03/02/18 Autumn
I can be very boring.
I'm the ultimate pillow princess.
Ask Jameson.
Elouise Warrock 03/02/18 Autumn
Elouise Warrock 03/02/18 Autumn
I offered, you declined.
I'd be an incredible wife.
I suppose that's up for debate. But still.
Elouise Warrock 03/02/18 Autumn
It's always nice to be adored, isn't it?
Elouise Warrock 03/02/18 Autumn
Nice butt, short stack.
Jameson Orlav 02/23/18 Autumn
Ooooh, right. Right. I vaguely remember paying the hefty membership fee. You might have a point. I'm pretty sure I still have a blockbuster card in here somewhere.
Jameson Orlav 02/22/18 Autumn
Which club are you referring to? I have too many membership cards.
Elouise Warrock 02/21/18 Autumn
Elouise Warrock 02/21/18 Autumn
I'll let you know.
I've been in Peru for a few weeks now.
Meet in New York this weekend?
Elouise Warrock 02/21/18 Autumn
Meet for coffee?
Elouise Warrock 02/21/18 Autumn
It's a promise of better communication.
Gray Taylor 02/12/18 Gray knows that look all too well. This is not the first time he has earned it in spades, and he doubts that it will be the last. The world is, after all, a cruel and unusual place. Still, she would earn no recognition.

Not even with that threatening little smile of hers.

"All men lie," His slate gaze narrows, and he leans in only slightly. Voice lower, he holds her stare with his own. "You just have to pay attention."

Straightening up, he flashes a smile that is all business. "Good luck finding your Gray."
Gray Taylor 02/12/18 A hand to his elbow causes him to falter, and Gray instinctively tugs away before turning a cold glare over his shoulder. He is angry, this much is true, and the sight before him does little to dispel the emotion. Still, he remains composed. The world would never see him falter.


This is a particularly painful sight on several different levels, and that stormy gaze that is only his would barely flicker over her features before settling upon her eyes.

Elis Griffyn 11/03/17 Thanks...I think. I dunno...I was really drunk and, well..wait...what?
Summer 10/30/17 Autumn Gold
I had started to ease back, trying to learn how to control my emotions on my own. Turns out I need more practice. Apparently ďsibling deathĒ is too much for me to manage on my own. Hence smokin the country dry. Iím mostly teasing. I have a few plants of my own in my room.
I worry that while my intentions may be good, wonder if Iím just from bad stock? If we are truly cursed, could it rub off on others? Maybe Iím just looking for excuses. I donít feel like it is me trying to run. It feels like me trying to protect him from the endless sh-t that happens to us.
Summer 10/30/17 Autumn
Iíll certainly take what youíre not going to use off your hands. Waste not, want not.
Iím so sorry to hear of your friend. That is terrible and I cannot imagine dealing with loss that close together.
It is incredibly odd. Itís certainly something I can get used to, but nothing Iím familiar with, something I am sure you understand. The strangest part is that I am a source of stability for him. Me. Being relied upon. It makes me scared but I also want to try. I donít want to disappoint him.
Summer 10/30/17 Autumn Gold
I shouldíve reached out too. I appear to have been sucked down a hole of despair. I think Iíve smoked Australia completely out of the good sh-t. I was aiming for a Blaize level of detached.
I suppose all of that is to be expected when the person I was closest to dies.
Despite being certain the Summers name is cursed, Iím doing better. Kiernan has been a rock, which has been nice. How are you holding up?
Elouise Warrock 10/26/17 Autumn
Elouise Warrock 10/26/17 Autumn
Lost my last one.
Let's meet. Your place?
I can make it to London, I think.
Elouise Warrock 10/26/17 +Unknown Number+
Elouise Warrock 10/26/17 +Unknown Number+
Summer 10/04/17 Autumn
Blond??!? Why tho??
Elouise Warrock 09/29/17 Autumn
I warned you I was a snuggler!
Elouise Warrock 09/29/17 Autumn
I've asked Lucius enough weird questions.
Especially after that one time...when I jumped into your bed...
Still scarred.
Elouise Warrock 09/29/17 Actual Hussy
I'm intrigued.
Do go on.
Elouise Warrock 09/29/17 Ass-biter
No one here is complaining.
Elouise Warrock 09/29/17 'Awesome'
Kiss my ass.
Elouise Warrock 09/29/17 Autumn
So what does that make you??
Elouise Warrock 09/29/17 Autumn
A hoe.
Just a hoe.
Elouise Warrock 09/29/17 Actual Hussy
I am NOT a hussy! D:
Elouise Warrock 09/29/17 Autumn liver is a fickle b*tch.
Elouise Warrock 09/29/17 Autumn
As long as the nugget gets fed.
I need a bloody mary.
Elouise Warrock 09/29/17 Autumn
Is Lucius still keeping Logan hostage?
I swear to god, he was serious about showing him every Disney film.
Elouise Warrock 09/29/17 Autumn
I think my liver is officially done.
Miryam 09/27/17 Congrats on profile of the day lovely!
WildKat 09/27/17 Congrats on PotD!
Elouise Warrock 09/25/17 Autumn
What even happened last night?
Elouise Warrock 09/24/17 Groupchat: Dalcas
I'm still hungover.
But we're also going out tonight.
Elouise Warrock 09/23/17 Autumn
Can we get really, really drunk tonight?
Just hammered.
Elouise Warrock 09/23/17 Autumn
I took an Uber from the airport.
I'm near-ish.
Logan is sleeping, and mama needs a glass of wine.
Elouise Warrock 09/23/17 Autumn
I thought Lucius was surprising you!
Elouise Warrock 09/11/17 Autumn
He's a monster. And I'll never let him have my son. That's just a given.
Always safe. Same to you. Love you and Lucy. ❤️
Elouise Warrock 09/11/17 Autumn
Logan was early. I was banking on some time to figure out a game plan.
We're safe here, I think. It's weird... I don't believe he'd hurt him. That doesn't mean others wouldn't jump at the chance.
Elouise Warrock 09/11/17 Autumn
He knows about Logan. We had a run in in Moscow not so long ago. But now, he's trying to follow me to Africa.
Elouise Warrock 09/09/17 Autumn
I feel like the worst BFF for not texting you while I was in London. Didn't have any time to socialize, but I still feel like sh*t. Jameson f*cked my trip up royally.
Elouise Warrock 08/27/17 Autumn
Oh, did the rest of that text not send?
I wasn't cute. I was the CUTEST.
Elouise Warrock 08/27/17 Autumn
I think I have one or two pictures of me as a wee one.
I wasn't that cute.
Elouise Warrock 08/27/17 Autumn
He's getting so big! :'(
It's stressing me out. I can't seem to take enough pictures.
Elouise Warrock 08/27/17 Autumn
Same here. You've been here for all of it, and somehow you still put up with me.
Love you, you silly goose.
P.S., Logan may or may not be wearing those little booties you got us for Christmas.
Elouise Warrock 08/27/17 Autumn
I give him a special hug & kiss just from you every day. Because I know well enough. ;)
We'll get together soon. Logan needs some ginger love.
Elouise Warrock 08/27/17 Autumn
It was nice! Good to get outside. And make Lucius hold the baby. Y'know. Standard stuff.
Elouise Warrock 08/27/17 Autumn
He's lucky he's so cute.
Takes after his momma! 😍
Elouise Warrock 08/27/17 Autumn
He's for sale. $5 or best offer.
Elouise Warrock 08/26/17 Autumn
Oh, you know...
Just snuggling!
Elouise Warrock 08/25/17 Autumn
I miss you!
Summer 08/21/17 Birthday Babe
I hope your day is fantastic. I just know this year is going to be your best yet. Of that I have no doubt. You deserve nothing but the best.
In the box, youíll find some earrings made by an artist here in Australia, made with opals mined here! And some emeralds for added elegance. They nearly called for me to buy them, knowing how amazing theyíd look on you.
Enjoy. I love you dearly!!

Elouise Warrock 08/09/17 Autumn
I will exchange one baby picture for every muffin.
Elouise Warrock 08/09/17 Autumn
Send me baked goods.
Pretty sure your baking cures cancer.
Elouise Warrock 08/09/17 Autumn
I'm snuggling his little butt right now.
Still doesn't change a thing.
Elouise Warrock 08/09/17 Autumn
Of course it would be different.
There was a time where I was included. Now everyone feels I must be left in the dark for my own protection.
Elouise Warrock 08/08/17 Autumn
Of everything.
I'm not being taken seriously because I'm a mother.
Jameson is my husband, yet everyone is keeping me in the dark.
Elouise Warrock 08/08/17 Autumn
He's getting in the way.
Elouise Warrock 08/08/17 Autumn
I haven't heard anything since the night you left.
I'm just sitting here, waiting for someone to tell me something about my husband.
Elouise Warrock 08/07/17 Autumn
If it felt like we were married, I'd know, right?
It shouldn't even be a question.
I don't know.
Elouise Warrock 08/07/17 Autumn
I don't actually know if we're still married.
Is that weird? I guess it's weird.
Elouise Warrock 08/07/17 Autumn
Ugh. I know. Check your email inbox. It'll be swarmed with Logan pictures imminently.
Omg. Two months?? OMG.
9/27/17 will mark one year for Jameson and I.
WTF on that account, too.
Elouise Warrock 08/07/17 Autumn
All baby dates are Lucius-inclusive.
Speaking of baby dates, I can't believe he's almost a month old.
Elouise Warrock 08/07/17 Autumn
He IS super snuggly. :')
Skype date soon? You can see how much chunkier he's gotten.
Elouise Warrock 08/06/17 Autumn
Logan misses you taking him for several hours so his mommy can go drink.
Summer 08/02/17 Domestic Goddess
If you're still in a baking mood, Kiernan reports he likes 'samoas'. Didn't know what the fvck those were, so I googled them. Now I know why I didn't: guess they are Girl Scout cookies. I don't recall seeing any girl scouts come to our house growing up, haha. Probably were warned away by their parents.
Anyway. So I guess just some coconuty, caramely, chocolatey goodness would do. You're the kitchen witch, I'm sure you could concoct something amazing of the sort.
Winter stopped by for a visit. It sure was nice seeing his face. Where do you and Lucius live? I still owe you a visit.
Summer 07/24/17 Funny Girl
I laughed way too hard at your text. Maybe I should ask Kiernan if he was dropped on his head too. I don't think I know him well enough for that though.
For real though, we have like, the entire Samsonite set worth of baggage. It's a cute set though. Best believe we pack our crazy stylishly!
I'll ask Kiernan what type of cookie he likes. I meant it when I said we don't know a whole lot about each other. Knowing someone's Top Three Favorite Cookies seems pretty important, so I'll get on that crucial conversation as soon as I can.
Tech stuff, eh? What exactly does Lucius do? Or is that 'proprietary information'?
Summer 07/24/17 Domestic Goddess
My stomach just growled at the thought of your baking. There's one thing for your 'to-do' list. Send your dear, sweet, cooking-challenged sister a care package of noms??
You are smart as a whip, focused, driven, and talented. I have no doubt you'll figure out stuff soon. Meanwhile, enjoy the down time. You deserve it.
Things are good on this end. Winter is here for a visit, which is nice. I haven't spent quality time with him since London I think.
As for Kiernan, well, we went on a date. And I'm just adjusting to this idea that I'm someone who dates. Or is dated. It's weird. A very foreign concept. It is as jarring a thought as when I realized I had wings. Like, so I guess this is me now? He hasn't run, which means he deserves a medal of some sort, haha. At least a participants ribbon. "Survived a date with Summer and didn't lose my goddamned mind".

I look forward to that care package. :D
Summer 07/24/17 Hot Stuff
You still honeymooning? I hope so.
I thought of you when I was shopping today. Check out these shoes I bought. For work, of course. They glow under black lights!
Elouise Warrock 07/23/17 Autumn
I love Jameson.
But that love pales in comparison to what I feel for this little boy.
Elouise Warrock 07/23/17 Autumn
My happiness is a product of Logan's.
Elouise Warrock 07/23/17 Autumn
My child is safe, and happy.
Nothing else is as important.
Elouise Warrock 07/23/17 Autumn
Always waiting.
Elouise Warrock 07/23/17 Autumn
There's something they're all not telling me.
It can't be good.
Elouise Warrock 07/23/17 Autumn
He's not my Jamie anymore.
Elouise Warrock 07/21/17 Autumn
Just wanted to let you know (and Lucius), that everything's okay.
I'll be fine.
He's alive. He's with Noura and Jason. I guess...that's all that matters.
Elouise Warrock 07/20/17 Elouise blinks, considering her words carefully. She recalled the prior discussion. She understood. "No. Not yet. If Logan is here...Jameson will come looking."
Elouise Warrock 07/20/17 "I think you and Lucius both should go." She replied quietly. "Once the security system defaults." There is a stillness to her then, as looks her friend over. "I don't know what happens, now. With me, and with Jameson. I don't know if he's the same person. But..."

She glanced down at Logan, allowing him to take hold of her pointer finger. "I have to be here for him. I have to see this through."
Elouise Warrock 07/20/17 Bloodshot eyes stared up at Autumn, emotionless. "Jameson's..." She suddenly becomes aware of Logan's wailing, enough for her to pull back from Autumn and gather him up in her arms. "Jason's going to him. Noura's already there. Wherever the hell he is...everyone gets to know but me."

There is an obvious resentment in her tone, now. "I love him. I love him enough to walk away from all of this...and I can't even get a phone call, or a text. Not even a mention of his well-being."
Elouise Warrock 07/20/17 Autumn
I'm in my room.
Come take Logan, please.
Elouise Warrock 07/20/17 Autumn
that seems presumptuous~
i'm snugglin with the boy right now.
bring cheeseburgers
Elouise Warrock 07/20/17 Autumn
I'll let u hold Wolverine
Elouise Warrock 07/20/17 Autumn
hungover am need food pls and champagne thank u pls bye
Elouise Warrock 07/20/17 Autumn
omg where r u
this bar is FULL of nice man butts
Elouise Warrock 07/18/17 Autumn
You can hold him for as long as you want. Sh*t.
Elouise Warrock 07/18/17 Autumn
Interim* kitchen wench, then.
...maybe one butt touch. But a nice touch.
Elouise Warrock 07/18/17 Autumn
I guess I'll have to buy my bread from the store.
You're my new kitchen wench.
Elouise Warrock 07/17/17 Autumn
How good are you at making mac n cheese?
Summer 07/11/17 Baby sis
How did you get so wise, sissy-pants?
After reading your emails, I had a good long sit-n-stare with the wall. Well, me and my bong did.
I think...I think I'm gonna try to take your advise. What's the worst that could happen?
Or rather, what's the best that could happen? I could end up like you, blissed out and happy.
I'm scared though. Anyway. Thank you for your words and wisdom. I still don't get how you got so wise!
Elouise Warrock 07/10/17 Autumn
He's my guy. Always will be.
Might kick his ass when he comes home, but I'll always love him.
Elouise Warrock 07/10/17 Autumn
...something about Jameson.
I'd have a f*cking litter.
Elouise Warrock 07/10/17 Autumn
Mine work a little too well.
Wolverine is a prime example of that.
Elouise Warrock 07/10/17 Autumn
I said something similar once...
Elouise Warrock 07/10/17 Autumn
Wishful thinking, on your part. You just want more babies. ;)
Elouise Warrock 07/10/17 Autumn
Hard enough to protect one child on my own.
Wouldn't risk anymore.
Elouise Warrock 07/10/17 Autumn
He's so f*cking cute.
But no more.
Elouise Warrock 07/10/17 Autumn
It's his smile!
Elouise Warrock 07/10/17 Autumn
He developed a cure for cancer.
Elouise Warrock 07/10/17 Autumn
I think Logan is a baby genius.
Summer 07/09/17 Autumn
I'm glad it makes sense. Things felt different when I returned; my body, myself- I respond differently to things? Like, spiritual places feel almost nourishing so to speak. Hell, maybe they are. I don't get it most of the time.
Anyway, it's comforting to hear it isn't just me though.
Related-unrelated-whatever- when you and Lucius first got together. Like, romantically. How did you get past the barriers? The mental ones?
Sorry if that is too heavy to ask while you're trying to relax and bask in love!! You can respond later, when you're back to real life.
Summer 07/09/17 Autumn
I can practically smell the flowers and spices, practically hear the sounds of the city streets and the languages around me.
That temple though...I need to visit it. The picture alone looks very serene and close to source. If that makes sense. Being in those places makes me feel whole. I'm not even stoned, I mean it.
I'm really glad you're having a sublime time. It looks relaxing and romantic-the exact combination for a perfect honeymoon, imo!
Elouise Warrock 07/09/17 Autumn
Soon enough. Before he gets too big.
He just woke up from his nap.
Elouise Warrock 07/09/17 Autumn
He gave Summer a run for her money!
Elouise Warrock 07/09/17 Autumn
He was 8 pounds at birth. Still premature. Pretty sure if I had carried him to term I would have ripped in half. WTF.
Only four fingers. Total. He's got permanent Spock hands.
KIDDING. He's all put together. I promise.
And he has the cheesiest smile ever. :)
Elouise Warrock 07/09/17 Autumn
He's so snuggly. And his tummy? Omg.
His rolls have rolls. The boy is THICC.
Elouise Warrock 07/09/17 Autumn
He's too f*cking cute to be an Orlav.
Elouise Warrock 07/09/17 Autumn
He's good. I'm good. We're all good.
And yeah! Logan Jameson Orlav.
...or Warrock. I think he's more of a Warrock.
Elouise Warrock 07/08/17 Autumn
...that might be perfect.
Logan? Omg.
Elouise Warrock 07/08/17 Autumn
I'm naming him Wolverine.
Elouise Warrock 07/08/17 Autumn
Are you pregnant?
Middle name it is then.
Elouise Warrock 07/08/17 Autumn
Lucius Jr. it is!
Elouise Warrock 07/08/17 Autumn
Nope. Pretty sure he's the Enola Gay and my garden is Hiroshima.
Elouise Warrock 07/08/17 Autumn
My secret garden was just weed-wacked by a f*cking tiny, screaming goblin.
I'm naming him Hulk.
Elouise Warrock 07/08/17 Autumn*t. I'm straight out of ideas.
Elouise Warrock 07/08/17 Autumn
Yes you do. Duh. Sit, stay, roll over, don't sh*t yourself...the mf basics.
Rambo is a great f*ckin name.
I'm going to name him Elouise Junior.
Elouise Warrock 07/08/17 Autumn
Is it like a dog? I can't teach him tricks until he has a name, right?
No. Jameson and didn't discuss names. I don't know if Rambo was legitimate or a joke, now...Omg. Can I name him Rambo?
Elouise Warrock 07/07/17 Autumn
He doesn't have a name.
Elouise Warrock 07/07/17 Autumn; Lucius
Summer 07/07/17 New Bride
It looks like someone is living the sweet life- deservedly so! You know, I've never been to India. That picture alone has it bumping up the list. The food alone....omg the food. Get in mah belly.
Elouise Warrock 07/06/17 Autumn
New life.
Sometimes I forget he's happening.
Elouise Warrock 07/06/17 Autumn
What if he doesn't want to come back?
Elouise Warrock 07/06/17 Autumn
He's most likely dead.
I should be, too.
Elouise Warrock 07/06/17 Autumn
I'm not interested in a life without him.
Elouise Warrock 07/06/17 Autumn
When I wake up every morning, there's a few minutes where reality hasn't yet set in. And then I reach for a man that isn't there, and it all comes crashing down again.
I wasn't meant to do this alone.
Elouise Warrock 07/05/17 Autumn

