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Jameson Orlav



 
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Disclaimer: Jameson is a slayer. He's very much wary of non-humans.
If he finds out that you're a vampire, demon or the like, he's likely to plot your
kidnapping and then try to cut your brain open for studying.

New aged Frankenstein.


Mail   ~   Attack   ~   Steal
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Slayer
Cross Bearer
Born: April 21, 2016 Forum Topics Started: 7
Race: Slayer Forum Posts / Replies: 73
Affiliation: The Order Mail Replies Sent: 4487
Home City: Moscow Mail Sent: 183
In Union With: Elouise Orlav Last Login:
Currently Online:
05/25/17 at 9:38 pm
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Current Mood: Angry  Angry 
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The Order Members
Elouise Orlav, Jason Reindhart, Lloyd R Darrow, Claire Cross, Noura Orlav, Calvin Bassey, Soleil Whitaker, Remi Rose, Nathan Krieger, Oliver Price
 
Special Items:
 Minion Horde Raiding Party Leader
Have you seen my Minion Raiding Party?
I love my Minion Raiding Party, but not all at once
My Minion Raiding Party won't come back
My Minion Raiding Party stole all my clothes
Best RP June 2016
Savage Secret Santa - Christmas 2016
Best Couple Costume ~ Masquerade 2016
Best Male Costume ~ Masquerade 2016
A limited edition assortment of peanut butter Admin eggs - Easter 2017


Jameson Orlav's Biography
BON OUI HON HON HON PASS THE GUINNESS -e.o.
You were successful in stealing $1,280.00 from Elouise Orlav.

MMK WELL WHEN YOUR ASS TRUMPET STARTS PLAYING PHANTOM OF THE OPERA YOURE GONNA BE WRONG AF -e.o.







You were successful in stealing $51,620.00 from Victor Lockheed.

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Last five threads posted in:
ForumSubjectLast Post
Realm2017 Summer Bloodies
Created by Cersei Lannister
05/03/17
NeighborhoodThe Facility
Created by Zeddicus Zorander
04/19/17
NeighborhoodDungeon Breaks
Created by River Song
04/19/17
RealmNobody Said It Would Be Easy..
Created by Jameson Orlav
04/18/17
The Black Rose~The Devil's Edge - VIP Lounge - The Black Masquerade~
Created by River Song
11/01/16
Elouise Orlav 05/25/17 Jameson
I'm gonna go visit Trista.
I'll bring Winter.
I'll be back in a week or two?
Jason Reindhart 05/21/17 Lover
Did I ever tell you I was originally created as an experiment to destroy cancer?
And life threatening viruses.
You see, my cells react to any anomaly that would pose a threat to one's health by multiplying faster than the anomaly can reproduce and effectively attack the problem.
And if they become compromised by said anomaly, they self destruct and are replaced. Any excess cells are then expelled via my body super heating. That is why when I shift, I create steam and heat. My old cells are destroyed while new ones are quickly produces for my new, larger body. Same for when I transform back.
I'm sure if any scientist could study these cells they could find a cure for most, if not all, ailments.
Random fact of the day, ya know.
Elouise Orlav 05/21/17 Nestled against her husband, El follows his words, all the while calmed by the gentle beating of his heart. She tightens her grip momentarily, a soft grunt of frustration giving way as Rambo prevents her from being held any closer. "I'll keep an eye out for him. He's...not well, is he?"

While she could not confess to having ever suffered withdrawal in the last few years, it hadn't meant that the characteristics he exhibited weren't familiar to her. "This time, you don't need to carry it all, Jameson. I want to help, if I can. I think you know how familiar I am with what he's going through."
Noura Orlav 05/21/17 Jameson
How is he?
Elouise Orlav 05/19/17 Elouise enters their suite quietly, padding in with an unusually silent manner, given that she was usually a whirlwind. Something in her encounter with Oliver had sobered her, and as her husband came into view, she simply walks over, caressing his face between manicured hands.

Pressing a kiss to his forehead, she climbs into his lap, head resting against his chest thereafter. "You're a good man, Jameson Orlav." Her arms slip under his, wrapping themselves around his torso and anchoring herself to him. "Oliver is...your Ollie?" She peers up at him, remaining open and perceptive to any changes in his expression. And of course, prepared for the fact that he may not wish to discuss it.
Elouise Orlav 05/19/17 Husband
That's usually the part where you offer to snuggle with me, rather than preemptively accuse me of being a terror.
I'm just showing him where his room is. But I expect a better explanation of his situation when I'm done. ...and a hug, please.
Elouise Orlav 05/19/17 Jim-Jam
Scrambled eggs sound good.
Over-easy is overrrated.
Who is Oliver? Will HE snuggle with me?
I'm gonna go find out. Since my husband sucks.
Elouise Orlav 05/19/17 Jameson
But I'm bored, babe.
Can't he just be cooked enough already?
Like a rotisserie chicken??
Oliver Price 05/19/17 There isn't much of a reaction from Oliver, but instead he stares forward as he is pulled into the heartfelt hug. He knows that this is just the beginning, and more pain would come. But he also knows that Jim will take care of him. He always has.

"Okay..okay..okay," he utters repeatedly, each word accentuated with an enthusiastic nod. It's not a rushed sort of reaction, because despite the quiver of his voice, his appreciation sounds clearly with each repetition. Jameson means safety. Security. A way to escape remembering that night, and everything that was done to the people he cares about. He'll be safe from that face in his nightmares.

A moment of deceitful clarity grasps at him, and Oliver shifts to find Jameson's hand, looking for the wound that should have killed the man. "Safe... is it safe? Am I safe? Lise went ahead. I didn't hear."
Oliver Price 05/19/17 There's a nervous way about him. There has been since that night. His shoulders curl inward, defensive, chin tucked slightly down. Oliver's eyes glance around before flicking up to Jamesons' face just for a moment. Then, to the floor once more.

"J-Jim. I uh... I..."

Frustration. So much of it. His face screws up in concentration as beads of sweat break across his forehead. There's a clammy look to him, and it is obvious what his issue is: Withdrawal. Shaking fingers curl into fists at his sides, before one rises to press against his forehead. "Help."
Elouise Orlav 05/19/17 Jameson
I'm in labor.
Elouise Orlav 05/10/17 Jameson
So you haven't slept with her?
Noura Orlav 05/09/17 Jameson
[Message Forward]
From: Drug Raccoon
I'm a feminist now.
My body, my choose. I don't want Rambo anymore.
HE'S A F*CKING MONSTER.
Elouise Orlav 05/09/17 [SMS FWD]
Elouise
Wrong number, but all my examines with James are transparent. ;)
Omfg he has the best touch.
Elouise
omfg Noura I accidentally texted the diseased heifer.

Jameson
I can only imagine this behavior continues because you enable her.
This is exactly what I love to read after a long day of carrying your child, 'James'. Thanks. Keep your wh*re away from me.
Elouise Orlav 05/07/17 Prince Quinoa
Remember when you picked pulp out of my nose?
And spaghetti bombed my room?
And our matching onesie parties?
...you were such a little sh*t, ohemgee.
Elouise Orlav 05/05/17 Jameson
Literally just saw Rambo's foot against my abdomen.
I'm not freaking out...BUT I'M F*CKING FREAKING OUT.
IS HE TRYING TO ALIEN OUT OF ME???
Soleil Whitaker 05/05/17 Jameson Orlav
Sorry not sorry, boss.
[IMG Attached]
SW&RM
Ella Donovan 05/04/17 James
...Magic..al contacts?
Ella Donovan 05/04/17 James
Do you need your glasses back?
Summer S Summers 05/03/17
Lucius Dalca 05/03/17 -Looks at the flyer-
Ehhhh
Best Suit? Debatable.
Sexiest Man? I don't really judge males.
Most Original Name? Maybe.
Best Background? Pfft no..
Best Slayer? I might give you that..
Maya J Lawson 05/03/17 Sure you got my attention, but now you have the hard task of convincing me that you are any of those things.



Elouise Orlav 05/03/17 -stumbles into office-
-soooo out of breath-
Have to say, the best thing about dating you is the booty calls.
What are we talking, here? Cedar? Oak? Mahogany?
Noura Orlav 05/03/17 Jameson
A Czech Trojan Horse?
Maya J Lawson 05/03/17 Well someone is a little overzealous.
Elouise Orlav 05/03/17 Sexiest Man
Let's make a baby.
...or practice for number 2.
Noura Orlav 05/03/17 Jameson
I'm so glad I brought my laptop. jfc.
Autumn Summers 05/03/17 *squeezes, testing*
Not bad... Lucius is better.
Ella Donovan 05/03/17 ~*~ Ella rolled on the office chair towards the computer. Placing a hand on each side of the monitor to shake it gently. All the while whispering a plea to the electronic device. Then she simply gave up and sighed, thumbing a quick text to the one and only James.~*~
''Please, come back. Send failure..''

James
Hypothetically. If I send out a mass mail. How do I get it back?
Autumn Summers 05/03/17 Such modesty.
Noura Orlav 05/03/17 Jameson
[Forwarded Message]
From: Drug Raccoon
I'm going to kill myself.
Remi Rose 05/03/17
Elouise Orlav 05/02/17 Jameson
If you spend a SECOND of unsupervised time alone with Ella I'm texting Cole my current location.
Just an FYI.
Autumn Summers 05/02/17
Autumn Summers 05/02/17
Noura Orlav 05/02/17 Jameson
I'll let you know when the update is ready to push through.
Winter Summers 05/02/17 Brotatochip
Maybe that's why she wants me to take you on a bro date!
Trust me it will be fun!
I will even dial it back for you, we wont do anything that will get us in jail, shortens the list of activities but it will be fine!
Unless I really can't convince you to leave your office then I guess I can work out a date that way.
Also I'll be bring tequila I deserve better than beer.
Elouise Orlav 05/02/17 Wh*re
That doesn't answer 90% of my text, though. How many women HAVE you been with? Am I even significant?!
And just because it's Czech doesn't mean it's a compliment you POS.

Wh*re
How much longer do I have to be outraged before you bring me chocolate and snuggle to apologize?
Elouise Orlav 05/01/17 Wh*re
Noura said you were louder with your Polish girlfriends.
Is that true?
I thought you were a virgin when we met!

Wh*re
Oh my god.
WERE YOU SLEEPING WITH OTHER WOMEN BETWEEN WHEN WE MET AND WHEN YOU KISSED ME???
Noura Orlav 05/01/17 Jameson
Every day, I take a walk at 9pm around the Khimki area, get out all that pent up energy... sure wish I had some company.
Winter Summers 05/01/17 Broteinshake
Our adorable wife has told me to take you on a bro date.
This will be happening, you can not get out of it.
I am a very persistent man and tend to get what I want.
So I'm free anytime so you just let me know.
Autumn Summers 05/01/17 Jameson
That bit of business I mentioned me and Lucius had? We're off to tend to it now. Shouldn't take long, I hope. Wish us luck.
Elouise Orlav 05/01/17 Jameson
What are you wearing?
Noura Orlav 05/01/17 Jameson
Please be careful. I hear they bite. Still mad at you, though.
Hear anything?
Noura Orlav 05/01/17 Jameson
Did Jason talk to you about that rat problem?
Lucius Dalca 04/29/17 Text: The Buyer
Yes we are staying here for a bit until things get more under control but we might have to go earlier depending on the situation with Autumn's dead brother. That aside, now you are speaking my language. What kind of hardware are you looking for? With security its all on what you pay for.. I can do everything from full 360 perimeter surveillance to upgraded cyber security, biometrics, reinforced entry passage ways etc etc.

Text: The Buyer
That all depends on what it is. Hit me with it.
Autumn Summers 04/29/17 Jameson
I suggest cutting off her hair, then.
Elouise Orlav 04/29/17 "I didn't expect our life to be anything." She replies, head still turned. Despite that, her fingers close around his, solidifying the non-verbal, unifying action. "But I take you at your word, always." Her thumb traces over his knuckles, hoping the insignificant, yet warming gesture calms him to any degree. "I never interpret anything the right way, the first time. God, Jameson, I threw my ring at you the morning after we got married." She can't help but let out a croaked laugh at the thought, knowing how foolish she had been, and how she'd had to beg for it back, kneeling in trash in a wrecked hotel room.

That night was the beginning of everything leading up to this point. She would follow him to the ends of the earth, and she had. She would wash away the droplets of blood that speckled his face when he'd pushed himself past exhaustion while working. She would hold him, through his own uncertain moments. Now, they shared a unified uncertainty at the fate of Noura and Cole.

"I wish that I could be useful to you.." Finally, she is able to look at him, her free hand (albeit painful to reach) traces against the stubble of his cheek, fingers tucking themselves into raven colored tresses. Her tone of voice is still sullen, her exhaustion not lost on any part of her. "And maybe, if I were any less selfish, I would have walked away. Your work is more important...and things might be different if I hadn't interfered with your timeline. Don't -" She pauses long enough to give him a stern gaze, assuming he is prepared to disrupt her line of thought.

"But I found myself realizing how much I believe in you, however trivial that sounds...I don't care. So whatever happens, with Noura, with Cole...You will always have me, Jameson. I know I haven't made my trust easy to earn, but God, you have all of it. I mean that."
Jason Reindhart 04/29/17 Subtlety. The man could be watching Jameson's phone as they spoke...he needed to be subtle.

Lover
Actually, could you come to my room?
Jaegar hasn't been feeling well.
I think he got a sick bug from somewhere in the compound.
Maybe one of those rats got out in your lab?
I know some of them tend to carry sicknesses.
Maybe you can help me figure out what's wrong with him?
Elouise Orlav 04/29/17 There is a measure of discomfort that comes as Jameson sits beside her, his tempered composure a thinly layered veil, from which she could look in and seek the anger prepared to tear through. And for once, Elouise didn't feel the need to provoke him. Instead, her mind wanders to her husband's work. It is often hard to forget, watching him work, that he is a healer. What, with his lab being the way it is, which his 'patients' being kept as they were, the blonde often struggled to find the humanity in it all. Not just in that, but in his husband.

It was not long after their wedding day that she had been introduced to the true nature of his work, and while Elouise would do anything to assist him in reaching his goals, lately, she was beginning to question the validity of his project. Not of his aims, but rather, his means. His travels had left her feeling a distance she was unable to articulate. Her understanding of him, of his past, it was all becoming less certain in her eyes.

Especially when a best friend who was supposed to be dead showed up long enough to put a bullet in her.

Now, she has her anger.

She opens her mouth to speak, ready to fire back, and certainly he could see it in her expression. Yet, she immediately backs off, not a sound poking out. Cerulean eyes shut, recognizing the pain her own past had put him through. It is impossible to put a lid on, for either of them. Calvin, Trista, he had dealt with her black marks, and adhered to her wishes even when he wanted to take action on his own.

He should have been able to anticipate a reciprocation of respect, yet, Elouise had once again gone out on her own, as she always does. The blonde had always been self-destructive, but with a husband and a son on-the-way, she was only just starting to realize she could not be so ignorant to all possible outcomes.

"Okay." She whispers, tone just on the edge of all the emotions swelling in her chest. Jaw clenched to contain herself, she turns her head away from him, eyes shutting once more.

"When does it end, Jameson?" Never. Yet, she poses the question regardless, needing to hear his answer.
Elouise Orlav 04/29/17 It would have been foolish not expect repercussions. Topped off on the painkillers that made sleeping through the night possible, Elouise had made some...not so bright decisions. Had she truly ventured far, though? No. And not without protection. In the light of a new day, however, none of her hazily pieced together reasoning seemed to make sense. What did make sense, however, was that Jameson calling on her 'friends' to serve as benevolent overseers was beginning to make much for sense by the second.

That night, Elouise had pushed her body to the brink of exhaustion, moving and doing exactly what she shouldn't have, yet once she had returned to the suite she shared with this man, it had taken long into the morning to finally sleep. It was hard to sleep, naturally, when the sound of a gunshot that very well could have taken your child's life rings in your ears every time your eyes shut.

She understood his exhaustion, naturally, she now looked into his eyes. She understands his anger, never falling for such sweet-nothings when she knew retribution was at hand. What was he going to do? Lock her up until this was all over with? She wouldn't put it past the Doctor, at this juncture.

Normally, her knees would be pulled to her chest, ready to endure whatever verbal lashing she had warranted. Instead, she stays in her seated in bed, still reclining crookedly against a wall of pillows. Jameson was a perceptive man, adapt at recognizing and mending any pain that Elouise could ever feel. He had endured any number of episodes, but was now too busy to recognize the trauma in her eyes, the healing wound on her shoulder a constant reminder that the family she was struggling to build was still such a fragile thing.

"Talk, then." Her tone is raspy, exhausted, absolutely no fight within it -- which is peculiar, considering his wife is normally willing to be so obstinate.
Autumn Summers 04/29/17 Jameson
Your wife thinks it's a great goddamn idea to go for a walk. At night. Alone. Not five minutes after I left.
If she doesn't get herself killed, I'm going to strangle her.
Ella Donovan 04/28/17 From: Ella Donovan (Ella.donovan@theorder.org)
To: Jameson Orlav (Jameson.orlav@theorder.org)
Fwd: Drinks
Hope you can make it James. 🍹
Ella

Original Message
Email To: Ms. Ella Donovan {ella.donovan@theorder.org}
Subject: Drinks
Body:
I never did catch your number. At any rate, I'm free for drinks this evening if you are. I'll be at Yevgeny's until 11.

Best, Lloyd R. Darrow, Esq.
Jason Reindhart 04/28/17 Jameson
Hey, I have a hypothesis I wish to try.
It involves your cure you're looking for.
There's a high probability it will fail but I might as well try, right?
Elouise Orlav 04/28/17 Jameson
How are you?
Keep me updated. I worry.
...and then I nap. But in-between, there's light panic.
Noura Orlav 04/28/17 Jameson
His only sin is giving a sh*t about me.
You knew I was going to go into that nest. Don't pretend you didn't hear me when I announced it in the lab.
Noura Orlav 04/28/17 Jameson
And I never forgave you for my death. I guess we're f*cking even.
Noura Orlav 04/28/17 Jameson
I'm so glad that all it took was for Cole to turn up for me to get the truth out of you. Thank you for finally telling me how you really feel. What else, Jameson? Just let it out. I can take it. In fact, I would love to finally hear it.
Noura Orlav 04/28/17 Jameson
No. Instead you held Cole accountable. You held everyone but me accountable. Take some goddamn responsibility for your actions, Jameson. I know what I did, and I'm making it up to him. I can't believe I tried to take the blame for you.
Noura Orlav 04/28/17 Jameson
He asked you to find me, and you shot him? You didn't think I'd want to know that? You kept his last moments from me. You act like it's black and white, and it's not. Jameson
He was lucid. Aware. If he were dying, it would have been different and you know it.
Autumn Summers 04/27/17 Jameson
Moral crisis averted. Lucius is going to help me. I swear, I am going to marry that man... as soon as he decides to ask.
Speaking of Lucius, you may want to speak with him. He specializes in anything computers. Programming... surveillance, etc. Feel me?
Also, thank you for your words earlier. They meant more than you know. You and Elouise are true friends.
Jason Reindhart 04/27/17 Lover
I'll be patrolling the compound regularly.
If you see a velociraptor prowling the halls...please don't shoot me.
Bullets still hurt.
Elouise Orlav 04/27/17 Jameson
Did you recruit the entire Summers clan to babysit me?
Cheech, Chong and the cats would have been fine.
I appreciate the thought, babe. I love you.
Winter Summers 04/27/17 Jameson
As you probably aware I am back within your walls.
You should change the locks!
Either way as you know vampires don't require sleep hell I don't even require food so I am the perfect guard for our lovely Elouise.
You are a busy man! You don't have time to make sure no one shoots her again and I have nothing going on like ever so!
You have nothing to fear if need be I will give my life to unsure her safety.
Keep that last bit between us!
Noura Orlav 04/27/17 Jameson
36 hours. I want 36. I'm back, and am about to try to talk to Jason.
Noura Orlav 04/27/17 Jameson
Then stop hunting him and let me talk to him in peace, without being tracked. Why does everyone know I left the property?
Cole Ward 04/27/17 /com reboot 6cnl8.cmd
/open speci6789.cmd

+Crushes prepaid cell with boot after last message+
Iceman
Hope you enjoy the loop & old friends in the laboratory.
Autumn Summers 04/27/17 Jameson
I appreciate your vote of faith, but I am not a good person.
My heart is torn. I know Lucius loves me, and is driven to keep me out of harm's way, but... f*ck. I've never been in this situation before.
Noura Orlav 04/27/17 Jameson
Jameson, you never tried to talk to me about what happened. Cole isn't in my head, he's just reminding me that it was never finished business. What would you have me think of that? Cole would never lie to me, either, so don't try to put this on him.
Cole Ward 04/27/17 scanner activated...
Initiating combat coordinates...
Security breach activated...
Protocol Absolution activated...
Record transmission

"Did you realize those coordinates were your laboratory? Getting rusty Iceman. Come find me. Vypadám známě?"


...End Tramission.
...Protocol Ghost activated.
Noura Orlav 04/27/17 Jameson
You didn't know who I was when you saw me again. You didn't kill me. I don't understand. Why you shot at Cole and not me. You knew what I am, and what he would become.
Autumn Summers 04/27/17 Jameson
You realize, of course, when the final death takes me, Heaven has no place for me. Would you call me evil?


Jameson
No, I'm not okay. Blaize, our eldest brother, was killed recently. We were close. A few days later, my pregnant best friend was shot.
Elouise is safe now... and I may have a way to bring my brother back, but Lucius is... unhappy, to put it lightly.
Autumn Summers 04/27/17 Jameson
And Elouise? If she objected?
...do you believe in Hell?
Autumn Summers 04/27/17 Jameson
Your trust means a great deal.
Elouise is like family to us.
Jameson... what lengths would you go to if you had a chance to save your sibling?
Noura Orlav 04/27/17 Jameson
You went against protocol. You should have killed me on sight. Why didn't you?
Autumn Summers 04/27/17 Jameson
I am.
There are... a few things that need attending to here. Hopefully it won't take long.
Do you have a name and a picture of the one who needs killing? I promise to only mildly maim him and let you handle the rest. I'll try, anyway...
Would you object to Lucius coming along?
Jason Reindhart 04/27/17 Jameson
Need a good nose to track douchelord's scent?
I can do it.
Lemme at him!
Cole Ward 04/27/17 .......Begin Encryption
...Begin Surveillance upload
Iceman
I see you.
Elouise Orlav 04/27/17 A dejected sigh departs her lips as she gives into his hold, a vague cloud of disappointment filling her heart. She had put herself in harms way on her own, and Jameson was accountable for none of what had transpired between she and Cole. How could he have known? He cannot be anticipated to be her constant babysitter.

"You do protect me, Jameson. I slipped up, and I..." The words catch in her throat, unable to finish the thought. The idea she had endangered their child was far too much to bear. "You and this baby, our family, I risked it all because I decided to pursue my curiosity without thought." Following the kiss, Elouise tucks her head under his chin, always relishing in the way they always seemed to fit together like puzzle pieces.

"I'm sorry. I f*cked up, and I endangered our son in the process. I should be the one seeking forgiveness."
Noura Orlav 04/27/17 Jameson
You shot Cole. Why not me?
Noura Orlav 04/27/17 Jameson
Why didn't you shoot me?
Autumn Summers 04/27/17 Jameson
I heard you had someone who needs killing.
Elouise Orlav 04/27/17 -leans against-
I won't, okay? You worry about Cole, not me. I'll be fine. -wraps arm around-
Are you okay?
Elouise Orlav 04/27/17 BaeAF
Bed rest would work if someone's progeny wasn't resting on my bladder. I'll be right back.