Elouise Warrock 06/25/17 Autumn
Thank you for this, Autumn.
We'll talk more once you're here.
Elouise Warrock 06/25/17 Autumn
Let me know when you arrive.
I've established new security protocols.
Elouise Warrock 06/25/17 Autumn
Jameson is missing.
I don't know what to do.
Elouise Warrock 06/25/17 Autumn
Do you have a secure line to communicate?
Ask Lucius.
This is serious.
Elouise Warrock 06/25/17 Autumn
I need you.
Elouise Warrock 06/19/17 Autumn
I love you, even married.
You know I'm selfish.
Elouise Warrock 06/19/17 Autumn
I don't know where tf Jason is.
It doesn't matter, I'm up. I'm going to bake Winter cookies so he doesn't kill us all.
I'm grumpy. GDI.
Elouise Warrock 06/19/17 Autumn
Ellie will burn. Ellie wants to burn. Ellie has not slept in two days because Rambo is doing somersaults in her f*cking ovaries.
I don't know where tf Jameson is. He only responds to my texts if I say I'm in labor.
Elouise Warrock 06/19/17 Autumn
It can burn.
My feet and ankles are so sore and swollen I wouldn't be able to help him, or escape.
Elouise Warrock 06/19/17 Autumn
I live with Jameson. I will have a half-me, half-Jameson baby.
My life has been over since he kissed me.
So long as you, Summer, and Winter are here to take me out once this satan spawn is born, take as long as you'd like in India!
Elouise Warrock 06/19/17 Autumn
Almost there still isn't THERE. I need this little assh*le out ASAP.
India sounds lovely! Promise to send pictures. Now that my life is almost over, I will live vicariously through you.
Elouise Warrock 06/19/17 Autumn
I'm fine, Rambo is ready to GTFO.
Where are you honeymooning?
Elouise Warrock 06/18/17 Autumn
Adore you and miss you.
How is Lucy?
Victor Lockheed 06/13/17 Thanks, Red. Good to be back.
Summer 06/10/17 Autumn
I'm really happy for you!
Summer 06/10/17 Autumn
I wager I will be the last Summers. Guaranteed. Winter will find some fella who will sweep him off his feet, then I'll be the last man standing!
I look forward to the party. I won't get too trashed, swear.
Summer 06/10/17 Mrs.
I had this crazy dream a while back in which I got hitched (??!!) and you and Winter got super pissed at me for not inviting to the big event.
Weird dream, yo.
CONGRATS!!! I'm happy for you! And will 100% not be staying at Chez Honeymoon when I come to London! At least that settles that.
Did you have a proper wedding? Did you wear white? Did you get presents? Are you going on a honeymoon? Those last two things are literally the only reason I can see to get hitched.
And...did you change your name?
Elouise Warrock 06/10/17 Autumn
My gift to you will be...
Rambo! You can keep him! Woo!
Elouise Warrock 06/10/17 Autumn
Omg. If you waited until after Rambo... He could be the flower boy. Or the ring bearer. And I could drink!
Elouise Warrock 06/10/17 Autumn
I'm so happy for the both of you! I love you!
Now I have to go threaten Lucius.
Elouise Warrock 06/10/17 Autumn
Elouise Warrock 06/02/17 Autumn
Kick Jameson in the nuts, and you won't have to!
Elouise Warrock 06/02/17 Autumn
I'll send pictures of it.
Kick him in the nuts, then. I don't care.
Elouise Warrock 06/02/17 Autumn
Nature can kiss my ass.
I don't know if it will. Will Jameson still love me? What if it looks like a CSI crime scene?
Elouise Warrock 06/02/17 Autumn
It's called a voluntary c-section, my friend. Hell if I'm ruining my downstairs this early in life.
Elouise Warrock 06/02/17 Autumn
Yeah? Don't worry, I'll film the birth and send it to you.
August 21st seems like a good birthday for Rambo. Let's do it.
Elouise Warrock 06/02/17 Autumn
When's your birthday? I can hold him in or squat him out. Gives me less dates to memorize.
Elouise Warrock 06/02/17 Autumn
Mid-August, bbygurl.
You can help Jameson deliver said spawn, if you so desire.
...not that you would.
Elouise Warrock 06/02/17 Autumn
Booze and pot sound like a goddamn dream come true right about now.
Elouise Warrock 06/02/17 Autumn
Of course I'll come.
An excuse to have my three favorite siblings on one place??
Elouise Warrock 06/01/17 Autumn
Visit from Winter? Summer? ...Summer's 'friend'? What kinda friend? OOOOO.
It's a surprise, woman. Jeez.
Trista is f*cking Satan. The visit went as expected.
Elouise Warrock 06/01/17 Autumn
I love your brother. And you. And Lucius. And Summer!
How are you? When are you back in London? I have a present!
Summer 05/31/17 Autumn
I forget that about you, your love and talent in cooking! Homecooked meals sound perfect. I fully understand the feeling of flitting about. Hell, I've only just started unpacking in my room in Sydney. Living out of a suitcase for nearly half leaves much to be desired. Funny, since not too lohg ago, I was stuck and unable to leave. One would think I'd hate to stay in one spot for too long. Which I guess is kinda true.
Summer 05/31/17 Autumn
To answer your questions: I'm not entirely sure!
I'm guessing I'll head back to Sydney after, unless something else catches my attention. I hadn't planned that far ahead.
I have no idea if he eats or drinks. Make no fuss on our account. We'll be in and out anyway.
Summer 05/30/17 Autumn
To be truthful, I hadn't thought that far ahead. I am not sure how long we are staying. It was intended on being a quick trip before knowing a visit was included. To my understanding, he mentioned he doesn't really sleep. So I guess he won't need a room. An empty balcony or quiet rooftop would be sufficient as far as I can tell.
I don't care much for that town, Autumn. I very much treasure our visit in Paris. That was fun!
Summer 05/30/17 Autumn
Of course the friend has a name. It's Kiernan. He's like me, kinda. Showing me the ropes 'n stuff. Maybe I can learn to control things without weed.
Not that I want to. It's just a nice option, not having the monkey on my back.
I'm surprised our idiot parents didn't not name one of us. name. Doesn't that seem like some dumb sh!t they'd pull? Fvck those guys. Hard. And not in the good way.
Summer 05/29/17 Autumn
Damn shame. I guess I'll just empty the bottle then, lest it go to waste.
A friend from Azhi.
Summer 05/29/17 Autumn
I'll be dragging a friend along for the ride.
Does Blaize or Sky have a grave marker? Maybe I'll pop by and drop a flower or bottle off.
Summer 05/29/17 Autumn
There is some loose strings that I need to handle in London, so I suppose a trip is in order regardless of phantom-not-phantom men.
Plus, I think I can hear your plants crying from Sydney! It's just heartbreaking!
Summer 05/29/17 Autumn
Mulțumesc, soră!
Save travels back to the homeland. I was gonna head there myself, but that mysterious dude with messages from the grave stopped texting. Hmm, maybe I was just really fvkcin high and conjured up his existence entirely.
I'm gonna go contemplate that right now.
Elouise Warrock 05/24/17 Autumn
...don't damage the baby makers.
I expect a very large family.
...okay so maybe one kick.
Elouise Warrock 05/24/17 Autumn
Best option? No.
But it's a secure compound.
He probably wouldn't drag my ass back if I went.
Your poor brother is going to blow his brains out.
Elouise Warrock 05/24/17 Autumn
I think I want to be with my mother.
I think Winter would off himself if he had to endure her.
Elouise Warrock 05/24/17 Autumn
I think I just need to leave Moscow for a while.
Elouise Warrock 05/24/17 Autumn
Let me know when you're back in London.
Maybe I'll come visit.
Elouise Warrock 05/23/17 Autumn
Maybe he's having an affair.
I don't know.
I don't care, anymore. I'm used to not being enough.
Elouise Warrock 05/23/17 Autumn
...I'm talking straight from my vay, girl.
But seriously. Jameson is so cute. I have a feeling I'm going to end up with like...12 Orlavs.
Elouise Warrock 05/23/17 Autumn
I'll give you babies!
Elouise Warrock 05/23/17 Autumn
I'm willing to pimp you out to him from time to time.
As long as I get snuggles. Jameson is the only other person who lets me drool on them.
...well. Winter does, but not really by choice.
Elouise Warrock 05/23/17 Autumn
Will you marry me, then?
Elouise Warrock 05/23/17 Autumn
So, what's the verdict? Do we like the family?
Are we getting wifed up, here?!
Omg. If not, you can always come co-parent Rambo with me.
Elouise Warrock 05/23/17 Autumn
I'll always be here for Winter.
And you, too. So sorry about your sister, gorgeous.
Summer 05/21/17 Autumn
Good news about Spring.
You stay safe as well. Have fun visiting the in-laws...I mean...Lucius' family! :D
PS If you could pick up a bottle of Țuică while you're there, that'd be fantastic. Believe it or not, it's hard to find.
Elouise Warrock 05/20/17 Autumn
You'll be his favorite aunt.
...not like you have much competition, but still.
Elouise Warrock 05/19/17 Autumn
There is always FaceTime!
...and I play Rambo the voicemails you left me when he gets rowdy.
He may just love you already. ❤️
Elouise Warrock 05/19/17 Autumn
Rambo misses you too.
He was calm af when you'd talk to him.
Now he just kicks my bladder.
Elouise Warrock 05/19/17 Autumn
Hey stranger.
I miss you.
Summer 05/15/17 She took a while before responding to her sister. The angel was indeed triggered. The invocation of her presumably deceased brother. What she perceived was a brush off. Isolation from her family-a trigger very deeply ingrained and tangled with a host of other issues. The conclusion that Blaize was in hell. All the feelings surrounding that- running the gamut from fear to familiarity.
Lastly, the meta notion of being triggered seemed to be a trigger. This man wanted to meet? She couldn't even read and respond to a text without her feathers getting ruffled. Literally. White wings stretched out, the pink tips brushing against furniture as she paced in her room. Space. She needed more space.
Walking into the main room at the Azhi compound, Summer paced more, treading a path around the room. This man wanted to bequeath an estate here in Australia. The nerve. She'd moved into Blaize's home before, thinking she'd be with her family. Au contraire, the halls empty and cold with all her family enthralled elsewhere. It had been, unbeknownst to Summer, the straw that sent her deep.
And now her brother sent a puppet to talk in his stead. Taking a deep toke, Summer sat back on an oversized chair. Feeling more herself, she replied.

Alright I'm feeling a little better. Nothin a little herb can't fix.
I am fairly certain his interest in talking to me has been rescinded after my last exchange. If I were to meet, my wings would be out. I'm not accustomed to having people see them. Isn't that funny? I take off my clothes for money, but won't let just anyone see that one part of me.
Sure. If Blaize can send a spokesperson, so can I, right? I only want words, something he never gave to me anyway. I have exchanged about three texts with this mystery man and it is nearly a longer convo than any I had with Blaize.
I do not accept the estate. Or any monetary inheritance. I'll send you my short list of charities for those.
I miss him too. And worry for him, especially if he is where I think he is.
I appreciate you, sissypants.
Summer 05/15/17 Autumn
I already told him where I am. I'm presently on holiday in Santorini, trying to fvcking relax but there's too many god damned tourists and I these texts from this fvcking grifter....
I need to blow off some steam. So help me god, if a hot cabana boy walks by, I'm gonna play "fvck, marry, kill" on one single person.
I don't think I can meet this person face to face. I can't keep it together. My wings...and...I can't. I'm trying but I can't figure out how to control it. Aside from blessed drugs.
Summer 05/15/17 Autumn
Sober. Yes. Again, still. Who fvckin knows.
If I were a good angel, I'd listen. Do unto others and all that horse sh!t.
You're the one he wants to talk to. That has been made abundantly clear..
Apparently there is an estate in Australia. Perhaps you can stay there and regale me with the story someday.
Summer 05/15/17 And just like that, her newfound buzz started to wear off as her wings threatened to make another appearance. Letting out a hiss of steam, Summer tapped out her reply.

I concur with all of what you say.
This supposed "inheritance"? Don't want it.
Information about Blaize? Blaize spoke approximately three sentences to me since I got back (NOT an exaggeration). And now he sends some sulphuric lackey to have a conversation?
Summer 05/15/17 Autumn
I got a text from some bellend talking about Blaize. Never got his name, didn't care to ask.
Just replied, actually. me worked up. Smoking now to settle myself.
Be careful with him.
Mackenzie 05/14/17 You'd think the Realm would realize that Mackenzie Brooks has a low bullsh-t tolerance, but no. Apparently not. There are still some who think the seasoned veteran of mayhem is someone to be trifled with, and it rather amuses her. The girl who chooses to test those boundaries this evening is far from slick, chubby fingers digging right into her pocket and wiggling as if she had all the room in the world.

What is with this millennial generation in the Realm? Tact has gone out the window, obviously. No care to perfect their skills, and it is both sad and unimpressive.

Nevertheless, Mackenzie sighs and allows the girl to think she's doing a great job, even going so far as to slow her pace as she walks. There is a small amount of cash in her pocket, and obviously this girl needs it more than her.

Poor thing.

A icy cold glance is tossed over her shoulder, blue eyes boring into the girl. She'd take the money, and Mackenzie would give her a tip.

"Next time, try to pick a less alert target."

Autumn Summers just stole $87.00 from you!
Summer 05/03/17
Elouise Warrock 05/03/17
Jameson Orlav 05/03/17 *flexes*
Jameson Orlav 05/03/17
Caitlyn Darrow 05/02/17 *Inadvertently shoves poster in face*
Does this make me look sexy?
Elouise Warrock 05/02/17 Oh my god. I love you.
Summer 05/01/17 Hellcat
Well, that certainly isn't the news I was expecting.
Be careful. He's been nice to me, but I know that's just one aspect of him.
....Autumn....the Brothers are there. I saw them. I thought they were my punishment. Just...please stick to Lucius' side. Like glue.
Above all-fvcking come back to me. Don't stay down there. I don't care how great it is or if you don't find Blaize or if he doesn't want to return. Come back. I need you to promise.
I can't fvcking lose any more of you.
Summer 05/01/17 Summer stared at her phone and tried to remember if vampires could get pregnant. What else could Autumn be so hush-hush about? Trying to hold down excitement at being an auntie, she sent her reply.

Hot Mama
My lips are sealed. What's up?
Elouise Warrock 05/01/17 To be clear, Elouise and Autumn were most certainly sneaking away with Summer to learn how to poll dance. F*ck Lucius. Well, wait. Lucius is nice.

"You had every right to be mad. I was totally insensitive..." Without another word, the blonde give an awkward, one armed hug to the ginger, having to stoop since she's 'fun-sized'. "You're my best friend too."
Elouise Warrock 05/01/17 For the record, Elouise probably would have preferred her nude. Nevertheless, she stuffs her working hand into the pocket of her jeans, feet scuffing the floor beneath her. "I'm sorry I lied, and made you worry, and hurt you. I was reckless, and unfair, and stupid."

After a painful pause, she lifts her gaze. "You were right."
Elouise Warrock 04/30/17 As it was clear that Autumn would be ignoring her texts, (she was, of course, unaware the woman had broken her phone), Elouise manages to get herself out of bed to go and knock on the door that no doubt housed Lucius and Autumn on the other end.

"Are you still ignoring me? Can we talk, please?" She pauses. "'s Elouise, in case you didn't realize." Smooth.
Summer 04/29/17 Juggling her purse, two bouquets of flowers, a suitcase, a laptop carrier and a joint delicately grasped between two fingers, Summer was unable to fish her phone out of her purse. Had she known an obituary was needed for yet another of her fiery sister's devices, she'd not even considered it. Ringing the doorbell again, she lifted her chin up and yelled in a sing-song voice, loud enough to wake the dead,
"Elouise! Autumn!!! I'm here! Open the f-cking door, I'm freezing my god damned t!ts off out here!"
Elouise Warrock 04/29/17 Autumn
I'll get out of bed and come to your room if you don't answer.
Your choice.
Elouise Warrock 04/29/17 Autumn
Are you still ignoring me?
Summer 04/29/17 Autumn
Sissypants- I just landed (omg finally). I have a driver- now I just need the address. And any code or whatever to get in. Name on the list, whatever. I guess I could tell security I am there for Elouise's stripper lessons. They'd be like "oh yea, we've been expecting you".
Winter is being curious. Like, more so than normal. If you see him before I arrive, stall his ass. I need to see him.
Jameson Orlav 04/29/17 Autumn
It's alright. I'm taking care of it. Elouise is not going to be leaving the compound for a while. She bares a striking resemblance to Rapunzel, don't you think?
Elouise Warrock 04/29/17 Autumn
Oh my god. I didn't even leave The Order's grounds. If you had bothered to check beyond my room, you'd know that.
I lied because I'm not supposed to be out of bed, Autumn. I have protection, I'm not an idiot. And Jason is patrolling, regardless.

Don't bring my f*cking kid into this, or our friendship. You know I love you, Autumn.
You have no idea how frustrated I am, sitting in that room all day, totally f*cking hapless. I needed to feel the air on my bones. Is that so much to ask? For a moment to myself, outside of that glorified prison cell?
Elouise Warrock 04/29/17 Autumn
I didn't ask Jameson to square away babysitters. I went for a walk, Autumn, because I wanted to be alone.
Keep Jameson out of this.
Elouise Warrock 04/28/17 Autumn
I'll be home shortly.
Don't worry about it, Autumn.
I'm a f*cking adult.
Elouise Warrock 04/28/17 Autumn
I, quite honestly, have no idea what you're talking about.
I'm right where you left me.
Go to sleep, Autumn.
Elouise Warrock 04/28/17 Autumn
Walking my goldfish.
Summer 04/28/17 Autumn
I don't care how cute a pilot or the flight attendant is, how much complimentary champagne they keep pushing on me, or how much leg room I have on this Dassault Falcon- transcontinental flights are a f-ckin drag. I think we're somewhere over Kazakhstan right now.

I'm just really looking forward to seeing you and Winter. Maybe Blaize's...disappearance? Death? Maybe it's hitting harder than I thought. Could be why I'm spending my time fantasizing putting one of my feathers into whoever shot Elouise's eye. God, that'd be glorious.
Ooo, they're bringing me fresh baked cookies. See ya soon!
Elouise Warrock 04/28/17 Autumn
You know where the extra rooms are?
I love you tons!
Elouise Warrock 04/28/17 -squints at-
What the hell are you still doing here?
Oh. Oh wait. Are you and Lucius staying on the compound?
You probably should.
-pokes arm-
...speaking of, he's probably missing you. I've hogged enough Autumn time today.
Summer 04/28/17 A
Moscow is only 7 hours behind Sydney time. Trippy, yea?
I know Lucius has some business to tend to- making my vials!!! Or, you know, whatever you guys got going on. 😇
Summer 04/28/17 Autumn
Hmm. In Moscow? I suppose I could use some vodka and borscht. Not together though. That is disgusting.
I just texted a pilot I know. Don't ask. Or ask, I am an open book. Anyway. He says if I get my ass to the airport now, it's about an 18 hour flight. So...see you tomorrow?
I'll bring some "medicinals" for El. Wait, she's still pregs. Okay, more for me then.
Summer 04/28/17 Autumn daze
Mushrooms: I like to eat them and apparently I am one- I had not heard any pregnant women had been shot. Who the f-ck is gonna be on the business end of a roasting spit for f-cking with our girl?
Mushrooms, roasting spits...apparently I am hungry!
Elouise Warrock 04/28/17 If only.
-yawns again-
I'm not even tired, I swear.
-leans on, already drooling-
Elouise Warrock 04/28/17 Is that so? Well, your in my...arm. So.
-tired yawn-
We can always run away together, any time. I'm sure Jameson wouldn't mind.
Elouise Warrock 04/28/17 It's just a snack...
Of course I'll share with you! You're my sister-friend.
Elouise Warrock 04/28/17 ...two pizzas. Extra cheese. And extra meat. All of the meats.
Oh! And mozzarella sticks, French fries...I'm not really that hungry, so maybe just one extra order of pierogies with that.
Elouise Warrock 04/28/17 Oh. Jameson usually just brings stuffed-crust pizza.
I am literally counting down the days until Rambo is here. ...mama needs tequila.
Elouise Warrock 04/28/17 Sh*t. You caught my plan.
I can buzz him in, if he'd like. He doesn't have to lurk like he's my ex-husband.
Elouise Warrock 04/28/17 I only have a half-brother, and he's a sh*t. I can imagine...
-wraps good arm around-
I'm sure it has been, babes. But, we can be miserable together, right? wine date later?
Elouise Warrock 04/28/17 What?
Oh. Oh my god. Autumn.
-reaches for hand-
Sorry, my brain is so foggy.
Elouise Warrock 04/28/17 Well, if I wasn't shot, or, y'know, pregnant, I'd be in a position to be useful to my husband.
-licks cream cheese off a finger-
So instead, I get to sit here and wonder if anyone has died yet. It's great.
Elouise Warrock 04/28/17 -tired smile-
Thanks, Autumn. That means a lot.
I'm useless, so...I'll just be here, eating.
Elouise Warrock 04/28/17 Well, it's not like I'll be going anywhere. And I have Winter!
-prods with good arm-
Thanks for coming. You really didn't have to.
Elouise Warrock 04/28/17 Food is always welcome!
-already trying to stuff bagel into her mouth-
...m'fine. You?
Elouise Warrock 04/28/17 -drugged and grumpy-
Too early for...
-food is mentioned-
I mean, hi! Come in.
Elouise Warrock 04/27/17 Autumn
You're still my soulmate!
Elouise Warrock 04/27/17 Autumn
Why didn't I marry you?
Elouise Warrock 04/27/17 Autumn
Hey, at least love and marriage came before the baby.
I'm a hot mess, so I even surprised myself with that one.
Elouise Warrock 04/27/17 Autumn
See, Jameson disguised his proposal as a business trip.
...and then we got sh*t faced and then married.
Same scenario created Rambo. 😎
Elouise Warrock 04/27/17 Autumn
He's a keeper.
I'd put a ring on that, if I were you...
Elouise Warrock 04/27/17 Autumn
So long as you don't tattle to Lucius!
He's incredibly anal retentive over my diet. London was a trip with him.
Elouise Warrock 04/27/17 Autumn
...secret red wine date?
Pretty please? 😇
Elouise Warrock 04/27/17 Autumn
I think I'm just overtired.
Winter is here now.
See you soon?
Elouise Warrock 04/27/17 Autumn
No, I won't give it up. Not unless it's what's best for him.
Of course he's the best thing that has ever happened to me. Jameson is the love of my life. I don't know where I'd be if I hadn't met him.
Elouise Warrock 04/27/17 Autumn
Sometimes love just complicates things.
Elouise Warrock 04/27/17 Autumn
I'm not a stellar person.
He definitely does.
Elouise Warrock 04/27/17 Autumn
How should I know he'd become a monster?
I never get the full story anyway.
Elouise Warrock 04/27/17 Autumn
Yes. I couldn't place why, at first.
The box of photos Jameson keeps in his desk drawer confirmed my assumptions.
Cole was his friend, once. His colleague, confidante. Everything.
Elouise Warrock 04/27/17 Autumn
I almost got my son killed. Point blank range, Autumn. That lunatic could have done whatever he wanted, and I put myself into the situation because my curiosity got in the way of sensibility.