-wanders back into suite-
-may also be chewing something-
...I got hungry on my way back.
Cole Ward 04/26/17 Reply: .......Begin Encryption
...Begin Surveillance upload

Some things never change.
Jason Reindhart 04/26/17 Jameson
This Cole guy is dead meat.
I'm going to eat him.
I knew something was going on, I knew it!
Cole Ward 04/26/17 Reply: Begin Encryption
Last I checked Noura didn't put a bullet in me. You did. To quote you, I believe the words were "Zawiodłem cię."
Cole Ward 04/26/17 Reply: Begin Encryption
You sent your prostitutka to take bullet for you. A clip? Well. Sounds like a reunion of Warsaw. I'm only following your protocols, Iceman.
Elouise Orlav 04/26/17 -idly shrugs-
-well, tries-
My body is in total shock, it's fine!
-eyes over-
I'm fine. It's fine. Rambo's probably fine, so it's fine. Right?
-wide eyes-
Rambo is fine?
Elouise Orlav 04/26/17 -shuffles in-
God, voice to text is a b*tch.
-holding towel to her left shoulder-
...so your friend shot me.
Elouise Orlav 04/26/17 Jameson
Are you in your office?
Jason Reindhart 04/26/17 Brother Lover

What's going on? My spidey sense is tingling.
It's more innate intuition but still. You and Noura are hiding something.
Did you guys drink all my beer?
Elouise Orlav 04/26/17 Jameson
Why?
I like your friend.
... except I think he called me a prostitute.
Noura Orlav 04/26/17 -Presses send-
-Glances up-
Taking responsibility is not stupid.
-Turns to computer and starts trying to track him down-
If he answers.
Cole Ward 04/26/17 Reply: Begin Encryption
Same ole Iceman. You send your ..prostitutka to take bullet for you. I know all your fvcking moves.
Noura Orlav 04/26/17 -Phone chimes-
-Looks at-
Jameson. I didn't.
-Looks up-
F*ck.
Noura Orlav 04/26/17 -Sat at desk-
-May be studying dinos-
-Looks at-
-Narrows eyes-
Is Jason a T-Rex?
Cole Ward 04/26/17
Elouise Orlav 04/26/17 Hub4Lyfe
I'm hungry.
I need two thicc sirloins pls.
Cole Ward 04/26/17 Incoming encrypted text
Iceman
Miss me? You did with that bullet.
Elouise Orlav 04/25/17 Hubby
Can I persuade you into a matching onesie?
I think it's a movie marathon day.
Bring popcorn! :)
Elouise Orlav 04/20/17 -cheers-
Best 4/20 ever!
-squints-
...I have to do this again? UGH. FINE. I'm only doing it for the steak.
Soleil Whitaker 04/20/17 Jameson Orlav
Psh, I'd never dream of wasting it.
I was thinking glass first, but right for the mouth sounds better.
Thanks for the tip!
Soleil Whitaker 04/20/17 Jameson Orlav
Congrats on 12, Doc.
In NY, so I'll be sure to pour out some whiskey at a bar tonight in your honor! Cheers.
Elouise Orlav 04/19/17 -fondles new muscles-
I'll be your cross to bear later tonight, y'know, if you're bringing the muscles along.
-over-exaggerated wink and ribbing-
Ella Donovan 04/19/17 ~*You witnessed Jameson Orlav attack Ella Donovan!~*~
Ella Donovan 04/19/17 ~*You witnessed Jameson Orlav attack Eirika Somers!~*~
Ella Donovan 04/19/17 ~*~You witnessed Jameson Orlav attack Lucian Dietrich!~*~
Lloyd R Darrow 04/18/17 JKO
Fair point. If you do ever decide to swing that way, my brother is available. He's better looking than me, anyway. Wouldn't want you to waste all of that effort just to be murdered by Cait.

JKO
I'd bring Cait, but I am only obligated to date my wife on Wednesday's. I will, however, bring those quarterly reports, since I'll know where to find you. 🤓
Lloyd R Darrow 04/18/17 JKO
Oh, thank God. GROUP drinks.
Bring your sister. That will make things less awkward.
I'm not having a three-way with you. That is workplace harassment.
Ella Donovan 04/18/17 -James-
Lloyd so far.
Ella Donovan 04/18/17 -James-
Meet for group drinks?
Elouise Orlav 04/18/17 BAE
The trash was full and you left me to my own devices. It went downhill really quickly.
A divorce??? No b*tch. I poked holes in the condoms SPECIFICALLY to tie you down for life. :)
Elouise Orlav 04/18/17 Hubbiest Hub
Put on your fireman costume and come fix this leaky pipe.
NOT a euphemism. I tried to flush a T-bone steak.
Elouise Orlav 04/17/17 -pads in-
Babe. You ate all of my cookies?!
Are you high?
-checks pupils-
...are you?
-plops down-
-has, 'you like krabby patties, don't you squidward' face-


I knew I loved you for a reason.
Elouise Orlav 04/17/17 Babe AF
Valid point. But I'm not a nudist, and it's cold in here.
Bring kit kats so I something to do while you're doing your thing.
#PillowPrincess2017
Elouise Orlav 04/16/17 Hubbers
Babe. I'm stuck.
I tried to be sexy for Easter, and I think Jesus got mad.
Sidenote, I probably should have checked to see that the Playboy Bunny costume had a maternity option??
Caitlyn Darrow 04/16/17
Noura Orlav 04/14/17 "I'm fairly certain that one look around the immediate area is enough to tell me what it entails."

Insert hissy, spatting angry cat noises here. Noura famously speaks her mind, while also making comment on the past, and she knows it is a sore subject for them both. The last time she'd gone into his lab, all hell broke loose. Honestly, in hindsight, she is surprised he even let her down here.

Gaze lowering, she clears her throat and tries again.

"You know I know better than to think it's easy, Jameson. But I also trust you, and want you to trust me. If you're working on me, you'll make your best judgments. We both know it."
Noura Orlav 04/13/17 Beep. Speak. Jason texts, Jameson speaks, and for a moment - she's flustered. What does she do? Tell Jameson to hold that thought, and answer to Jason? Let Jason worry, as he clearly already is? It's obvious, how torn she is. "F-ck..."

Jason can wait. Just a minute.

Muddy eyes travel back to her brother, and she forces her mind to focus on the task at hand. Noura's hands go up, phone faced with the screen still lit up with the distracting notification. It's like a a white flag being thrown up, a towel being thrown in, a peace pipe prepared.

"...Yes."

Lowering her hands, nerves shaken, she steps up to his desk and takes a seat. His precious baby sister doesn't know what to expect, really. "...Please. I'm sorry. I can't."

Quickly, so quickly, she types her reply to Jason before shoving her phone into her pocket and giving Jameson her full attention once more.
Elouise Orlav 04/13/17 Otto Octavius
Jason and (maybe?) Noura are coming over.
Oh! And this guy says hey.
[IMG]

Love you. :)
Jason Reindhart 04/13/17 Lover
I'll bring all the beer!
And the tequila!
And the rum!
And my sexy body.
Jason Reindhart 04/13/17 Mi Amigo
My brother!
My lover!
My boss man!
You return to us! My life is complete!
Noura Orlav 04/13/17 Open f-cking sesame. Noura is surprised, honestly. She didn't expect him to be so compliant. However, when the door opens, her keen sense of smell picks up the scene below before she can even lay eyes on it. Her nose wrinkles in disgust, hand flying upward to cup her mouth and nose as if to shield it from the stench. But she gets it together before reaching the bottom of the stairs.

Eyes wander, and she takes in the scene before ultimate looking to him.

"Cure me."
Noura Orlav 04/13/17 If he could see her, he'd be greeted with a look of disdain. Is he serious? She cannot understand his inability to open the goddamn door. She bites her tongue, glancing sideways as she gathers herself. Noura just wants in. There would be no way she would ever have this conversation like this.

"Yes. I'm fine. I'm alone. Jameson, open the door. Jesus. It's me."
Noura Orlav 04/13/17 Jameson
...just outside the lab.
Noura Orlav 04/13/17 Sh-thead
No. Seriously. It's serious. Don't be a goddamn shmuck about it. It's related to work. So let me know when you have time.
Noura Orlav 04/13/17 Jameson
Hey. Sh-thead. I really need to f-cking talk to you.
Remi Rose 04/13/17 "Look what I found.."

"I bet they'll share their bikes.. and faith."

Elouise Orlav 04/13/17 -squishes cheeks-
Of course he'll be good looking. Have you seen us?
But he's going to be blonde. I asked like six psychics to double check.
Just so you know, the minute he starts kicking and punching my ribs, you're c-sectioning this mofo.
Elouise Orlav 04/13/17 Flattery will get you everywhere. -pft's-
Behaving? He's a little sh*t. I have to get up every thirty minutes to pee, and I can only eat porterhouse steaks.
Elouise Orlav 04/13/17 Hey, handsome.
-koalas-
Blowing off work just for me? Is it our anniversary already?
Elouise Orlav 04/13/17 Boo
Yeah, I ordered like three. And then I remembered I can't have any.
Rambo is currently stabbing my bladder. I blame you.
Elouise Orlav 04/13/17 Babelicious
Wrap it before you tap it with Ella.
And don't spoon after, or it means something.
Remi Rose 04/13/17 Smirks. "You're so f-cked up."

Remi would laugh at Jameson, smacking his hand away playfully. "Well, you do fill out a suit nicely. I'm sure you can pull off the Mormon look. Now, all we gotta do is find you a bike.."

Remi Rose 04/13/17 Jameson's whole approach made her want to scream out, 'Stranger Danger!', but resisted. Kind of creepy in one of those horror type films. She'd stand still, unsure of what to really do. Remi would hesitate from some sudden urge to grab his face and kiss it.

It wouldn't take much effort once he spoke. It was that typical cheating male response. 'She has nothing on you. You're the one I truly care for.' Just before he goes to stick his salami in the one that doesn't even compare. There was a reason Jameson was a leader and had those to follow, he had a way about him. A calming sense, even if sometimes he drew hostility from some.

"You'd make the best salesman, ever."

Just sees the doctor peddling meds like a f-cking pro in the years to come. He has a way of creating addiction..

Soleil Whitaker 04/13/17 Jameson Orlav
Her name's Rhiannon. Lesbians don't get pregnant.... by mistake, anyways.
Soleil Whitaker 04/13/17 Jameson Orlav
Told you I wasn't in love with your wife. I'm in love with mine.
Remi Rose 04/13/17 -eyes him-
"I see how it is.."
"You come back all like, 'where's the bacon?', but you really came back to replace me, huh?!"
-stroking large red curls-
"There can only be one redhead."
Winter Summers 04/13/17 Bossman
Alright I am outside!
I have five tacos, and jar of pickles!
Because I'm a good friend I brought more than you asked.
That and Elouise is like a blood hound when it come to food!
You'd never get anything if I brought just one!
Anyway I'll do a trade for my undies!
Ella Donovan 04/13/17 That sounded nefarious.
Ella Donovan 04/13/17 Oh my god. I thought you were dead.

Elouise Orlav 04/12/17 -wanders into Jameson's office-
...Soleil? Where's Fish?
-squints-
Mother f*cker. I've been hoodwinked.
Soleil Whitaker 04/12/17 Jameson Orlav
Sending Elouise your way, if you're in your office.
Nathan Krieger 04/12/17 Uh?
I don't know. A month ago?
I lost track.
And, no. I was unaware there was bacon on the premises.
Elouise Orlav 04/12/17 Soleil
I miss you too!
[Location Sent]
Winter Summers 04/12/17 Bossman
This is why I married your wife and not you!
Well I mean it was bound to happen at some point!
You getting fat too?
You would not look good fat!
Elouise would say you do but I'm a true friend and telling you the truth!
Just like a true friend would send another friends silky briefs home!
Now I gotta book a flight to come back to Moscow!
Wait! Wait! Are you making me come and get them myself because you wanna see my face!?
Oh how sweet! All is forgiven good sir!
Winter Summers 04/12/17 Bossman
Hey buddy! Pal! Friend!
I moved out, back in London
Don't ask why!
You REALLY don't want the answers!
Anyway!
I LEFT MY SILKY BRIEFS!!!
SEND THEM TO ME!!!
ASAP I NEED THEM!!!
Elouise said you would so do it!
Please and thank you!
Elouise Orlav 04/12/17 The Call Is Coming From Inside the House...
I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW! I ONLY CHECK THE SECURITY CAMS TO SEE IF YOU'RE NAKED.

Oh, wait. It was probably Jason! There's back-up cheese and bacon in my secret mini-fridge in the closet.

Jameson
...don't eat all of my secret bacon, mf.
Elouise Orlav 04/12/17 Jameson
Yeah. I'm totally bagging Autumn. You caught me!
Do you want me to come home? I'm pretty much done here. I just need to leave flaming dog sh*t on Nigel's porch.
Uh. You mean the Kraft singles? They're in the lunch meat drawer behind the bacon.
Elouise Orlav 04/12/17 Jim-Jam
Okay, I get it. I haven't been home.
You were invited to London, b*tch.
Do you know how pregnant I look??
HELLA.
Elouise Orlav 04/12/17 Jameson
:) Don't worry about it.
Now dance, mf. Dance!
PS, Autumn gave me champagne. She's not a responsible pregnant-caregiver!
Remi Rose 04/12/17 -blinks-
"That was a weird one.."
-takes evidence-
-skips off-
"They'll never believe me!"
"Jameson lives!"
Elouise Orlav 04/12/17 Jameson
Mf, I see you.
This home surveillance app is GREAT.
Take your shirt off.
Remi Rose 04/12/17 -snaps photos paparazzi style-
Autumn Summers 04/03/17 MIA
Elouise is coming to visit us next week. You're welcome too, of course. I hope you make it.
Elouise Orlav 04/03/17 Jameson
Autumn is bullying me.
I'm sexy enough, right?
Oh my god. I'm not sexy enough.
Elouise Orlav 04/01/17 Jameson
The baby isn't yours! April Fool's!
In hindsight, maybe not the best way to prank you...
Noura Orlav 03/30/17 Jamesy
So, can I like... shoot at her with a paintball gun? Is that a good enough prank? Because it's only fair.
Elouise Orlav 03/30/17 Husband
Prank War?
That's f*cking RUDE.
I'm going to body slam you with my stomach.
Noura Orlav 03/15/17 Jameson
Where are you, currently?
Elouise Orlav 03/14/17 Jameson
Let's switch things up.
Wanna get a divorce?
I can shoot you again. Or you could shoot me!
But like, in the foot, or something.
Elouise Orlav 03/09/17 Hubble Telescope
Italy 🇮🇹 Updates:
I've eaten my weight in 🧀, some guy offered me his 🥖, and I ❤️ you.
Also, I got arrested in Vatican City, but 🍂 bailed me out. Now we're ⛵️ the coast. I miss you!
Autumn Summers 03/06/17 Jameson
Been a while, stranger. How are things?
Elouise Orlav 03/02/17
I'm European now. I bet you didn't even recognize me.
Elouise Orlav 02/26/17 With Jameson out of town for the past few days, Elouise had kept herself more than busy planning their 'wedding'. However, it was very unlike the blonde to go out of her way to seek any type of responsibility. She is literally the laziest person alive, and her husband knows this. While it might have simply been an excuse to pin him down for even a few hours in his busy schedule, the Doctor's wife was also growing restless of the same thing day-in and day-out. As such, she leaves the following note on his desk:

Jameson,

I don't need the wedding, but I would like the honeymoon. The bags are packed for Rome if you want to go. Run away with me?

I love you.
-Elouise
Elouise Orlav 02/21/17 PB+Jim-Jam
1) Do we need dance classes?
2) Do I need to get your tux let out for all of your sympathy weight?
3) I booked a Rabbi. Shabbat Shalom, b*tch.
Elouise Orlav 02/19/17 -drops gun, saves sausage-
-...eats it too-
Touché, Dr. Orlav, you win this battle.
-climbs into lap, starts stealing food-
Your tiny SS Soldier only wants meat and potatoes. And, strangely, whiskey, but he's not getting that. I can't even eat my Lucky Charms in the morning. Do you understand what this is doing to me??
Elouise Orlav 02/19/17 🦆👨🏻‍⚕️
I DO WHAT I WANT.

-kicks down office door-
-shoots nerf gun at-
Elouise Orlav 02/19/17 Dr. Thirst Trap
STOP replacing my prenatal vitamins with strip steaks.
This baby is going to Hulk smash it's way out of my womb at this rate.
Elouise Orlav 02/17/17 Le Babe
Omfg. ❄️ is walking me down the aisle!
I consider your sister to be a kept ape, can she do it? 🦍
Elouise Orlav 02/17/17 Babesauce
Good news, the venue is letting me have a bouncy house. Bad news, no one will rent me a monkey to carry the rings. 🐒😔
Soleil Whitaker 02/16/17 Jameson Orlav
Ahem, ahem. I'm not in love with your wife.
Elouise Orlav 02/16/17 -gasps-
I'm not a baboon!
-pouts-
Why not Nigel? No grandparents?
... So I shouldn't even ask about Trista, then?
Elouise Orlav 02/16/17 Oh my god. If you think I'm giving birth to a ten pound baby, you have brain damage.
-scowls-
You're lucky I'm even letting you in the room, let alone deliver it. Which, by the way, still freaks me out. It's going to be like the worst episode of CSI meets the worst episode of Criminal Minds and they had a baby with all of Dexter.
-pauses-
... Noura's not going to be there too, is she? Can I invite Nigel?
Elouise Orlav 02/16/17 Prove it. I want to see a marriage license.
...fair point, though. But people can't even tell yet.
Will you still love me when I'm fat?
Elouise Orlav 02/16/17 I'm not neglected. You're busy doing sexy doctor stuff.
...and I'm down for that.
-shifty eyes-
Wait, are we not allowed to sleep together until the wedding??
The website I went on said no pre-marital sex.
Autumn Summers 02/16/17 Jameson
Fair enough.
I had an amazing time. Constanța is beautiful. I don't want to leave.
Elouise Orlav 02/16/17 ... Babe.
-climbs into lap-
-pushes food aside-
I wouldn't do that to you. I've never even thought about it. Do you know how happy you make me? You're it. I don't have a single doubt. Not one.
-slips arms around-
Jameson, you're my husband. Center of my universe, sun to my sky, whatever other tacky Hallmark moment. But, seriously. I love you, okay? You don't ever need to question that.
Autumn Summers 02/16/17 *squints*

Jameson
Huh... alrighty. You can't see it but I'm squinting at my phone. "I'm glad I could accommodate" isn't an encouraging answer. Did you have a good time?
Elouise Orlav 02/16/17 -furrows brow-
But I'm not.
...and I'm married.
-pokes-
You know I wouldn't do anything anyway, right? With anyone? Especially not...
I'm not gay!
Elouise Orlav 02/16/17 -appears out of nowhere-
-waves greasy paper bag in front of-
I'm a good wife. I made breakfast! Well. I bought it.
-squints at-
Is there something you want to talk about? ... something Soleil-related?
Lloyd R Darrow 02/15/17 To: Doctor Orlav
Subject: Stalking


Caitlyn and I weren't married yet, alright?
Every gent is allowed to sow a few wild oats...
Claire Cross 02/15/17 -chases Karen down hallway-

-stumbles, calls after-
Karen! Pop Tarts aren't on your diet!
Autumn Summers 02/15/17 Jameson
Here's hoping your silence is a good thing...
I've been tasked with asking you if Elouise's parents should be invited to the ceremony being planned. So, this is me asking.
Elouise Orlav 02/15/17 Hubzilla
I have independent means! I can take care of this. The details won't be a surprise if you see every credit card charge.
And it's not going to be big and fancy. I just want pictures to show baby Rambo. Our *actual* wedding pictures aren't really 'PG'.
Elouise Orlav 02/15/17 Hubster
I mean like, tuxedo, white dress, church-level marriage.
I never got one of those. I kind of want one. With you, though. If you want. Autumn said people do it!
Elouise Orlav 02/15/17 Jameson
Will you marry me??
Remi Rose 02/15/17 He had better have remembered her..
Autumn Summers 02/15/17 Jameson
Sooo... How'd it go? Did she like it? Did you have a good time?
Elouise Orlav 02/15/17 Leggier? Blonder?! You son of a--
-screechs, flails-
-somehow wheezes and cackles all at the same time-
I yield! I WILL pee on you, Jameson!
Elouise Orlav 02/15/17 -combs through hair-
Of course you could, babe. You're lethal.
-lowers voice-
But maybe not literally you. Because I can't deal with a daughter-in-law like me. But Potato will probably be smarter.
Elouise Orlav 02/15/17 -gags-
Melinda May may be a bad ass, but she always looks constipated.
I want a Grant Ward. Minus being a Nazi.
Elouise Orlav 02/15/17 -groans-
I already eat like four steaks a day. What else do you want from me?
You replaced all of my chocolate milk with protein shakes.
-squints at-
You're saying I should eat more potatoes? Idaho is going to be desolate by the time this baby is born. Can his middle name be Potato?
Elouise Orlav 02/15/17 -mopes into office-
-climbs all over-
Why did you let me eat so much last night? I'm getting fat.
Camille Rameau 02/14/17 To: orlavj@theorder.org
From: C. Rameau
Subject: Re: Marriage

What's wrong? Its not like you to be talking like this. Have you tried discussing it with Elouise? Regardless, you know that we are always happy to host you in Bloemfontein. But. You can't just run away from your problems.

Say the word and I'll have a suite prepared for you in the guest house.
Soleil Whitaker 02/14/17 Roses are red,
Violets are blue
Kinda looks like she's picking
Me over you.
😘
Remi Rose 02/14/17 Watched as a familiar man approached; Jameson. Did he not recognize her? It was just the a week or so ago they had spoken.. Must have a forgettable face! That's it. She'd nod. Then he went on about Elouise. She's pregnant?! She never said anything! Just thought it was a permanent cereal stomach. Had goals to excel to that level. Maybe she really wasn't a foodie. Had she lied about her love of food? Was it just a ten month fake? Tried not to whimper..

"Thank you."

Elouise Orlav 02/14/17 Jim-Jam
You're the best. Thanks for the note. And the real-people clothes. Did you get my present?
The dogs ate the second half of your present. Side-note, I shaved my legs. That's true love, baby.
Autumn Summers 02/14/17 Jameson
She'll be with you. How could she not? She gushes about you to me on a regular basis.
I would certainly enjoy what you've got planned! Has to count for something.
Autumn Summers 02/14/17 Jameson
Oddly, that does make me feel better.
What have you planned with Elouise for today? I won't tell, promise.
Autumn Summers 02/14/17 Jameson
Defending my honor now? I'm touched. Must've been the knock knock jokes...
Thank you, in all seriousness. He's an old friend, who is suddenly more than a friend. Is that common?
Autumn Summers 02/14/17 Jameson
Aren't you bloody cute?
He chose me, believe it or not. I'm mildly shocked Elouise hadn't blabbed to you yet. Lucius Dalca, you're familiar with him, asked me.
Autumn Summers 02/14/17 Jameson
Happy Valentine's Day, stranger.
Elouise Orlav 02/14/17 Jameson
There's a 25 year old bottle of Macallan in your office.
Happy Valentine's Day, babe. I love you best.
Ella Donovan 02/14/17 ~*Ella didn't think twice once she zoomed in on the mugs. Jameson was if anything her only friend. The gargantuan crush she had on him was irrelevant. She purchased the two mugs, and set off to locate her only ally. There were rumors where to find him. Of course a man like Jameson had followers. Threading through the tidbits of information she became more certain where he would be.

With the purchased mugs and a bottle of Jameson in a bag, she started her journey to a compound within Moscow. Once there, she contemplated just handing the bag to whomever answered, but instead her word Diarrhea got her being escorted into his office for security measures. There she sat chewing on the insides of her cheek, and flickering her bright optics against the details or lack of.*~

''Really. I just wanted to give him this bag. If you could--ok, ok. I will just stay here in this empty office. I have no other place to be at all.''
Elouise Orlav 02/12/17 Baby Daddy
If you were a file type, you'd be a .zip, because I'm about to unzip those pants 😉

Is that how you flirt?? What are we doing for Valentine's Day?
Elouise Orlav 02/12/17 Babesauce
Autumn and Winter are trying to get me to bring sexy back.
Do I need to bring sexy back? Are they right??
Elouise Orlav 02/11/17 -tries to grab list-
They better not suck!
I want to name him Ishmael.
...or Schmuel.
Elouise Orlav 02/06/17 Last night had been a mess. Super Bowl Sunday usually was. And Elouise was still recovering from the extreme amount of chips and dip she had consumed. That, and cleaning up after the dogs. She hasn't been kidding about that. So when Jameson comes in, Elouise crawls out of his closet, Clorox in hand.

"Hey, babe." She clears her throat, passing by to return the bleach to its rightful place. "Claire really needs to house train those behemoths." Hands free, she turns back to face him, brow furrowed. "Did you need something?"
Elouise Orlav 02/06/17 Jameson
Joking? Why would I be joking?
She's certainly after you. So just do what you want.
Also, Cheech and Chong sh*t in your closet.
Noura Orlav 02/05/17 Jamesy
YOUR F-CKING WIFE JUST SENT ME A PICTURE OF A DEAD KAREN.
Elouise Orlav 02/05/17 Jameson
The tabloids haven't been wrong so far.
Go ahead and sleep with her, if that's what you want.
I just don't want to know about it.
Elouise Orlav 02/04/17 Jameson
Wonderful.
So that's why you've been so busy?
Keep it classy, Mr. Orlav.
Winter Summers 02/03/17 Bossman!
Going back to London for a few days! Don't rent out my room!
Thanks means a lot to me!
Also snuggle Elouise in my stead pretty please!
Alright good chat you stay handsome!
As if it was possible for you to become ugly am I right!?
Elouise Orlav 02/03/17 Jameson
Babe. Babe. I need to go.
...do you want to come?
I'm willing to exchange sexual favors for my staying. Except by sexual favors I mean food.
Soleil Whitaker 02/03/17 Jameson Orlav
This is Soleil, the new girl. Your wife Elouise told me to tell you that we're going to Vegas to see Boyz II Men perform. Tonight. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. This may or may not have been my idea. I'm an enabler.
Elouise Orlav 02/03/17 -huffs-
Yes, I'm sure. Doctors don't lie.
-squints-
Unless... Are you a liar?!
-accusatory stare-
And apparently, you can't test for whether or not your son is going to be a serial killer.
-gasps-
Wait. Sh*t.
Elouise Orlav 02/03/17 -wraps arms around neck-
It was worth the peace of mind. Right? I thought so. And the needle wasn't that big.
-bites bottom lip-
And then they asked if I wanted to know the sex, because they could test for that too. So I confidently said, 'I know sex. I'm pregnant!'. Not what they meant. But they did laugh. So, I know. Y'know. What it is.
Elouise Orlav 02/03/17 -curls up in lap-
I got one too many man-butts to the face, so I gave her my cash and left. I'm sure she's fine.
-clears throat-
Anyway... Did you know they have a test that checks for Down Syndrome? Well. I did that.
-mumbles-
I had noooo idea what the risks were. Anyway! Guess what else they told me?
Elouise Orlav 02/03/17 -pokes head in office-
I still want the tacos.
-purses lips-
She may be locked inside the strip club. I don't really remember what happened last night.
-clears throat-
So? Do you want to hear my news?
-big ole stupid grin-
Elouise Orlav 02/03/17 Husband
I have news.
Like, worth talking to me news.
Maybe even worth bringing tacos?
Elouise Orlav 02/02/17 Jameson
I'm glad to know where I stand with you.
Ella Donovan 02/02/17

~+ Ella's shoulders straightened & locked into place on the defense. If Moscow had Jameson, of course she would stick around. The length of her smile shifted smaller to form a smirk. +~

''I will be staying until I save up the money to go home. Or you happen to get thirsty another time. ''

~+ A passive shrug given to the man before her. He struck her eye this is true, but that was only the first step to her newly solo mission. +~
Elouise Orlav 02/02/17 Jameson
I don't see how you have room to negotiate, here.
You forgot my birthday. My birthday.
I have very low expectations as it is, but I had anticipated that perhaps you might be different from everyone else.
So, yes, I'm validly pissed off. But take your time. I'm not going anywhere.
Elouise Orlav 02/02/17 Jameson
Don't blow me off, again.
I don't know what I did to earn this blatant disinterest, but I'm over it.
I'm not your babysitter, so when I have to go out of my damn way to get you to f*cking talk to me, I'll admit I'm a bit annoyed.
I'm serious, Jameson. So don't try and minimize my feelings.
Elouise Orlav 02/02/17 Jameson
Does it matter? Hurry up.
I'm not down for the waiting game.
Elouise Orlav 02/02/17 Jameson
We need to talk. Face to face.
Man up and show up, Jameson.
Ella Donovan 02/02/17

~+ Mouth slightly agape as she connected her light optics on his face. The heat rose to her cheeks staining them rose against her fair skin. Ella's wide grin remained in place, and she extended her hand to him. If able she pulled him closer to her with the shake. In the caverns of her mind she worshiped him through her vivid daydreams. +~

'' Jameson. A fitting name. Were you named after the whiskey? I'm Ella. Ella Donovan. Pleasure to meet you. Want to get a drink? ''

~+ Unable to pry her hand away just yet. Blinking her orbs she continued to check him out. The longest handshake lingered. Shameless. Ella Donovan was shameless.+~
Remi Rose 02/02/17 "I promise.. I won't think any less."

Thumbs up.

Remi Rose 02/02/17 "...so, I got it. You're name isn't Google."

Remi Rose 02/02/17

-puppy dog eyes him-

Remi Rose 02/02/17

"...maybe.."

Noura Orlav 02/02/17 Jamesy
Good news! I got us a hotel in Budapest! Reviews say there are minimal ****roaches!
Ella Donovan 02/02/17

~+Ella turned towards the voice and grinned widely to the kind man. Pearly whites exposed. Ella was a curious sport and she just had to know who the man was.+~

''Hello there handsome. Thank you for the welcome. What's your name?''

Remi Rose 02/02/17 "uh.. Well, that blows raspberries. Half the best part of moving to a new place is finding the best places to chow down."

With the suggestion of cooking herself, she about died right there.

"On that note.. I think I'll call Domino's."

Remi Rose 02/02/17 "Thank you."

Smiled.

"Any good place to eat around here?"

Soleil Whitaker 02/02/17 -pouts-
But, being wine drunk is amazing. And you don't feel like absolute sh*t the next morning. But, if you insist on something harder, vodka. No chaser.
-clears throat-
She was having a Middlebrooks moment, and said I reminded her of Mary J. Blige?
Elouise Orlav 02/02/17 Jameson
Have fun.
I love you.
Elouise Orlav 02/02/17 Jameson
I burned the clothes you were wearing last night.
You smelled like hobo piss in a dumpster. FYI.
Soleil Whitaker 02/02/17 Just call me Zooey Deschanel.
-gives a two fingered salute-
Starting off with the tough questions, huh?
-taps chin-
Contrary to popular belief, I'm actually more of a wine person. Moscato, Pinot. I'm not quite sure where the pina colada thing came from.
-whispers-
But, if we're talking poison poison, I'd have to go with arsenic. Apple seeds, you know?
Elouise Orlav 02/01/17 Jameson
I also need ice cream.
And I can't find my elastic-band jeans.
Can you find my fluffy blanket too? I don't know where I left it.
Noura Orlav 02/01/17 THAT WAS MY LINT NEST!
-Stares at shattered bottle-
-Actually,is really looking for all the tiny pieces of glass-
-Plucks one from her hair-
-Dances her way over to Jameson - the lawnmower-
Wheeeeere we going?
Elouise Orlav 02/01/17 Jameson
Sir, yes, sir!
Elouise Orlav 02/01/17 Jameson
What would you like to discuss?
I'm still here. You know where to find me.
Noura Orlav 02/01/17 Jamesy
You've been replaced as my number one friend by Jason. Obvious reasons. I'm sure you understand. He killed a lint spider for me. It was romantic af. LOVE YOU!
Elouise Orlav 02/01/17 Jameson
Your suits are pressed, the cats are fed, and there are enough microwaveable dinners to last you a century.
I'm leaving Moscow for a little while. I'll be back soon.
Elouise Orlav 01/30/17
Elouise Orlav 01/30/17 Not Husband
You AND Autumn forgot my birthday.
I'm leaving.
Elouise Orlav 01/30/17 -grins-
Aw, so defensive! You're adorable.
...do you want a birthday cupcake?
Elouise Orlav 01/30/17 -squints-
Autumn's rude ass friend.
-finishes sticking candle in cupcake-
And, he said you took one for the team in marrying me!
-licks frosting from thumb-
Camille Rameau 01/30/17 Idiot
I just bought your unborn baby at a remarkable price. Cheers!
Winter Summers 01/30/17 Bossman
I'm totally part of the marriage! I just don't get any physical parts!
Which I am perfectly fine with, also I don't do feet.
At all.
I will however keep cooking and doing her laundry.
You are welcome!
Elouise Orlav 01/29/17 Jameson
Babe. Who's going to give Noura 'The Talk'?
She's definitely a virgin. Look at her face. C'mon.
It's not gonna be me, right? I don't have to do the condom on the banana thingy?
IS JASON A VIRGIN TOO??
Winter Summers 01/29/17 Bossman
Oh I see all makes sense now, surprised she didn't welcome me to the marriage sooner! I'm great totally marriage material!
It's totally not weird! One hundred percent normal!
And you can believe it when I say it cause I've lived with non normal people!
Anywho glad to be part of the marriage!
Do I get perks for being in it?
Elouise Orlav 01/29/17 -tiptoes up behind-
-double wet willies-
Winter Summers 01/29/17 Bossman
Your wife welcomed me to the marriage what does that mean exactly?
She didn't explain!
I'm a little worried
Noura Orlav 01/28/17 JameSI
PUT A F-CKING SMILE ON. YOUR LITTLE SISTER JUST MARRIED YOUR BESTIE, MF. BE HAPPY.
Elouise Orlav 01/28/17 Jim-Jam
Or you could always put on a unicorn onesie.
Can we get dinner? And dessert? And go see a movie?
Or do you already have something planned?!


Jim-Jam
Never mind. Surprise me.
And it better not just be you naked. I get that on regular days.
Elouise Orlav 01/28/17 Jameson
I want a unicorn for my birthday!
Can you make that happen?
Autumn Summers 01/28/17 *skips up*
*midget kicks a shin*
*blows a kiss*
*skips away*
Noura Orlav 01/28/17 Jamesy
Wipe that ugly mug off and f-cking smile, buttercup. Jfc.
Elouise Orlav 01/26/17 Jameson
I'm bored.
Let's do it.
... I mean video games.
Winter Summers 01/24/17 "I just stop breathing really, I mean I'm sure it's not that bad! I'm almost afraid now...we should stop her from eating things that make her fart. I'll leave you in charge of that! I mean you ARE the husband after all! Falls under the husband duties! Everyone knows that!" Looks around before the awkward smile returns.

"I can cook! I mean it may not be anything SUPER fancy but it wont be instant ramen. Not that there is anything wrong with that! I find instant ramen to be fancy food. Anywho! Are you gonna give me money to buy the food or am I on my own with that? If that's the case I retract what I said earlier everyone is eating ramen."
Winter Summers 01/24/17 Winter made a face, second time this has come up. He really should move into a vacant room. "So what you are saying is that it's cool that I move into a vacant room? Thank god! I have read ALL of my romance novels! I started building my fortress of solitude out of you peoples clothing! And Whiskers keeps running away to sleep in Jason's room because he has a bed and he's got a thing for the man's cat! I don't even know man!" Takes a breath.

"Rent money? Oh right I just assumed doing your wife's laundry was my rent...I will totally pay you rent. Not like a lot right? I spend all the money I steal on food or clothing also sometimes things for my cat."
Elouise Orlav 01/24/17 As he lands on the bed, Elouise promptly abandons the chips, crawling all over her super disruptive husband until she’s comfortable. While the beer and weed was absent, this was normal practice for the pair, especially in their formative days in Bloemfontein. In all of her movement, however, a good portion of the chips fall onto the bed. In true fashion, she just goes ahead and eats them anyway.

“…are you going to get rid of Jason? I don’t even remember when he came in here.” She then whispers some sort of incentive into her husband’s ear before going back to watching the movie, casual af.
Winter Summers 01/24/17 Winter turns around and stares at the man. "Excuse me!? EXCUSE ME!? Groping me? For what money? Spoiler alert good sir I have none! You think I like living in your laundry room? I mean sorta I do get some cuddles from your wife but I am getting off topic. If you think I am gonna fold your clothing now you can forget it! I caught you red handed!"

Jameson Orlav just failed at stealing money from you!

"By the way hi I'm Winter Summers, Autumn's older brother she speaks fondly of you, as does your wife. Yes I am constantly at a ten. So nice to finally meet you. I'll be in the laundry room if you EVER need me. Elouise said I can live there." Smiles awkwardly.
Jason Reindhart 01/24/17 -pokes head out of a pile of blankets on Elouise's floor at Jameson's entrance-
"I vote Godfather."
-returns to cocoon of warmth-
-steals a bag of chips from the pile-
Noura Orlav 01/24/17 Jamesy
Your wife's pregnant farts are f-cking horrendous.
Elouise Orlav 01/24/17 Elouise, true to form, was already in bed. As the food is dropped on her, three disgruntled cats jump out of bed, their blanket sanctuary disturbed by the bearded human with food. Peeking an eye open, she grumbles something profane. Once she realizes he’s brought food, however, her mood immediately brightens.

"Movies?” She lets out a tired yawn, already moving to open the bag of chips he had so unceremoniously dumped on her. “Whatever you want. I only require snuggles in return.” Upon stuffing a hand full of chips into her mouth, she munches happily. “Thank God you brought dinner. I thought I was going to die here. I didn’t even leave bed today.”

“…well. I showered and changed my onesie. But that’s it. Am I lazy?”
Elouise Orlav 01/24/17 Babeosaur
BABE. I'm making TONS of new friends.
When is it appropriate to show them my nudes? And yours?
Second date?
Elouise Orlav 01/23/17 Jameson
I'M HAVING OCTUPLETS.
I mean, I have no proof to support this, but I have a feeling.
It's trendy.
Elouise Orlav 01/20/17 Husbandit
Autumn said we should stop having sex.
I have no idea what she's talking about, but I'm a virgin!
Extra virgin, even. Like the olive oil.
Elouise Orlav 01/19/17 Well.
-grabs handful of doritos-
Maybe two. Okay? Two.
Anything beyond that, you've got some 'splainin' to do.
-coils around-
Because only children are weird. I mean, look at me.
Elouise Orlav 01/19/17 -kicks down door-
Why the f*ck not?!
I KNOW HOW TO HAVE FUN. I'll teach it how to roll mommy's joints.
-lowers voice-
We're only having one Satan spawn, right? Autumn is scaring me.
Elouise Orlav 01/19/17 Jameson
I was on a forum for expecting mothers, and when the topic of favorite childhood games came up, I said, naturally, 'fork in the electrical socket' and they banned me for 'trolling'.
First, what is trolling, and second, am I the only one whose parent taught them that game??
Camille Rameau 01/19/17 -narrows eyes-
Elouise Orlav 01/19/17 ...because I love you, you assh*le. Don't you appreciate that I can occasionally be sentimental?!
Autumn Summers 01/19/17 Jameson
Oh, you so funny...
Autumn Summers 01/19/17 Jameson
1) You're a glutton for punishment.
2) Somehow I think you're more likely to tell her than I am. Keeping secrets is my thing.
3) At this rate, I ought to just bloody move to Moscow.
Autumn Summers 01/19/17 Jameson
Joke's on you, Jamieboy. You'll be the one having to deal with a tiny, screaming Satan in less than nine months. Covet your peace.
Autumn Summers 01/19/17 Jameson
Laugh. You laugh. Because you know Elouise is busy harassing me.
Autumn Summers 01/19/17 Jameson
You really like your video games, doncha?
[VID]
Elouise Orlav 01/18/17 The blonde's brow knits together, head shaking slightly. "Northern hemisphere? Try the world, babe. You're it. ... By like a landslide. But you already know that." Her head turns slightly, craning to reach the sandwich, but she's locked into Jameson's hold. Rather than detach at all, she tightens her grip, using him as rock wall, for all intents and purposes, as she finagles her legs around his waist.

As if that wasn't enough, she then reclines trying to grab the sandwich off of the counter with her mouth. "Babe. You can booty call me in Polish, but I need that sandwich. But I also don't want to let go. Help." While she might be a bottomless pit, Elouise also happened to be in great shape, all things considered. Without the alcohol and drugs, she had a surprising amount of time to be active.

... And something about being healthy for the baby, but that wasn't important.

"Also, I may have sent Autumn a sext of you. Sorry." His koala wife releases his waist, feet falling back to the floor. "... but it was a good picture!"
Elouise Orlav 01/18/17 "I don't want to, Jameson. I want to believe this is going to all work out. I do. I don't doubt us. Or any of this." Her hands reach up, fingers combing through her blonde locks. "I don't know why I let her get me so worked up. She's never going to go away, is she?"

She paces back over to him, pulling his hands into hers. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get worked up like that. I try not to think about either of them. It just feels like the past keeps clawing its way back to me. I can't go back to being that girl. I want to be here, with you. And this family." She looks up at him again, a smile finally prevailing, even if it's forced.

"Half a team. Are you Batman? Does that make me Robin? Is Noura the Joker?" Her mind shifts from that of real problems back to her normal, light-hearted nature. "Can we get onesies to match?"
Elouise Orlav 01/18/17 Her husband pulls her into a kiss, leaving her calmer, and a degree more reassured. She shutters, dipping her head back down to hide her face briefly against his chest. Her grip tightens around him, falling silent for a brief moment before her emotions fade.

"You're the first person who ever wanted me, Jameson. The first person. Even the people who were obligated to love me don't want anything to do with me. Buffalo was a mistake. I never should have left Moscow." Elouise begins to pull away, another miserable sound caught in her throat.

"I thought maybe she would want to be a part of this baby's life. I f*cked up. I let her in my head again, Jameson. You know, my father never even told his second wife about me? He's ashamed of me. You're all I have, you know. This is it." Her frustration begins to boil over, taking a step away from him then.

"Trista called me this morning. I don't even know why I picked up, I told her I'd never speak to her again, but I thought, maybe she changed her mind. Maybe she thought about it more. But she just called to let me know I'm going to f*ck all of this up. You, this kid, everything. And I don't think she's wrong." It was a mix of distress, anger, and hunger that formed the mess that currently was Elouise. And Jameson had never before witnessed first-hand how her mother affected her.
Elouise Orlav 01/18/17 Elouise keeps a glum expression, a total limp noodle in his hold. Letting out a sigh, she rests her cheek against his shoulder. As her brow droops, another despondent sigh escapes.

"Yes we still joke... but I was serious." She finally wraps her arms around his chest, inching closer for comfort. "I was just thinking about what Trista said. That I'm selfish... and maybe I don't deserve you. You sister definitely thinks so too."

Tilting her head back some, she peers up at him, lips pursed in a contemplative frown. "I'm sorry I'm stupid, and I don't understand everything, and I'm mean, but I love you and I don't want you to get rid of me."
Elouise Orlav 01/18/17 -soft sigh-
-gives sandwich back-
I'm so sad, I'm not even hungry.
Do you really think I'm not a nice person?
Elouise Orlav 01/18/17 -stomps in, glares at-
-takes sandwich-
I'm a sad panda.
Autumn Summers 01/18/17 Jameson
No reason.
You work out, don't you? I honestly hadn't noticed before.
Elouise Orlav 01/18/17 Jameson
Oops...
Autumn Summers 01/17/17 Jameson
Nice knickers, Jamieboy. I figured you weren't one for tighty whities.
Elouise Orlav 01/17/17 No, I get it. You love me, but I'm a horrible person.
-big sigh-
I love you too. If I'm even capable of that, because I'm so...
HORRIBLE.
-intense pouting-
Elouise Orlav 01/17/17 Just checking.
-nuzzles-
Do you think I'm a selfish person?
Like mean selfish?
Like...horrible?!
Elouise Orlav 01/17/17 -follows pringle with eyes-
-tries to bite-
... Nancy, first of all.
Second of all, don't be stupid. You're the love of my life, Nancy pales in comparison.
Am I yours?
-furrows brow, stares at-
Elouise Orlav 01/17/17 -tsk's-
No, Jameson, my favorite thing is being with you.
The other stuff is background noise.
Plus, clubbing is totally useless without cocaine.
Elouise Orlav 01/17/17 -scowls-
I didn't say that. What am I going to do for the four hours a day you're not with me?
-snatches pringle-
-tries to eat the whole thing at once-
Can I go clubbing with Autumn? Or do pregnant women not do that?
Elouise Orlav 01/17/17 -wide eyes-
Ooooh. Wait. Gross.
Why do you sext me so much?!
Elouise Orlav 01/17/17 -scrambles into office-
-pushes work aside, like usual-
-koalas-
Food. Also, why won't anyone tell me what sexting is?
Autumn Summers 01/17/17 Jameson
Well, you would know.
Is that it? I'm not ashamed of my body. My parents are nudists.
Autumn Summers 01/17/17 Jameson
I am not explaining to Elouise what sexting is. Why the hell is she asking me?
Elouise Orlav 01/17/17 Jamie-Bear
BABE. I AM DYING. STARVATION. FOOD. NEED.
Elouise Orlav 01/17/17 Jameson
I'm hungry. Am need food. Feed. Feeeeeeed.
Autumn Summers 01/17/17 Jalapeño
Your wife wants food. You should bring it to her.
Elouise Orlav 01/16/17 [New Snapchat]
Elouise Orlav 01/16/17 Norman Bates
...you're still not alleviating any of my fears.
What are you doing right now?
Elouise Orlav 01/16/17 American Psycho
I DO NOT WANT TO DO FIFTY SHADES OF GREY. THAT WAS A JOKE.
PLEASE RETURN THEM.
Autumn Summers 01/16/17 Jameson
Jalapeño business!
Saw it on Food Network last night.
Elouise Orlav 01/16/17 Jameson
Thanks for the pancakes this morning. 😍
...and for cleaning up my pancake puke. 😷
Autumn Summers 01/16/17 Jameson
It's really very sweet. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. Wouldn't want to ruin your fearsome reputation.
Any nuisances you need taken care of while I'm there?
Autumn Summers 01/16/17 Jameson
The warm welcome is appreciate. She's worried about you, I think.

Jameson
What recruitment speech, old boy? ☺
Autumn Summers 01/16/17 Jameson
Turns out I'm coming to Moscow. Now I can tell you knock knock jokes in person. Aren't you excited?
Elouise Orlav 01/13/17 Babe Sauce
Autumn felt me up and stole your money.
As my husband you should make it clear you're the owner of said butt. And only you and my boyfriends are allowed to touch it. ❤
Autumn Summers 01/13/17 Jameson
Sooooorry. But thank you for lunch. And breakfast. Hell, a whole new fancy outfit.
Autumn Summers 01/13/17 Jameson
You should tell your wife not to carry a wad of cash in her pocket.
Claire Cross 01/13/17 ~holds out arms for a hug~
You really are my son now!
~hiccups, falls back on hallway wall~
Atom Noire 01/12/17 Jameson Orlav just stole $0.00 from you!