Do you have any idea what that would have done to Jameson?
He deserves a wife who doesn't do reckless sh*t, and a baby whose mother can protect it.
Jameson Orlav 04/27/17 Autumn
Maybe not. But I'm sure there is no place for you in hell, either. Your curse should not dictate your eternity, my friend. As for Lucius... He loves you. If you never heed another piece of advice from me again; follow your heart in all things. He will come around, or he won't. But you already know what's right or you wouldn't be asking.
Elouise Warrock 04/27/17 Autumn
I'd be just as safe with Trista.
And then Jameson wouldn't to worry.

I put a helpless life in the line of fire.
My judgement is sh*t. So I'll do what Jim needs and say what he needs to hear. I shouldn't have been so f*cking stupid.
Jameson Orlav 04/27/17 Autumn
What's this about? Are you alright?
Jameson Orlav 04/27/17 Autumn
That is a very hard question. It honestly would depend on the circumstances and the livelihood of everyone involved. Elouise and Noura mean everything. And my son...

I have to believe in hell. I find that I need to believe there is some eternal justice for the evil in the world.
Elouise Warrock 04/27/17 Autumn
I think it would be easier for Jameson if I weren't in Moscow at all, but...
I know. But I'm stressed. I worry for his sanity, sometimes, dealing with all of this. It's too much of a burden for any man, even my husband.
Jameson Orlav 04/27/17 Autumn
There are few people whom I would give my life for.
My sister is one of them.
Elouise Warrock 04/27/17 Autumn
Don't think me obstinent when I insist that I am not helpless.
Pass that along to my husband, because I don't think he believes me when I say it isn't his fault.
I don't want him beating himself up. He has enough to worry about.
Jameson Orlav 04/27/17 Autumn
Of course he is welcome. Time is not a problem. You understand where I am coming from here, I'm sure. If anything happens where I need to be away, I just need someone around who we trust. Elouise kind of loves you, so I think that fits the bill.
Elouise Warrock 04/27/17 Autumn
Don't come just because Jameson asked.
I'm assuming he did, because I'm not stupid.
Elouise Warrock 04/27/17 Autumn
Aw. I love you.
But, I think this is Jameson's mission.
I'll see you soon, yeah? Can't be locked inside forever.
Elouise Warrock 04/27/17 Autumn
I know. And I didn't want to tell you, because I didn't need you plagued with more worry or grief.
I'm comfortable, I'm safe, and Jameson takes care of me. You can't help the past, right?
Jameson Orlav 04/27/17 Autumn
I might, but he's mine. El is doing okay, but may need an extra set of eyes in the future, possibly disguised as a friendly visit. Are you picking up what I'm throwing down, ging?
Elouise Warrock 04/27/17 Autumn
Look, I should have been more careful.
But also, it's just a shoulder wound. I'm fine.
Elouise Warrock 04/27/17 AUtumn
Elouise Warrock 04/26/17 Autumn
Okay, so first, relax. I'm fine. Jameson took it out and stitched me up, and now I'm sitting pretty with a bag of Cheetos.
And...Jameson's former best friend / Noura's ex-boyfriend? I don't know, it's 900 shades of really f*cked up around here.

Like I said, though:
Elouise Warrock 04/26/17 Autumn
People get shot all of the time. It's fine!

Autumn the cat's out of the bag.
Elouise Warrock 04/26/17 Autumn
Chalk it up to a Freudian slip?
Elouise Warrock 04/26/17 Autumn
I'm here no matter what, but you know that.
Lucky for you, I'm resilient.
Bullets don't got sh*t on me.

Hypothetically, of course.
Elouise Warrock 04/26/17 Autumn
Forget about me. Are you okay?
Are you in London? I can get on the next flight if you need me.
I'm so sorry, babes.
Elouise Warrock 04/26/17 Autumn
How are Lucy and the sibs?
I'm not allowed to leave the compound at the moment.
And I'm boooooored.
Elouise Warrock 04/26/17 Autumn
Hey, BFF. I miss you!
Summer 04/25/17 Autumn
It definitely does hurt.
Hang in there, sweets. If you need anything, let me know.
I love you too.
Summer 04/25/17 Autumn
I've heard from Winter. He's the last brother remaining.
I'm doing alright. As I told Winter, I guess maybe since I've been to the other side, I know it isn't that scary. I know maybe we'll see him again? Then again, I've never been the most balanced individual. So who knows.
I'm glad you're hanging in there. And I'm glad for Lucius. I know you and Blaize had a bond. I...have few words of comfort. Other than if we don't see him again, I'm sure he told lucifer to unseat the throne and to gtfo. But I remain hopeful. He's stronger than me, and I made it out. He can too.
Summer 04/25/17 Autumn
I heard the news. How are you holding up, baby sis?
Elouise Warrock 04/17/17 Autumn
I dressed up as a playboy bunny for Easter.
...except the zipper got stuck.
And then Jameson said putting on clothes was a waste of effort still together.
Needless to say, I've still got it. Or he has brain damage. ;)
Elouise Warrock 04/17/17 Autumn
Speaking of, you would be so proud of me.
Elouise Warrock 04/17/17 Autumn
I'm more partial to Grant Ward.
I'd climb that like a pole in a SECOND.
So would Jameson, apparently. Omfg.
Elouise Warrock 04/17/17 Autumn
Rambo is going to be lethal af. I'll just say 'cheese sandwich' in German and wake him up, Winter Soldier style.
Elouise Warrock 04/17/17 Autumn
It's not that pretty of a language. But Jameson could make anything hot.
And he's like...weirdly obsessed with turning my damn baby into a sleeper agent.
Elouise Warrock 04/17/17 Autumn
I agree! Any romance language is, really.
Jameson speaks...Czech? Polish?
I don't know. I don't understand it, but we play tapes to Rambo in his mother tongue.
Elouise Warrock 04/17/17 Autumn
I know Spanish, and how to speak drug dealer.
Useful as hell.
Elouise Warrock 04/17/17 Autumn
Me llamo un poco pero no mŠs bien.
Todo lo que necesitas saber decir es 'mŠs vino' y 'te quiero'.
En el espŪritu de eso, te amo mucho.
...I have a lot of time on my hands.
Elouise Warrock 04/17/17 Autumn
Well, it's usually fine. But I'm getting fat and have to pee all of the time.
Now I'm eating cheetos in bed. This is true damn love.
Elouise Warrock 04/17/17 Autumn
Adventuring is for days when my back isn't killing me / when Jameson isn't needy AF.
Today, my back is killing BECAUSE Jameson is needy AF. ;;))
Elouise Warrock 04/17/17 Autumn
My lips are sealed!
I'm never leaving this bed. I'm comfy AF.
Elouise Warrock 04/17/17 Autumn
Pregnant, not dead. ;)
Oh, omg. Okay. Are you two having fun?
Elouise Warrock 04/17/17 Autumn
Hold on. I need to put clothes on.
vamp_goku 04/16/17

Happy Easter! Muahaha!
Elouise Warrock 04/16/17 Autumn
My gorgeous best friend! Happy Easter!
What are you and Lucius up to today?
Elouise Warrock 04/14/17 Sistah
I already ate all of my Easter chocolate.
....can I blame Rambo?
Elouise Warrock 04/12/17 Autumn
I love you, and I love Lucius and I appreciate you both!
I left you both a note and a nice bottle of red.
Sick dog emergency!
Elouise Warrock 04/10/17 -pads in-
-wearing Panda onesie, hood and all-
I know I snore, mmkay.
-big, sleepy baby-
I'm here for pizza. And to use you as a human pillow again.
Elouise Warrock 04/10/17 Autumn
Sorry I fell asleep and drooled at brunch. And in the Maserati after brunch. And on your lap while we watched The Notebook. Generally just sorry for drooling.
...who tf carried me to bed? I'm so comfy. What's for dinner? Donuts?
Elouise Warrock 04/10/17 -stalks in-
-actually put together-
You kind of look like the llama, f-y-i.
Alright, woman. I'm starving, I require a limited quantity of alcohol, and some serious girl talk.
Elouise Warrock 04/10/17 Slave Driver
The jeans are on, woman.
And the real bra. So, you're getting the whole show.
I can't wait until I'm a mom and no one can judge me for walking around like the hot mess I am.
Elouise Warrock 04/10/17 Autumn
Wtf. It's brunch, not a wedding.
Some sort of vacation...
I'm only putting real pants on because I want waffles like no ones f*cking business.
Elouise Warrock 04/10/17 Autumn
Who wants their...y'know what, nevermind.
I love you. I literally love you so much.
Elouise Warrock 04/10/17 Autumn
Okay, Ms. Adorable. You've redeemed yourself.
Can we go get brunch? I want a mimosa.
Elouise Warrock 04/10/17 Autumn
That's because my husband is a buzzkill.
Except I crash and burn while walking, so...
Elouise Warrock 04/10/17 Autumn
You won't let me drive the car, Lucius won't let me have red wine...
What fresh hell is this?
Elouise Warrock 04/10/17 Autumn
When do I get to drive the car?
Elouise Warrock 04/10/17 Autumn
I am NEVER leaving this bed.

...well now I have to pee.
Elouise Warrock 04/09/17 Not even for naming rights?!
Alright. Fine. I'll live vicariously through you. Rambo may never forgive you, though.
Elouise Warrock 04/09/17 -squints-
I trust you. For now.
If you let me drive this around a cul-de-sac, I'll let you name this baby.
Elouise Warrock 04/09/17 ...fine. Fine.
-hair flip-
You know how to drive? Right? You're a good driver?
I don't have my license.
Elouise Warrock 04/09/17 -pauses at the car-
-stares blankly-
Autumn. Do I look like someone who is capable of going without tequila and weed any longer than I already have?
This is not human. And neither is the thing inside me. Definitely a f*cking alien.
Elouise Warrock 04/09/17 -pft's-
-links arms with-
He'll survive. And he'll be the perfect example of why birth control is so important! If I ever think a second kid is a good idea, just like, send me the recording of this one's birth. That'll change things.
Elouise Warrock 04/09/17 Yeah, well Noura's one of a kind. But she's family.
-pulls out phone-
Okay, okay. I'll ask!
Really? He can take Rambo any time, then. Like, say, for the first 18 years of his life.
Elouise Warrock 04/09/17 He must be close to some sort of break-through. I've just been harassing his sister while he's working. It's fun! Except I'm sort of afraid she's going to murder me one of these days. Anyways!
...what's that look for, giggles? Something you'd like to share with the class?
Elouise Warrock 04/09/17 I have a suitcase full of corn chips and got a pocket knife through airport security. I definitely have everything I need.
-clears throat-
Jameson got caught up. Y'know. With work. Is Winter in London? It's been like, two days. But I'm having cuddle withdrawal. The man's cuddle game is on point.
Elouise Warrock 04/09/17 Sure, I like tofu. Just as much as I like, say, fascism and my mother.
-beams right back-
Tofu is sh*t, and it gives people Alzheimer's.
Elouise Warrock 04/09/17 He is? I knew I liked him.
-narrowly remembers suitcase-
And the flight was great, minus needing to pee every 20 minutes. But Jameson paid for first class...not that he knows that.
Elouise Warrock 04/09/17 Autumn
Oh. Did you like, bring an oven roasted turkey instead? That'd be fortuitous AND amazing.

-drops suitcase-
-jumps / hugs-
Ohemgee. It's been like...weeks! Weeks that felt like years!
Elouise Warrock 04/09/17 Autumn
I just landed, hoe.
There better be a hot red head holding a sign with my name on it at the gate!
Or, y'know, I'll catch a taxi.
Elouise Warrock 04/07/17 Autumn
I'll just give the uggos to Noura.
Who am I kidding, my kids are gonna be cute af!
Kid. My kid is gonna be cute af.
Elouise Warrock 04/07/17 Autumn
You've seen Jameson's sister, right??
I think he just got lucky. If I'm the only one bringing a good pedigree, to this scenario who KNOWS how these kids are gonna end up.
Elouise Warrock 04/07/17 Autumn
The Orlav-only basketball team needs alternates, omg.
But what if they're all cute??
Elouise Warrock 04/07/17 Autumn
Omfg. Give it another year.
I'm gonna have like 10 babies spontaneously.
You can pick your favorite!
Elouise Warrock 04/07/17 Autumn
I am happy! Which is why it's nothing more than hormones.
Pregnancy, man. I don't recommend it.
Elouise Warrock 04/07/17 Autumn
Don't worry, I'm over the puking part.
Now I just lay around and cry for no reason.
Elouise Warrock 04/07/17 Autumn
I'm gonna kiss your face off!
Or hug. Probably at least one kiss. 😉
And then we're gonna go eat until I puke!
Elouise Warrock 04/07/17 Autumn
I can handle him.
Well, Jameson can. I don't engage.
Suffice to say he and my mother go hand-in-hand in f*cking my life up!
Elouise Warrock 04/07/17 Autumn
I don't care if Lucius knows.
He might have to keep you from coming to Moscow and murdering Cal.
Jameson has him locked in the basement. 😊
Elouise Warrock 04/07/17 Autumn
Wait. Seriously?
I mean, I know I don't talk about it, but...
I figured I'd have at least told you!
It's kind of long story. Maybe talk about it on Sunday?
Elouise Warrock 04/06/17 Autumn
My first husband? He's .15th of a human. You can meet him next time we're in Moscow.
Haven't we ever discussed Calvin?
Elouise Warrock 04/06/17 Autumn
I'm not a wench!
I've been with 1.5 guys, you skank!
Well. Like 1.25? 1.15?
Elouise Warrock 04/06/17 Autumn
I'm not a total idiot. I got the sense he wasn't the 'friend' type. But if he's your family, I'm going to make an effort to be kind.
Because I love you, b*tch.
Elouise Warrock 04/06/17 Autumn
It's just know to know what you think of me.
Selfish isn't something that comes to mind when I think of you.
Caring, kind-hearted, stubborn. No opinion that might hurt, though.
Elouise Warrock 04/06/17 Autumn
The last thing you should be is worried about me.
I'm a big girl. I can handle my own sh*t.
I only care about what makes me happy, after all.
Elouise Warrock 04/06/17 Autumn
What do you mean?
I'm peachy.
What about you?
Elouise Warrock 04/06/17 Autumn
How might that be an advantage, exactly?
Elouise Warrock 04/06/17 Autumn
He has Jameson. He'll be fine.
Elouise Warrock 04/06/17 Autumn
Babies do need clothes and shoes.
From what I've heard, at least.
Elouise Warrock 04/06/17 Autumn
Yeah? Like what?
Elouise Warrock 04/05/17 Autumn
I'm just making everything about me. :-)
Elouise Warrock 04/05/17 Autumn
Wow! Tell me how you really feel, why don't you.
I'll just stay here, where I'm not a nuisance. Jesus.
Elouise Warrock 04/05/17 Autumn
Are you saying I'm not charming enough?
Elouise Warrock 04/05/17 Autumn
I didn't force my love on you!
...I did a little, but not a lot!
I just want him to not dislike me. I'm fine with whatever isn't hate, at this point.
Elouise Warrock 04/05/17 Autumn
What do I get, then? I just want him to be my boo, like you and Winter and Summer are!
Elouise Warrock 04/05/17 Autumn
Will he snuggle with me?
And watch Netflix with me?
And love me forever?
Elouise Warrock 04/05/17 Autumn
Why isn't Blaize as much fun as Winter?
I am determined to make that broody ginger my friend.
Elouise Warrock 04/04/17 Autumn
This baby is already trained to kill.
And the display cases are baby-proofed!
Don't knock it. It's gonna look cool af.
Elouise Warrock 04/04/17 Autumn
Why is it creepy? They're quality decorations!
And a whole series of bayonets and knives.
And some defused land mines and grenades, too.
Elouise Warrock 04/04/17 Autumn
But you'll like the prezzies!
Aw. 💛💛
I just bought a giant collection of antique guns to hang in the nursery. Omggggggg.
Elouise Warrock 04/04/17 Autumn
Sorry. :)
I can't wait to see you. And smother you. And I have presents!
Elouise Warrock 04/04/17 Autumn
Elouise Warrock 04/04/17 Autumn
No, I'm talking about unrealistic true love with unrealistically beautiful people, and at some point someone dies.
Elouise Warrock 04/04/17 Autumn
Oh my god. What a beautiful friendship we have.
You tell me what porn is, I show you want true love is, via books and films.
Elouise Warrock 04/04/17 Autumn
The Notebook! Oh my god. We're going to watch all of Nicholas Spark's movies now.
Elouise Warrock 04/04/17 Autumn
No need for debate! I'll give him a ball of yarn, or something. He'll be busy for hours. And then we get to watch The Notebook and cry together! :)
Elouise Warrock 04/04/17 Autumn
You *****.
Sorry, hormones talking.
Yes, assuming Jameson comes. He might be busy poking around in a chest cavity!
Elouise Warrock 04/03/17 Autumn
Hey, you may have been friends first, but I got snuggles first!
And it's worth sweeping up the glitter, thaaaank you~.
And then you can take Jameson out and do something fun, and Lucy and I can Battleships.
Elouise Warrock 04/03/17 Autumn
Fair warning, I will require at least one full day of snuggles. And movies. Mostly the snuggles, because I've been severely lacking. And I'll only glitter-bomb you once.
Elouise Warrock 04/03/17 Autumn
You should know by now, I will eat whatever you put in front of me.
Jameson will be happy that someone can cook for him.
I used to just bake pot into everything.
Elouise Warrock 04/03/17 Autumn
... :(
Okay, Polish for Jameson then? Pierogies, kielbasa, just not tripe soup.
Except he doesn't really like Poland. But I want pierogies, so he'll get over it.
Elouise Warrock 04/03/17 Autumn
Burritos, taquitos, tamales, nachos, churros, steak, mashed potatoes, pork chops, mashed potatoes, roast beef, steak, ribs, mashed potatoes...did I mentioned steak or mashed potatoes?
Elouise Warrock 04/03/17 Autumn
Yes. Sold. Yes. Breakfast. Yes please.
You're the best! :)
Elouise Warrock 04/03/17 Autumn
If Jim-Jam comes, we'll probably go to the hotel.
Y'know, relive the romance of our wedding.
...might even break another beer bottle over his head for old time's sake.
Elouise Warrock 04/03/17 Autumn
Probably not, but feel free to ask.
If I show my face to ask, he'll find me. And I don't want to be pranked. I'm afraid.
Can we go dancing?!
Summer 04/03/17 Sis
Iím back home. Annnddd it doesnít suck. Not at all.
Elouise Warrock 04/03/17 Autumn
Omg. Yes!
I booked tickets. See you Sunday, bff.
You can talk to the lil nugget all you want!
Elouise Warrock 04/03/17 Autumn
Yes it is! And yes you are!
Isn't he perfect? It kinda looks like he's waving. his Aunt Autumn. ;)
Elouise Warrock 04/03/17 Autumn
Side note:
Elouise Warrock 04/03/17 Autumn
I just asked him if he wanted to be!
I'm still pushing for you stealing a baby so we can co-mom together. Rambo needs cousins to beat the sh*t out of!
Elouise Warrock 04/03/17 Autumn
I'm self-conscious, okay.
Thank god this kid has you and Jameson, because I'm a damn MESS.
...Auntie Autumn. :)
Elouise Warrock 04/03/17 Autumn
I keep Jameson happy!
...why am I like this.
Elouise Warrock 04/03/17 Autumn
:( I don't know how to do sexy!
Elouise Warrock 04/03/17 Autumn
He hits ON me. Like all of the time.
Emotionally battered. I'm a victim of PH!
Elouise Warrock 04/03/17 Autumn
I'm a battered woman, Autumn.
I deserve those owls!
Elouise Warrock 04/03/17 Autumn
omfg. I'm about to buy four more puppies and a f*cking owl sanctuary.
Leverage, baby!
Elouise Warrock 04/03/17 Autumn
His phone background is me elbow deep in BBQ ribs.
And mine is when I got him really high and dumped pancake mix on him.
I guess I don't really need to know, do I? I love him no matter what.