"You're not sneaky, I know you are trying to get the goods! Don't worry. My husband and your wife don't need to know. This mouth remains shut as long as I am provided with an ample amount of sour gummy worms. Your decision, Mr. Orlav. "
Elouise Orlav 01/12/17
Elouise Orlav 01/12/17 -is used to being hauled around like a sack of flour-
Hold on. Lunch?!
-gasps-
This is a booty call! You're booty calling me!
Elouise Orlav 01/12/17 -pokes arm-
Pst, babe. Flex. Just once.
Autumn Summers 01/11/17 Jameson
You're right. It's difficult to turn your back on blood, isn't it? Won't stop me from beating the hell out of them, though. In the end, it depends on the severity of what they do. There are a few things which cannot be forgiven.
Elouise Orlav 01/11/17 -under breath-
Sweet baby Jesus.
-coughs, looks at-
Jameson. It's just a coincidence you've got a rockin' bod. And I am going to take advantage of you whenever I want. I'm amending the contract.
-wide eyes, gasps-
Unless you're not attracted to me because I'm pregnant! You monster!
Autumn Summers 01/11/17 Jameson
I have to keep myself entertained somehow.
Huh... Your sister is that bad?
Autumn Summers 01/11/17 Jameson
Weeeviiiil weeeeviiiilll rock you!
Mehehehe...
You ol' charmer, you. A lady certainly likes to know she's appreciated. Even if it's for not so conventional things. Who is this other person?
Elouise Orlav 01/11/17 -wags a finger-
Hold on. You're telling me I could have been booty calling you all these months? Seriously?
-huffs, folds arms-
And you are NOT always flirting with me. I would have known, thank you.
-clears throat-
Mmk. Now what's the word for 'princess' in Czech again? Quinoa?
Autumn Summers 01/11/17 Jameson
I have zero military background. Surely you know that.

Jameson
(Google, b*tch.)
Weevil.
Elouise Orlav 01/11/17 -furrows brow-
Listen, I think I know what a booty call is. I just got the definition fifteen minutes ago from the Internet. And the internet never lies.
-clears throat, looks around-
...groceries? Are you food-flirting with me?!
Autumn Summers 01/11/17 Jameson
Knock knock.
Elouise Orlav 01/11/17 -gasps, scowls, grumbles-
That was my Pop-Tart. And the last of the chocolate fudge ones!
-very wounded-
...and why isn't this a booty call? I'm only using you for your body. I don't even need to spoon after. See? Booty call.
Elouise Orlav 01/11/17 -finishes eating Pop-Tart-
-eyes up and down-
...anything I say? Ohmygod.
Buzzfeed was right, booty calls do work!
Elouise Orlav 01/11/17 Dr. Handsome
I didn't do anything.
I just need to borrow you for approximately 45 minutes.
Elouise Orlav 01/11/17 Lameson
Do you have your lab coat, and glasses? You're also gonna need a stethoscope.
Autumn Summers 01/11/17 Jameson
That's perfectly fine. You're the Doctor. Whether it's a favor or a job depends on what, exactly, you propose. Dazzle me.
Elouise Orlav 01/11/17 Jamie
Babe. Can you do me a favor?
Autumn Summers 01/11/17 Jameson
Ah... Knock knock jokes aside, my sense of humor hasn't been in top shape lately.
Tell me when works for you and your smart arse.
Autumn Summers 01/11/17 Jameson
Sadly, no. But considering my parents, I suppose it isn't out of the realm of possibilities... Why would you need to bid on it?
Autumn Summers 01/11/17 Jameson
Aye, but that's beside the point. Does it have to be specific to the one you're attempting to cure, or will any do? If it's the latter, you can have mine.
Autumn Summers 01/11/17 Jameson
Do you still want blood samples?
Elouise Orlav 01/10/17 Hubby Bubby
You know, you always did have that Hitler youth look to you.
...turns out not EVERY quote from this show is romantic.
Elouise Orlav 01/10/17 -pauses Netflix-
-...again-

My Babe
Who needs space? 'Cause I've got something magnificent, right here.
Elouise Orlav 01/10/17 Husband AF
Never. You're the only one who gets to see any of this.

Husband AF
...and all those tacos are showing. So you're DEFINITELY the only person.

Husband AF
Aren't you the lucky one?
Elouise Orlav 01/10/17 Actual Terrorist
Touché, Dr. Orlav.
Time to leak my nudes to D&S.
Elouise Orlav 01/10/17 -so, so offended-
-bats the back of his head-
I can teach her stuff, you jerk!
Like... um. Like...
-starts to panic again-
Ohmygod, we have to have a boy!
FYI, you were the deciding factor in this equation, so we'll both just blame you if it's a girl.
Elouise Orlav 01/10/17 -just goes with it-
Nugget? Babe, he's like...literally as big as a grain of rice.
-toys with his hair-
Maybe he can hear you, who knows. Don't make my baby a sleeper agent.
-squints-
Who said it was a boy?!
Elouise Orlav 01/10/17 ...youcan'tkickmeout!
-panics, wheezes-
-tackles-
I love you! Don't get rid of me!
Elouise Orlav 01/10/17 -literally has to deal with this sh*t every day-
-biiiiig sigh-
Good luck with this Satan fetus, then. Because I already love it more than your b*tch ass.
Also, we're naming it Grant Ward. Case closed.
Elouise Orlav 01/10/17 -shuffles in wearing her Ironman onesie-
-super big grin-
Somebody's jeeeeaaalllloooouuuusssseee~!
-snorts-
Come on, Jameson. You don't have to pea ****. Ward is a total assh0le.
Except that dreamy face...
Elouise Orlav 01/10/17 Boyfriend
Babe. There's something super sexy about Agent Ward. He's so bad but then so good all at the same time.
And he totally reminds me of someone, I just can't quite put my finger on it.
Elouise Orlav 01/09/17 -kicks-
SHUT UP.
-...pats cushion beside her-
Netflix and chill?
Elouise Orlav 01/09/17 YOU'RE MIXING UP UNIVERSES, JAMESON. GET IT TOGETHER.
-throws M&Ms at-
I'M TOO EMOTIONAL OVER FITZSIMMONS TO HANDLE YOU RIGHT NOW.
Elouise Orlav 01/09/17 -screams-
-throws pillow at-
Get the hell away from me! Not today, noodle face!
Elouise Orlav 01/09/17 Fitzhusband
You've been beside me the whole damn time.
Elouise Orlav 01/09/17 -pauses Netflix from the other room-
-reads text-
Husbo
Come back to me.
Autumn Summers 01/09/17 Jameson
Daisy me rollin', they hatin'...
Autumn Summers 01/09/17 Jameson
Daisy.
Autumn Summers 01/09/17 Jameson
Knock knock.
Autumn Summers 01/09/17 Jameson
Of course not. I have other means, anyway. I'm just bored and wanted to pester you.
Steal away. I have more!
Autumn Summers 01/09/17 Jameson
[insert singing voice here]
Hanna partridge in a pear treeeee!
Autumn Summers 01/09/17 *snickers*
'Sir' Jameson Orlav, pfft...

Jameson
Hanna.
Autumn Summers 01/09/17 Jameson
Knock knock.
Autumn Summers 01/09/17 Jameson
No, silly. Cows go moo.
Autumn Summers 01/09/17 Jameson
Cows go.
Autumn Summers 01/09/17 Jameson
Knock knock.
Elouise Orlav 01/08/17 Cuddle Bear
I bought a big ass Lovesac.
Prepare to never want to do anything but snuggle. 😈
Noura Orlav 01/07/17 Best Brother Ever
Jamesy, Coral just broke into my room over spilt popcorn.
Elouise Orlav 01/07/17 Big Puss
I'm trying to be nice, Jameson. She's not ready to talk yet, so I'm giving her space. ...while also not.

Big Puss
Sounds like you got your ass kicked by your little sister. Aw. So sweet.

Big Puss
Bring me tacos or everyone gets to see Jameson's butt, age 5.
Elouise Orlav 01/07/17 Bearded Babe
Why did you always run around naked as a child?
And Noura says you were a puss.
...well, she didn't, but she kinda did. It makes sense.
Elouise Orlav 01/07/17
Keep it. I love it.
-smushes fuzzy face-
Elouise Orlav 01/07/17
Elouise Orlav 01/06/17 [New Snapchat]

Currently wearing my favorite Christmas present.
Ice cream for dinner?
Gray Taylor 01/06/17 Who I heard it from? Please. All I had to do was cross your path while downwind.
Caitlyn Darrow 01/06/17 [text reply]
If you fly to get them, I'll buy tacos. So many tacos.
Gray Taylor 01/06/17 I blame your ass.
Gray Taylor 01/06/17 Your city smells like frozen carcass.
Noura Orlav 01/06/17 Jameson
Is she drinking? I will cut a b-tch.
[Fwd]
You're a good sister.
Don't screenshot this.
Elouise Orlav 01/06/17 Jameson
You are the most loving, selfless person I know. You are honest, and kind, and intelligent. And I love you.
And, your sister is a troll.
Caitlyn Darrow 01/06/17 *bats black sharpie away*
*eyes screeching baby and screeching child*
*starts screeching with them*
*texts only doctor she knows*

Text to:Squeaky Doctor
From:Cait

Is a permanent marker beard toxic for a baby? HOW DO I GET IT OFF? Noah thought the baby needed a beard. Then tried to give him Monopoly money to dance. THE ONLY MUSIC PLAYING IS BABY EINSTEIN. 911. HELP.
Elouise Orlav 01/05/17 Babelicious
That was f*cking RUDE. You're dying before I do just to make sure I'm your only wife.
...what are you up to?
Elouise Orlav 01/05/17 Jameson Kingston Orlav
Stop hating me and come home so we can cuddle.
I got the fluffy sheets out and eeeeeeverything. 😔
Elouise Orlav 01/05/17 Cutest Hub-o Ever
You’ve mistaken me for someone who is ashamed of any picture of myself.
Did you dress yourself for this picture day?
Is Borlav going to be this cute?
[img attached]
Elouise Orlav 01/05/17 Babe Sauce
If it's any consolation, I would have banged you with those glasses too. And the bad haircut.
OUR LOVE ISN'T SUPERFICIAL PLEASE DON'T DIVORCE ME.
Elouise Orlav 01/05/17 007
Wow, babe, you didn’t tell me you had such a great sense of style back then too!
Nice haircut. 😘
[img attached]
Elouise Orlav 01/05/17 Groupchat: The Order
I. HIT. THE. JACKPOT.
[img attached]
Jason Reindhart 01/04/17 -waves them off with a smile-
"Good talk."
-goes to get snacks-
Elouise Orlav 01/04/17 Jameson
I'm keeping Jason safe from your sister's vagina magic.
This is an epidemic! You're a doctor, do something!
Claire Cross 01/04/17 Sonny
I'm Claire Christ now. I have to enter a life of sobriety after I finish this twenty four pack. He was awake and sober. I think sober? I wasn't.
Claire Cross 01/04/17 Sonny
I found Jesus.
Elouise Orlav 01/04/17 Jamie
Camille married Summer. LOL.
I always knew there was something lezzy about her obsession with me.
Autumn Summers 01/04/17 Jameson
D*ck. Dumpster is more accurate. He's a f*cking bottom feeder.
Death is far too much of a mercy. I'm not sure what's worse... Giving him to you, or letting Spring keep him.
Autumn Summers 01/04/17 Jameson
Spring. Who are you trying to fool? Spring is bat sh*t crazy.
None of us are supposed to be a thing either, aye? Stupid motherf*cking tw*twaffle... Him. Not you.
Autumn Summers 01/04/17 Jameson
MARRIED MY GODDAMN F*CKING SISTER.
Autumn Summers 01/04/17 Jameson
Evil creature. Devours the dead... or living.
Autumn Summers 01/04/17 Jameson
Do you fancy a ghoul? Or are vampires strictly your specialty? Inquiring minds want to know.
Elouise Orlav 01/03/17 [New Snapchat]

Pocket-sized Jameson’s! ...I have too much free time on my hands.
Athena Maximus 01/03/17 She smirked as she walked up to the slayer. She jokingly held up her medical bad and waved it in his face. Making fun of his failed attempt at stealing from her. "Nice try Doc!" She winked softly, "It's gonna take a lot more than that to get some of my medicine. Better luck next time!" She teased.
Elouise Orlav 01/03/17 Babe. Babe. Babe. BABE.
-barges into office-
I just ordered a two-person sweater for us!
-whispers-
Now you can never escape.
Asa Aoyama 01/03/17 Either way, thank you!
*squints back*
Though.. to be fair, I never really arrived until now.
Elouise Orlav 01/02/17 Big Papa
This just in: Borlav is still smaller than a grain of rice.
And after asking the nice doctor lady, no, it's not going to 'Alien' out of me. BORING.
Claire Cross 01/02/17 Mama's Gang👩‍👧‍👧
Look what I found in the doctor's office! 🏥
Cheech, Chong, Karen, and Jose Cuervo are my witnesses. 😍😍
Claire Cross 01/01/17 Sonny
You don't like me as your mom? :(
Claire Cross 01/01/17 Sonny
Why not? Everyone needs a mother.
Elouise Orlav 01/01/17 😘Cuddle Cousin😘
I'll excommunicate myself. 😉
Also, I have a question about what one of the homeless guys catcalled to me today.
Elouise Orlav 01/01/17 😍👶Baby Daddy👶😍
If you're my brother, how messed up is this kid gonna be?
Elouise Orlav 01/01/17 Elouise is almost too exhausted to react. In fact, it's not until he's pulled away from the kiss to speak, that she collects all that has just transpired. Wide, tired eyes grin against him, fingers tracing their way from his shoulders to sift through his hair.

Their lips break, her forehead pressing to his as her eyes shut, a low hum sounding from behind closed lips. "I missed you too." She finally whispers, hands holding his head in place as her nose nuzzles his. "I won't leave again. For anything. I promise."
Elouise Orlav 01/01/17 -crawls into office-
-curls up in lap-
Elouise sleepy. Jameson go to office. Elouise need human contact.
-squishes cheek-
Love me, or everyone gets the picture of you in the Baby New Year outfit.
Elouise Orlav 01/01/17 I think you meant Happy New Year, Rainbow Obama Orlav.
Love you babe.
Elouise Orlav 12/31/16 😻Jim-Cat😻
I took a nap, then got donuts, and I just took another nap.
I have a souvenir mug for you. And a new onesie.❤️❤️
Noura Orlav 12/31/16 The Cult
[IMG]
Look who I saved from 2016! Say hello to Karen. She's bunking with Cheech and Chong.
Noura Orlav 12/31/16 "I don't know what you're talking about. Such a jokester," she breathes, a quiet laugh into the space between them. It's been a while since they had any time to themselves that wasn't fueled by something or someone else. Refreshing, is the word she would put on it, now that she knows she isn't in trouble. Finally, a discussion with someone who can keep up with her.

She sips in time with him, Midwestern upbringing giving her the knowledge to let the flavor linger. Waste not. His words, however, give her pause. Responsibility. Not just that, but he wants her help in running this place. After everything they've been through...

"...Yes." Jameson is throwing her a bone. He wants to trust her again, and she wants to get in. "What are the expectations of this position? And who do I answer to? I don't want to be working for Elouise, Jameson. Live and let live, but I won't give her that satisfaction."
Elouise Orlav 12/31/16 [New Snapchat]

Is this the kind of carousel you can ride?
Elouise Orlav 12/31/16 Jameson
(via Air-fi)
I'm more concerned about whether or not you bring tacos.
...and kissing your stupid, handsome face.
Noura Orlav 12/31/16

Crap. She's in trouble. She can hear it coming. It being one of Jameson's famous speeches that leaves you feeling like something worth less than a pile of dog sh-t, because he is just that skilled. He got it from their Aunt, she swears. Cautiously, she takes the indicated seat, making sure to sit up straight and present herself as quite confident. "If you're asking if anyone else has tried to shoot me, the answer is no."

Okay, okay. She's done with the jokes. They've already gotten her in some trouble. "I've met Claire and Cassidy. I like Claire. Cassidy is... friendly enough. And then, of course, that one dude just barged in- but you already know that. It's been radio silence, aside from those three."

She glances over him, head canting slightly as impatience begins to breed itself within at a rapid pace. "What's wrong?"
Elouise Orlav 12/31/16 Jim Bean
I caught an earlier flight. Like 4am early.
I'll be landing around lunchtime.
Be there to get me, handsome. ❤
Noura Orlav 12/31/16 It took no time at all to recognize the flat tone of her brothers voice. She's not in trouble. At least, she doesn't think so. Otherwise he would have went right into it. There is something else going on, and it has Noura chomping at the bit.

She gets dressed. She'd been out all night, and had gotten ready for a lovely sleep. But when her big brother calls, she answers. Within minutes, booted feet carry her through the Order and small hands push open the doors to his office.

"Need me to punish someone?"
Elouise Orlav 12/31/16
...Jameson?!
Calvin Bassey 12/30/16 From: Unknown Number
So glad Ellie left her phone out on the table.
Has she told you about me yet?
[video attached]
Elouise Orlav 12/30/16 😍JamieBear😍
I promise, promise, promise.
Can we get tacos? And snuggle?
And plot my mother's demise??
Elouise Orlav 12/30/16 Jameson
I'll be home tomorrow evening.
You deserve someone to kiss at midnight. :)
Elouise Orlav 12/30/16 Kool-Aid Gang
Claire, stay you. Cassidy, there are some paper bags in my closet if you need to hide your face.
Can someone iron Jameson’s suits? He’s helpless.
Also, this is my new boyfriend. Todd.
[video attached]
Noura Orlav 12/30/16 Jameson's Cult
[IMG]
I love your work, Mom.
Elouise Orlav 12/30/16 Hubbers
I just googled what that meant. It wasn't make-up... 😷
I will make you chocolate chip pancakes if you come save me.
Elouise Orlav 12/30/16 Muscles
She does that a lot. I walked 10 miles home in the snow.
...why would you kill the kid?
Elouise Orlav 12/30/16 BabeSauce
The nearest Taco Bell is 50 miles away.
Trista forgot me in a Walgreens parking lot today.
Some teenager asked me to 'send him nudes'. But I left all of my palettes back at the house. And why would he want MY makeup?
Elouise Orlav 12/30/16 Dr. Boyfriend
👩+👱=❤️
What cures lovesickness? 😫
Claire Cross 12/30/16 Claire had the seventh sense. A mother's sense, when something may be trying to punch her beloved daughter in the t!ts. Grinning ear to ear, she instructed Cheech & Chong to be good as she ventured into the restroom. Then started to record a video, that she only meant to send to Cass. Instead drunk + Mom did not = technology master.

Casseverybodygroup
[Video attachment]

Heh. I'm *hic* getting this technology thingy down!
~scratches at the door~
Oh they found me. Bye Cassiesmushie bear. Mama Claire loves you and all the other child- Son of a. Does that say group? Let me delete and-


Elouise Orlav 12/29/16 Cabana Boy
The best reason: topless beaches.
And you won't need an alibi.
Plenty of people get killed on this compound all of the time. She wouldn't be anything new.
And she doesn't think our baby is going to be cute.
Elouise Orlav 12/29/16 Babemeister
Can you get on the next flight to Buffalo?
Trista is making fun of my onesies. I need you to kill her.
And then we can take a tropical vacation.
Elouise Orlav 12/29/16 Jim-Jam
I'll be home soon, babe.
In the meantime, we have Skype.
And one of the Summers mentioned something about 'sexting'.
What the hell is that? I'm scared.
Elouise Orlav 12/29/16 Jameson
No one is here to braid my hair.
Or sing the toothbrush song.
And your sister is snapchatting me.
Are you having fun?
[img attached]
Elouise Orlav 12/29/16 Hubby
Oh my god. I love you.
I taped a picture of you to my body pillow.
It's not the same. :(
Elouise Orlav 12/29/16 Doctor Handsome
Oh. You're in bed?
...what are you wearing? ;)
Elouise Orlav 12/29/16 Jameson
No, you stupid potato. I miss you.
Is everything okay in Moscow?
Noura Orlav 12/29/16 Big Brother
Need backup? I'm practicing my left hook.
Elouise Orlav 12/29/16 JamieBoo
Okay. Miss you too. Could you sense the eye roll?
Quite a bit. Why?
Noura Orlav 12/29/16 Jameson
WTF. Some dude just walked into my f-cking room and started talking about his beard. And won't. leave.
Claire Cross 12/27/16 Sonny
WHY ARE YOU CALLING MY BABY FAT?! YES. I DO MEAN THE ANGRY CAPSLOCK ON MY PHONE. GO IN TIMEOUT RIGHT NOW. WITHOUT THE KEG.
Elouise Orlav 12/27/16 “I don’t want to go.” She’s frozen in place, jaw set in a firm line as she stares at him. Heartbroken. “She made it clear, Jameson. No one is safe. This isn’t about you, or me. What about our child? Or does that not matter in comparison to Noura?”

She regains her composure, feet stomping against the floor as she pads over to him. She wants to hit him. To scream. Shake him until he finally understands. But there’s no convincing this man. Does she give him up? Or does she put herself at risk? Put the baby at risk?

‘You should have loved me more.’. It’s what she wants to say. She wants to take off her ring. Shove it at him. Walk away. Protect their child, with or without him. But she can’t. Looking into his eyes, she can’t make herself leave.

“…fine.” She states, a whisper. She chokes on the word, concession has never been her strong suit. She wasn’t sure she had ever compromised before in her life. Elouise isn’t sure she likes it, either. A hand reached out, tentative, balling into a fist as it strikes meekly against his chest. Like a feather.
Elouise Orlav 12/27/16 Jameson
Are you giving me a f*cking ultimatum? Where the f*ck are you?

Oh, no. Pregnant Elouise was ready to explode. Hormones, man. She's tracking his location on her phone, this motherf*cker. He wanted to give ultimatums? She could give ultimatums.

The door slams behind her to their suite. No visitors. "So? Why don't you file the f*cking papers, then? Since I'm disposable now."
Elouise Orlav 12/27/16 Jameson
You don't speak for me.
You're not funny, you're not cute, and I'm not f*cking amused.
I can't believe you.
Elouise Orlav 12/27/16 Jameson
Where would you prefer we do this?
Because I'm going to kick your ass.
And then I'm leaving.
Claire Cross 12/27/16 Sonny
Next year? I'm sharing a keg in the office with the dogs right now. I don't need Jesus. I need Moses & his staff. I got a C he can split.
Claire Cross 12/27/16 Sonny
Why am I below Jesus? You can't nail him down on me.
Autumn Summers 12/25/16 (sent to Jameson and Elouise)

A late night knock on the door and one last package to accompany it. It's still Christmas so technically counts. The label indicates Jameson and Elouise's names.

Inside the plain 'shipping' box, there is a smaller, neatly wrapped gift. A hand written tag is attached to it, which reads:

To: Two Unlikely Friends
From: A Mutual Friend

Thank you both for your hospitality. I've enjoyed my time in Moscow and the opportunity to get to know you. You are welcome to come for a visit any time. Congratulations again. Here's a little something to get you started. Merry Christmas.

-Autumn


Upon opening they gift, they will find:

Elouise Orlav 12/25/16 Elouise loved Christmas. It was never about the exchanging of presents. In fact, she couldn’t remember a single Christmas worth remembering before today. But it was the holiday – the many things it meant, and it always held the promise of something she knew she would have one day.

A family.
And Jameson was more than she could have ever hoped for.

She had spent many years waiting for the Christmas morning she could wake up and shower someone in presents. Thoughtful gifts. Lavish packaging. Ribbons and bows and wrapping paper. She may have gone a little overboard as well. Instead of answering, the sound of wrapping paper scraping the floor sounds. A few stacks of boxes collapse through the doorway, followed by his wife, clad in her Santa-themed PJs. “Merry Christmas, handsome.” Her mouth splits in a toothy grin, childish amusement alight in her blue eyes.

Using slippered feet, she kicks a few smaller boxes closer to him, several more in her arms. Beautiful ties, scarves, hats and gloves, even a new pair of shoes. However, Elouise put the most thought into the final gift he would open. A scrapbook, filled with pictures of the two of them, no detail spared in the decorations. He might even begin to wonder how she ever got her hands on some of the pictures she’d included, but, she would never admit to a source.

Maybe she had entirely too much time on her hands, but it really boiled down to the one simple fact. She loved this man, and she wanted to give him a gift full of sentiments.

Once all of his boxes were in order, she promptly pauses, turns towards him, and leaps at him. Arms wrung around his neck, she presses a kiss to his neck. “I love you.” A quiet whisper, spoken with evident meaning. The holidays were never about presents, but about company. And she knew how lucky she was to have him.
Elouise Orlav 12/24/16 -crawls in-
Babe.
-smashes snowball in face-
I wanna open presents nooooooooooooooow.
Noura Orlav 12/24/16 Jameson
Only if Jason is going to be there.
Autumn Summers 12/24/16
Noura Orlav 12/24/16 Jameson
Family Christmas???
Elouise Orlav 12/23/16 Jameson
At least I’m married and not a teenager!
Baby Satan will be the One to Rule Them All.
[img attached]
Winter Summers 12/23/16 To: Jameson
From: A Summers
Subject: Orders are orders

[insert picture of a beat up Jason Reindhart]
Sorry not sorry just following my orders.
Elouise Orlav 12/21/16 Dr. Handsome
I have wine. ;o
And I'm going to have a 2oz pour, bee-otch.
...bring chocolate. And tuna fish.
Elouise Orlav 12/21/16 Worst Hubster
Listen, assh0le. I look good. And not just good, but DAMN good.
Get your cute butt over here and take me out or you’ll regret it.
[img recieved]

Elouise Orlav 12/21/16 Not Husband
Mm, no, b*tch. Like an actual dress. That I bought.
And those heels, that you bought. I even put in EARRINGS.
Autumn said I had to look sexy. Buuuuut looks like you lost your chance at that.
Elouise Orlav 12/21/16 Jameson
OH. OKAY. TAKE A BED FROM A PREGNANT WOMAN.
I get it. You don't love me anymore. It's fine.
I'll just go sleep on the street.
Elouise Orlav 12/21/16 Jameson
Guess I'll just take off this dress and burn these heels.
Should I make up the couch for you??
Elouise Orlav 12/21/16 B*tch Boy
Omg. Text me back. I’m coming to work at the lab. I need something to do.
I got my smart glasses on and everything! Look!
Also, I burned some of your stuff. Sorry. Ish. :)
[video recieved]
Elouise Orlav 12/21/16 Jameson
If Uber B*tch doesn't stay away from my Jason, she's substituting the turkey on Christmas day.
Elouise Orlav 12/20/16 Jameson
Hi!
Baby says hi too, except it sounds more like hissing and Satanic rituals.
Tacos tonight?
Noura Orlav 12/20/16 Jameson
I'm sorry I yelled at you. You only half deserved it.

Jameson
I need Jason's number, please.
Jason Reindhart 12/20/16 BroDontKillMe
The tabloid lies
We went out for platonic drinks.
I do that with everyone!
Autumn Summers 12/19/16 Jameson
Don't be a Grumpy Gus. If he gets his knickers in a twist about it, he can pay you back himself. Or I will. It isn't as if I'm giving you a show.
My siblings aren't terrifying. Though you should probably be happy we aren't going on a bender in Moscow.
Autumn Summers 12/19/16 Jameson
Also, would you like a spare sibling or three? They're all housebroken. Mostly... So, aye?
Elouise Orlav 12/19/16 As he sits down beside her, she sucks in a deep breath. She isn’t ready for doubt. In fact, if it came from him, Elouise wouldn’t know how to handle it. She was already panicking in her own way, second guessing her capabilities.

Is this real? You really are?

The blonde begins to voice a response, but she’s pinned back to the floor, one heavy, ecstatic husband weighing her down. At his reaction, her uncertainty washes away. With Jameson, she knew she could handle anything. Even a tiny Satan inhabiting her uterus for nine months.

Jameson. Can’t. Breathe.” She huffs, hands prodding his sides for emphasis. After so much languishing, she finally sighs, offering her husband a small, yet nevertheless genuine smile. “A baby.” She whispers the last word as if they’ve just discovered a long-lost, hidden treasure.

“...can we name it Flamethrower?”
Autumn Summers 12/16/16 Mehehehe
Congratulations on your impending fatherhood. I'm sure you won't mind if we, and by 'we' I mean your wife and myself, do some adventuring before she looks like she stuck a melon under her shirt. Perfect!
Elouise Orlav 12/16/16 Strewn out on the carpet, the Doctor’s wife waits patiently for him to return. Normally, she would continue to bombard him with messages until he gained a sense of urgency, but she wasn’t in a rush at the current moment. Instead, dull blue eyes focus on the ceiling fan, phone in one hand, an obscured object in the other.

As he enters, she gives him a gentle kick with her sock. “Down here.” She props herself up on her elbows, an unreadable expression worn. “You might want to sit down.” As Elouise speaks, she is pulling her knees to her chest, arms wrapped around them. “…because I have to tell you something.”

Her hand shoots out, revealing the pregnancy test that rested in her hand. The word, printed clearly on the screen was then uncovered. Pregnant.
Elouise Orlav 12/16/16 A blue eye cracks open, finding the alarm clock with blurred ambition. She lets out a groan, knowing it was too damn early to be functioning. Why had she woken up?

This. This was why. Bare feet scramble for the bathroom, soon level with her knees as she heaves the contents of last night’s dinner into the porcelain throne. Cheerios and Cheez-Its. Why had she drank so much the night prior? It was rare she was ever so sick when hungover.

And that would all make sense, if she had had even a drop of alcohol. Realization hits Elouise like a bus. No, it had to be food poisoning. It was absolutely too soon for this to be happening. Or, was it? That one time, a few weeks ago, the scotch…

Sh*t. This wasn’t anything definitive. The blonde wasn’t the brightest bulb on the tree, but she was smart enough to know there were any number of reasonable explanations for nausea.

Until, of course, those reasonable explanations got shot out of a f*cking cannon into space. Staring at the blank screen of her phone, she opens her husband’s contact, typing and retyping the eventual message:


Jameson
I know you’re at the lab already, but I need you to come back. Please.
No pranks, I promise.
Elouise Orlav 12/15/16 I've got two bottles of Jamie's favorite scotch...
Does he want to tell me where my pipe is, or am I going to have to beat it out of him?
Elouise Orlav 12/15/16 Are you kidding?

...Where the fck is Nancy?!
Elouise Orlav 12/15/16 Jameson
OH. SHE’S FUNNY, TOO.
Elouise Orlav 12/15/16 Jameson
Who is she?!
Elouise Orlav 12/15/16 Jameson
Who are you looking at?
Elouise Orlav 12/15/16 Jameson
What are you doing?
Elouise Orlav 12/15/16 Jameson
If you hurt Nancy, I will fcking kill you.
You're an assh0le. Standby.
Elouise Orlav 12/15/16 Groupchat: The Order
Here is a beautiful mosaic of one big Jameson, made up of a bunch of smaller Jamesons.
All Hail.
Elouise Orlav 12/15/16 One after another, the bottles fly out of the room and crash to the floor. And with every crash, another part of Elouise's heart dies. And then -- sh*t. He takes the weed. Before she can fit another word in edgewise, he's running off with it.

"You summ'uv'a'bish." She mutters under her breath. Taking in a deep breath, she grabs her phone and quickly taps away a message.

Dr. Rudeass
I'm going to find you. And when I do, you're going to regret taking Nancy.

Nancy? Her pipe, obviously. She probably meant more to her than Jameson did.
Elouise Orlav 12/15/16 Elouise is propped on his desk, legs dangling off. She looks positively childish -- wild, curly hair untamed, Christmas-themed onesie, and an uber-amused grin plastered against freckles and pale skin. As he takes in the sight of the room, she bursts into laughter, long legs kicking to-and-fro in complete amusement.

Once she finally gets a hold of herself, she speaks. "I realized I never seriously pranked you as Elouise Orlav. And I was really bored." As she stood up, the items on his desktop were no longer obscured. Her liquor bottles, from every possible cache or secret stash were lined up, as well as, God Bless her, every marijuana-related paraphernalia she possessed.

"I just wanted to show I was serious." And so, so not -- all at the same time.
Claire Cross 12/15/16 Chameson
That sucks for Hair. 😏
Elouise Orlav 12/15/16 Placing the final sticky lace against the canvas, Elouise steps back to admire her handy work. Every solitary shoelace in their room belonging to him was now pasted to the easel in front of her, covered in glue and glitter. His shoes were lined in neatly in front of their bed, each filled to the brim with shaving cream.

His ties were stapled to the ceiling, hanging down in glorious, colorful banners. His pillowcase was stuffed with potato chips, and his socks were filled with baby powder. And the pièce de résistance? Tomato sauce in all of the cleaning supply bottles. Finished with her work, she digs out her phone.

Dr. Babe
Emergency. Come to suite ASAP.
Jason Reindhart 12/14/16 -arches a brow-
"Uh...I dunno. I never lock my door. Should I?"
-also chugs beer-
"Also, when am I getting a baby to babysit? I'm starting to think I want this baby more than you two do."
Jason Reindhart 12/14/16 -narrows eyes-
-may have caught on-
-shrugs-
"Sure, I'm up for it. She's a cool gal."
-cracks open a beer-
-is definitely not catching on-
"Hope she doesn't mind Jurassic Park."
Elouise Orlav 12/14/16 -big sigh-
-lumbers over, curls up in lap-
-shakes box at-
...what deal?
Jason Reindhart 12/14/16 -nods along, munching pizza-
"Both are crazy, yes."
-munch,munch-
-shrugs-
"Yeah, I'm cool with her hiding her-"
-pauses-
"You aren't trying to secretly set us up together, are you?"
-suspicious look-
Jason Reindhart 12/14/16 Jason had been playing his favorite Xbox One when his bestie decided to bust in unannounced. Of course, Jason did not care as most people did so anyways. However, at the sight of food and beer his hands flew to his cheeks while a joyous, open mouth released a squeal.

"Well, I'm not ready for marriage, so that's a relief. I wouldn't be able to say no."

Jason scrambled from his bed to snatch the pizza out of Jameson's hand, opening it and snatching a piece to put into his mouth almost in an animalistic fashion. After a few chews he gave a content smile. "So, what can I do for you today? Prank Elouise more? Distract her while you go do your secret stuff? Do a strip tease for Claire?"
Elouise Orlav 12/14/16 Jameson
I've been watching creepy baby monitor films all day.
Now I'm bored, sober, AND scared. Are you still pretending to work?
Jason Reindhart 12/14/16 BrothaFromAnotha
What's up, Broham?
Elouise Orlav 12/13/16 Jameson was sitting across the room from her, but he looked focused. Definitely involved in something of importance. Elouise had finished eating all of the cheetos, and there were no more episodes of Gilmore Girls to be had. Letting out a bored huff, she pulls out her phone.


Jameson
👸 ➕👱 = 👶 🔜❓
Claire Cross 12/13/16 Sonny
Stud & Muffin. Alpha & Beta. Max & Camille. Diego & Sandy. Gigi & Alfred
Claire Cross 12/13/16 Sonny
I went to Denis Simachev. Lots of weird people there. Some of them were in tank tops?? ANYWAY. I'm a naming genius. Let's see.. Hennessy & Sangria. Cash & Ruble. Moscow & Russia. Putin & Delilah. Anastasia & Rasputin. Ursula & Triton. Nemesis & Genesis. Turkey & Carol. Prancer & Sasha. Thompson & Woofera. I can keep going. I'm sober and have plenty of time on my hands. Oh! Camille & Camella. Cheech & Cheeky
Elouise Orlav 12/13/16 Elouise hears him out, continuing to munch along with her cereal, chewing with the energy she often applied to quenching her munchies. She wanted to be petty. It was what she did best, after all.

Go ahead, Elouise. Comment on the least relevant part of his argument. Piss him off. Her inner b*tch begged to be set loose. And as high as she was, she almost let loose.

But then again, she also knew what she had done was wrong. They were talking about having a family. It was time Elouise grasp responsibility by the balls and apologize. "Sorry." She stated idly before slurping the residual milk from the bowl.

"I'm with you. I'll lay off of your sister. I'm sorry I caused problems." Who was this blonde robot? She wasn't fighting back? She wasn't being an irrelevant arguer?

She sets the bowl on the floor and rises to her feet, padding over to Jameson with purpose. Her hands settle over his, tugging in an attempt to part them from his person. "I'll start being a little more mature." Of course she was still going to spend every day in some state of inebriation, but she would try to stop causing conflict for him. That was a promise.
Claire Cross 12/13/16 Sonny
Never challenge someone dressed up like a pirate Santa to a drinking game. What are the names of the 🐶s? Camille & Camel?... I'm going to find that hoodlum and ask him if he wants to date Cass!
Jason Reindhart 12/12/16 -knocks on door with a big yawn-
"Yoo hoo! I got a one Winter Summers asking for your number. What's that about?"
-munches on a taco-
-speaks with mouth full-
"Oh, and congrats on having your face everywhere. I hear that's a big honor, or something."
Elouise Orlav 12/12/16 Jameson
I'm in the kitchen. Hold on.


Talk about Noura? Sh*t. Elouise finishes pouring milk into her cheerios before getting herself together and heading back towards their suite. Hands full, she uses her elbow to shimmy the handle, slipping in without sacrificing a drop of dairy.

"Hi, babe." She flashes a brief smile before sticking a spoonful of cheerios into her mouth, ambling over towards her collective of bean bag chairs with ease. Once she was settled, cerulean eyes lock onto him. With a big gulp, she give him a nod of confirmation. "Okay, you can yell now."
Noura Orlav 12/12/16 Noura makes a face as the messages come through, once after another, and she stares at them momentarily. No. Wrong. Very, very wrong.

[text reply]
I have an attitude problem, Jameson. She tells people to kill themselves. Stop making excuses for her.

A huff escapes her, and Noura finds her gaze darting about around her. Why the hell did she come around here? What did she honestly expect? She screwed her brother over, and he moved on.

Forgiveness.

[text reply]
Tell your f*cking eyes they can watch me in London. And delete my goddamn number from her phone.

F*ck this.
Noura Orlav 12/12/16 [text reply]
Are you kidding me? She's telling me to ask you to choose between us, because she is so damned sure that she means more than anyone else in the entire world. She's told me to do everyone a favor and kill myself. Boohoo, Jameson won't let me staple my flier to your f*cking forehead.

[text reply]
Dammit, Jameson. You married a f*cking b*tch. She seeks me out just to be a f*cking c*nt. I'm no ray of f*cking sunshine, but this woman is going to know regret soon. I'm losing my f*cking patience. What is this? Do YOU want me gone?
Camille Rameau 12/12/16 Ugh. I thought I was rid of your ugly mug.
Elouise Orlav 12/12/16 To: the hub
From: incubator
Message:
You're so full of yourself.
If I have a tiny satan, do I still get to squish organs?
Ashe Miller 12/12/16 Congratulations on PotD!
Elouise Orlav 12/12/16 [message]:
Last question.
Do we name it after you, or me?!
Athena Maximus 12/12/16 Congrats on POTD!
Caitlyn Darrow 12/12/16 *tilts head*
*eyes water*
*lower lip wobble*
..You don't want to be my big brother?
Caitlyn Darrow 12/12/16 *kicks down door*
*bounces*
*squeals happily*
I always wanted a big brother! ..but why are you watching me?
Elouise Orlav 12/12/16 To: babe o’clock
From: loyal servant
Message:
Coming right up just as soon as I’m done putting these everywhere!
[img recieved]
W_Kat 12/12/16 Congrats on PotD!
Elouise Orlav 12/10/16 -squints-
-whispers-
But what if it's...ugly?
Elouise Orlav 12/10/16 [text message]:
I've thought a lot about it, and I've decided we have to procreate.
Any questions?
Elouise Orlav 12/10/16 -lurks behind-
-wrapped in massive blanket-
-tackles-
It's the naptime monster, b*tch!
Noura Orlav 12/09/16
I'm not a heathen, Jameson. Either you let me stay with you, or I'm forced to find a place to stay by other means.
Noura Orlav 12/09/16 Get your wifey's hands off my ass, Jameson, before I bit her goddamn fingers off.

...Also, can I crash at your place?
Elouise Orlav 12/09/16
Well that’s just not true. Don’t get ahead of yourself, babe.
-grins-
Elouise Orlav 12/09/16 If you weren't good looking I would divorce you.
Claire Cross 12/09/16 Sonny
I'm not auctioning her off. I'm helping her make friends! Drinking date buddies. Everyone needs them. I'll be your dog nanny. They follow me around for breakfast burrito scraps, anyway.
Gray Taylor 12/08/16 [New Email Message]
To: Jameson Orlav
From: Gray Taylor
Subject: Re: Warning

Mr. Orlav,

I would very much like to see your facilities, and your methods. Kindly forward your information and location in Moscow, and I will arrive at the earliest possible time. Please do not mention this to Autumn.

G. Taylor
Gray Taylor 12/08/16 [New Email Message]
To: Jameson Orlav
CC: Order-Inbox
From: Gray Taylor
Subject: Warning

Mr. Orlav,

I do not believe we have been officially introduced. My name is Gray Taylor, and I lead Mercy, in London. I am writing to you on the subject of Autumn Summers.

If you hurt her, even the smallest bit, I will cut you and all you love low. You will do well to think twice before moving forward. She is mine.

G. Taylor
Noura Orlav 12/08/16 [Text reply]
All I want is some attention from you. Until then... those animals. Whew. Man. Brutal.
Camille Rameau 12/08/16 Your wife said that you can have a hooker for Christmas. Happy holidays!
Elouise Orlav 12/08/16 Why don't you check your voicemail?!
-huffs, takes coffee-
-curls in lap, very pathetic-
I sat in jail for like two hours last night before Summer bailed me out.
...I also need a new phone.
Elouise Orlav 12/08/16 -sitting in jail-
-uses one phone call-
-fvcking gets voicemail-
Hi babe. In jail. Tried to kill your sister. Ended up not being your sister. Help.
Elouise Orlav 12/07/16 -gasps-
-gets up, grabs milk carton-
-whips at like holy water-
Elouise Orlav 12/07/16 To: yes boyfriend
From: lost af
Message:
Can you come find me?
I lost one of my shoes.
Need strong, handsome, cuddly hubby to help find shot glasses.
Elouise Orlav 12/07/16 To: boyfriend
From: half-drunk
Message:
Where is ginger. Need drink friend.
Need drink. Neeeeeed.
Noura Orlav 12/07/16 -Mails Jameson a box of human teeth-
-With a note- Remember that one time, at the church?
Miss you, Jamesy.
Call me.
Elouise Orlav 12/07/16 [text reply]:
YOU are the one that brought them home.
I'm bored. What are you doing? Can I help?
...can I poke a brain?
Elouise Orlav 12/07/16 To: Cookie Monster
From: baked baker
Message:
I made cookies. And they're not even laced.
Caitlyn Darrow 12/07/16 *blinks*
*stares*
Why are you always screaming?
Autumn Summers 12/07/16 Jameson
That works for me. As for a place to stay, I can make my own arrangements but will be more than happy to visit with Elouise. I apologize in advance for any property damage.

[several hours later]

Jameson
I've just arrived. Tell me where I'm going.
Caitlyn Darrow 12/07/16 *throws frozen taco at*
Autumn Summers 12/07/16 Bingo.

Jameson
Yours, preferably. There are... Complications here.
Autumn Summers 12/07/16 Jameson
I've heard you're looking for a cure. How does tonight sound?
Autumn Summers 12/07/16 Doctor Orlav
Do you prefer Doctor or Jameson? Anyway, this is Autumn Summers. We've run into a few times before but I think it's time for us to meet formally. I have a mutually beneficial proposal for you.
Elouise Orlav 12/06/16 To: babe
From: princess
Message:
You know that voice in your head that says: 'why not mix tequila and beer?'
Bad voice. Baaaad voice.
[img attached]
Noura Orlav 12/06/16 [text reply]
Please. What's she going to do? Sneeze?
She does not scare me.
Claire Cross 12/06/16 To: Baby boss
From: Cool mom
[text reply]
A mouthful of bliss makes you able to handle anything. Didn't your mother tell you that? Food cures everything except a cut. If you have a cut spray Windex. Scout's honor.
Claire Cross 12/06/16 Text to: Jameson
From: Claire
[message]
I have one breakfast burrito left. Maybe you should eat something. You sounded irate before I passed out. A full tummy makes a man less grumpy!
Elouise Orlav 12/06/16 Her arms close around his torso, choosing to press her face into him as she sucks in a long breath - cut short by a snorting laugh. "You're the assh*le." She mumbles, her chin pressed to his chest as she leans her head back to look up at him.

"And I look like a bag of trash, and smell like the possum that died in it... So I know you're telling the truth."
Elouise Orlav 12/06/16 “You're my whole life.” She inhales a shaky breath, fingers fidgeting with her wedding band once more. She was fearful, threatened. He was her home, and Noura could rock the foundation very easily. “Little faith? Don't you get it, by now?” The blonde runs a hand through her hair, brushing back the wild curls.

“I'm always going to be the more loving one, Jameson. And that is going to make me fanatical. I'm not like you. I'm not slow to anger. I don't know how to handle…” Life. That's why she did what she did. The more dulled her senses, the easier it seemed to handle things. But seeing as how the night prior had gone, she needed new coping methods.

She clears her throat, a petite, manicured hand reaching out for him, resting against the fabric of his shirt if he allowed. “I'm here for you. I always will be. Noura isn't going to change that.”
Elouise Orlav 12/06/16 Elouise would hardly admit she didn't get it. Of course she didn't. Jameson was the first person in her life who she had let matter to her. She was frustrated, more than that - bereaved for her husband. But she had no idea how to express emotions she had never felt before. Still, a deeper, more selfish feeling overpowers any sympathy she wanted to give.

Noura could possibly mean more to him than she did, and that terrified her. For the blonde, there was no one but her husband. Her mother, her first marriage, nothing. But his sister? That changed everything, whether or not she was still the same person she had been before.

’Blood is thicker than water, sweetheart’.
Noura’s words clanged around in her head since she'd first said them. And they had struck Elouise at her very core. But to admit this to Jameson? She wasn't sure she could. What if he validated her deepest fear? She couldn't stand to know the answer.

Shaky hands set the kitten down, and she's stumbling around now, fumbling with drawers and rifling through clothing, clearly looking for something. “God damn it!” She pulls her hands free of the dresser, dragging a drawer with her. The wooden box falls to the ground, clothes billowing out in disarray. She turns her back to him, face in her hands as she reins herself in.

Breathe, Elouise. “That's who the scar is from?” That day on the rooftop, what was only months before. It was the first and last night he had spoken of it. Finally, every dot seemed to be connected. “She did that to you?”

Her breath evens out, and slumped shoulders are finally turning towards him, sullen blue eyes recognizing his pain, and her mind races to find a solution.

She understood betrayal from someone you'd least expect, but not like that. And where she had neutralized the offending party, Jameson hadn't.
Jason Reindhart 12/05/16 To: My Brotha
From: Yo Brotha

Your wife found the tequila. Should I try to duct tape her to the bed so she doesn't hurt anyone or herself? I have the taco traps ready.
Elouise Orlav 12/05/16 She lets out a grunt as he plucks the joint away. She's quick to substitute the reefer for tequila, letting the aloe liquid slide down her throat with several desperate gulps. When she's ready, Elouise turns her gaze back to him.

"Yeah? Bullsh*t. Screw you." She sits on the edge of the bed now, bottle of tequila dropping to the floor as her eyes focus in her hands, fingers toying with her wedding band.