Elouise Warrock 04/03/17 Autumn
Elouise Warrock 04/03/17 Autumn
Omfg. Fine.

Elouise Warrock 04/03/17 Autumn
What's porn?
Elouise Warrock 04/03/17 Autumn
... What?
That's sex?!
Elouise Warrock 04/03/17 Autumn
Nope! No turkey Bastet. Immaculate conception!
I am a virgin. I've never had sex, thank you!
Elouise Warrock 04/03/17 Autumn
I love you more, sister-friend!
Well, I would if I had one. But I'm a virgin!
Elouise Warrock 04/03/17 Autumn
You're family, boo boo. You know that! You'll be able to borrow this little sh*t any time.
Well, yknow. Ovaries. BOOM. It's why I'm like this, jfc.
Elouise Warrock 04/03/17 Autumn
So glad he is safe. Probably should have made sure he was wearing a helmet first.
In like 3 weeks, Rambo will be able to hear Aunt Autumn talk about what a mess his mom is! 💕
Elouise Warrock 04/03/17 Autumn
It's called biology. 😉
Side note, I'm halfway. And pudgy now. VISIBLY.
Elouise Warrock 04/02/17 Autumn
Love you too. ;)
You could always kick her wife's ass. She called me fat!
Elouise Warrock 04/02/17 Autumn
So territorial. Please don't pee on me.
I think I'll leave this between you and Soleil.
She's good to me. She snuggles, and brings me snacks.
But she isn't you, Autumn. Don't worry.
Elouise Warrock 04/02/17 Autumn
You mean Soleil?
What, are you jealous?
Awwwwww. Here's her number if you want to tussle:
[Contact Shared]
Elouise Warrock 04/02/17 Autumn
Aw, that'd be a blast from the past. But I've been hiding in Soleil's room, living off of Oreos.
Also, omg. TMI, Autumn. We BOTH know what that means.
Elouise Warrock 04/02/17 Autumn
Well, it's still better than Moscow.
Jameson is waging a prank war against me. far, no causalities.
Elouise Warrock 04/02/17 Autumn
How is Lucius? And London?
Elouise Warrock 04/02/17 Autumn
Miss you too! 😍
I can get on a plane any time, my gorgeous friend.
Elouise Warrock 03/29/17 Autumn
Of course I'm happy!
What about you?
Everything going okay?
Elouise Warrock 03/28/17 Autumn
I take life as it comes.
And now I get to wake up every day next to my best friend.
What's better than that? Besides tacos and tequila, obviously.
Elouise Warrock 03/28/17 Autumn
Will do.
I'll show you the hotel suite we trashed also. I puked a lot there, too. And we also got married in it!
Ugh. Romance.
Elouise Warrock 03/28/17 Autumn
I appreciate you!
I might even make one for Lucius~
I'm not sure yet. I'll show you the bar where Jameson & I first said 'I love you', and then I puked on his shoes!
Elouise Warrock 03/28/17 Autumn
Oo. Mine is gonna be yellow and green!
Eh. I'll just model it off of mine.
This is purely an excuse to hand-deliver it to you, by the way. :)
Elouise Warrock 03/28/17 Autumn
Second favorite color? big is your wrist?
Elouise Warrock 03/28/17 Autumn
What's your favorite color?
I'm making us friendship bracelets!
Elouise Warrock 03/24/17 Autumn
Yeah, but why??
I ate an entire roast for lunch. Omfg.
Elouise Warrock 03/23/17 Autumn
What does 'maybe' mean??!
Elouise Warrock 03/23/17 Autumn
A FAT baby, maybe.
I'm grumpy.
Elouise Warrock 03/23/17 Autumn
The bump. It's happening.
Elouise Warrock 03/20/17 Autumn
Also, check your email. I sent a list of baby names.
Let me know your opinion on the sub-list: Drug Names.
Elouise Warrock 03/20/17 Autumn
I miss you! ❤
Elouise Warrock 03/19/17 BFF
I have found my spirit animal.
Elouise Warrock 03/17/17 Autumn
If I was jet-lagged and snuggling, I'd f*ck him up.
Elouise Warrock 03/17/17 Autumn
You're my favorite Summers.
Don't tell Winter, he's sensitive.
And I think he's been camping out in my closet.
Elouise Warrock 03/17/17 Autumn
We were destined to be pals from the first leg stand.
And that you didn't question the fact I brought my own keg to a bar.
Elouise Warrock 03/17/17 Autumn
I admire your ass in exactly the manner it deserves.
You do the same for mine.
Booty booty booty. 🍑
Elouise Warrock 03/17/17 Autumn
You wish that I needed him to tell me.
Obviously your ass is whiter than snow. Cmon.
Elouise Warrock 03/17/17 Autumn
If I didn't have two hundred pounds of Jameson weighing me down, I would come kick your lily white ass.
And then feed you a taco bowl, because I love you.
Elouise Warrock 03/17/17 Autumn
I could have bagged up Jameson MONTHS before I did.
He figured out the way to my heart was through spicy meat and pico de gallo.
So, HA. Also, stfu. You're not that cruel.
Elouise Warrock 03/17/17 Autumn
Looks don't impress me.
Show me what counts.
Tacos. 🌮
Elouise Warrock 03/17/17 Autumn
Zoloft, I assume.
Elouise Warrock 03/17/17 Autumn
You love me.
And it was a valid question. I'd ask him, but with the significant brain trauma, he probably has short-term memory loss.
Elouise Warrock 03/17/17 Autumn
Omg. Is Lucius okay?!
Elouise Warrock 03/17/17 Autumn
My uterus betrayed me for Jameson, MMK.
He smoothed talked it, made it a double agent while I was sleeping, probably. Kms.
Elouise Warrock 03/17/17 Autumn
My uterus does not thank you.
Elouise Warrock 03/17/17 Autumn
WTF. I'm not THAT stupid!
Elouise Warrock 03/17/17 Autumn
Conventional birth control methods do not work against an Orlav.
Elouise Warrock 03/17/17 Autumn
I'm being realistic. Have you seen my husband??
Well...I could always help dye your hair. 😁
Elouise Warrock 03/17/17 Autumn
It's okay. I'm probably going to end up having 15 blood-thirsty ninja babies. Some are bound to be girls. You can have those.
And, no. Blonde or bleach.
Elouise Warrock 03/16/17 Autumn
It's okay. I threw my hands in the air and kind of broke my doctor's nose when I found out. Girls are so scary. 👶🏼💙
He better be blonde, though. Seriously.
Elouise Warrock 03/16/17 Autumn
LOL. What?? Why?!
Elouise Warrock 03/16/17 Autumn
Well, yeah. The nice lady doctor said so.
And Jameson said it had to be a boy because it's an Orlav.
I guess we'll really know in two weeks? LOL. Jameson will die if it's a girl. Like, seriously. He will have a stroke and die.
Elouise Warrock 03/16/17 Autumn
They shoved a big ass needle in my stomach awhile back.
An...a... it's a big word, hold on.

Elouise Warrock 03/16/17 Autumn
Apparently, at 18 weeks the sex can be revealed, but we already know that. 19, the baby can hear all of the gun assembly tapes I'll be playing him, and 20 is the half-way mark. Wahoo! Still kinda looks like an alien though.
Elouise Warrock 03/16/17 Autumn
I know! I can't wait. I was meant to be a fat person.
I embrace it.
Dude. All of the fun stuff is happening in the next four weeks. Including the half-way mark. Kms. This is taking forever.
Elouise Warrock 03/16/17 Autumn
In other news, Rambo is hitting his first growth spurt.
I'm gonna start looking pregnant as f*ck, and no one at the bakery can judge me for ordering two boxes of donuts all for myself anymore.
Elouise Warrock 03/16/17 Autumn
I need to stop reading the tabloids when I'm half asleep and hungry. They made me irrational.
I love Jim-Jam ALOT, but somehow that mf loves me more. How is that even possible??
Elouise Warrock 03/16/17 Autumn
Like a dog uses a teddy bear, maybe. 😜
Elouise Warrock 03/16/17 Autumn
I think it's time to go back to Moscow.
Also, you have my blessing to marry my unborn child, because apparently that's happening too??
Elouise Warrock 03/16/17 Autumn
Do you think that's true?
About Jameson?
Elouise Warrock 03/15/17 Autumn
He could have had like 10,000, but he low-balled himself. Maybe reached in the wrong pocket.
Either way, it's still hilarious when people steal Jameson's money. And, thank you! I like my ass too. And yours. ;)
Elouise Warrock 03/15/17 Autumn
Good question. He grabbed them the same time he took fifteen hundred bucks out of my back pocket.
Elouise Warrock 03/15/17 Autumn
I guess I'll have to think about it more.
I haven't heard from my mother in weeks. Probably on another bender.
You know, I really like Lucius. I don't know any guy who offers his girlfriend over without any qualms. Except he stole my dog treats. 😠
Elouise Warrock 03/15/17 Autumn
He seems interested in the prospect, though.
If he wants to be a grandpa, Jameson is just going to have to deal with it.
Nobody is perfect, right?
Elouise Warrock 03/15/17 Autumn
Sure, but he's father of the year compared to Trista.
He's done stuff for me. I guess. Kind of?
It'd be nice if Rambo gets at least one grandparent.
Elouise Warrock 03/15/17 Autumn
Really? I mean, you met my father, didn't you?
He's a great guy. Minus the whole denying my existence to his other family thing. 😁
Elouise Warrock 03/15/17 Autumn
Why do you say that?
I'm sure they'll get along really well.
Or Jameson will peel his skin off with a dull butter knife.
Elouise Warrock 03/15/17 Autumn
I'm happy if you're happy. 😌
Yeah, see Jameson and I have tons of secrets.
Like, for example, Nigel is coming to visit Moscow once I'm back from Moscow. He's going to be thrilled!
Elouise Warrock 03/15/17 Autumn
I love tacos with a love that is more than love.
Well, I only want Jameson with his cake, so I get where Lucius is coming from.
How is Harry Potter?
Elouise Warrock 03/15/17 Autumn
I am in culinary heaven.
I may stay in Mexico forever.
Elouise Warrock 03/14/17 Autumn
Omfg. It was a joke!
How about a basket of chihuahuas? Do you want a basket of chihuahuas?
Elouise Warrock 03/14/17 Autumn
Damn right I do.
Tell Lucius I said hi! I'll bring you both back a souvenir. How about tapeworm?
Elouise Warrock 03/14/17 Autumn
Cabo is amazing.
Elouise Warrock 03/13/17 Autumn
I changed my mind.
I'm going to make popcorn and cuddle with the dogs. I'm laaaaaazy.
Lucius and I are looking at venues tomorrow.
Elouise Warrock 03/13/17 Autumn
Fair point.
I'm going to make Jameson go dancing with me.
Elouise Warrock 03/13/17 Autumn
Spouse-swap? I need someone to party with.
Elouise Warrock 03/13/17 Autumn
I figured you'd say that.
So I proposed to him instead!
Elouise Warrock 03/13/17 Autumn
Why don't YOU propose?
I did, the second time. And like vaguely insinuated on one occasion that I wanted to marry the f*ck out of him.
Elouise Warrock 03/13/17 Autumn
Some of this is definitely cheetos.
At any rate, Jameson and I only dated for five days before we eloped.
I married him for the tacos.
Summer 03/13/17 Autumn
1. Of course I'll share some tips and tricks to dancing. And "dancing". Two different things. Both very useful!
2. You are glowing, girl! Love looks good on you. And this one? This one I approve of. For whatever that is worth. Not like I have a great track record in judging dudes. Which leads me to:
3. That bartender? Of course I hit that. He's like...packin' down low, if you catch my drift.
4. Here's Winter's poetic words: [message attached]
Elouise Warrock 03/13/17 Autumn
What? Jameson is still fun!
When are you and Lucius going to ruin a perfectly good relationship with marriage? I'll ask him. Or threaten him.
I need another married hoe to get fat with me.
Elouise Warrock 03/13/17 Autumn
When we lived in Bloemfontein, my bed was my sacred place. I didn't even want to let Jameson in there, mostly because it was a onesie-only zone. But he has a REALLY cute butt. And he used to be funny, and nice. He would bring me food, too. He pranked my room with spaghetti bombs, too.
Elouise Warrock 03/13/17 Autumn
For Jamie and I it's more of a contest to see who smothers who first.
I had a body pillow for awhile, but he got jealous. 😌
Elouise Warrock 03/13/17 Autumn
That would normally be the case, except I have to pee like every 10 minutes.
He's just lucky he's cute. ...and I'm comfy.
Elouise Warrock 03/13/17 Autumn
He's snoring right next to me.
And his arm is really heavy and I can't get out of bed.
...I think I'm going to die here.
Elouise Warrock 03/11/17 Autumn
My heart just threw up and died. Look at his face!
Summer 03/10/17 Her set had ended just as they did in London, Sydney, New York, or anywhere else. It ended with her fishing various pieces of undergarments and single bills off the stage in a graceful-yet-hurried manner. Beaming a wide grin at the generous Parisans sitting at the rack, Summer trotted to the bar, aiming on sitting her sparkling bare tush on a stool, ordering up a double of whatever it was they drank in volumes in France, and having a grand ole time.
Maxime, the heavily tattooed, willowy bartender gave her a slow grin as he poured a drink. He fished her cell phone from a shelf under the bar. "Incoming text from someone named 'Red Hot'. Figured it was worth a mention."
Giving him a demure smile, she took the phone, her eyes remaining on him. His English was excellent, even tinted with an accent from her home town. She didn't say anything further, simply sipping her drink as she read the text. Let him think whatever he wants about who 'Red Hot' was. He was just a bartender at the club she was being featured at for a month.
Things are never that simple.
Thumbs poised over her phone, she glanced up at him. "How do you say 'My beautiful sister' in French?"
Chuckling, he leaned close, whispering it in her ear. She studied the tattoo that crept across his skull, a filigree crown in lieu of hair.

ma ravissante súur
Welcome! I'd say that in French too, but it is loud in here and I don't want to keep yelling 'how do you say...?' like a god damned idiot. I just finished my last set. You can either pop by the club- I'm the nearly naked one at the bar flirting with Maxime. Woman: Everything you've heard about French dudes is true. Everything.
But you're off the market, so you don't care. MORE FOR ME.
See you soon, ma cocotte
Elouise Warrock 03/10/17 Autumn
You're probably right. Boo.
I miss Jim-Jam anyway. And the dogs.
Mostly Jameson, though. Body pillows aren't the same as real snuggles.😌
Elouise Warrock 03/10/17 Autumn
Do you think it's safe for me to go skiing?
I'm driving up to the Swiss border. Yay snow!
Elouise Warrock 03/09/17 Autumn
Of course I said no!
I've already got a bun in the oven.
Elouise Warrock 03/09/17 Autumn
Okay! I'll be at the docks flirting with Luigi.
He asked if I wanted to see his baguette. Is that an innuendo?
Elouise Warrock 03/09/17 Autumn
To the Cinque Terre!
I'm going to take tons of pictures for Jameson.
I'm pretty sure you and I use the same level SPF. My skin burns just thinking about sun exposure.
Elouise Warrock 03/09/17 Autumn
I worked on a summer booze cruise in Mexico. I know how to drive a boat... kind of.
Pack a picnic basket. And bring my fuzzy slippers. And my fuzzy blanket. Bring all of my fuzzies!
Elouise Warrock 03/09/17 Autumn
Ugh. Fine.
I'm renting a boat. Let's go sail the coast!
Elouise Warrock 03/09/17 Autumn
Do you think it's safe to swim in the canals in Venice?
Elouise Warrock 03/08/17 ...what do you think of me?!
I wouldn't wear anything that would make Jameson have to murder everyone within a 100 mile radius.
Mostly because it's hard to get blood out of his clothes. And jealous Jameson isn't fun.
Elouise Warrock 03/08/17 -toothy grin-
That's probably a good idea.
You're too good to me.
Elouise Warrock 03/08/17 -stomps-
Agree to disagree! sexy is too sexy?
Elouise Warrock 03/08/17 Aw. I love you. You're the hottest b*tch on the block, but you already know that!
-flicks nose-
I'm going to go put on some real clothes, then. See you in two wags of a lamb's tail! Also, I bought a lamb.
Elouise Warrock 03/08/17 Ohemgee. Really?! We're staying out until tomorrow morning!
Damn right he's lucky.
Well, with you, maybe. I'm married and getting fat, so I'm probably the pity date.
Elouise Warrock 03/08/17 -rolls eyes-
Cheese is my only luxury in this life.
You know what's more fun than a bed? Night clubs! Let's go dancing!
Elouise Warrock 03/08/17 -wanders in-
-eating cheese-
-...a wheel of cheese-
Wanna go steal some relics from the Colosseum?
Summer 03/07/17 Smart Sister
You bring up a valid scenario- we don't feature many male dancers (outside Of one specific night of the week- talk about YUM and also talk about "barking up the wrong tree" if you catch my drift. They aren't buying what I'm selling sadly. Hey, a girl can still look!!). Anywhoosies. Let's shove your beau up on stage. I'll sacrifice some single Euros, makin' it rain on him. Hahahah I've never met the poor lad- this sounds like a very good introduction.
Wait, have I met him? Sh-t, I can't even remember if Winter and I crashed Elouise's wedding. Maybe I should ease up on the good sh-t??
Summer 03/07/17 Autumn
Arrested for butt-touching?! If touching butts is wrong, I don't wanna be right. Put that on my headstone when I die.
Normally picture taking in the club is a no-no, but I'll try to have one of the other dancers sneak a few shots. It is something best experienced live and in the flesh. Ahem. Bring your new beau- perhaps I can even drag your cute ass on stage for amateur night?? Omg my little sis, following in my footsteps! It makes me teary eyed just thinking about it. Although honestly, I peg Winter as more the 'dancing naked on stage for cash' type than you. Someone has to be classy in this family. It went all to you, Red Hot!
Pro tip- while in Italy, don't try to lick the statue of David. If you thought they frowned on butt-touching....
Summer 03/06/17 Lil Sis
I miss you too!
Sydney is awesome. It is warm, the vibe is relaxed yet energetic, and the people are lovely. I am currently in Paris, however. Doing a month long stint at Thť‚tre Chocotte. It's as amazing as it sounds, minus the French winter weather. How's you? How's London?
Elouise Warrock 03/06/17 Autumn
I think I'm getting banned. This IS a great vacation!
Elouise Warrock 03/06/17 Autumn
Omg. No, you don't have to come right now!
You're such a good friend. I love you.
Elouise Warrock 03/06/17 Autumn
I groped a Vatican guard, now I'm in Vatican jail.
In my defense, the booty was DIVINE.
... I don't want to talk about how I smuggled it in here with me. Please help.
Elouise Warrock 03/06/17 Autumn
Thank you for that. I'm sure he threw it out. 😊
I have no reason not to be happy. Jameson is a great husband! But I appreciate you caring. 💕
Elouise Warrock 03/06/17 Autumn
I'd love to come to London. I'm overdue a visit with Nigel, at any rate.
But yes, check with Lucius.
I'm fine, really. You never have to worry about whether or not ELOUISE is having a good time.
Elouise Warrock 03/06/17 Autumn
Well, it may soon. Or not. Take your time and enjoy it!
It's fine. He's a busy guy. I'm not too worried about it.
Jameson does a lot, y'know? I can't always be the most important thing.
Elouise Warrock 03/06/17 Autumn
He loves you. Yes, it's a thing.
I don't know? I asked him to come to Rome with me. I'm here, having a ball. Solo vacations are also fun!
Elouise Warrock 03/06/17 Autumn
I have no idea where Jameson is. Literally. No idea.
Elouise Warrock 03/06/17 Autumn
Oh no! That stinks. Hope he gets better soon.
I think I'm going to Verona today. Gonna go touch the Statue of Juliette's boob.
Elouise Warrock 03/06/17 Autumn
Come to Rome. I'm bored.
Well, not really. I'm having tons of fun! But you should join!
Elouise Warrock 03/03/17 Autumn
What kind of souvenir do you want?
I tried to steal some pennies from this fountain, but there were WAAAAAY too many people around.
Elouise Warrock 03/01/17 Autumn
Jameson and I only discuss topics related to tacos, whiskey, snuggles and movie-time.
It's the key to a healthy marriage!
Elouise Warrock 03/01/17 Autumn
EXCUSE. I'll have you know I campaigned for Rambo. And then I just ended up being pregnant anyway.
...and then I realized how un-fun pregnancy is. But worth it!
Elouise Warrock 03/01/17 Autumn
I'm a very convincing person.
I convinced Jameson a baby was a good idea, sooooo. I'm pretty much the best.
Elouise Warrock 03/01/17 BFF
Just do what I do and rush head-first into everything without ever considering the consequences!
It's worked out so far. Husband with cute butt, probably a baby with a cute butt. ...I have a beautiful life.
Elouise Warrock 03/01/17 Autumn
Rent one? Adopt one?
Oo. Just co-parent with me! You'll be the one to make sure it survives!
Elouise Warrock 03/01/17 Autumn
Are you sure? Isn't he Harry Potter?
...can you steal a baby, or something?
Elouise Warrock 03/01/17 No Fun
OH. I don't tell you about any of that anyway!
How is Lucius? Is he pregnant yet?
Elouise Warrock 03/01/17 Autumn
What wouldn't you want to know?!
Elouise Warrock 03/01/17 Love Thief
I'm trying to spoil him!
My dream honeymoon would be alcohol poisoning in Cuba, but I think he'll like Italy.
Plus, I want to eat ALL of the pasta.
Elouise Warrock 03/01/17 Autumn
I'm going to take the hubs somewhere fancy instead.
Rome, fancy.
I don't think he's found the note yet.
Elouise Warrock 03/01/17 Autumn
I wish I was 😫
I had way too much sugar. I'm in pain.
And thank you, so did you! I wanna walk around in that dress forever.
Elouise Warrock 03/01/17 Autumn
My head hurts.
Elouise Warrock 02/27/17 Autumn
I have a fantastic metabolism! Rambo is getting tons of protein, though.
Yay! See you soon!
Elouise Warrock 02/27/17 Autumn
Thank you! I'm trying to break the record for fattest baby at birth.
Do you think eating an entire roast beef before lunch is good?
Elouise Warrock 02/27/17 Autumn
I'll be here, eating my feelings and watching Netflix until then!
Elouise Warrock 02/27/17 Autumn
I miss you!
Elouise Warrock 02/23/17 Autumn
Where's the love?!
I'd let you move in!
Elouise Warrock 02/23/17 Autumn
Looks like we're moving in!
Hope you're ready to take care of two whiny babie!
...and Rambo.
Elouise Warrock 02/23/17 Autumn
I can count down the days on my calendar that I have left to learn how to be domestic af.
Or I'll just make you move in. You make sure Jim-Jam 1 + 2 don't starve!
Elouise Warrock 02/23/17 Autumn
I'd love an apple pie as a wedding present! 😊
I'm trying to learn how to cook, but so far I'm limited to ramen noodles and the occasional pancake batch.
Elouise Warrock 02/23/17 Autumn cook?
Looks like I'm marrying the wrong person...
Elouise Warrock 02/23/17 Autumn
I'm pregnant, I relax no matter what I'm doing.
Bring tacos!
Elouise Warrock 02/23/17 Autumn
Planning is done! I'm just gonna nap until the wedding day.
Of course I'm excited! Jameson in a tux?? Damn.
Elouise Warrock 02/23/17 Autumn
I used to be fun! I used to snort cocaine off of hookers asses!
...okay, so I didn't do that, but I was fun. I swear. RIP Fun Elouise.
Elouise Warrock 02/22/17 Autumn
I went through all of my drug money planning this wedding.
What. Has. Happened. To. Me.
Elouise Warrock 02/21/17 Autumn
This kid is going to come out ready to shoot a glock.
Jameson and I will create nothing short of a gorgeous, lethal af infant.
Elouise Warrock 02/21/17 Autumn
I should rephrase. The idea of drinking again makes the birth worth it.
Baby, totally worth not drinking ever again, as far as I'm concerned. I'm going to refer to him as Rambo for simplicity's sake. And because his name is Rambo.
Elouise Warrock 02/21/17 Autumn
There is definitely something wrong with it. Who wants to be sober for 9 months?? Jameson can carry the next one.
I am more excited to drink again than I am to have this baby.
Well, sort of. Still. Is that bad?
Elouise Warrock 02/21/17 Autumn
Ugh, stfu. Let me at least pretend.
It's not my fault he's so f*cking adorable. I just got lucky.
If I think more than three is a good idea, please lobotomize me.
Do I have to shave my legs for the wedding??
Elouise Warrock 02/21/17 Autumn
One child, Autumn. Jfc.
I'm not doing this sh*t again.
I don't care HOW cute Jameson is.
Elouise Warrock 02/21/17 Autumn
God damn it. FINE.
You're getting waaaaaay ahead of yourself.
Elouise Warrock 02/21/17 Autumn
Jammies are classy!
And I won't even have to worry about shoes, they're footie PJs too!
Elouise Warrock 02/21/17 Autumn
Suit? Tux? I don't care.
I know he's not going to show up looking like a hobo.
I'm wearing a tuxedo onesie, so it's only going up from there!
Elouise Warrock 02/21/17 Autumn
I thought we've learned you shouldn't trust my taste?
It'll be like 27 Dresses, except all of the bridesmaids get to look good.
Elouise Warrock 02/21/17 Autumn
I can't help it! Blame the fetus.
Any color you want! You'll have better taste than me, anyway.
Elouise Warrock 02/21/17 Autumn
I don't even know anymore.
I've been eating since like 6AM.
When are you coming to Moscow? We need to find you a dress! ❤
Elouise Warrock 02/20/17 Autumn
I ate like 4lbs worth of beef today.
This tiny Orlav is KILLING me.
But he's going to be super cute, isn't he? Even if he weighs 14lbs. 😋
Elouise Warrock 02/18/17 Autumn
You're such a good wedding planner.
Jameson is going to hate dance classes. I can't wait~!
Elouise Warrock 02/18/17 BEARly Any Fun
Fiiiiine. What about puppies as party favors?
Omfg. I don't know how to dance. Well, I can salsa. But that's not dancing for a wedding, is it? 💃🏼
Elouise Warrock 02/18/17 BFF
I just ate a 🍪 the size of a small 👶🏼.
In other news, I can't seem to find a reception venue that will let wild bears walk around. 🐻😔
Elouise Warrock 02/16/17 Autumn
This is going to be the classiest affair ever, you'll think you showed up to the wrong wedding!
Elouise Warrock 02/16/17 Autumn
Wtf. That is definitely classy enough!
The veil is gorgeous!
... UGH.

Wait. Got it. Pinterest is fantastic!
[IMG] to just make the wedding planner find something close to this.
Elouise Warrock 02/16/17 Autumn
This is my top choice!
Elouise Warrock 02/16/17 Autumn
How sexy is too sexy for church?
Elouise Warrock 02/16/17 Autumn*t. No.
I guess I'll put on some pants and go look!
Elouise Warrock 02/16/17 Autumn
You deserve a good time!
Maybe come back for the wedding, though. 😉
Elouise Warrock 02/16/17 Autumn
Jason is probably going to be the best man... again.
I'll work on the Nigel thing. If not, then definitely Winter!
Elouise Warrock 02/16/17 Autumn
You sound like Nigel.
Speaking of, did the hubs respond?
Need to know who's walking me down the aisle.
Elouise Warrock 02/16/17 Autumn
Kill me now.
I'll miss potato chips so much.
Elouise Warrock 02/16/17 Autumn
Elouise Warrock 02/16/17 🚨 9-1-1 🚨
Jameson Orlav 02/16/17 Autumn
You know, she was so happy, and so I was happy. Thats all I really care about. So the answer is yes. I enjoyed myself. So? You???
Jameson Orlav 02/16/17 Autumn
Sorry. I've been a little spacey. V-Day was good. She seemed to enjoy herself. I'm glad I could accommodate. How was yours?

Nigel and Trista are out. You won't find Trista anyway.. Besides, my parents are dead. 😃
Elouise Warrock 02/15/17 Autumn
We were busy this morning.
Well, he has very specific feelings about mine. And I don't want to have the conversation with him. So I'll leave this as your one and only task! Unless you want to have a bridesmaid party. In which case, you have two.
Elouise Warrock 02/15/17 Autumn
OH. Chocolate. On chocolate. On chocolate, on chocolate.
I emailed him! Tell Lucius I said thank you~.
Ask Jameson if I should invite my parents.
...he'll probably be nicer about it coming from you. Thanks Maid of Honor!
Elouise Warrock 02/15/17 Autumn
It doesn't really matter which flavor I like, there's a bun in the oven. How about Macallan whiskey? That's Jamie's favorite. I think he loves it more than me. Oh! Steak. So much steak. Enough that it would be a tear to Ron Swanson's eye.
Elouise Warrock 02/15/17 Autumn
Ugh. But it's so much fun to be trashy.
Is a champagne fountain classy? Omfg.
What flavor should the cake be?!
Elouise Warrock 02/15/17 Autumn
Yes drugs! Hard liquor in everything!
I'm thinking every table gets a bong.
...this is going to be fantastic.
Wait. F*ck. Pregnant. Okay, so no drugs it is!
Elouise Warrock 02/15/17 Autumn
Aw. I love you.
How do you feel about amphetamines in the punch?
Elouise Warrock 02/15/17 Autumn
You underestimate how much I'll need to sleep between now and the wedding day.
How about the 28th? Mark your calendar, sh*t's about to be LIT.
Elouise Warrock 02/15/17 Autumn
I have literally all the time in the world.
I want doves released.
And a chocolate fountain.
Omfg. Can we get Cher to perform???
Elouise Warrock 02/15/17 Autumn
So, like, next week?
I'm going to wife the sh*t out of him.
Bring your boy-toy! He can help with the flower arrangements.
Elouise Warrock 02/15/17 Autumn
Like, this week doable?
...wanna be my Maid of Honor?
Elouise Warrock 02/15/17 Autumn
Special anniversary?
What about just a 'it's been a few months and I still have a crush on you'? Is that reason enough? I never got to do the white dress, church thing. And I'm not super fat yet.
Elouise Warrock 02/15/17 Autumn
I'm glad you had a nice time. I'm warming up to Lucius. He still doesn't deserve you, but I'm not sure anyone does.
Jim-Jam is best. I want to marry him. Well, again. Can I do that?
Elouise Warrock 02/15/17 Autumn
Omg. Piano? Impressive.
The hubs and I went on a carriage ride. And I ate a cheesecake. Like, an entire cheesecake, by myself.
I'm getting fat.
Elouise Warrock 02/15/17 Autumn
Yay! I want to hear all about it.
You were right about the whole 'effort' thing. I love my guy. 😌
Where did you go? What did you do? Wait. Do I want to know?
Elouise Warrock 02/15/17 Autumn
I have the best husband, seriously.
How was your night?
Elouise Warrock 02/14/17 Autumn
I'm excited! I haven't seen much of him lately.
Have fun! Tell me all about it tomorrow. Or... maybe don't. It depends on what there is to tell!😉
Elouise Warrock 02/14/17 Autumn
Jameson literally got me dress with space in the mid-section for my food baby tonight.
This is true love, isn't it?
I'm so glad double pregnant isn't a thing.
Summer 02/14/17 Autumn
A date!! That is exciting. In that case, I hope you have a wonderful time and that the person in question knows just how lucky they are to have you join them.
Summer 02/14/17 The Hottest Ginger
Happy V-day back at ya, hot stuff! I hope you have a fabulous day. I'll be working, shakin dat a$$ for the lonely single dudes, relieving them of their hard earned cash. It's a tough life, someone's gorta do it. 😘
PS I totally almost typed "the hottest finger". Funny how one letter can f-ckin change the whole tone!
Jameson Orlav 02/14/17 Autumn
Dinner. So much dinner because she loves food. I've also shut down Gorky Park for the night. Its a little chilly, but I've got a carriage to take us through the gardens. I just want to spend time with her. Do you think she'll enjoy it?
Jameson Orlav 02/14/17 Autumn
More common than you might think.
Jameson Orlav 02/14/17 Autumn
Aye, I've heard of him.
Best not be a knob. I'll kick his ass for you if he starts up with the fvckery.
..Actually, if he's smart, he'll be more scared of you than me.
Jameson Orlav 02/14/17 Autumn
Same to you.
Have you chosen a victim- er, valentine for this year? 😀
Elouise Warrock 02/14/17 Autumn
Happy Valentine's Day to you too!
Jameson is making me wear real clothes to go out.
And Cheech and Chong ate the lingerie. I give up.
Elouise Warrock 02/13/17 Autumn
I love him too! And have you seen that butt?
And he makes some mean scrambled eggs.
And something about being my best friend, etc.
Elouise Warrock 02/13/17 Autumn
If only...
Or I can just ditch Jameson. You'll make a great step-mom!
Elouise Warrock 02/13/17 Autumn
Omg, so Lucius is~ your date tomorrow!
I was worried you'd die alone.
Well, that's not true. I'd marry you before I let that happen.
Elouise Warrock 02/13/17 Autumn
How do I get the URL from my computer to my phone?
Do I hire a magician???
Elouise Warrock 02/13/17 Autumn
What's a URL??
Elouise Warrock 02/13/17 Autumn
I am not computer literate!
I'm going to have to buy a new face, aren't I?
Elouise Warrock 02/13/17 JUST DO IT
Lucius and I are friends now! Didn't he tell you?
Elouise Warrock 02/13/17 CALL 911
Elouise Warrock 02/13/17 THE MOST
I thought I was sending you my Valentine's Day outfits!
(hint: NSFW)
And I may or may not have posted them on the Mommy & Me forum I'm a part of instead. Guess I'd better change my identity!
Elouise Warrock 02/13/17 Omfg
You haven't been receiving those??
Oh my god. This explains all of those weird texts.
Jameson is going to kill me.
Elouise Warrock 02/13/17 Autumn
Well, there goes MY hallpass plans. Thanks A LOT.
Does this mean I should stop sending nudes?
Elouise Warrock 02/13/17 Autumn
Would it be?
I say go for it. You're the only hallpass I'd allow.
A sign of true love and respect!
Elouise Warrock 02/13/17 Autumn
I'm never having sex again.
But you can feel free! You have my permission. Jameson is hot af.
Elouise Warrock 02/13/17 Autumn
Omg. You agree with ME??
I'm getting this date engraved on a plaque.
Elouise Warrock 02/13/17 Autumn
Elouise Warrock 02/13/17 Autumn
Okay but how? And WHY??
Who tf invented a sex swing?? I'm going to Google it.

Elouise Warrock 02/13/17 Autumn
Omfg, I'm kidding. I trust you and Winter completely.
Well, I don't. But I do. Apparently he meant a 'sex swing'. Wtf is that?
I REALLY don't want to be pregnant .5 seconds after having this thing.
Elouise Warrock 02/12/17 Group Chat: Autumn; Winter
You are so not invited to my baby shower.
Lingerie is a gift for Jameson. Mama is the one who needs presents. Like tequila. So much tequila. Drown me in tequila. NOT baby-making clothes.
Elouise Warrock 02/11/17 Autumn
This is 🐴 💩.
I'm not a prostitute, for Christ's sake.
I don't care if you two are the f*cking Steve Jobs of lingerie, it's not happening. I like my onesies. And elastic jeans. And baggy shirts. Basically anything that totally obscures my figure. 😈
Elouise Warrock 02/11/17 Autumn
My sex life is fine!
If you get me lingerie, I'm obligated to wear it.
And I'm lazy AF.
Elouise Warrock 02/11/17 Autumn
Ugh. He's going to be so f*cking cute.
You'll have to fight your brother over the baby shower. He's totally taken it over. ...and I think he's buying me lingerie. Please help.
Elouise Warrock 02/11/17 Autumn
The last time Jameson surprised me, I found out I was pregnant. And he didn't even do that on purpose.
Ugh. But my secret is good! Whatever, I'm telling you anyway! I'm having a boy. And I'm worried all of Jameson's name recommendations are going to suck.
Elouise Warrock 02/11/17 Autumn
He forgot my BIRTHDAY. Valentine's Day pales in comparison.
Also, wtf. A secret? Is it Lucius? Omg. Is it??
I'll tell you my secret if you tell me yours!
Elouise Warrock 02/11/17 Autumn
I'll be busy watching Jameson forget another important day anyways, I think.
But. Who? I NEED DETAILS. Is he hot? Rich? Old? Is it a sugar daddy??
Elouise Warrock 02/11/17 Valentine
What are we doing on Tuesday??
Dinner? Movie? Sushi body art???
Elouise Warrock 02/09/17 Autumn
I have a wife now.
You should meet her, she's great!
She brings me food, snuggles with me, and we got a dog together!
Elouise Warrock 02/07/17 Autumn
Why? I've got it handled.
I'm going to be a great mom to Roscoe.
Elouise Warrock 02/07/17 Autumn
Why not? It was way cheap.
And I got the stroller for a steal!
...because I stole the cart.
Elouise Warrock 02/07/17 Autumn
But I already have a collar and a crate for it!
Guess I'll just return all of my baby stuff to PetCo. 😔
Elouise Warrock 02/07/17 Autumn
Buzz kill.
Does a kid count as an animal?
Omg. Another pet.
Elouise Warrock 02/05/17 Autumn
Why not?! I'd be a good monkey mom!
What about a pygmy goat?
Elouise Warrock 02/05/17 Autumn
Can you bring me a Capuchin monkey?
Elouise Warrock 02/03/17 Autumn
You're fantastic.
Can an Elvis impersonator officiate a fake wedding for us?
Elouise Warrock 02/03/17 Autumn
I think we should give roulette a try too.
I've got money to waste!
Elouise Warrock 02/03/17 Autumn
Don't doddle in Romania too, too long.
I'm going to practice my Texas hold'em skills.
Elouise Warrock 02/02/17 Autumn
To Buffalo? Or to Vegas?
I'm down to burn down either. I like fire.
...but I really want to gamble. Like. Obscenely. Rehab-worthy.
Zarek 02/02/17 I will be sure to take you up on that.
Elouise Warrock 02/02/17 Autumn
I prefer Buffalo, at this point.
We need to plan a real vacation, though.
Like Vegas.
Zarek 02/02/17 I do and I am grateful for it.
Elouise Warrock 02/02/17 Autumn
Romania sounds like fun!
Well, I suppose anything is an improvement from Moscow.
Look at you, trailblazer. I wish I had the same luxury.
Zarek 02/02/17 Oh, just stray thoughts, or perhaps I simply enjoy hearing my presence has been missed.
Zarek 02/02/17 I am not sure if that reaction is pleasantly surprised or not.
Elouise Warrock 02/02/17 BFF
I wish you were here.
How is London?
Summer 02/01/17 Autumn
The shoes are for you, babe. You can find them in the post soon enough. I've sent them to your flat in London. Maybe you can have someone fetch them if you're not in town.
I've found a couple clubs in Sydney- trying them out for a bit before I settle- Dollhouse, Minx, and Porky's are in the main rotation. They have body sushi at Dollhouse and reserved events only a few nights a week at Minx. That means more shoes for mama.
I'll be sure to let the bouncers know that not only will they NOT get tipped out, but a vicious petite red head will be on their ass if they slip up.
Love you! xxxooo
Elouise Warrock 02/01/17 Autumn
I intend to have a ball.
And I'm not even too fat for my bathing suit. Small victories. 👌🏼
Elouise Warrock 02/01/17 Autumn
I'm not too concerned with how he feels at the moment.
And he said I should feel free to leave Moscow whenever I like, so, I'm feeling very free.
He can take his sh*tstorm and leave it in the same place he left the birthday acknowledgement I never received.
Elouise Warrock 02/01/17 Autumn
Get in line. I'm just trying to keep my cool.
I left a note. Do you think that's sufficient?
Elouise Warrock 02/01/17 Autumn
I'll bring back a case of the most expensive tequila, just for you.
And the most expensive cabana boy, too! 😉
Elouise Warrock 02/01/17 Autumn
I just want to lay on the beach until I get skin cancer.
My solo honeymoon, with real cabana boys!
Elouise Warrock 02/01/17 Autumn
They're at home.
I was serious about the Mexico thing.
I'm going to celebrate my birthday, my way.
Elouise Warrock 02/01/17 Autumn
I miss my kittens.
Well, they're not kittens.
They're angry behemoths now. But still.
Elouise Warrock 02/01/17 Autumn
Make the joke!
I wanna laugh! :(
Elouise Warrock 02/01/17 Autumn
We can go to the Amazon!
The sun can't breach the canopy in most spots.
And I can tame a python.
Elouise Warrock 02/01/17 Autumn
Have you seen my skin?
We'll just get matching ponchos and sombreros.
I want to eat a scorpion!
Elouise Warrock 02/01/17 Autumn
I still am.
Seriously entertaining a trip to Mexico.
You're welcome to come.
Elouise Warrock 02/01/17 Autumn
I'm sure you've left Moscow.
I just wanted to say I'm sorry I was so childish.
And for taking you for granted. I miss you.
Summer 02/01/17 Autumn
I was shopping for some new work shoes and came across these. For some inexplicable reason, I thought of you! I don't think they'd fetch me a lot of tips, but...some days they just need to be worn, ya know?