"I'm gonna go... go somewhere else. I don't like you right now." Yet, as she spoke, she sank further into the bed, curling inside the comforter.
Elouise Orlav 12/05/16 "A biggah de'wuh? Fvck you!" Never mind that she sounded like a four year old with a lipse, she was furious. Too distracted by rage and far too inebriated to care she was talking with her mouth full.

"You ga' a sista' walkin' 'round... fvck you!" She stumbles in, tripping over the unnamed dog as she reaches their dresser, tequila spilling at will as she rummages around in the top drawer until -- yes. A glorious joint, rolled to perfection.

She pauses long enough to chew and swallow before sticking it into her mouth and lighting it. "You don't get to keep secrets from me! I'm you're fvcking wife. But that doesn't mean much, does it?" Elouise is confused, belligerent, betrayed.

"Who are you?!"
Noura Orlav 12/05/16 [text reply]
She tried to stab me.
Noura Orlav 12/05/16 [text reply]
She approached me. You should be saving me from her. ffs.
Noura Orlav 12/05/16 [Text]
So... I'm at the Kremlin and you're married. Also, these b*tches smell rancid.
Elouise Orlav 12/05/16 Anger. It's enough to keep Elouise from her individual angst and carry it out face to face. Not before grabbing a bottle of tequila, naturally.

"You summ'uv'a'bish." She squints, staring him down in the doorway as a half-chewed brownie stuck in her mouth. "You're nah even gon' mention that hoe?!"
Noura Orlav 12/05/16 You're right... hag.
-Thinks-
Ooooo.. the Kremlin.
-Is on a mf mission, now-
Noura Orlav 12/05/16 You're lame. I'm going home. Visit with Aunt Cici. Sucker.
Noura Orlav 12/05/16 Really?

Here, I was expecting something more. 'I missed you, Noura. How are you? You look fantastic. What is your secret?' type stuff. Jerk.
Noura Orlav 12/05/16 SURPRISE! I'll let you take a minute to soak this in. It's okay. I've got allllll of time.
Noura Orlav 12/05/16 Man... time has not been kind.
Elouise Orlav 12/05/16 [Snapchat Sent]

We're learning tactical maneuvers... But I can only find one of the dogs. This would be much easier if they had names.
Elouise Orlav 12/04/16 -very overwhelmed, might be crying-
Yes! What are we going to name them?!
-whispers-
You're my best friend.
Elouise Orlav 12/04/16 [text reply]:
I really wish I had tequila. (: :) Jose Cuervo is a better lover than you.
Elouise Orlav 12/04/16 [text reply]:
Not if I drown you first. :) (:
Elouise Orlav 12/04/16 [text reply]:
Ugh, stop chasing away my boyfriends.
Also, I made salad for dinner. With a side of depression.
:) (:
Elouise Orlav 12/04/16 To: rude af
From: future ex-wife
Message:
You threatened Victor??
Elouise Orlav 12/04/16 [text reply]:
And I'll be here, not giving a crap.
Jason Reindhart 12/04/16 [Text Reply]
HOLYSH!TTHATSBILLNYE!
Get me an autograph and I won't tell a soul!
Elouise Orlav 12/04/16 [Snapchat Sent]

Being sober sucks. So do you.
Elouise Orlav 12/03/16 [text reply]:
In them or out of them? ;)
...is that how people flirt???
Elouise Orlav 12/03/16 [text reply]:
I swear to God, if you bring home anything with floral print I'm divorcing you.
Jason Reindhart 12/02/16 To: Lover
From: HomoDino
There's another bearded man in the Sanctuary. And two blondes. And a Red head. I took a nap for a few hours and you gathered this many?
Elouise Orlav 12/02/16 [Snapchat Sent]

I have oreos. Where are you??
Claire Cross 12/02/16 ~tiptoes up~
~attempts to pinch cheeks~
I concur. You have the cutest little dimples. Like my Cass as a baby.
Claire Cross 12/02/16 ~Prances up to~
~Beer goggles equipped~
Hey! Hey you! Son-in-law!
Ah ****. You aren't Pauly Shore. Carry on!
Elouise Orlav 12/02/16 -bats eyelashes-
But I only spread the really cute ones!
Elouise Orlav 12/01/16 -pats spot on bed-
You're so weird. Come sit down.
...but sashay for me first.
Elouise Orlav 12/01/16 -ashes cigarette, about to text back-
-screeches-
Husband! -very excited-
...you really are gay now!
-cries-
Elouise Orlav 12/01/16 [Snapchat Sent]


Screw kale! I've got bevvies and ciggies and I'm waiting for you.
Elouise Orlav 12/01/16 I don't wanna survive without you!
-pouts-
You came back from your trip so grumpy.
...also I did a ****tail of drugs while you were away and I think I've done irrevocable damage to my organs.
Elouise Orlav 12/01/16 Well, I got lost for a few hours today, but it felt like forever!
-triumphant grin-
But I totally found my way home! ...after stopping at Taco Bell.
Have I mentioned that I'm a mess without you?
Elouise Orlav 12/01/16 But babe, I'm trying to earn my wilderness adventure badge!
Elouise Orlav 12/01/16 If there weren't so many shirtless gay men prancing about, I'd have nothing to do all day.
Elouise Orlav 11/29/16 to: hubby
from: wifey
message:
The kittens are in sweaters. I repeat.
THE KITTENS ARE IN SWEATERS.
Elouise Orlav 11/27/16 -wide eyes-
-gropes-
I love you somuch.
-stuffs danish in face, like a lady-
Autumn Summers 11/25/16 Jameson Orlav just stole $0.00 from you!

"Fancy running into you again. New York, now London. Are you bloody stalking me?"
Khloe 11/25/16 *tilts her head to one side*
Cait did, but I'm sure she didn't mean it. She probably only said it because you were having that orange taco war.
*wrinkles her nose*
Orange tacos do not sound yummy at all...
Elouise Orlav 11/24/16 Not so much the former traits, but definitely the latter.
-smirks-
...I guess you're sort-of funny. Funny looking, maybe.
Elouise Orlav 11/24/16
Why did I marry you?
Elouise Orlav 11/24/16
Miryam 11/24/16 Jameson Orlav just stole $0.00 from you!

There she was minding her own business when she felt unwelcomed hands upon her person. With a hiss she turned just in time to see the culprit before he could make his getaway but this wasn’t a stranger and she knew that face. It didn’t take long for her to seek him out, chasing after him until she finally caught up to him. However instead of touching him she merely let her look of disdain do a majority of the talking though she did speak.

”If you needed booze money all you had to do was ask. Then again in my current state I’m not so sure that wouldn’t come without a risk of infection. Better think twice before you try such a daring feat again.”
Elouise Orlav 11/24/16 [text reply]:
Obviously. Aren't you excited for your first holiday?!
There may or may not be weed in the stuffing.
Elouise Orlav 11/24/16 to: hubs
from: domestic af
message:
Turkey is in the oven, beers are in the fridge.
I think I messed up the crescent rolls. :)
Khloe 11/23/16 *beams*
Promise! I don't care what they say about you, you're a nice guy. I'll bring some, too. More for everyone, right?
Khloe 11/23/16 *blinkyblinks*

You left us?! But... what about my tacos?
Elouise Orlav 11/22/16 -falls off-
-wounded-
GOOD. I HOPE HE DOUBLES AS A DIVORCE ATTORNEY.
Elouise Orlav 11/22/16 -squirms-
Tell me the truth! You're a...a... homosexual!
-wails-
My husband is a homosexual!
Is THAT why you don't want a baby?!
You're not attracted to me!
Elouise Orlav 11/22/16 Your favorite woman maybe.
-knits brow-
Would you love me more if I had a beard like Solomon?!
-climbs all over-
Why don't you love me?!
Elouise Orlav 11/22/16 -tries to grab camera-
-starts squishing his cheeks instead-
You're a mean and cruel husband.
Cheating on me with men!
-gasp-
And they're not even cuter than me!
Elouise Orlav 11/22/16 -pokes-
...
-pokes again-
-whispers-
I can taste all the colors.
Elouise Orlav 11/22/16 to: responsible one
from: plshelp
message:
Last night I went to a local bar and this guy name Vlad offered me a free tattoo. ...I can't SEE it, but it's definitely infected.
Autumn Summers 11/22/16 Slowly, Autumn's lips curve into a faint smile. It isn't much, but it's there. She hasn't smiled since the night both Spring and Gray walked away.

Shaking her head, she turns and heads the opposite direction.

Cheeky b*stard.
Autumn Summers 11/22/16 Autumn's shapely brow bounces. Cute. Does she buy it? Not entirely.

"Not a mind reader. You grabbed my ass twice. You were either copping a feel or looking for money. Or both. I decided to be generous. You missed a spot." She touches the right corner of her mouth, indicating where crumbs are on his face.
Jason Reindhart 11/21/16 -appears, sniffs the air-
"I smell pinatas."
Elouise Orlav 11/21/16 to: el señor
from: la princesa
message:
I got a piñata. TWO piñatas.
Miryam 11/19/16 Maria took the time to respond with a brave and firm handshake, pulling it away and allowing her hands to fall to her sides as she dropped her guard.
“Thank you for the advice and well wishes Jameson. It was a pleasure to meet you. Can I count on you if I need anything?”
Elouise Orlav 11/19/16 -holds hand-
-brandishes wad of cash-
Twelve scoops of ice cream, on me.
...andthenyouneedtomeetmymother.
-big smile-
Miryam 11/19/16 With her dark orbs she eyed the gentlemen before her body language depicting that she was a bit reserved and closed off by the way in which she had her arms crossed just below her chest over the leather corset which was accompanied leather pants she wore. True she was a warrior but she knew better than to trust just any stranger who crossed her path in this realm yet his words rang true she would need all the luck she could get if she were to prevail. With an extended hand her confidant voice again took up residence between them.
“Thanks I’ll need all the help I can get. Names Maria Choshek, Who might you be?”
Elouise Orlav 11/17/16 -waddles in, hands giant bag of fries-
-mouth full-
Ah'luf'you.
Elouise Orlav 11/17/16 To: run for your life
From: safe and sound
Message:
the kitchen is safe, I ditched my mom with Jason.
If you want to eat, you had better move fast!
Elouise Orlav 11/16/16 ...babe.
Are you drunk?!
-gasp-
Without me?!
Elouise Orlav 11/16/16 -sneaks up behind-
-gives wet willie-
Caitlyn Darrow 11/15/16 ...Mother to who?
Elouise Orlav 11/15/16 -gasps-
-hits-
You're supposed to love my mother!
...you're a terrible husband!
-whispers-
Please help me get rid of her.
Elouise Orlav 11/15/16 -scowls-
-nudges-
If I commit matricide, will you still love me?
Sarah Remington 11/15/16
Jesus. They're letting anyone get gold membership these days. I hope your market crashes. Maybe I'll see you in the dungeons.
Caitlyn Darrow 11/15/16 .. Can I change my middle name? It's too normal compared to the both of you.
Caitlyn Darrow 11/15/16 *laughs nervously*
Of course it wasn't Elly!.. *chokes on saliva*
Elouise..Prudence?
*coughs*
Caitlyn Darrow 11/15/16 *girly shrieks back*
Caitlyn Darrow 11/15/16 Jameson Kingston Orlav!
Ashton _ Wendell 11/14/16 *Congrats on gold bro hope everything is peachy for ya":)
Gray Taylor 11/14/16 No, no. You'll not have the luxury of solitude.
Jason Reindhart 11/14/16 *contemplates decision*

"Reptiles don't do well in the cold..."

*nods*

"I will require a special room kept between 85 to 100 degree Fahrenheit to compensate for the immense cold. Reptile life is hard."
Gray Taylor 11/14/16 Literally cannot stand you.
Jason Reindhart 11/14/16 *pulls ups suitcases*

"Alright, you've convinced me. Don't gotta twist my arm anymore."

*puts sunglasses on*

"Is Moscow cold? I hear it's cold."
Jason Reindhart 11/14/16 *soft sob*

"You left. Without a word. And here I thought we had something special."

*wipes away a single, invisible tear with a sniffle*

"It's fine. I understand. I'll just be here. All alone. Without my Orlavs."
Elouise Orlav 11/14/16 -gasps-
-elbows-
You're supposed to be taking care of me!
...being cabbage patch pregnant is hard.
Elouise Orlav 11/14/16 ...Is there room for two in that robe?
-innocent smile-
Caitlyn Darrow 11/14/16 *squints*
Am I Percocet dreaming?
Amethyst Boru 11/14/16 Congrats on the gold
Ronan Boru 11/14/16 Congrats on your golden robes.
Elouise Orlav 11/13/16
You don't want to have a baby with me? Your wife?
...Why not?!
Elouise Orlav 11/13/16 -mopes into room-

-grabs kitten, pets-
The kittens think we should have a baby to neglect.
-nods convincingly-
Elouise Orlav 11/13/16 To: jamie
From: queen smelouise
Message:
I've declared my dominance over the kittens.
Elouise Orlav 11/13/16 To: bbygurl
From: wife
Message:
I got bored waiting last night so I did laughing gas instead.
[video message received]
Elouise Orlav 11/12/16 To: The Husband
From: The Wife
Message:
Babe. BABE. May have just sold your soul. So sorry.
I can put on the nurse costume tonight to make up for it?
Nyx Photine 11/11/16 “Hey! Illusion-boy!” She scowled and pointed her finger accusingly before marching up to him.

“YOU told me I was an illusion! Well, I went to the fire station. Guess what?” Nyx’s lips pursed tightly, eyes narrowed to slits. “I’m not an illusion! And now I have a record for ‘trespassing’ and ‘invasion of privacy’.” She huffed in irritation, although her lips did quirk up betraying her amusement. Standing up as tall as she could (which wasn’t very tall at all), she balled her hand into a fist and shook it. “I oughta….”

Elouise Orlav 11/11/16
Elouise Orlav 11/11/16 -pokes-
If Caitlyn has a baby, does that mean we have to too?
Caitlyn Darrow 11/11/16 *big eyes*
Ok. I just have to remind myself there's no crying in Baseball, I mean birthing.
Caitlyn Darrow 11/10/16 *ugly sobs*
He wants out.
Caitlyn Darrow 11/10/16 @!££€&^#?!!££¥€£!£*@!!!!! Translation~ Now b1tch, Now.
Elouise Orlav 11/10/16 It was with an indifference that Elouise saw the sun rise the next day. The world had not yet collapsed, but more and more of it was sacrificed to ignorance and hatred. In the aftermath of such turmoil and devastation, the blonde felt compelled to let her loved ones know how adored they were.

The kittens got catnip, the secret puppy got a bone, and with two cups of coffee and a bag of donuts stacked in her hands, her lithe figured enters his office with minimal sound. "I got powdered and sprinkled. Just for you."
Elouise Orlav 11/09/16 Elouise slips into his room, drunk, disappointed, maybe even distraught. Quietly, she slips into his arms, pressing her face against his neck.

It didn't need to be said. In a world with so much vitriol and hate, love was that much more important.
Elouise Orlav 11/08/16
Don't you like it? Look! It's our kids!
Elouise Orlav 11/07/16
You're still buying ice cream after I'm done serving you your ass on a platter, f-y-i.
Elouise Orlav 11/07/16
I'm going to kick your lily white ass.
Elouise Orlav 11/07/16
Mackenzie 11/07/16
Mackenzie 11/07/16 One must compliment good behavior, don't you agree?
Keep it up. There's more where that came from.
[wink wink]
Mackenzie 11/07/16 You're a useless tw-t of a man.
Consider that.
Elouise Orlav 11/07/16
I love you, you stupid geek.
Elouise Orlav 11/07/16
You're a pretty good husband.
..just in case you didn't know.
Elouise Orlav 11/07/16
...is there an extra controller?
Elouise Orlav 11/07/16 Your bacon is my bacon.
Elouise Orlav 11/07/16 -kicks down door, jumps on bed-
I'm not dramatic.
-squishes cheeks-
I know you're not leaving me for Solomon, because he doesn't got...
-waves at self-
Alla dis.
-nods-
Elouise Orlav 11/07/16 To: ex-hubby
From: ex-wifey
Message:
I hope you and Solomon are very happy together.
As happy as one can be with a corpse. :-)
Elouise Orlav 11/06/16
Elouise Orlav 11/06/16
I'm your number one fan!
...love me.
Elouise Orlav 11/05/16
Elouise Orlav 11/05/16
Elouise Orlav 11/04/16 -donkey kicks-
Solomon King 11/04/16 Oh, so you're married? I ain't nobody's side b*tch.

..but I won't tell. ;D
Solomon King 11/04/16 ...are you flirting with me?
Nyx Photine 11/04/16 *Nods slowly, accepting her fate as a specter, ready to use her powers for good (so much good, like rugby locker rooms n stuff)* yessss this can be quite good indeed. One witch's screw up is another's act of genius. I'M A GENIUS. Thank you, Stranger Illusion, for enlightening me.
Caitlyn Darrow 11/04/16 Re: Squeaky
I just wait for you when it happens? I'll text you with one long cap letter. That'll be the sign or screaming. One or the other. Yes! There's one orange one that smells like me, and has my name with permanent marker on the corner.
Caitlyn Darrow 11/04/16 Text to: Squeakydoc
From: Squeaker
You have experience? Excellent! When my water breaks I'll smash through your door.
....Do you know where my squeaky toy is? Someone keeps taking it. :[
Caitlyn Darrow 11/04/16 Text to: Doctor Strange.
From: BaitCait
Are you licensed to birth or only Doctor taco bells, to get tacos?
mist 11/04/16 *Perhaps trying it when this witch isn't on line...*Gives a witcher look* And besides this witch don't carry candy however i do carry pumpkin seeds they make one invisible laughs*
Elouise Orlav 11/04/16
Elouise Orlav 11/03/16 -gasps-
Don't ruin anything for me, you *******!
-takes kitten-
-rubs face against fluff-
...you can be the Kirk to my Miss Patty?
Or how about the Jameson to my Elouise?!
Elouise Orlav 11/03/16 -crawls in-
-snuggles-
-declares dominance over kittens-
You're lucky I love you.
Elouise Orlav 11/03/16 To: hungover hubby
From: Wonder Woman
Message:
Babe, why is there whiskey in the kitten's water dish?
Elouise Orlav 11/02/16 -glowers-
-climbs on top of, steals brownie-
Love me, you jerk.
-snuggles-
-very pathetic-
Elouise Orlav 11/02/16 -teeters over-
-eeps-
-knocks head against side table-
...that's domestic abuse! I want a divorce! -so wounded-
-not at all wounded-
Elouise Orlav 11/01/16 -opens door slowly-
-peeks in-
...you love me?
An unprovoked offering?!
-tackles-
Elouise Orlav 11/01/16 To: honey boo boo
From: rollin' n hatin'
Message:
I'm going roller-skating with Ra!
Please get tacos for dinner. ASAP.
Elouise Orlav 10/31/16 To: Flynn Rider
From: Tangled
Message:
Baaaabe. I need help drinking all of this beer!
…And my left arm is still tied behind my back. HELP.
[img received]
Elouise Orlav 10/31/16 -eyes wide open-
Are you pregnant?!
-gasps-
I'm gonna be a daddy!
Elouise Orlav 10/31/16 -skids into room-
-clad in tube socks, button-down and Ray-Bans-
Now I know why the movie is called Risky Business! ...
Happy Halloween!
Elouise Orlav 10/30/16 To: hubby4life
From: da cutest
Message:
I bought a new entertainment system! And a new car. Porsche's are FAST.
Caitlyn Darrow 10/30/16 *nods*
Yes! I can't believe you bought me an unlimited supply of orange juice!< /i>
*wiggles ears, looks around*
*pulls out bag of candy,hands over*
Elouise Orlav 10/29/16 -hair flip-
I look good in anything.
-squishes cheek with a finger-
But, so do you. Because we're both fabulous.
Elouise Orlav 10/29/16 -grins-
You may just be the best husband ever.
-throws arms around neck-
I love you, and I'm also never giving this jacket back.
Caitlyn Darrow 10/29/16 *hears Jaws theme*
*shuffles faster*
Nooo! I'm too young to get mauled for waffle tacos!
Elouise Orlav 10/29/16 -pouts, ruffles his hair-
...yes. But only because I'm really bored.
-kisses nose-
I still get the french fries though, right?
Caitlyn Darrow 10/29/16 *waddles by with waffle tacos*
Elouise Orlav 10/29/16 -bored-
-bursts into Jameson's office-
-also wearing his leather jacket-
Wah, I'm Jameson and I like to work on the weekends because I'm boring!
Elouise Orlav 10/28/16 -snuggles-

-stuffs face with Bugles-
I luh' y' s'much.
Elouise Orlav 10/28/16 -stumbles into his room-
-wielding a knife-
You flushed my weed!
Elouise Orlav 10/28/16 Fine.
-squints at-
Jameson. When did you get so handsome?!
-squishes cheeks-
Elouise Orlav 10/28/16
Baaabe. Babe. Babe!
-noodles around-
You need to get some of these gummies. Take me to Camille!
Elouise Orlav 10/28/16 -looks around sharply-
Jameson... do you see the giant, rainbow chicken breathing fire in the middle of the hallway?
Camille Rameau 10/28/16 -scoffs-
She drugged herself, Jameson. She's a grown woman.
Elouise Orlav 10/28/16 No! It's a waste of good food.
-wraps arms around-
Have I mentioned I just adore you?
...Ialsoaccidentallyhotboxedyourroom.
Elouise Orlav 10/28/16 -eyes over-
If we get sushi, are you gonna do body art with it?
Elouise Orlav 10/28/16 -eyes glaze over-
You...you ate my last hot pocket?
Why are you so inhumane? So cruel?!
-grabs collar-
I need food, Jameson!
Elouise Orlav 10/27/16
I guess.
But you have to wear your glasses.
…and lose the clothes.
Elouise Orlav 10/27/16
…I’m the only one allowed to dance on you.
-knits brow-
-collides with-
-squeezes-
We can still have the cake. And the cuddles.
Elouise Orlav 10/27/16
I want a divorce. I’m throwing that stupid cake in the trash.
-grumbles-
We’re not snuggling tonight.
Elouise Orlav 10/27/16 -blank stare-
At a gay bar, you idiot!
-smacks-
How dare you get a lap dance from someone that isn't me!
-glares-
Elouise Orlav 10/27/16 -reads text-
-turns on phone tracker-

...
-finds-
Elouise Orlav 10/27/16 To: Two Left Feet
From: Best Wife
Message:
Everyone at this bar is a great dancer!
[video received]
Caitlyn Darrow 10/27/16 *screams*
*throws remote at*
OHMYGAWD IM BEING ROBBED HELP HELP! 911! ....
...........
shifty eyes*
...ohai Jameson. It's in the fridge with Ellie's cake she made. Can you be a dear and bring her back that one too?
Caitlyn Darrow 10/27/16 Group message:
Participants:FMG; FTM; Cait
Multimedia message