Camille 01/30/17
Elouise Warrock 01/30/17 Autumn
UM. EXCUSE. I can't help pregnant rage. It happens.
And then I apologize with snuggles and vodka.
Nope, pretty sure Jameson is dead. And if he isn't, then he'll want to be. 'cuz I'm gonna kick his ass.
Elouise Warrock 01/30/17 Autumn
Well he is rude af, but I assume if he's your friend there must be something redeemable about him.
And I'm pretty sure Jameson is dead. Will you be my pity wife? And I mean that as in you're taking pity on me. 😉
Elouise Warrock 01/30/17 Autumn
I took a nap. I'm sorry.
I love you. Thank you for defending me. ❤
Elouise Warrock 01/30/17 Autumn
Go play in traffic. I'm flying to Cabo.
Elouise Warrock 01/30/17 Autumn
I've had a lot of sugar, and I'm very hormonal.
Elouise Warrock 01/30/17 Autumn
Fine. Jameson isn't answering either.
I'll just go eat a tub of frosting BY MYSELF.
Elouise Warrock 01/30/17 Autumn
Elouise Warrock 01/30/17 Autumn
You're like two feet tall. I think I can manage.
Elouise Warrock 01/30/17 Autumn
I'm going to donkey kick you in the throat, b*tch.
Elouise Warrock 01/30/17 Autumn
I will f*cking murder you.
Elouise Warrock 01/30/17 Autumn
It's not MY fault my husband stopped loving me!
Elouise Warrock 01/30/17 Autumn
I feel like Jameson definitely should have told you.
I'm gonna eat my feelings. Thaaank you!
Elouise Warrock 01/30/17 Autumn
Elouise Warrock 01/30/17 Autumn
I think my husband forgot my f*cking birthday.
Elouise Warrock 01/29/17 Autumn
Elouise Warrock 01/28/17 Autumn
Well. Don't tell Jameson that!
I'll put on real clothes. I guess.
Can we go dancing after?
Elouise Warrock 01/28/17 Autumn
Oh, I know.
And I've seen him naked!
I'll put on my fancy PJs.
Wait. Never mind. I can't wear that in public.
Elouise Warrock 01/28/17 Autumn
Do I have to change out of my PJs?
Elouise Warrock 01/28/17 Autumn
Potentially. Can I bring Winter?
He's currently cradling me like a baby.
His arms are HUGE.
Elouise Warrock 01/28/17 Autumn
Oh. Could have sworn I did.
Either way, he's in Moscow!
I need someone to hold him down while I pull out his toenails.
Elouise Warrock 01/28/17 Autumn
Ugh. Fine. I'll get up.
Did I ever mention my first husband?
Elouise Warrock 01/28/17 Autumn
Where tf is my massage?
Also, I have someone I want you to meet!
Elouise Warrock 01/26/17 Autumn
Well, it's not like you can get me more pregnant.
...or pregnant at all.
Elouise Warrock 01/26/17 Autumn
No. I'm flirting with you, dumb ass.
Elouise Warrock 01/26/17 Autumn
We can change that ;;;;o
Elouise Warrock 01/26/17 Autumn
Gross? You two are NOT boning on my compound.
Don't tell my husband I'm getting a massage from another man. He'll kill me.
Elouise Warrock 01/26/17 Autumn
...okay. I'm listening.
Elouise Warrock 01/26/17 Autumn
I will kick his ass.
I'm pregnant, but I'm also fit af. I will RUIN him.
Elouise Warrock 01/26/17 Autumn
There's nothing to see in Moscow. Case-closed.
I'm moody and I'm not sharing. That mofo better be prepared to sight-see on his own, because I need Autumn-time.
Elouise Warrock 01/26/17 Autumn
Elouise Warrock 01/26/17 Autumn
Um. No. This is his fault.
100%. No debates.
... I wasn't sober enough to pay attention, okay. Scotch is powerful. Jamouise was NOT on purpose.
Elouise Warrock 01/26/17 Autumn
He said I'm gassy, because I'm pregnant.
I need snuggles, hurry tf up.
Elouise Warrock 01/26/17 Autumn
If I tell you, you have to promise not to laugh.
And yes, I'm in Moscow. It's too f*cking cold to go anywhere. And I think if I leave Jameson will probably kill Cal, and that's my job.
Elouise Warrock 01/26/17 Autumn
I'm brooding alone in my suite.
I locked rude ass husband out.
Elouise Warrock 01/26/17 Autumn
He said...
Long story short, every here is horrible and you're my only person left.
Elouise Warrock 01/26/17 Autumn
WTF. I need my BFF.
And Jameson is bullying me.
Elouise Warrock 01/26/17 Autumn
Ugh. Kittens.
I'm watching rom-coms and eating my feelings. Come join!
Elouise Warrock 01/26/17 Autumn
I know how to tango, you turd.
Ask Jameson! I used to drag him out all of the time.
Taco Tuesdays are all-inclusive.
Elouise Warrock 01/26/17 Autumn
Summer, obviously.
I've got rhythm, bee-otch.
Elouise Warrock 01/26/17 Autumn
You're embarrassing af.
And for the record, I'm a great dancer.
Your sister taught me a lot. Maybe that's why Jameson is always in a good mood?
Elouise Warrock 01/25/17 Autumn
False. My stomach is happy 24/7!
Elouise Warrock 01/25/17 Autumn
So just imagine how many I had yesterday!
Elouise Warrock 01/25/17 Autumn
I may or may not have referred to him by your name.
It's not even lunch yet and I've already had four tacos.
Elouise Warrock 01/25/17 Autumn
I may or may not have pissed Winter off.
In my defense, it was hilarious.
Summer 01/24/17 Autumn
I didn't sneak out. I just didn't live with a bunch of people so nobody noticed. That and...everyone seemed a bit preoccupied.
Australia does seem to suit me. It is Summer here (hehe) so I can wander around in shorts and tank tops all the time! When these sunny days get old, I'll come to London. In truth, I had eyeballed a nice long visit to the coast of Mexico, but changed my mind.
Elouise Warrock 01/24/17 Autumn
But you're more adorable. ;)
And I'm lucky to have you. ;) that good enough?
Elouise Warrock 01/24/17 Autumn
But he's so f*cking cute! Come ooooon!

I guess I'll stop. I can fawn over you if you want! ;)
Elouise Warrock 01/24/17 Autumn
Omfg. No one is getting cut.
I'm just saying in comparison to my husband, I'm always the horrible one.
I mean, you've met Jameson, right? He's the best person ever.
Elouise Warrock 01/24/17 Autumn
Autumn. Think about who you're talking about.
Jameson is the best person ever.
I'm the sh*tlord in this situation, 100% of the time.
Elouise Warrock 01/24/17 Autumn
...I think it's a term of endearment for us.
He told me I was perfect the other day. He's fine.
And, yes, I'm definitely offering.
...because it'
Elouise Warrock 01/24/17 Autumn
Jameson says I'm a potato all of the time.
Literally before he kissed me for the first time, he called me a potato. I am the embodiment of a potato.
...I give better massages. F*ck that guy.
Elouise Warrock 01/24/17 Autumn
Omg. No. Jameson is the only one who gets to see me naked.
And even then, no. I'm a f*cking potato.
...time is a social convention. I'm obviously better.
Elouise Warrock 01/24/17 Autumn
Ha. Haha.
Sure, Jameson is my husband. So is Jason. See?
I don't like this Lucius. He's stealing my Autumn time.
Elouise Warrock 01/24/17 Autumn
You mean Jason? He is my husband.
...and I think he's bi. Whatever. He's a great cuddler.
It's not MY fault Jameson works. Or that I'm needy.
Who the f*ck is Lucius?!
Elouise Warrock 01/24/17 Autumn
It doesn't count if they're gay!
If you'd come to Moscow, I would add you to the list of snuggle-buddies, but nooooo, you've got more important matters to attend to.
Elouise Warrock 01/24/17 Autumn
Winter is a lovable, but a wh*re. I can't possibly be a wh*re, I'm monogamous!
...unless that's wrong. Who knows. Maybe we are alike!
Elouise Warrock 01/24/17 Autumn
Ugh. Cats make me so happy.
Not as happy as you make me, though!
Come visit you b*tch.
Summer 01/23/17 Gorgeous
I'm chillin' in Syndey for a bit. The beaches are fabulous and there is eye candy galore. Here's me taking a picture of one while he takes a picture of me. If you're looking to be on the opposite side of the globe from London for any reason, I have a place for you to crash.

Elouise Warrock 01/23/17 Autumn
I have a great metabolism!
...and... other stuff.
Elouise Warrock 01/23/17 Autumn
My diet consists of tacos, burritos, cheetos, red wine and ice cream.
Elouise Warrock 01/23/17 Autumn
I was so bored today I went for a hike on my treadmill.
I EXERCISED. tbh it's fun I'm having a great time.
Am I a fitness nut now?
Elouise Warrock 01/23/17 Autumn
This is why we're friends.
Elouise Warrock 01/22/17 Autumn
My husbands are jealous of my extracurricular cuddling with your brother.
They'd probably be less jealous if it was with you.
Come back to me!
Elouise Warrock 01/22/17 Autumn
I think I just slept for an entire day...
It was beautiful.
Elouise Warrock 01/20/17 Autumn
Cuddle buddy.
Elouise Warrock 01/20/17 Autumn
I saw it. NO THANK YOU.
... I think Winter is moving in. Help.
Elouise Warrock 01/20/17 Autumn
Can he carry the next f*cking baby then?
I don't think it's normal. UGH.
Why do babies and my husband have to be so damn cute?
Is there a return policy on children?
Elouise Warrock 01/20/17 Autumn
You're welcome! He's fine as hell.
No, no twins. As far as I know. This is just half-pregnant, half fat.
I think Jameson wants to have more than one kid. Is that normal??
Elouise Warrock 01/20/17 Autumn
Are you drunk already?
Have you seen my husband??
Omfg. Does that really happen? AM I GOING TO DIE?
Elouise Warrock 01/20/17 Autumn
Summer says double pregnant is a thing!
Now she wants to be a doctor. You should probably intervene.
Elouise Warrock 01/19/17 Autumn
Of course I'll like the little sh*t, it's mine.
Minus the puke I think we're already friends!
But that doesn't mean I'm doing this whole sober thing ever again.
BORING AF. Unless our kid is really cute. Then maybe we'll have like 12-15 more. And name them all George Foreman.
Elouise Warrock 01/19/17 Autumn
-Child-. CHILD. Singular.
One and done. I'm not a rabbit, jfc.
If Jameson wants more kids he can have an affair.
Elouise Warrock 01/19/17 Autumn
Excuse? My mother always came up with the best games.
Did you ever run with scissors?
Oh. Oh my god. Okay I get it now.
Elouise Warrock 01/19/17 Autumn
... Really?
What about 'metal pole in the lightning storm'? That was one of my favorites!
Elouise Warrock 01/19/17 Autumn
Am I the only kid who played 'toaster in the bathtub'???
Jameson Orlav 01/19/17 Autumn
Erm, I'm not sure there's room for you in the nursery..
Jameson Orlav 01/19/17 Autumn
Completely at peace with it. Who's idea do you think this was, anyway? You should see the nursery.. Don't tell Elouise I'm building a nursery. Its a surprise.
Jameson Orlav 01/19/17 Autumn
You're right. I'm even laughing right now. But she's asleep, I think, so covet your peace.
Jameson Orlav 01/19/17 Autumn
>.> what do you think I do in my office all day?
Elouise Warrock 01/18/17 Autumn
I think Jameson would kill me.
But I mean. COME. ON. The man has moves.
If you can't tell, he's still working. And here I am, covered in cats and dogs.
Can't believe I wasted like five months not molesting him. WTF was wrong with me.
Well, Tequila. Reefer. A smidgen of cocaine.
Elouise Warrock 01/18/17 Autumn
Also, what the f*ck are hashtags? I'm so behind. The Internet is really testing the limits of my mind, here.
I can understand Skype. Jameson did a strip tease on camera while I was in Buffalo.
... he's honestly a pretty good dancer.
Elouise Warrock 01/18/17 Autumn
He'll LOVE it.
Jameson is so f*cking cute I want to puke.
I literally just want to hug him all day.
This is the hormones speaking.
Elouise Warrock 01/18/17 Autumn
B*tch, I'm pregnant for a goddamn reason.
... had to lock this sh*t down, hard.
And he's so nice and sweet and cute. 😍😍
Don't tell him I said that. Or do. I don't care.
I LOVE MY HUSBAND. I'm printing t-shirts.
Elouise Warrock 01/18/17 Autumn
And you're the only person I'm okay with having this knowledge! ❤️❤️
He's carved from stone. Jesus Christ. The least he could do is have a LITTLE body fat. How do you cuddle with a boulder??
Elouise Warrock 01/18/17 Autumn
I spent 20 of the 24 hours in the day with him.
It would be better if he spent at least 18 of those hours shirtless. But, we can't all get what we want.
Moscow is always open to you, darling. You know that.
Elouise Warrock 01/18/17 Autumn
Or come back to me!
You left Jameson and I alone for five minutes and it didn't end well.
Well, it did. But it also involved me not ignoring my feelings. Gross. Please return ASAP.
Elouise Warrock 01/18/17 Autumn
Spring and I would make great friends if she didn't scare the piss out of me.
You can solve any undesirable situation with fire, y'know.
Elouise Warrock 01/18/17 Autumn
Oh god. If it's twins I'm dipping. DON'T JINX IT.
If I have to raise two tiny me's I will drown myself. Can you even imagine? They would just feed off each other's demon energy.
What did Spring do? Are you sure it's not funny?
Elouise Warrock 01/18/17 Autumn
Double pregnant isn't a thing, right?
Did we go over this already?
Wait. Do I need to fly to London? Whose ass am I kicking?
Elouise Warrock 01/18/17 Autumn
I miss you, come back.
Also, Jameson is SO. HOT.
He can make a sandwich AND pour juice all at the same time.
If that isn't sexy, I don't know what is.
Elouise Warrock 01/18/17 Autumn
I love your brother. If you ever get tired of Winter, you know who to give him to.
Elouise Warrock 01/18/17 Autumn
Don't worry, I'll take care of the extraneous stuff.
Best of luck in London!
Elouise Warrock 01/18/17 Autumn
Ugh. Fine. Only because I know you'll come back.
Don't forget to give Nigel his present! Call his wife fat or something too.
Maybe pop his son's soccer ball.
Jameson Orlav 01/18/17 Autumn
What.. Why are you saying that?
Elouise Warrock 01/18/17 Autumn
You can't leave! You're the only person here who doesn't think I'm horrible!
Elouise Warrock 01/18/17 Autumn
Elouise Warrock 01/17/17 Autumn
Does this count?
[video recorded]
Elouise Warrock 01/17/17 Autumn
I'm scarred for life.
You're awful.
Elouise Warrock 01/17/17 Autumn
Elouise Warrock 01/17/17 Autumn
He won't tell me!
I don't want to ask the Internet. It's scary.
Jameson Orlav 01/17/17 Autumn
Do NOT fall for her lies. Believe me when I say that she knows what sexting is. She's just trying to get you to send nudes.
Elouise Warrock 01/17/17 Autumn
I'm not trying to get YOU laid.
I'm learning a lot about 'booty calls'.
What is sexting?
Elouise Warrock 01/17/17 Autumn
Okay. Fine. We can go dancing.
I don't have any clothes that look good AND fit.
Elouise Warrock 01/17/17 Autumn
Elouise Warrock 01/17/17 Autumn
Um, I don't ask. Or tell.
You can dance, and I'll stuff my husband's hard earned money into some guy's thong. Win-Win.
Elouise Warrock 01/17/17 Autumn
Yes clubs. Elouise go to clubs.
Need shirtless men dancing on me.
Jameson won't get me food.
Elouise Warrock 01/17/17 Autumn
Food. Am need food.
Elouise Warrock 01/16/17 "Dad implies participation in my life. It's Nigel. And yes, mischief is one of the innumerable reasons we're friends."

Elouise flicks Autumn on the arm. "I'm going to go eat a double cheeseburger and take a nap. ...and then we're gonna do something fun. Like Yahtzee. And I'll even let you drink." With a little wave, the blonde teeters off, onesie and all.
Elouise Warrock 01/16/17 She lets out a groan, eyes rolling. "Autumn, it's a joke. I got him a watch. Okay? You're acting like I want to kidnap him and bring him to Moscow to be tortured, or something."
Elouise Warrock 01/16/17 "No, that was a joke. I'm not crazy. I just need you to give something to my father for me. He said he'd be in Moscow, but, plans change..." The disappointment in her tone is palpable, but she simply shrugs, a smile replacing her mood.

"I'll give it to you before you leave. It's not a big box. ...and it should probably get through airport security."
Elouise Warrock 01/16/17 "Pft. I'm pretty sure Jameson is close to ditching. Or kicking me out. He cleans up so much puke. Sometimes I don't even attempt to get to a trash can or toilet." Her brows waggle, a devious glint in her eyes. "How else is he going to know how I feel?"

Lifting one of the frames, Elouise donning a sombrero, double-fisting bottles of tequila. Classy. "London? Just some... light kidnapping. Nothing serious."
Elouise Warrock 01/16/17 Elouise releases the shorter woman, giving her a pat on the head. Because she's fun-sized and adorable. Taking her bag, the blonde begins trudging back from whence she had come, padded feet stomping as she did.

"You're right. My husband never makes me do anything. He's wonderful." As she guides Autumn through the heart of their complex, she shoots a glance back. "I guess this means you're on puke duty. Lucky you." An idle smirk dances on her lips as she stops, pushing open the door to an unoccupied room.

Everything seemed to be in order, and Elouise had even made the space a bit more homey. decorating it with several pictures of herself, of course. "And you can massage my feet. And my back. You're my b*tch now."
Elouise Warrock 01/16/17 Autumn

Elouise finally crawls out of bed, grumbling under her breath as she heads towards the entrance, not at all thrilled to be a) awake or b) moving. She was dressed head-to-toe in her Wonder Woman onesie, and a cranky scowl. In the foyer stood one punny red-head, as well as her luggage.

"I won't even get out of bed for Jameson, so, you're welcome." Her attitude subsides as she grapples the woman in a bear-hug. "Welcome to Moscow, you skank."
Elouise Warrock 01/16/17 Actual Wench
That involves me getting up. Just come in, it's not locked, ass.
I hope you brought food, or we're not friends.
Elouise Warrock 01/16/17 Autumn
You're talking to the master of knock knocks, here.
The door is not stuck.
Elouise Warrock 01/16/17 Autumn
Elouise Warrock 01/16/17 Autumn
jfc. Who's there?
Jameson Orlav 01/16/17 Autumn
What do you call a nosy pepper?
Elouise Warrock 01/16/17 Autumn
Details better shared in person.
And I don't want Jameson to know. He's stressed enough.
Elouise Warrock 01/16/17 Autumn
Pft. I do that all of the time.
When you go back to London, I may have a small job for you.
Nothing lethal, I swear!
Elouise Warrock 01/16/17 Autumn
Did you tell Dr. Handsome you're coming to visit?
I think he's still mad I puked on his Armani this morning.
Elouise Warrock 01/16/17 Autumn
Guess it's back to clinging to Jameson's leg until he tranquilizes me!
Elouise Warrock 01/16/17 Autumn
Um. That seems like more of a you problem.
I need constant human contact or I'll die.
Jameson can verify. I become more of a monster than before.
Elouise Warrock 01/16/17 Autumn
I would say you could just come hide in my bed oasis, but Jameson is VERY territorial about cuddle time. He's like a koala.
But cuter.
Elouise Warrock 01/16/17 Autumn
Last week I left for like an hour to get some soup, and I think I lost a toe. So, no.
My movements are limited to the bathroom and my bed. And sometimes Jameson's office, but that's just to distract him. Or send him for tacos.
Elouise Warrock 01/16/17 Autumn
Oh, good. Just don't tell Jameson that.
He'll get a complex.
Elouise Warrock 01/16/17 Autumn
Jameson and I both grew beards since you were here last.
Mother Russia, man.
Jameson Orlav 01/16/17 Autumn
She always seems to be. Doesn't do as good of a job hiding it as she thinks. I keep her on her toes. Don't want those wits going dull while she's unable to wreak havoc. That's ❤👍
Jameson Orlav 01/16/17 Autumn
Whatever Elouise told you, don't believe her. But you know you're always welcome in Moscow. We're happy to host you.