Rigsby likes the cake, but I have both of your cakes safe and sound! Come get them whenever. My legs are swollen and Netflix has me captive. Don't worry, you're funfetti is still in place.
Elouise Orlav 10/26/16
…like what you see?
I got more moves where that came from.
Elouise Orlav 10/26/16
Elouise Orlav 10/26/16 -squeezes-
It's a surprise! I expect snuggles and a kiss before I turn it over!
Elouise Orlav 10/26/16 Is there another flavor?!
-kisses head-
And I got you a present.
Elouise Orlav 10/26/16 -jumps on back-
Come on, Tonto, our monthiversary cake is waiting!
Elouise Orlav 10/25/16 -stumbles through door-
-arms full of pizza-
-grumbles under breath-
I can't believe they charge for extra toppings...
-blinks at-
Hiii, handsome!
-beams-
Elouise Orlav 10/25/16 [text reply]:
I thought that was a given. And bring cookies.
And chips. And a pizza. Extra pepperoni!
Elouise Orlav 10/25/16 To: Eagle Scout
From: Needs A Ladder
Message:
I got really high while wearing my squirrel onesie and now I'm in a tree.
Please help, I'm scared.
Elouise Orlav 10/24/16 -squeezes-
No one's getting our tacos!
-nuzzles-
It'll just be me, my soon-to-be obese husband, and our taco family. An unshakable alliance.
-scrunches face-
...don't get too fat, though. I still need to be carried around everywhere. I'm lazy.
Elouise Orlav 10/24/16 That's why we're keeping all of our tacos to ourselves.
-wraps arms around-
I'm very, very selfish. I'm never going to share you.
Ever.
Elouise Orlav 10/24/16 -shifty eyes-
Noah and I were watching Sponge-Bob.
I'm really good with children, just so you know.
-puffs out chest-
Gray Taylor 10/24/16
Gray Taylor 10/24/16 Jameson Orlav just failed at stealing money from you!
There goes some of that pretty again.
Elouise Orlav 10/24/16 -furrows brow-
Of course I got you a cake! I'm a good wife!
It's in my mini-fridge next to the weed.
-lil smile-
Can we go to this place and eat the cake?
Elouise Orlav 10/24/16 -cheers-
Yay, word domination! ...so much fire.
-ogles-
Something to show me? Is it a cake? Because then we have to eat two monthiversary cakes.
Elouise Orlav 10/24/16 Uhm.
-bats lashes-
Whatever you feel like paying for, handsome.
-peers up at-
When's our monthiversary? Are we celebrating?
Elouise Orlav 10/24/16 -drops pillows-
But you're supposed to come with me!
-leaps on-
-koalas-
Hubby, I require sustinence of the highest order!
Caitlyn Darrow 10/24/16 *chases down with stacks of papers*
*pants*
According to WebMD I'm going to die in twenty days! I think the baby is going to turn into a zombie according to this article here.
*flails about in panic*
Elouise Orlav 10/24/16 -glares-
-grabs pillows-
I'm going back to my room, where at least I know I'm free!
I ordered burritos for lunch, but now I don't feel like sharing!
Elouise Orlav 10/24/16 -snoops through his Facebook-
...Jamie, you got some 'splainin' to do!
-throws shoe at-
I'm posting all of the wedding pictures now!
Elouise Orlav 10/23/16 -starts to object-
-too comfortable-
-snores and drools-
Elouise Orlav 10/23/16 Gosh, you're right! Beneath this sexy lumberjack exterior are layers of macho-ness and secure masculinity.
-pets-
You're the most manly-man I know, besides my third husband.
Elouise Orlav 10/23/16 -clings to-
-rolls eyes-
I saw you tear up during Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood.
Don't try and act tough. I won't tell anyone you have feelings.
Elouise Orlav 10/23/16 You're not a nice husband.
-sulks-
Elouise Orlav 10/22/16
-dances alone in the corner of his room-
I’m feelin’ myself, I’m feelin’ myself… feelin’ myself…
-stumbles-
-crashes over lamp-
-takes off earphones-
Jameson… I’m not feelin’ myself anymore.
Elouise Orlav 10/22/16 -scowls-
You always ruin my fun!
Elouise Orlav 10/22/16 -finds-
-attaches self to leg-
-sits on foot-
Bet you can't walk with me on your leg!
Elouise Orlav 10/21/16 -taps chin-
... both?
-reaches for snuggles-
Elouise Orlav 10/21/16 -tugs on sleeve-
... where do baby's come from?
-big eyes-
Caitlyn Darrow 10/21/16 *smiles and nods*
Of course! Everyone I meet has their own page. Don't worry there's nothing bad in there.
*laughs nervously, speed walks*
Caitlyn Darrow 10/21/16 *scoffs*
*passes the churro*
Will you help me find it? It has plenty of secrets in there! I need to tell it about the hot mamas.
Caitlyn Darrow 10/21/16 *eyes suspiciously*
*Dangles churro in front of*
Have you seen my diary?
Elouise Orlav 10/20/16 -stuck-
-glares at-
My body, my streaking habits...
You're not going to keep that video... are you?
Elouise Orlav 10/20/16 -starts to noodle a way out of his sweatshirt-
-gets stuck-
I own my own body, Jameson!
Elouise Orlav 10/20/16 -big eyes-
... will it make you feel better if we had this argument while I'm naked?
Elouise Orlav 10/20/16 ...
-shoves bed cheetos into mouth-
I wuh j' a lil high!
Elouise Orlav 10/20/16 -drops cheetos all over his bed-
-...still wearing his clothes-
Jameson Kingston?!
Elouise Orlav 10/20/16 -runs by-
-also streaking-
Elouise Orlav 10/19/16 -screeches-
-worms around-
-kicks and punches-
IhadacrushIhadacrush!
-pants-
-chokes-
Elouise Orlav 10/19/16 Forthcoming? A lady never makes the first move.

-mumbles-
Maybe I liked you a little but Youwerecuteokay.
-squints-
Are you saying you noticed right away?
-lil kiss-
… did you have a crush?
-cackles-
Elouise Orlav 10/19/16 -big smile-
Ooookay, I finish the story.
-deep breath-
Elouise didn't trust anybody but Jameson kept saving her.
And then she finally noticed his cute butt and gave him a shot
She realized brown hair was okay and then he kissed her and even evil Emerson couldn't change her mind about him.
So she shared her movie time and pillows and blankets and snuggles. And she loved him forever and ever, and was really glad it only took him like five months to realize what a total catch she was.
-big kiss-
Okay, ice cream! I want lotsa whipped cream.
... and I'll pay.
Elouise Orlav 10/19/16
You thought I was hot?
-selective hearing-
…ice cream?! Who could want ice cream at a time like this?
I want to hear allll about how Hubby loved this beautiful blonde lady.
And obviously mooned over her until she finally gave in and then agreed to marry him months later.
-prods side-
… but in your words. ‘Cuz you are the best at voices, and all.
Elouise Orlav 10/19/16 -sniffle-
-wipes away tear-
But other people are supposed to think I'm an angel!
And Emerson said you were! And other stuff!
-reaches for hug-
I don't wanna share.
Mackenzie 10/19/16 Try it one more time!
Elouise Orlav 10/19/16 -sneaks up behind-
-smacks cheek-
Camille Rameau 10/19/16 I don't pay you to take orders from that terrorist wife of yours.
I pay you to take orders from me!
Mackenzie 10/18/16
Jaysus f-cking Christ. Can a girl have a goddamn vacation without some stinking bag of flesh groping her arse and tugging at her bag?
Elouise Orlav 10/18/16 -tip toes over-
-waggles brow-
... I never made reservations.
Elouise Orlav 10/18/16 -flies into room-
-almost trips in heels-
-pants-
-does a spin-
Princess enough?
Elouise Orlav 10/18/16 To: lovey hubby
From: mambo no. 5
Message:
You’re about to get me, and alla dis.
We’re dancing until someone dies!
And Emerson says I have a dry... a... I don't remember.
You'll have to ask her!
[video received]
Elouise Orlav 10/18/16 -gasp-
I was only doing it to drive Emerson crazy!
-nuzzles-
You're my favorite husband and my only husband I'll ever have from now until fooooooorever!
Elouise Orlav 10/18/16 -barrels into room-
-throws phone at-
-tackles at the waist-
You can't get rid of me! You love me!
Elouise Orlav 10/18/16 To: snuggly hubs
From: best wife
Message:
For the record, I would love you even if you didn’t have tacos or tequila.
… I would probably just love you less.
[img received]

Caitlyn Darrow 10/18/16 *squeaks over*
*hands over tacos*
*tries to say Taco Tuesday with toy in mouth*
Ta*squeak*co *squeak* Tue*squeak*sday*squeak, squeak*
*shifty eyes*
Elouise Orlav 10/17/16 -relents-
-content sigh-
I luh yoooou.
-big yawn-
-snores-
Elouise Orlav 10/17/16 -clings to like a koala-
I think you're right.
-nuzzles cheek-
-whispers-
But you have to tell me I'm a good dancer first.
Elouise Orlav 10/17/16 She lets out a little sigh, leaning over to press her cheek against his arm. With a frown, she gifts a halfhearted shrug. "I guess..."

With a heavy pout, Elouise rolls over. "I thought I was a good dancer..." She mumbles.
Elouise Orlav 10/17/16 -sad-
-tugs on sleeve-
I'm a good dancer, right?
Elouise Orlav 10/17/16 -gasp-
You poor thing!
-squeezes hands-
-tugs away-
I've got fresh, fuzzy sheets and you may be able to get some tacos out of me.
... I might even have a jack-o-lantern onesie just for you.
Elouise Orlav 10/17/16 -squeaks-
-big smile-
Hiii, handsome! What?
Need help hiding a body?
Elouise Orlav 10/16/16 {text reply]:
I wasn't sure if I loved you before, but I definitely do now.
We have to get extra napkins, though. I don't you getting any ice cream on the sexy fireman costume you'll have to wear!
Elouise Orlav 10/16/16 Reply to: Best Husband Ever
From: rlywanticecream
Message:
Have I mentioned how handsome and wonderful you are?
Here’s a picture of me behaving myself! Ice cream please!
[img received]

Elouise Orlav 10/16/16 To: protective hubs
From: burning these photos
Message:
I know for a fact only my mother has copies of these pictures.
...Did you call my mother?!
Elouise Orlav 10/16/16 To: Anger Issues
From: Chill Pill
Message:
Let me know how that goes...
I'll just be in your room snooping.
... really into Richard Simmons home workouts, huh?
Elouise Orlav 10/16/16 [text reply]:
I can't have you ruining my date tonight!
If he's a bad kisser, I'll totally give you the address.
But from what I remember... he isn't. :)
Elouise Orlav 10/16/16 To: Thrifty Thief
From: Open Bar
Message:
For your own sake, I wouldn’t take any more of my money…
Had to flirt with some G.I.’s to pay for my drinks. Don’t worry.
Totally only over the shirt action. :)
[video message received]

Elouise Orlav 10/14/16 [text reply]:
...but you're supposed to wearing what I choose!
On a side note, I'm sleepy and I miss you. Come to bed.
Elouise Orlav 10/14/16 To: Babe Magnet
From: Babe Killer
Message:
I got a naughty nurse costume... can't wait for you to wear it. :)
Jason Reindhart 10/13/16 "Yes, let us see! Preferably in Imax 3D."

Elouise Orlav 10/13/16 A grin tugs at her lips as she leans over, resting her chin on his shoulder as she gazes up at him. "Does this mean we get to go shopping?" Her mouth forms an 'o' of wonderment. "More blankets, and pillows and beanbags." She flashes her teeth in an even wider smile.

"Details? Tellmetellmetellmetellme!" The blonde shifts closer, arms snaking around his midsection. "...can we get a lava lamp?!"
Elouise Orlav 10/13/16 Elouise doesn’t seem to be too disgruntled by being thrown onto the bed. Mostly because he was ordering her food, but also because of those four words that meant so much. After he hangs the phone up, she scoots to the edge of the bed.



“Maybe we should move into a bigger room, and just have some of your stuff, and some of mine. Except it would be ours. No more your room or my room.” Compromise, she was trying.
Elouise Orlav 10/13/16 "Yeah... they pity me for putting up with you." She replies plainly, without a hint of sarcasm. She then presses a kiss against his neck. "It's okay, though. I love you enough to ignore them."
Elouise Orlav 10/13/16 Elouise takes on an expression of mock offense. “What if I just want to be sweet?” She huffs, now seemingly actually offended. But then she lowers her head, resting it in the crook of his neck, and she appears to calm back down.

“That works out in my favor though, because I tell people you beat me so they’ll pity me and give me what I want.” She looks around with shifty eyes. “Please don’t hit me again, Jameson, I’ll make sure dinner is ready at five-thirty sharp from now on!” She states, projecting her voice with exaggeration. Afterwards, she lets out a devious little snicker.
Elouise Orlav 10/13/16 She taps her chin. "...Chinese?" A big smile prevails, before she leans in. A hand reached up, squishing his cheeks together before she plants a brief kiss on his lips. "Or tacos again. I went for a run today, I earned it."

Elouise meets his gaze, brow furrowed. "And yes, I did actually run." Falling silent again, she rubs her nose against his, an Eskimo kiss. "I sorta, kinda, maybe love you... now, food. Yes, you have to carry me, and yes you have to feed me. Don't act like you make the rules."
Caitlyn Darrow 10/13/16 Text to: Doctor strange
From: Redder Red
I'm alright now. This nice hobo man closed an icky wound of mine with dental floss and gum. Should it still be bleeding? Should I go ask for my $500 back?
Elouise Orlav 10/13/16 A big, innocent smile. Followed by the blonde taking his hands in hers, swinging them as she began to talk animatedly. "Well, I was just being creative with the cuisine... in a different way."

"Now we're gonna go watch Goodfellas and eat pancakes. Because I'm a good wife."
Lloyd R Darrow 10/12/16 Thank you, good to be-
...

-blank stare-
I don't know who told you about the cowboy, but he had it coming.
His hat was absurd.
Lloyd R Darrow 10/12/16 Hmm.
-eyes self over-
Almost as if I've been six-feet underground, isn't it?
There was a bit of dirt in my shoes, but I'm fairly certain the dog did that.
Lloyd R Darrow 10/12/16 -blinks-
Or, perhaps you're just too tan.
Americans and their tanning beds.
Elouise Orlav 10/12/16 [text reply]:
That's your first thought??
I'm signing us up for marriage counseling.
Elouise Orlav 10/12/16 [text reply]:
That's for me to know, and you to find out.
Elouise Orlav 10/11/16 Was. Are.
-squirms-
You know what I meant! You're adulthood gold too.
-big smile-
Elouise Orlav 10/11/16 -squealing heard down the hall-
-busts into room-
Ohmygod. Ohmygod. Ohmygod! You were so cute!
-smothers-
We have to have a baby now. I need one of those. Or ten. S'cute.
-nodnodnods-
Elouise Orlav 10/11/16 ...no one.
-rolls back over-
-kisses nose-
Just because I'm lazy doesn't mean I love you any less.
Elouise Orlav 10/11/16 That seems like more of a you problem. I'm gonna go streaking!
Elouise Orlav 10/11/16 -shifty eyes-
This doesn't mean I'm gonna walk around shirtless.
...
Unless we can keep the puppy.
Elouise Orlav 10/11/16 I can't help that I'm irresistible! ...you use your love voodoo too.
-huffs-
Elouise Orlav 10/11/16 -knits brow-
If you say so...
-isn't convinced-
Can we get a kitten?
Elouise Orlav 10/11/16 Never!
-nuzzles-
-pauses-
-squints-
If you're allergic, then why did Caitlyn see you petting a dog?
Elouise Orlav 10/11/16 To: Sux2BU
From: Keeping the Dog
Message:
His name is Princess Buttercup, and he doesn't mind hazy eyes and sneezing. You'll get used to it!
Elouise Orlav 10/10/16 The blonde presses a grin against his chest, nodding shortly thereafter. "Shepard's Pie sounds good... just not made of me." With a quiet laugh, she presses her chin against him and tilts her head back to look up at him.

"How about you go and find your glasses, and I'll show you how sorry I am?" She pauses, sniffs him, and realizes he may be just too intoxicated. "Or we'll save that for tomorrow." She gives him a consoling pat. "Wouldn't want you to forget, because I'm a one night only show."
Elouise Orlav 10/10/16 Elouise wraps her arms around him, squeezing him with desperation. Pressing her cheek against his chest, she lets out a deflating sigh. "I love you. Please don't get rid of me."

A genuine fear, from her tone of voice. And then she squeezes harder, for emphasis.
Elouise Orlav 10/10/16 Big eyes. He's probably going kill her. That's probably the best case scenario. She climbs out of her beanbag refuge (with some difficulty) and steps up to the plate.

While still rather tall, she's still inches from eye level with him. So she simply peers up, ready for death.
Elouise Orlav 10/10/16 He’s pacing, and that only makes her more nervous. She brings her knees up to her chest, chin resting on them as she endured his anger. Mock him? He wanted the truth, and she had offered it. In Elouise’s mind, she could not quite understand what he was asking for. The blonde had offered what she had, the rambling came only from intense nervousness.

“Jameson, I’m not mocking you!” She proclaims with distress. “I won’t say I understand how you feel, because I don’t want to mock you.” She briefly hides her face, letting out a heavy sigh before she looked up at him again.

Elouise feels devastated, for him, and for what she has done to him. And in her own reflection, she supposed she knew why it hurt so much for him, especially. “What do I have to do to fix this?”
Elouise Orlav 10/10/16 A finger is pointed, and she slinks back, feeling very, very small. Lies? She had told a million lies, she was sure. Did he really want to know everything?

"Come inside." It's more command than invitation, and the blonde's leggy figure is already retreating, collapsing into her beanbag once again. "That one time I told you I was going for a run, I really just sat in Caitlyn's closet and ate her son's old Halloween candy. And that other time, when I kicked you out so I could vacuum, I really just didn't want to share my bed while I napped. Iamsosorry."
Elouise Orlav 10/08/16 Was she within? Of course. The idea of entertaining Jason wallowed in her mind only briefly, before she accepted his gifts, and explained she simply was not fit for company. In reality, she felt she deserved no comfort. And maybe she didn’t. The beer sat beside her mini-fridge, but the cookies were ripped wide open, the chocolatey goodness too much to resist.

Her name is called, and just as she dares to open her mouth mid-chew to answer, she is frozen with fear. That is the man she had been waiting for, unaware of what the consequences might yet be. He is impatiently, and from his tone of voice… drunk. A state of being she so wished to be in. And was she about to ignore him?

Certainly not. She shuffles over to the door, fumbling with the knob as she quick swings it open. She can’t meet his eyes, so her cerulean orbs focus on her feet. Well-manicured hands fidget with one another, awaiting whatever reprimand was to come.
Jason Reindhart 10/08/16 *slips a card under his door*



*has written on the inside*

"Dear Dr. Jameson Orlav with a Ph. D or Something,
I feel you need space, so I will just give you this card because it's a T-Rex with an umbrella. It's hella funny. Whenever you need me you know where I live. I'm not good at putting into words feelings and stuff like that so...yeah...I'm here. And stuff. Spadoody. That was weird.

Love in the gay way,
Jason 'Dinosir' Reindhart"
Elouise Orlav 10/08/16 Elouise stands in the room long after he had left, blank blue eyes focused upon his loving creation. The teasing had started out in absolute innocence. And she had assumed he knew her tactics. Never had she considered he may have been hurt, especially until this very day, parenthood had been a joke. Flat children, zombie children, all a game.

Padding over to the hand-carved bassinet, she ran her hands over the frame, before sinking down beside it, head pressed against it as she eased herself into the thought that he might not come back.

And if he did come back, would he still want her? Procuring her phone, she went to check his location, but discovered for whatever reason, his signal did not come through. Crossing her legs, she lets out a sigh.

And now, she waits.
Elouise Orlav 10/08/16
She scratches the side of her head, finding herself unable to speak. She looks at him with – oh, tears? Elouise might actually be apologetic.

“I’m terrible and awful.” It seemed her vocal cords were working again. “It’s okay! We can just actually have a baby, or steal one! I can fix this!”
Elouise Orlav 10/08/16 Sleep. Elouise just wanted to absolutely waste the day. But ever since Jameson entered her life, he made that impossible. She often complained but, it never actually bothered her much. Unless of course she was actually tired, in which case she would grump and groan and protest, even if he eventually got his way.

And this situation was no different. "Can't we just go cuddle?!" She grumbles, yet her hand is still planted firmly in his. Almost as if he were escorting a child. Because he knew just how difficult this blonde could be.

They're standing in a room now, and the sunlight causes her to squint. Just as she might have hid her face against his sleeve, he breaks away. Obediently (surprising, she knows!) she stands there without a word. Because she really is too tired to object any longer. And he appears excited, so she won't ruin this for him.

...Until of course, she ruins it for him. A bassinet. For a baby. Hadn't she said she was kidding? Elouise had stolen Caitlyn's pee, for Christ's Sake! No, he clearly didn't know it was a joke. And he looked so happy. "I think..."

She clears her throat. "I'm sorry Jameson." She bows her head, scuffing the floor with her toes. In a quiet mumble, something along the lines of 'not pregnant' leaves her lips.
Elouise Orlav 10/08/16 The blonde's eye twitched. This construction was not a secret, but the end product was. And any mystery at all drove her insane.

"Don't babe me, babe." She shoots back, before stomping off.

A few minutes later, she returns with a cup of coffee. Not for her, of course. Caffeine was bad for fake babies. She sets the Styrofoam cup down beside Jameson, leaning over to kiss his brow immediately after. "Okay, psycho. I'm going to go put my feet up." Elouise isn't exaggerating, of course. She's the laziest person alive.
Elouise Orlav 10/08/16 Elouise hovers, naturally, because anything Jameson is plotting is of the utmost importance to her. Yet, he was doing it out in the open. This, of course, only made her more nervous.

He was building her casket.

"You're not going to kill me, right? I don't want to die. Not sober." Yet as the inquisition rained down upon him, he didn't budge. She throws her head back, letting out an impatient groan. "Jameson, what are you doing?!" Brow furrowed, eyes narrowed, hands on her hips. She meant business.
Elouise Orlav 10/08/16 A smiling Jameson was almost always a michievous one. Dear God, what was he up to? "Jamie?" She inquired, but he was already taking off.

She takes off after him, of course, confident that even while faking a pregnancy, she could catch up to a man carrying a plank of wood. But then again, she also wanted ice cream...
Elouise Orlav 10/07/16 To: Jamie-Boo
From: Mathematically Confused
Message:
Why do some tests give me a + and other's a ||?
Pregnancy is confusing.
Elouise Orlav 10/07/16
Caitlyn Darrow 10/07/16
Elouise Orlav 10/07/16 [text reply]:
Divorce. Filed. Goodbye.
Elouise Orlav 10/07/16 To: Expectant Father
From: Swollen Ankles
Message:
You'll tire out eventually. The baby inside me, however, won't. Pregnancy is hard.
Elouise Orlav 10/07/16 To: Naked and Afraid
From: Apex Predator
Message:
When I find you, I will kill you.
Spring Taylor 10/07/16 Spring regarded the tube infested man with a blank stare. Silently decided to have a hit off a cig before she even commented on the f-ckery scene in front of her. She plucked out the pack from her pocket and clashed it eagerly into her open flat palm. Once it produced the cancer stick she balanced it between her lips. After one drag she exhaled the smoke in the direction she saw the insane man flail off towards. "Poor sod, the only crazy f-cker is him. Beware the f-cking ree-fer... Stupid c-ck." Obviously he had gotten his hands on some contaminated Mary Jane.
Caitlyn Darrow 10/07/16
*Stares at him in puzzlement*
Did.. she eat your shirt?
Elouise Orlav 10/07/16 -gasp-
-squeezes-
You can't replace me with that teddy bear! Plus...
-whispers something in ear-
Stuffed toys can't do that!
-triumphant grin-
Elouise Orlav 10/07/16 That's easy for you to say! No ones trying to steal yours!
...
-kisses cheek-
But since you're so strong, and manly and... and all that, you'll definitely win!
-nods and nods-
Elouise Orlav 10/07/16 -stomps over-
-pushes pizza away-
-clings to like a koala-
It was so scary in Camille's closet. There's just a bunch of pictures of my eyes! I don't even know how she got them!
Elouise Orlav 10/07/16 -knocks on door-
-bursts into room-
Baaaaabe!
-mother of all pouts-
I want pizza...and snuggles.
Elouise Orlav 10/06/16 To: Go Diego, Go!
From: Dora the Drunk Explorer
Message:
I'm lost. And I finished this bottle of Jack Daniel's. Help me, Jamie-Wan, you're my only hope!
Caitlyn Darrow 10/05/16 Erm.. I have toothpaste? Someone stole all my vodka.
Elouise Orlav 10/05/16

“You’re pretty too.” She snickers, looking at his pathetic expression, eyes rolling. She ignores him long enough to fill the pot with water and turn the burner back on, before she glides into him, hitting him with minimal force. Her arms wrap around his midsection, and soon enough she’s granting him a brief kiss.