If you don't mind, I'd rather my little recruitment speech stay between you and I. Elouise.. Doesn't need the added stress. Its kind of a surprise.
Elouise Warrock 01/16/17 Autumn
You should come back to Moscow.
That way Jameson can hang out with you, and I can do literally anything else. And I miss you.
Elouise Warrock 01/16/17 Autumn
At this point, he cries more than I do.
And then he tries to rub my stomach for good luck.
Even tequila didn't make me this sick. Tequila was a good friend.
Elouise Warrock 01/16/17 Autumn
My favorite part of every morning is when Jameson holds my hair back while I puke, and we both realize our love isn't strong enough to survive this pregnancy. ❤
Elouise Warrock 01/14/17 Autumn
You touch my butt, I touch yours!
...maybe I'll get some chap-stick with this nine bucks.
Jameson Orlav 01/13/17 Autumn
Its no use. Its MY money, and I think she gets some sort of sick satisfaction from someone stealing it out from under her.
Summer 01/12/17 Hearing her phone buzz, Summer sat up on the couch, shoving bags of crisps and Cheetohs out of her way in search of it. It gave a second reminder buzz a few moments later. "F-ck!" She squealed in frustration, finally fishing her phone out of a now-empty ice cream container. Pinching it between two fingers, she wiped it off on her yoga pants. Clamping a short roach between her lips, she sent a reply.

Dude...I know of what you speak. I only know what day it is when Carl comes a-knockin' to pick me up and take me to work.
It was really great seeing you the other night. We need to do it more often. No need to wait for some bullsh-t reasons.
Jameson Orlav 01/11/17 Autumn
No. .. Well, I don't know. It depends on which side of the fence you're on, I guess. She's not completely squared with me, but she's blood. Something tells me you know what I'm saying.
Jameson Orlav 01/11/17 Autumn
Lol. You're cheesier than the dairy section.
She's, uh. Well. I haven't actually asked her yet, but. My sister, Noura.. Don't believe anything Elouise says about her.
Jameson Orlav 01/11/17 Autumn
Heh. No, but you're equipped with fangtastic other abilities. Like bloodlust. And strength. Look, its not too involved, I just need someone who is bipartial to accompany me. There's only one person in Moscow that I could sway...
-Oh, and Weevil who??
Jameson Orlav 01/11/17 Autumn
Its a bit of a merc mission. An extraction of sorts. Someone with your.. Strength, certainly could be considered a valuable ally.

Ano? Kdo je to?
Jameson Orlav 01/11/17 Autumn
Let me check it over with preggers.. And if you don't mind, this time I'll come to you. It turns out I have some business to take care of in New York. A layover us no trouble.

Unless you're looking to make some extra cash, in which case, I may have a favor to ask.
Jameson Orlav 01/11/17 Autumn
I was being a smart ass. That's just kind of my /thing/.
Jameson Orlav 01/11/17 Autumn
Assuming you're not some half-breed, vampire/alien hybrid, pathogenically speaking, you're all encoded with the same infection. So.. Yes, your blood would do. Am I to bid on it now?
Jameson Orlav 01/11/17 Autumn
Always.. Why? Did someone piss you off? Have you got a specimen?
Summer 01/09/17 Autumn
Here's something I don't miss from the old days: Hangovers.

Christ on rye, I feel f-cking fantastic. Fresh as a god damned daisy, despite tying one on as hard as we did.
Jameson Orlav 01/09/17 Autumn
Daisy whoooo?
Jameson Orlav 01/09/17 *deep breath*

Alright, I'll bite.
Who goes there?!
Camille 01/09/17 -laughs, hands clasping together-
"Whatever you wish? Hmm. Not yet. But maybe someday."
-toddles off-
Camille 01/09/17 -sated smirk-
"An invitation? Tooooo... Bite my ass?"
-Turns, tries to stare at her own bum-
"Not much meat there, I'm afraid. Bit boney, sweet."
Camille 01/09/17 -skips around-
-little blue gummies pop into her mouth, one by one-
-stops, stares-
"Oy, Red! You're too pretty to be muffling around this ghetto."
-looks around suspiciously-
Jameson Orlav 01/09/17 Autumn
Did Elouise happen to hand you off the drugs she can't use anymore?
..also I'm stealing those jokes.
Jameson Orlav 01/09/17 *skeptical typing*

Hanna who?
Jameson Orlav 01/09/17 *twitches*

This is Sir Jameson Orlav, who's there?
Jameson Orlav 01/09/17 *deadpan stares at his phone*

Autumn .. Cows go who?
Jameson Orlav 01/09/17 Autumn
Who the f-- I mean.. Who's there?
Summer 01/07/17 Despite her livelihood, Summer's current existence consisted mainly of going to work, then either having Carl drive her home or taking the tube to her gritty neighborhood. Maybe a stop at a chip shop, probably a stop at a grocery for necessities, then she'd hunker down at home watching some programs and avoiding the world. The peace and quiet was nice, but a little unnerving. She missed her family.

Forcing the corners of her lips up into a smile, she grabbed a hunk of her hair and dangled it over Autumn. Remnants of glitter may or may not rain down on her sister. Laughing, she commented, "You're pretty enough without the glitter."

Watching her sister finish off her last shots, Summer calls to the bartender. "Oi, Mary! Bottle of Penderyn's. To go." She cackles. "Put it on my tab, I'll settle up next week." Tucking the slim bottle of single malt in the crook of her arm, she caught up to her sister. Looping her free arm through Autumn's, the pair sauntered out onto the busy London streets. She waved the bottle at Autumn. "Something to get us from point A to point B."
Summer 01/07/17 Grinning a bit madly, it sure was being out with her sis. It had been far too long. Why? Eh, life. Stupid sh-t. The usual. When you've got forever, priorities shift. Urgency wanes. Nodding her head enthusiastically, her blonde mane swished in the light. Fragments of multicolored glitter glinted in the light. "I'm never danced out. Besides, this dancing is different. I'll eventually need something stronger than whiskey." Her voice was mild, knocking back another shot. Her family knew of her proclivities and made no bones about them, bless their hearts. They knew what she was running from, what she covered up.
Summer 01/07/17 Her younger sister was especially diminutive next to her while still in her work shoes. "Work shoes"=stripper heels, natch. Staring a bit openly at Autumn's doll face for a few blinks, she then clamped her lips shut and nodded. There were things in this world in which to push. Autumn Summers was not one of them. Besides, she'd never been a fan of her sisters beau- an odd grudge since she'd never actually met the guy. There was more to that, but nothing worth thinking about now.

Waving her hand dismissively as she knocked a shot back, she said with some indifference, "Eh, I'm not too sure stumbling drunk into a cathedral after a hot chick only to end up married is worthy of celebration. Being single definitely is, but..." She tossed another one back, not even bringing the shot glass to her lips, instead just tilting her head back and pouring the liquid down. "We can also just clear our minds entirely." Her grin was a bit wolfish, feral.
Summer 01/07/17 Set finished, money collected, peripheral coworkers tipped out accordingly, Summer made her way to the dressing room. Since she was hitting the town with one of her sisters, she decided to just shimmy on some skin tight black pants and not bother with a top. Instead, she slipped on a very fluffy purple faux fur jacket over her neon yellow mesh bra. Yea it was winter. Cold didn't bother her. As such, she could dress completely inappropriately no matter the season. Touching up her eyeliner and smearing on more lipstick, the blond didn't waist any more time.

That red hair could be spotted from a kilometer away. Grinning, she sauntered up, pleased to see her younger sibling had gotten started while waiting. Having not spent much time with her lately, Summer didn't notice the absent necklace, so she didn't comment on it.

"Babe! You look fantastic, as always. What's the occasion? Do we need an occasion?" Summer laughed as she went to embrace Autumn. She beckoned the bartender for another round of shots.
Summer 01/07/17 Figuring she had glitter in her eye, Summer stared at her phone blinking. Empty, eh? Huh. Probably Beige was out on business or some sh-t. ***** Better Have My Money blared on the speakers throughout The Windmill. " ****." Summer muttered. Fingers flying, she quickly texted in response before heading on stage for her last set.

I read that and figured I was high, but then realized I only dance sober. So ahhh, yea. We'll talk once you get here. Or not, talking's for p-ssies anyway. I've seen enough of that all day, knowwhatImean?
I'll tell Carl (the bouncer) to let you in. Meet ya at the bar, then we bounce and f-ck some sh-t up, like the good ole days.
Summer 01/07/17 Autumn
I'm working for another hour. You wanna meet me here, then we can hit the pub down the street? It's low key. I could use some ale. And chips. Mmmm damn, I'm hungry. Actually, I'm gonna cut out after my next set. Twist my arm.
What's up? Usually your dance card is full on a Saturday night!
Summer 01/05/17 Autumn
Thanks. I'm mellowing, thanks to a very nice batch of Purple Haze. I'm happy. I'm always happy. Except when my nearest and know what, never mind. Water under the bridge.
I saw Twig. Lurking near work, if you can believe it. Hope he doesn't come in while I'm on stage. #awkward #betterbringcash I don't think he saw me. I was rolling as Super Stealth Summer.
....he can't hurt me. Not like he thinks he can. Not after my...ummm "change". Stay safe sugar.
Summer 01/04/17 Autumn
They do when one half of the pair is a dumbass like me.
Clearly you are mad as well. I have a pill for that. Gonna go take it now.
Summer 01/04/17 Autumn
Winter is freaking out, so I figured I'd send a text to you to cover my ass. Yes, I stumbled into the cathedral and got hitched. I'm clearly being pranked, as I've never even talked to the chick, she's really pretty and was probably like- look at this b-tch, high as f-ck, let's see what happens. Well jokes on her, as now she's part of this family! An honor, yes, but one not many can handle. I didn't "invite" anyone for the same reason I don't invite people to watch me buy a pack of smokes. It just happened.
Elouise Warrock 01/04/17 Autumn
I can't believe Camille and Summer didn't invite me. I'm DOUBLE offended.
Elouise Warrock 01/04/17 Autumn
Jameson Orlav 01/04/17 Autumn
Damn, we really don't like this guy, eh? I've never met a Ghoul.. I wonder if Spring would let me borrow her hubster?
..Sorry, that made me laugh. Completely for my own amusement.
Jameson Orlav 01/04/17 Autumn .. Sky? Will? Oh, sh!t, not Spring? Damn, he's in for it. She's cra-Uh, crazy lovely and wonderful!
Anyway.. You're sure he's a 'Ghoul'? I mean, I didn't think that was really a thing..
Jameson Orlav 01/04/17 Autumn
A.. Ghoul? What do you mean? Can you be more specific?
Camille 01/03/17 Camille's teeth click together.

Click. Click. Click.

The noise a mere echo beneath the hollow bridge of her mouth. Aggressively it fights against the low rumble of her throat; vibrations rising like bile along her esophageal lining in frustration.

One sniff. Two sniff. Vampire. Even since the closing of After Dark, London was a mess of plague- riddled to the core with the disgusting excuse of the undead. What was worse than the vile existence of human beings which she loathed entirely was these f-cking leeches.

But oh, how London carried a swift tune against her cold little heart.

Mere coincidence would bring the blonde together with the flaming haired beauty. In another life Camille may have gone forth and claimed her in the name of the residual darkness inside. Not now, though. She had been tarnished by the eternal damnation. Much to the Angels dismay.

"Oh quelle honte." The words drip carelessly from her lips, like warm honey against a milky eve.

And then, as she passes, her fist rears forward and breaks through the wall of atmosphere between them. Camille strikes once, and then twice, until the girl is on her ass. Only then would she lean over and pluck a token of her satisfaction from the woman beneath her. Cami isn't even sure quite what she had grabbed, but it was hard and it was shiny.

She stuffs it in her pocket.
"Too pretty for this life, Mon Cher..." Tender fingers reach to caress the cold and undead skin of her aggressed, before she is off like a bolt in the night.

You hit Autumn Summers. You won the encounter!
Elouise Warrock 12/31/16 Autumn
Hope you stay as ugly in 2017 as you did in 2016. ;o
See you in the New Year!
Elouise Warrock 12/28/16 ďWell. I wouldnít say hindsight is one of my strengths. But. Iím glad weíre friends.Ē She shoots her a wink, pulling her winter jacket back over as she begins to stand up. ďAs always, youíre welcome any time you come to visit Moscow.Ē

ďIíll be back through soon enough. The trip to see my mother is one of those unfortunate, inevitable things.Ē All but back together, sheís toying with her phone again. No doubt to order a car. ďThanks for the drink, Autumn.Ē She places a hand on the other womanís arm, giving it a small squeeze. ďSee you soon.Ē
Elouise Warrock 12/27/16 "I feel like ****." She shakes her head. Finally, her shame shows through. "I wouldn't draw a gun on Noura. This baby is driving me crazy." It was the strongest impulse Elouise had ever felt. And it had led her astray.

"I think Buffalo will have to wait a few days. I have too much to fix at home." She's scanning her phone, fielding memos, checking flights. "After all, I'll still be married and pregnant when I get to my mother's, and she'll still not know until I get there. The fun will simply have to wait."
Elouise Warrock 12/27/16 ďItís pretty f*cked up. I didnít ask for any of this. For him.Ē She begins to toy with her wedding band, her smile only growing. ďI love him so much. It makes me sick.Ē Literally. Sheís puked on him more times than she can count. ďWe got married in London. I didnít waking up that morning with a clue of how it would all work out. SometimesÖ you just know.Ē

A low scoff leaves her lips. Her smile fades. ďAnd if you had told me Iíd have wanted a baby, I would have said you were crazy. But the truth is, AutumnÖ Iím not terrified of having the child. Itís the loving part of it. I didnít think I could love anything more than I love Jameson. I meanÖ itís not even here. What if itís ugly? Iím going to love an ugly baby more than my own husband?!Ē

Sheís starting to shift from exasperation to hysteria, the water works coming on. But, she shuts them down. ďÖI guess all newborns start out kind of ugly, donít they?Ē
Elouise Warrock 12/27/16 "He's not going to be there. I wouldn't let that happen again, Autumn. He's everything to me." Her fingertips grip her empty wine glass, jaw setting as she emits a sharp sigh. She's embittered. Still so enraged over the events that had transpired.

Her head hangs, eyes rolling. Mothering instinct. She could hardly take care of herself. But she was right, and Elouise knew it. She groans, head swinging back to rest against the padded booth.

"No, no. My layover is twelve hours. I saw Dad and." You. She finally manages a faint smile. "I have to get back to Heathrow soon enough. But I couldn't sit there for hours. So. Here I am."
Elouise Warrock 12/27/16 Noura. "She's Jameson's sister. F*cking b*tch." A feeling of disgust washes over her -- it's visible in her expression. "And I'd do it again."

Elouise diverts her gaze, shaking her head as she mulls over the events of two days prior. "She threatened my baby. I... I don't know what came over me."
Elouise Warrock 12/27/16 She's trying to continue. To explain exactly what transpired. She lets out a laugh, shaking her head. It's not amusement, but exasperation.

Elouise didn't know if she could ever get over it. The thought that she might have killed him if he had intervened at the wrong moment.

"Noura came for Christmas dinner. I tried to kill her. It didn't go as planned." With that said and done, she chugs the last of her wine, appearing absolutely miserable.
Elouise Warrock 12/27/16 Elouise sits at the booth, arms folded, face pressed to the table. She lifts her head at the sound of Autumn's voice. She looks tired, like she hasn't slept since Christmas.

Maybe she hasn't.

"Hi." It's a start for her. Sipping on the glass of wine in front of her. Screw half a glass. She needed the whole bottle, as far as she was concerned. But Baby Satan kind of screwed up those plans.

Her voice drops to a mumble, the only audible words of the whole thing being: "...and I shot my husband."
Elouise Warrock 12/27/16 Autumn
Chelsea. Meet me at the Bluebird?
Yes, alcohol. One glass of wine won't do anything.
Maybe if I watch you chug a handle of Vodka, I'll feel better.
Elouise Warrock 12/27/16 Autumn
Was it the phone booth or Big Ben that gave it away?
Need a friend. Want to get a drink?
Elouise Warrock 12/27/16 Autumn
Guess who.
[img attached]
Elouise Warrock 12/25/16 Autumn
Oh my god. Those booties. My heart is going to burst. Thank you!
Merry Christmas, BFF.
Elouise Warrock 12/24/16 Autumn
Please. We even have cameras in the bathrooms.
I'll have material for the next hundred years!
Elouise Warrock 12/24/16 Autumn
Yeah, but none of them are gingers, so I can't even pretend!
...and they're all on their Christmas benders. Here I am, unfortunately sober, and folding socks.
Elouise Warrock 12/24/16 Autumn
It's the ugly red-head I pay to be my friend.
What do you think I'm supposed to do when you're not here?
Elouise Warrock 12/24/16 BFF
Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal.
[img attached]
Jameson Orlav 12/24/16
Elouise Warrock 12/22/16 -shifty eyes-
-dusts off more glitter-
Airport bar? Two birds with one stone. And you'll sleep great on the flight!
Elouise Warrock 12/22/16 -rolls eyes-
He's so lucky to have me. And he's working tonight. Which means...
-taps chin-
No plans! Let's go get drunk. Well. You drink. I'll have two ounces of wine and pretend I'm happy.
Elouise Warrock 12/22/16 -cackles-
-...coughs out some glitter-
He might forgive me after he gets his Christmas present.
It's that good.
Elouise Warrock 12/22/16 -wide eyes-
Ohemgee. He's going to kill me.
I already glitterbombed him today!
But I'm pregnant, so he can't throw me out. And he'll never be free of the glitter now!
Elouise Warrock 12/22/16, nonono!
-miserably glittered-
-definitely deserved it-
...summ'uv'a'bish. Merry Christmas, assh0le.
Jameson Orlav 12/22/16 *goes limp*
*deadpans into oblivion*
..You two are going to be the death of me, aren't you?
*senses he will never get the glitter out of his clothes*
Elouise Warrock 12/22/16 Fifth? Try -...
-cringes, dive bombs to bed-
-...okay so it was filled with glitter-
Elouise Warrock 12/22/16 Well, Jameson does bring home tacos. That's the best thing anyone has ever done for me.
-devious grin-
Well...whatever you prefer. It doesn't make a difference to me. But if you open it in London, have Gray film your response.
Elouise Warrock 12/22/16 Even Jameson isn't this romantic! Come in!
I was just staring at a glass of tequila and pretending to book flights to see my mother.
-scrambles in, grabs a rectangular box-
Ignore the 'Happy Birthday' wrapping paper.
-offers box-
-definitely not rigged to explode glitter everywhere-
Elouise Warrock 12/22/16 Autumn
Fine. I need to put pants on.

-grumbling from other side-
-swings door open, screams-
You sneaky little rat! What are you doing here?!
Elouise Warrock 12/22/16 Autumn
So does Jameson!
I will! It's been a few months.
Well, since my wedding.
My father lives in Chelsea. Don't eat him!
Elouise Warrock 12/22/16 Autumn
No need! Jameson's credit card is great for over-night shipping.
I'm sure I'll chat with you again once you receive it. Enjoy London. ❤️
Elouise Warrock 12/22/16 Autumn
Neither do I~.
Your Christmas present is nearly wrapped and ready.
I might even put on real clothes to give it to you tomorrow!
Elouise Warrock 12/22/16 Autumn
So, *maybe* heels work.
Are you a magician?
Summer 12/20/16 Autumn
I love the overprotectiveness.
Summer 12/20/16 Autumn

I think you answered your own question. Some dude who fancied a shag. Nothin' I can't handle. Retract those fangs, Red Hot, I can see 'em from here.

Why the f-ck are you sober?
Elouise Warrock 12/20/16 Definitely BFF
World cheese tour? OMG.
Wine tour!! I can still have wine. In moderation.
This baby better be fcking WORTH it.
Elouise Warrock 12/20/16 Still Lovey
No you're not, b*tch. Because in approximately eight months you'll get to play with a chubby baby and burn a city to the ground with me.
Plus, we have to start training to hike Everest!
Elouise Warrock 12/20/16 Lovey
Of course you are! For ages 5-7. LOL.
Speaking of children, Jameson and I are naming ours Macallan Pilsner Orlav. Scotch whiskey deserves all of the credit, after all!
Elouise Warrock 12/20/16 Autumn
I was taller than Jameson last night. Omg.
It's okay, sexy comes in all shapes and sizes. Even children's extra small! ;)
Elouise Warrock 12/20/16 Autumn
Glad we're in consensus! She's too much fun to be married.
I used to be fun, once. And probably better looking. Do you have any idea how f*cking weird I'm going to look pregnant? I'm 5'10 for Christ's sake. I'm going to be wife of Sasquatch!
...I'm just going to stare longingly at my tequila.
Elouise Warrock 12/20/16 Autumn
My feet hurt, and I'm blaming you.
Congrats on the impending brother-in-law! ;o
Summer 12/20/16 Autumn

Huh? You gettin' in my edibles again? I swear to f-cking christ between you and Winter, I'm gonna be left stone cold sober. JK no chance of that ever happening. Seriously though, wtf you on about?

Checks the mail, fishing out this weeks tabloids. A tiny, dim bell goes off in Summer's brain. She picks up the phone and resumes her text. Ah, I see what it is. I haven't read that rag yet, but maybe I'll just skip it next time I'm dropping the kids off at the pool and use it for some rolling paper. I suppose your reaction is dependent on who submitted the 'hot tip'.

PS This is what I looked like when I read your text.

Elouise Warrock 12/19/16 Autumn
Of course! I'm practicing good parenting skills. Like bribery and compromise.
...and I'm buying him a puppy. Sorry!
Summer 12/19/16 Autumn Oh, haha. Sorry for the long text. It's this strain called 'Galactic Jack'. It makes me very chatty.
You do you, babe. I love you no matter what, so...just as long as you're happy. I'm glad your bloke is good. You deserve nothing less.

I'm serious about the Russian lady scarves. Need. Christmas is coming and I'VE BEEN SO GOOD.
Elouise Warrock 12/19/16 Autumn
He's with me. We're...
Um. I don't know. And I'm not even high!
Elouise Warrock 12/19/16 Autumn
Winter is tripping balls. Taking him for cocoa. Can you come get him?
Elouise Warrock 12/19/16 Autumn
Omg. I'm getting sexy as we speak. Relax.
Your influence is strong, b*tch. ...and I don't need Jameson thinking he can do better.
Elouise Warrock 12/19/16 Rude Ass
Listen. I'm busy all of the time. And if he isn't going to shave his legs, why should I shave me?! FEMINISM.
...and I'm lazy af. But he married me before he really found out just how much of a p.o.s. I am. :)
Elouise Warrock 12/19/16 Autumn
Fine. He so totally doesn't deserve it though.
WTF, Autumn. Now I have to shave my legs. THIS IS A HORRIBLE DAY.
Elouise Warrock 12/19/16 Autumn
UGH. But these jammies are comfy and I'm watching Hallmark!
And Jameson is working. He can't afford to get distracted by my legs!
...if I don't agree you're going to show up anyway, aren't you?
Elouise Warrock 12/19/16 Autumn
I can't get double pregnant, right?
Because I can't even handle one.
...I'm sticking to PJ's.
Elouise Warrock 12/19/16 Autumn
Because that sack of potatoes married me while I was *wearing* a onesie. He's easily impressed. Or doesn't complain often. Either way. easily manipulated?
Jameson Orlav 12/19/16 Autumn
I am sure Gray will be thrilled that you purchased a pair of those heels on a other mans dime. Also, rumor is that your siblings are terrifying. Mine is enough trouble as it is. Sorry, kid.
Elouise Warrock 12/19/16 Autumn
I'm really going to have to turn off those text alerts on his phone. We deserved the shoes, obviously. It's like Manolo made the shoes just for us!
I don't dress up for Jameson. He's lucky to see me in my dressier pajamas. ...but maybe just this once.
Jameson Orlav 12/19/16 Autumn
I just found a very hefty charge on my credit card, post-adventure. Do I have your influence to thank for this?
Elouise Warrock 12/17/16 Autumn
I spent like three hours looking at parenting tweets.
If this isn't me, I don't know what is:
Elouise Warrock 12/17/16 Autumn
It's a date! Best of luck with Gray.
I'll just be watching more videos of baby pranks.
Like stacking things on their faces? LOL.
Elouise Warrock 12/16/16 BRING IT
Or you could come over and watch these creepy baby monitor videos with me.
Babies are creepy little sh*ts, aren't they?
Elouise Warrock 12/16/16 Autumn
I'm far too afraid he's going to do what Michael Jackson did. I refuse to raise a Prince Jameson Orlav!
...ohemgee. What if it's a little me?!
Elouise Warrock 12/16/16 Rude
OKAY. FINE. What do you suggestt?
Elouise Warrock 12/16/16 Autumn
😦 Offended!
How about something more normal, like Fido?
Or Beethoven?
Elouise Warrock 12/16/16 Autumn
What about Bulldozer?
Or Rambo?
Elouise Warrock 12/16/16 Autumn
When baby Flamethrower tries to cut my hair off in my sleep, you will be my first call.
And you're my girl too. ;)
Elouise Warrock 12/16/16 Autumn
I'm not over the fact that it's going to be at least 7'0 tall.
...and I miss weed.
But thank you. :) If it has Jameson, it can't be 100% stupid.
Elouise Warrock 12/16/16 Autumn
...just the smallest bit.
Like, a gentle half cancer, only it's a baby.
Elouise Warrock 12/16/16 Autumn
It's plausible that you randomly took on the body of a very large, very muscular man! Growth spurts can come at the most inopportune moments.
Just like a husband's irresponsibility can too. :)
So you'll have to drink for the two of us.
...or we can just wait. Though that sounds less fun.
Elouise Warrock 12/16/16 Autumn
I'm on a fixed amount of time!
...just put Blaize in a longer wig and have him pretend to be you for a few months.
We've only got so long to burn several countries to the ground!
Elouise Warrock 12/16/16 Autumn
Night time safari?
Ooo. What about crocodile hunting?
Or a walk about in the Outback?
I'll pack you a sunhat and a poncho.
Elouise Warrock 12/16/16 Autumn
They're allowed in the cage? Even better!
I've always wanted to punch one on the nose.
Can we go on a Safari?
Elouise Warrock 12/16/16 Autumn
But it still sounds like fun!
And I want to get lowered into the ocean in a cage so I can see sharks up close.
Elouise Warrock 12/16/16 Autumn
World's largest hot dog?
And I want to swim in a pool filled with Nutella.
Elouise Warrock 12/16/16 Autumn
Dog-sledding is #15. I'm trying to skip over the live-endangering things first.
After dog-sledding is swallowing a flame.
Maybe if you impress Gray with your joie de vivre, he'll unwad his panties!
Elouise Warrock 12/16/16 Autumn
I'd have to ask Jameson about the first two items on my list.
But I think dog-sledding could be viable!
...and then I can learn how to train mine.
Elouise Warrock 12/16/16 Autumn
Just making my bucket list.
Have you ever been bungee jumping?
...would you want to go?
Elouise Warrock 12/16/16 Autumn
Do you think it's difficult to become an astronaut?
Asking for a friend.
Summer 12/16/16 Autumn

Of course Blaize and I are the only ones who think it is a good idea. Blaize is a smartypants and I am the only one who is no longer a vampire. Kinda that whole 'can't see the forest from the trees' thing? Well, I'm outta the trees babe, and have a really good view at that fanged, bloody forest that was forced upon us. F-ck that, and f-ck it.

Besides, what's the worst that can happen? You die. Okay. Sorry to be that person, but- been there, done that. So you go to hell. Make nice with the devil, I'll call in my favor I have with him, you return as a demon. Bing, bang, bong (hehe, 'bong'), all fixed! But if it is Jameson who's searching for the cure, I bet you've got it. He picked a good wife, so he can't be a total mook, right?

Spring will come around, she just has to be angry. If Winter has his panties in a wad, I haven't a clue why. And as for your man? If he has an ounce of smartness, he'll know how good he's got it with you and not be a total dumbsh-t. He'll come around too. If not, you've got your rocks: Us.

Love you babe. Take care out there. And bring home some of those multicolored scarves all the old Russian ladies wear, please.
Summer 12/13/16 Getting on the tube to Brixton, Summer snapped her gum and tugged her fuzzy knit cap down on her head. Golden hair spilled out down her parka. The winter gear was for show. Running around in a tank top and shorts in the dead of an English winter would certainly cause eyebrows to raise. Not that she was opposed to raising eyebrows. She just preferred that attention while on stage and when people had their wallets out. A thread of excitement raced through her body. She was on her way to sign the lease and get the keys to her new flat in Brixton. Finally- finally sheíd truly be on her own. Not beholden to anyone, not in someone elseís home, seeking permission to paint her bedroom walls or go into certain rooms. Hers. Where she controlled the locks and wasnít held as a Nazi vampire patriarchís fetish pet.
Swallowing thickly, her peripheral vision took in the people surrounding her. It was an old habit from her vampire days, always on the prowl for her next catch. Two chavís sat with their legs ridiculously spread wide Ėlike they really needed that much space- talking about the football match from the day prior. They then went on to talk about chicks theyíd bagged, then onto the latest gossip. Giving her gum a loud snap, she watched the underground walls flash by.
ďEy! You hear Ďbout that hot chick in the rags, sheís goan to some quack doc to not be a vamp no more. That ginger one. So fookiní hot.Ē
ďOi! No such thing as that. The only way to do that is a stake right to tha heart!Ē
ďNo, serious. Some fookiní doctor goan fix Ďer right up. Too bad, that. I got somethiní for her to suck.Ē

The chavs laughed ribaldly, moving their intellectual discussion onto something else. But Summerís attention had been piqued. Hot ginger vampire chick in the rags. Math was never her best subject, but she could put two and two together. At her stop, Summer ducked out, holding the collar of her parka up against her face. Again, she wasnít blocking the wind. She was hiding her expression from the throngs of people on the streets. Why was she learning her sister was seeking treatment to cure vampirism from some d-ckweed chavs on the tube? Same reason she learned about her family from those very rags the chavs talked about.
Early for her meeting with the landlord, Summer took a seat at the cafť and ordered a cuppa. She pulled out her phone, her face an emotionless mask.

To: Autumn

Hey baby sis. I heard on the streets you were trying to shake the vampirism . Not sure where you are or how that's gonna work but, I think it's a good choice. I've never want to go back to that. Every time I fed, I felt like I was still in that house...Not that life as a f-cking angel is perfect. At least they didnít make me this way.
Anyway. say hello to your new man! I bet he's happy you are making this change and fully cutting the ties to your abusers.
xxx ~Sum
Elouise Warrock 12/10/16 Good! Then we should definitely go out tonight. He's not fun to drink with.
-lowers voice-
And I have his credit card.
Elouise Warrock 12/10/16 -blinks-
...oh. That's why she flashed her boobs for shots.
A lot of what she does it starting to make sense now. I've come full circle!
-eyes over-
I hope my husband has been a gracious host. He can be rather dense. ...don't tell him I said that.
Elouise Warrock 12/10/16 -stage whisper-
Yeah! She's fantastic.
I want to adopt her. She said she was an... 'exotic dancer'.
Is that like...the waltz?
Elouise Warrock 12/10/16 You're probably right. Though nothing could smell worse than the jail cell I spent the night in. It was like mini-Gulag.
But then your sister bailed me out! ...and gave me Valium.
Elouise Warrock 12/10/16 I took out a larger life insurance policy in preparation!
-big grin-
Soooo, how do you like Moscow? The vodka is so inexpensive. I may start bathing in it.
Elouise Warrock 12/08/16 -stumbling down street-
-does a double take-
I knew you were here!
My husband isn't a good secret keeper.
...and I read all of his messages.
Elouise Warrock 12/07/16 Autumn
Ditched the husband.
I've got a bottle of tequila, les'go.
Jameson Orlav 12/07/16 Autumn
There's a driver waiting for you. He will know where to go. I hope you don't mind, we will be meeting at my office. First floor, end of the hall. That place isn't too big, shouldn't be hard to find. See you then.
Jameson Orlav 12/07/16 Autumn
I'm in Moscow. Let me know when you arrive. I can't meet you at the airport, but there's a place downtown. I'll text you the address. If you need a place to stay, arrangements will be made. I believe you've made acquaintance with my wife already. She would be happy to have you.
Jameson Orlav 12/07/16 Honeyed eyes flicker as they glance back and forth between words on the screen. Looking for a cure. So, people knew. They were finally talking. What Jameson needed to decide was whether this meant impending danger, or a simple curious query.

..Your country or mine?
Jameson Orlav 12/07/16 1 New Message: Jameson Orlav

Jameson is fine. What can I do for you? I've got free time in the evenings, usually. Whatever works best for you.
Summer 12/06/16 To: Red Hot
Sorry for my late reply. My dealer arrived and he had some new sh-t, and, well...anyway. That's an 'in-person' story.
Of course I'm happy for you. Is there a reason I shouldn't be? Why are those silly brothers giving you a hard time? They love you bunches, just like I do. Blaize is probably just being protective and Winter probably just wanted a reason to b-tch someone out while naked.
That actually sounds like a good idea. BRB
Camille 12/06/16 Thanks dollface. I've got a really solid game plan. I'm working hard to win this year. So many drugs and hormones. I can practically feel a fragile male ego rooting deep within.

I got this.

Summer 12/05/16 To: Autumn
All is forgiven, cuteness. It looks like you have QUITE the reason to have been distracted! ;D
I'm happy for you, Sweet Chilli! You deserve it.
I saw JFC on the streets, does that count? I probably made a fool of myself, but what's new. I seem to do better with men when they are sitting at the stage, yaknow? :D I'll leave successful dating to you.
Seriously, are you the only one of us that can maintain a relationship? Gold star to you for that one! Teach lessons. Please.
Summer 12/05/16 Text to: Autumn?

Couple things:
Do I have your number in here right? Sh-t, I dunno. If this isn't Autumn- whattup, randos!
My goddamned redheaded f-cking siblings never f-cking text me the f-ck back.....
Sh-t dude, sorry about that. My pipe's empty, my dealer is late getting here, and the benzos clearly haven't kicked in. Sounded like Spring for a second, haha.
I have a bone to pick with you missy. I have to learn from a magazine that my baby sister is a)seeing someone and b)GETTING MARRIED?!?!!?! When do I get to meet this man of mystery?
Anyway. Text me back sometime or I'm wearing white to your f-cking wedding, you gorgeous b-tch! (Don't think I won't. I'm bringing Jesus as my date. Did you read that part? Aww sh-t! DOUBLE WEDDING.)
Elouise Warrock 12/04/16 Autumn
It's Sunday. Let's go rob some church offertories.
Elouise Warrock 12/02/16 Autumn
Yes! Like a 'wow, I should put pants on today' kind of feeling.
He also brings home the bacon, and the tacos, pretty much all of the food.
...and we have furbabies. He's the Momma.
Elouise Warrock 12/02/16 Autumn
Omg. I totally agree.
I walk around in a onesie 99% of the time.
...Jameson always looks good. It's intimidating.
Elouise Warrock 12/02/16 Autumn
Joe sounds like a douche.
You're not last season! Gray might be. Until he puts on the sweater I knit him. ;)
Elouise Warrock 12/02/16 Autumn
Didn't Death and Style say they're getting it on?
It's fine! If he's related to you, he's probably cuter than me.
Don't choke!
Elouise Warrock 12/02/16 Autumn
Aren't kittens just the best?
Wait, Winter? That's the one who's having an affair with my husband, right? Small world!
Elouise Warrock 12/02/16 Autumn

How could he be mad? I got him a bowtie to match my cat's!
Elouise Warrock 12/02/16 [Snapchat Sent]

What. Did. We. Do. Last. Night.
Elouise Warrock 12/02/16 Uhm. Is that even a question?!
We're gonna close down the bar.
...and it's open 24 hours.
-flashes teeth-
Elouise Warrock 12/02/16 Good. Because otherwise I'd have to give him a firm finger wag.
Do I drink? I've been called a functionally alcoholic a few times. I have a punch card. Buy five drinks, get a free Uber home!
Elouise Warrock 12/02/16 -wide eyes- That's him?!
He rejected my friendship sweater!
...and he may or may not hate me. But you're right, he probably does look damn good in a bowtie.
Elouise Warrock 12/02/16 -squints- Is he good at selfies?
He better treat you like a queen, because...
-bows down to-
Death and Style was wrong. I'd give you an 11 out of 10 any day.
Elouise Warrock 12/02/16 -gasp- So cute! This is my husband.

He's adorable. But I may have to leave him for your brother. Selfie skills are an important part of any relationship, after all.
Elouise Warrock 12/01/16 -fans self-
Brother? Red head? Let me hide my wedding ring.
-lowers voice- I swear to God I'm monogamous.
Elouise Warrock 12/01/16 You managed to break out Autumn Summers.

I was convinced blonde hair was the only good color, but you're changing my mind.
Jameson Orlav 11/25/16 Enlarged eyes dart suspiciously, "Look, I travel a lot for work.." Jameson takes a small step back, as though he were preparing to evade a beating, "That bright hair seems to be quite trendy at the moment. Mere coincidence, really."
Jameson Orlav 11/22/16 Dark brows knot into a 'v' shape over his now narrowed eyes. A heavily sleeved arm comes across his mouth, wiping the remnants of pizza crust from the corners of his face.

He shrugs.

"Worth it." Lips perk into an exaggerated grin. It says 'I'm adorable, thanks', just before he toddles off.
Jameson Orlav 11/22/16 Shoving the last piece of pizza crust into his mouth, Jameson chews hastily, swallowing fast as he wipes his hands together and makes a spectacle of having finished his meal.

"You must be a mind reader. I was starving."

Summer 11/21/16 Sheíd heard through the tiny grapevine that was her family that her sisters had a blow out fight. Summer flopped onto her bed, shoving pillows out of the way, staring at the ceiling. Fairly sober, she licked her lips out of nervousness and put her hand on her belly. Discord among the very few she actually loved in this world made her feel physically ill. She didnít know what the fight was about and she didnít need to. That was between them. Despite that, Summer felt like she needed to reach out to the two bullheaded women, knowing that they were very likely isolating themselves. With a sigh, she chuckled as she glanced at her tall, antique apothecary chest. Each tiny drawer contained a different means of escape and isolation for the woman. They all had different ways of quieting the storm.

Rolling over, she grabbed her phone and sent out a text to each, just needing to send out that tether to her baby sisters.

Autumn, my sweet little red-hot- I want you to know I love you no matter what. Iím back in London, brought you back a cat head pipe in celebration of your new kitten. While youíre in New York, will you have a black and white cookie for me? Also maybe a cronut. I hear those are super yummy. Xoxo- S
Caitlyn Darrow 11/21/16 *Glances around*
*Gnaws on squeaky toy*
Is this a paying position to be your feet warmer?
Because I could use the cash.
Camille 11/16/16 Never mind where she had gotten the key from. The guards were on her sb-t list, and it brought her immense pleasure to see them suffer. Evenings were the easiest- the chubby little men were so often busy with an influx of activity after dawn had passed, and that's when Camille would have her fun. With each new occupant that filled the void of empty cells came another opportunity. She would wait for the slamming of heavy steel and the vacancy of the officer before she freed the prisoners. When they returned, they'd be red faced and aggravated. Just how she liked them.

"Psst. You. Red." Cami wiggles her bony little finger at the fair skinned lass. "Hurry, before they come back."

You managed to break out Autumn Summers
Summer 11/15/16 Squinting at the yell, Summer let out a long exhale. A great plume of smoke followed, surrounding the blond and creating a near accurate depiction of her aura. Coughing a few times, she peered at her sister and remarked, "I didn't know you knew I was dead?" Was she talking in circles? It sounded like it but also made sense in her mind. With another puff-cough, she added wryly, "Death didn't know what to do with me. So...I'm baaaaack!"

Watching Autumn's reaction, Summer marveled at the differences and similarities between her sisters. Spring's prickles could be seen from a mile away. Meanwhile Autumn was a bit more like a porcupine- seemingly soft until you approach or touch her. Then: stabby stabby. Seeing Autumn's cherubic face sadden sobered Summer a little bit. Hugging her tightly, Summer felt a pang of guilt. To have caused her family worry and anguish, it was distressing. Glancing back at the smoldering Pabst can laying on its side, she knew she'd be chasing those feelings away shortly. Summer's smokey brown eyes met Autumn's greens. Smiling sweetly, she touched her sisters pretty face and said, "I'm so sorry you worried and am sorry I didn't come around sooner. I really didn't think anyone knew I was gone." Scrunching up her face, she asked, "I wasn't gone that long, was I? Time is so weird."
Actives (5) Fresh Blood (0) View All The Fallen (4) Graveyard
ManannŠn mac Lir, Flahme, Harlowe mac Lir, Raven Star, Mallory Quarters    Kira Talon
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