“Now, I’m going to let you in on a little secret, darling, don’t be alarmed.” Hazy, reddened eyes met his. “You’re high. I didn’t poison you, neither did Camille. Those brownies were never meant for general consumption.”

She nuzzles her face against his chest, finding the texture of his shirt undeniably comfortable. Shewashighokay. “I’m glad I married you toooo,” she coos, squeezing him a big tighter then. “Food. Now I need food.” And she’s detached from him, flying towards the cabinets with intent. And the woman knows exactly what she’s looking for. Tucked behind a box of cornflakes…

Voilà! Double chocolate chip cookies, soft baked. She carries the packaged tray over, setting it on the counter before him. It was the Holy Grail of munchie foods. And the good wife she was, she offered them to him.
Elouise Orlav 10/05/16 The app carried her from her room through the maze of hallways. He was on the move, then the signal ended in…

The kitchen.

Perfect, since she was starving herself. Her tongue jutted out to wet her lips, suddenly aware of how dry her mouth was then. Her cheeks sucked in and puffed out as she shuffled along, dressed in… his Superman onesie. No wonder the legs and sleeves were much too long.

She entered the kitchen to find Jameson attempting to cook. “Babe,” she scoffed, lurching over to the stove to shut it off.

It appeared to her that he was trying to boil pasta for mac ‘n cheese, but there was no water in the pot. “Go sit down before you hurt yourself… I’ll make the munchies.” A smirk was plastered to her face, one that failed to go away in his presence. It was beyond her to see him in such a state.

She had a classic level one lituation on her hands.
Elouise Orlav 10/05/16 Closed into her room for some much needed respite, Elouise sat on her floor, stereo blaring… Coldplay? Oh, Elouise. So many better choices to be made.

She had left Jameson in his bed, or so she had thought. The poor, poor lightweight. Of course the blonde was up to her usual afternoon antics. Mimosa, marijuana, mood music. In the silence between songs, a melodic tone carries through the silence – and the smoke.

Her voicemail.

Scrambling through the wafting clouds of gray, pungent smoke, she discovers her phone, discarded near her bed, and a half-eaten bag of Fritos. She crawls over to pause the music, the interlude having led into… Marvin Gaye? The woman needed better playlists.

After listening to the playback and having a side-aching laugh, she stumbles to her feet. Where was this man of hers?

Her brow furrows as she focuses intently on the screen, making sure her text was precise enough.

To: Bob Marley
From: Mary Jane
Message:
I’ll come find you. Just… stay put.

Little did he know, she had his phone low-jacked.
Caitlyn Darrow 10/05/16 *gasps*
Sweet Elouise? I don't think she would do such a thing.
Wait... aren't you a doctor? I'll get you some orange juice!
Elouise Orlav 10/05/16 The blonde cannot help but be amused by her poor husband, so foolishly unaware of what the special in Camille's special brownies truly meant. Unlike she, he was not a total hoodlum. Well, not in the same sense.

"We'll get some nachos and go watch a movie, and you can wear whatever onesie you want." She grants him a coaxing smile, patting his back as they walk on.

And he thinks she is the handful.
Elouise Orlav 10/05/16 Elouise laughs. And laughs. "Jameson... you know what's in those, don't you?" She snakes herself under his arm, one hand resting at his back while the other held his chest, if only to keep him upright.

"Wanna get some nachos?"
Camille Rameau 10/05/16 -stares at, clears throat-
I have no idea what you're talking about.
....How did you get those?
Elouise Orlav 10/04/16 -wide eyes-
Ooooh. Those are Camille's special brownies.
I accidentally ate a whole pan, and, well...
-clears throat-
You're the best husband for braving the halls with one.
-wraps arms around middle-
And good husbands get rewards. Like cuddles and kisses and maybe a back massage.
Elouise Orlav 10/04/16 -narrows eyes-
...fine.
-tickles stomach-
Elouise Orlav 10/04/16
No more shirts. Again. Ever.
-puts down liquor-
…what’s in the bag?
-waggles brows-
Candy?!
Elouise Orlav 10/04/16 -left alone in Jameson’s room-
-probably for at taco run-
-sees liquor-

Elouise Orlav 10/04/16 ...if I'm not being punished, does this mean we're getting ice cream?
Elouise Orlav 10/04/16 To: 6 Feet Under
From: Newly Minted Widow
Message:
I'll come out of hiding... but only because I want objectify your body.
Elouise Orlav 10/04/16 To: Awk-o Taco
From: Barefoot Princess
Message:
Shoes are not a good enough reason to come out of hiding. You're terrible at playing hide-and-go-seek. Snuggles and tacos await!
Elouise Orlav 10/04/16 To: Total Sucker
From: Catch Me If You Can
Message:
I have your tacos. If you want them, you'll have to find me!
Elouise Orlav 10/03/16 The glow of her phone was still apparent, as she seemed to be writing a 'please don't hurt me I'm tired' text to her husband, until he slipped into bed behind her, causing her to drop said phone in surprise. Nevertheless, a wicked smile grows. "...deal."

She rolls over to face him, hands snaking around his torso while she gives him an Eskimo kiss in greeting. "Husbandly duties sounds wonderful. Pranks are for the daylight, anyway. Now, I need snuggles and maybe a kiss... and for you to not steal my blanket again."
Elouise Orlav 10/03/16 To: Handsome Husband
From: Loving Wife
Message:
Or instead of retaliation you come come snuggle with me! I'm bored and cold and miss you. :)
Elouise Orlav 10/02/16 To: Westley
From: Buttercup
Message:
My name is Inigo Montoya. You stole my blankets, prepare to die! ... Or snuggle. Preferably snuggle.
Elouise Orlav 10/01/16 To: Mr. Darcy
From:Elizabeth Bennet
Message:
You're not nearly as romantic as any of these British period dramas. I want a divorce.
Elouise Orlav 09/30/16 You managed to break out Jameson Orlav.

"You're setting a bad example for our morph children!" She wags her finger at him disapprovingly.
Caitlyn Darrow 09/30/16
Since it's FAJITAS FRIDAY.
Caitlyn Darrow 09/30/16 Do you know what today is?!
Elouise Orlav 09/29/16 -rolls eyes-
But, this husband had a very cute butt and was hard to resist, and so she dealt with his childish tendencies and they lived happily ever after, 80 percent of the time.
Elouise Orlav 09/29/16 -scowls-
-starts to object-
-smothered instead-
-big sigh-
-wraps arms around-
Once upon a time, there was a man with a very big ego, who far overestimated his wife's patience and affections...
Elouise Orlav 09/29/16 -big grin-
I knew I married you for a reason.
Elouise Orlav 09/29/16 -nuzzles-
It's Prudence. Is that bad enough?
-peers up at-
Elouise Orlav 09/29/16 -still laughing-
I'm not bullying you! Just...
-snickers-
Okay, yes, I'm bullying you.
Do you want to know my middle name?
-squeezes midsection-
Caitlyn Darrow 09/29/16
Elouise Orlav 09/28/16 -blink-
-eye twitch-
I'm gonna go kick her a-s. That booty is mine.
-shifty eyes-
-fondles behind-
Caitlyn Darrow 09/27/16
Caitlyn Darrow 09/27/16
Jason Reindhart 09/26/16 Text:
To: Taco Tuesday Erryday
From: Prefers Soft Shell
Message:
"So...how come you haven't proposed to your Taco Queen yet? I can arrange Taco Bell to cater. And sombreros for everyone. I can make this marriage happen, man!"
Elouise Orlav 09/26/16 To: Smoky Bear
From: ilikefire
Message:
I would never set you on fire. And if you see Emerson with a lighter, run.
Elouise Orlav 09/25/16 -deflates-
-shuffles over-
-slithers her arms around his shoulders-
If I ask nicely can I murder the new guy?
-kisses cheek-
Elouise Orlav 09/24/16 text reply
Then you had best get your cute butt over here while I'm still feeling nice.
Caitlyn Darrow 09/24/16 Silence was magical. Caitlyn reclined back into the chair of her office, and cast a glance over to the Lego castle. Silence was terrible when her five-year-old was supposed to be in the room with her. "Noah? Noah darling?"

She called up and bounced forward from the chair. Her heels clashed against the ground as she stood upright and gave another frantic once over the room.

That's when it became evident of what had happened. A trail of Legos and hard taco shell crumbs towards the door that was open a slit. "Oh dear.." She murmured and heard a shrill cry from the hallway. A blur streaked past the door with the distinctive childish giggle.

Quickly she rushed to the door and blinked down at her feet. Was that a taco? "Son of a me.." Caitlyn glared as Noah apparently ran down the hallway of Solitude with a bag of stolen tacos.

Chanting victoriously, "Tachooo! Tachoooo! Here tachooo!" Whilst he hurled a paper wrapped taco at every single door giggling maniacally.

Great. Noah the five-year-old had turned into Oprah the-taco-giver. She sprinted after him, unable to keep up with his small satanic speed legs.



Elouise Orlav 09/24/16 To: Dead Weight
From: Smothered
Message:
You're only permitted in my bed in a onesie. Saturday is sloth-themed... you're lucky I have an extra.
Jason Reindhart 09/23/16 You managed to break out Jameson Orlav.

*beats chest in victory*
"I am DinoSir! Hear me ROOOOAR!"
*instantly gets thrown back into the dungeon*
Elouise Orlav 09/23/16 Well, you did manipulate a drunk woman last night. That doesn't categorize you as at least slightly terrible.
-smooths back hair-
It's alright. I'll think I'll keep you anyway. But you're paying for the rug cleaner... there's sauce everywhere.
Jason Reindhart 09/23/16 "So it is, in fact, flirtation?"

bites at thumbnail nervously*

"I'll be truthful with you, Jameson... I have gained the affection of a woman in almost a decade. I'm clueless."

*continues to pace*

"Wh-What should I do?"
Jason Reindhart 09/23/16 *doesn't even question why he was paranoid over cake...?*

"Uh...woman code?"

*hands him the phone showing his texts with Emmerson*

"You are adept in the art of women's attractions... is this flirtation?"

*paces a little, looking worried.*
Jason Reindhart 09/23/16 *walks into Jameson's room without knocking*

*eyes are glued to phone with a confused look*

"Hey, uh... I need your help deciphering...a code of sorts."

*shifty eyes*
Elouise Orlav 09/23/16 -glowers-
-brandishes phone-
-dials something-
Yes, hello, is this the police? There’s a very rude man sitting next to me pretending to be Clark Kent…

Khloe 09/23/16 Doctor? You're a doctor?
*narrows her eyes slightly, making mental adjustments*
Since you've so generously offered tacos on other days than Tuesday and if you promise me to look after my Cait while she... erm...
*makes an expanding motion from her belly*
She kinda needs someone who knows what they're doing.
Anyway, I might be willing to forgive you for being an orange snatcher then.
Khloe 09/23/16 *eyes him*
Well, my Cait is here so it only stands to reason.
What if I want tacos and it isn't Tuesday? What if it's the only thing I can eat? Are you going to let me starve?
Elouise Orlav 09/23/16 -stomps along in the onesie-
-peeks over the rims of her sunglasses-
I like you in glasses. You're adorable and pragmatic. Like Stalin.
-bumps shoulder against-
Caitlyn Darrow 09/23/16
Khloe 09/23/16 Khloe smiles, amused, as her attempted cheek pinching is blocked by Jameson's hand. Perhaps people can sense the fact he dislikes them going for his face which is why they do.

"If you wanted to hold my hand, all you needed to do was ask," she quips, lowering her hand. "Loosen up, grumpy. You're so uptight we could shove a coal up your rear and have a diamond in a week."

Inhaling deeply, as if scenting the air, Khloe smiles again. "I'll be happy to pass on the message. Suddenly I feel like tacos for dinner. If only you had some."

Then she saunters away.
Camille Rameau 09/23/16 Stop making people cry. That is not what I employ you for.
Elouise Orlav 09/23/16 To: No Bueno
From: Tequila Death
Message:
I want divorce and some coffee. Also, I found the booby trap in the bathroom, but not until it was too late. I hate you.
Caitlyn Darrow 09/23/16 "I didn't tattle, I just told her I wanted oranges and you had them. I don't control Khloe, but she is my best friend."

Rarely did she seem to be in a serious mood, but from where she stood she couldn't quite pinpoint what was going on with his face. Frozen into place now as she watched him attentively. Sh!t. He knew it, but she quietly worked up the conversation in her head.

Her head nodded as if she was confirming an inner dialogue. Yes! Piece of Orange creamsicle pie. Easy just like breezy. Just tell him he is the doctor, and he should be ale to tell if she were pregnant. Yes! Leave it up to him to confirm or deny.. but a whole crop of oranges.

"Heh.." She chuckled nervously, and moved on of her hands up to caress her cheek idly. While she fidgeted her body from it's prior mature stance. Oh god, Caitlyn. Get on with it! The inner beast hissed impatiently, and so she did.

"FIVE YARNAHNDOC." She shrieked the response, and seemed to puzzle herself with the exclamation. What the hell kind of bloody answer was that?! Reddish brows knitted together as her face squished with a purely muddled expression. One of her fingers glided cross her forehead to scratch the side of her head in bewilderment.

Jason Reindhart 09/22/16 *hands over a few buttons and triggers*

*points to which does what*"This is the whipped cream cannon in the bathroom. This is the silly string waterfall in the bedroom, camouflaged of course. This one is the pasta gun in the kitchen. And this one is the pasta catapult outside the bedroom window. I placed pressure plates in strategic areas to cause assorted assaults. It will be a wonderful night."

*gives two thumbs up. Forgets he was nekkid*
Jason Reindhart 09/22/16 *returns after a few hours*

*butt nekkid, covering his junk*

"I lost my clothes... but I managed to plant all the traps. I had to use one to escape Emerson."

*has a smug grin*

"I may have accidentally gave Elouise a lap dance... and she may have saw my junk. She had money and I wasn't about to turn her down!"
Elouise Orlav 09/22/16 text reply:
divorce.divorce.I-want-a-morph-divorce. I'm coming home and I'm kicking your a-s.
Jason Reindhart 09/22/16 *nodnods*

"If they have fans over head, put Parmesan cheese ontop of them so if they turn it on they get covered in it. Spaghetti isn't the same without parmesan cheese."

*turns and runs to his room*

"No time to waste! I must craft the traps!"
Elouise Orlav 09/22/16 Text:
To: Beautiful Princess Jamie
From: Potato Face
Message:
One of the strippers looked a lot like Jason... but the lap dance was really cheap!
Elouise Orlav 09/22/16 Text:
To: Lameson Morlov
From: Princess Quinoa
Message:



You can’t just kiss a girl and run off. Some might call that rude. Also, I take it this means you have no interest in being a bridesmaid in Emerson and I’s wedding. And I’m not a cheater, so, it appears that may have been our last kiss. Have a fun night!
Elouise Orlav 09/22/16 As he brandished his glasses, a grin budded. Adorable. Like a geriatric hidden in the body of a moody, rugged young man.

"Yes, of course I do! It's always worked before." She leaned over, viewing the screen. "That should be your new background." More of a command than a suggestion. "I also want a tiara."
Caitlyn Darrow 09/22/16 Caitlyn blubbers on, until he snapped at her that is. Her hands promptly snug against her sides, and her red watery gaze looks up to him. Small serpentine clouds of steam exit from her eyelids, as a guttural growl snarls out a warning. Emotions were the gateway to the beast within her, after all. Even though she seemed to prompt such openings on her own accord. (Drama queen much?)

Her hands clenched into fists beside her, as she took on some deep breaths. Closing the internal gates, before the beast decided to take possession of her form. She cleared her throat, and coughed before responding to him in a raspy tone between quickened breaths.

"What do you want, Jameson?" The steam that once rolled out with her self created sobs had subsided. Moving the back of her hand to wipe some tears and snot off her face, whilst she awaited his answer.
Elouise Orlav 09/21/16 Her eyes begged an unanswerable question. The idea of trust, so foreign, had stayed deep within her. Yet, here she was. Elouise’s subconscious was screaming, but her voice was drowned away as he offered a rather appropriate response. For once, her world was quiet. And she folded into the silence, pliant to his touch, too beholden of him at that very moment to offer a witty rebuttal.

Her hands fall slowly from his shoulders, instead slipping into his jacket, lacing around his figure. He was a comfort she had been far too remiss in admitting to herself. It was odd to her then, that hands that were so familiarly rough carried such gentle capacity, drawing her near and holding her without force. Of course, she could have objected. He had left plenty of time for that. She was akin to a frightened doe, and he seemed to sense that. It was unfamiliar terrain, but he traversed it well. Simply put, she was unafraid.

Elouise returns in equal measure, a brief, responsive kiss, though it held no surprise in it. She was not bewildered any longer. He felt as familiar to her as ever. Trust no longer felt so foreign, even if it was not quite seeping through her visage, it was budding. She, of course, drew her head back first, a glimmer in her eyes as she met his gaze.

Absolute silence. In her stubbornness, she refused to speak first.
Elouise Orlav 09/21/16 Proximity. She freezes as his face meets hers, unsure of how she should react. For once, she knew crassness was not a proper, nor positive response. And then he called her a potato.

Shut up…” She closes her eyes, head dipping so that her brow leaned against his cheek. A sigh left her lips, for the first time, she realized she was still breathing. And she still had her jugular. “Patata…” She murmured against his neck, a quiet laugh following.

Elouise would pull her head back then, meeting his gaze, though it appeared as if she had stopped breathing again. She’d need to work on that.
Caitlyn Darrow 09/21/16 Caitlyn clapped her hands together and paused any further movement. The red swollen nose was ignored as she beamed up happily. Her face lit up like a Christmas display."Khloe is the greatest, isn't she?!"

If he had stopped there, but instead she followed his hand to her stomach. His simple words fell on deaf ears. Blue-green hues started to water, as she let out a cry of despair The cheer had left the Caitlyn at that moment.

"Are.. You.." Caitlyn paused and hiccuped."Are.. You.. Saying.. I'm fat?!" The words cried out between long gulps and loud sobs. Tears streaked down her cheeks as she let out another audible sniffle.

"Why...are...you.. Someantome!" Her arms lifted from her sides and flailed around in various directions, as if she were trying to give bad driving instructions, or attack an invisible assaulter.
Kai Noire 09/21/16 *is sure there is some law that says he shouldn't but jumps on top of the man*
It's mine! My precious!
Jason Reindhart 09/21/16 "Maybe she has two right feet. Perfect match."

*grins*

"Most animals poop everywhere. Just gotta teach them. Isn't that right, Jaeger?"

*the cat is just passed out on his little bed*

"My kingdom to be a cat..."
Kai Noire 09/21/16 *Throws phone into a near by bush*
What recording?
*Shifty eyes*
Elouise Orlav 09/21/16 “… so maybe I am a sour patch kid. If you’re a chocolate bar, it’s Chunky.” She snorts, rolling her eyes. “You are incredibly… resistable.” She drops her hand, eyes narrowing at him.

Elouise leans in closely, her fingers trailing up his chest as she met his gaze. “Actually, I take that back. There are certainly parts of you that I cannot resist…” She whispered, before her eyes lit up and she drew back, chocolate bar successfully thefted.
Kai Noire 09/21/16 *whips out the iPhone that is safety covered in a bunny case and starts to record screaming running man.*
*Is gonna get so many views on the youtube
Elouise Orlav 09/21/16

The offer sort of shocked her. But, then again, she was a serious chocolate fiend. She held her hand out palm up, directing a ‘gimme’ movement at Jameson. Then, a grin grows on her lips.

“Sour and sweet nerds? It’s like you and me! I’m sweet, obviously. Because I’m the princess.”
Jason Reindhart 09/21/16 *gives a suspicious look at the cough*

*shrugs*

"I'm just saying, it takes two to tango, Jameson. You and Elouise seem rather...well, up for a tango."

*wiggles brows then a wink*

"Nothing wrong with it, really. She's a beautiful woman, you're an attractive male. Who knows, maybe there are actual living babies in the near future, huh?"

*knocks on his wooden desk*

"Not me, though. Hard pass."
Jason Reindhart 09/21/16 "He's my emotional support animal. He helps me in dark times."

*gives kissy noises and the cat headbutt his chin softly*

"His name is Jaeger. Like hunter in German...or Jaegerbomb. Both work."

*he gives a shrug with a grin*

"I figured you were a living children kind of guy. Having an iguana would be like having one of my own as a pet... it would get weird quick."
Jason Reindhart 09/21/16 *arches a brow when he starts to use a possessive pronoun*

*lets that go, however*

"Well, they do seem close. Both are very odd. Very unique. She probably thinks you are going to steal her away to like...Mexico or something."

*keeps petting his cat*

"It's definitely the zombie babies. Everybody wants shambling children brought to life by the most inhumane means of human comprehension."
*nods sagely with him*
Elouise Orlav 09/21/16 -comforts-
That's right, you're rugged. Like a dull chainsaw.
Elouise Orlav 09/21/16 -kicks shin-
Elouise Orlav 09/20/16 She gasps, before a big grin grows. “Aw, you’re almost on one knee, too!” She nods and nods and nods, before offering her left hand, waving it in his face.

“You don’t need to ask, the answer is yes, I will sue you for more alimony.” She rolled her eyes after the statement. “Green apple is beautiful, tasteful, elegant, and underrated. Who wants blue raspberry when that’s what everyone else has?”
Elouise Orlav 09/20/16 And just as soon as she had control, it was lost. Flipped back to her previous position on her back, she looks up at him with big, innocent eyes. Her, doing something wrong? Impossible. With a nervous laugh, she squirms a bit before she realizes there is no escape.

She sucks in a deep breath, compromising her better judgement. “I’m sorry…” She lowers her voice. “… do I still get the ring pop?”
Khloe 09/20/16 "So testy... No more ridiculous than you, putting words in my mouth and puffing that masculine chest of yours out. I never blamed you for being a part this prank war. You admitted it yourself. With an indeed pregnant woman, of which you are now aware, who informed me you'd purloined her precious oranges in a time of need. By virtue of our friendship alone, that makes me a part of it."

Khloe cants her head to the side, giving him elevator eyes.

"Given how easily you bristle, I can hardly blame her for holding your tacos hostage. You're really quite adorable when you bluster."

To emphasize her point, Khloe reaches out and pinches the man's cheek, wondering if the gesture will make his ears whistle like a teakettle ready to boil over.
Elouise Orlav 09/20/16 The blonde plants her hands on her hips, staring up at him with squinted eyes, regardless of proximity.

"I'm a tester, Jamie. I test people."
Khloe 09/20/16 Huffing, Khloe bats at the attempted swatting. Like a cat, she is, and just as persistent.

"Lady? My name is Khloe, I'll have you know."

She rolls her eyes in an impatient manner, as if he ought to be aware of the situation. Men... So unobservant!

"I didn't stutter. You purloined my Caitlyn's oranges. It isn't healthy for a woman with child to go through withdrawals. Now, despite the scent of tacos and cheese feet, surely you possess some shred of decency and will return the unjustly acquired oranges plus interest, hmm?"

Khloe graciously lowers the stabby finger and instead places her hand expectantly onto her hips.
Khloe 09/20/16 *marches up to Jameson and stabs her finger right at his chest*

You! The one who smells of tacos and cheese feet! How could you be so cruel as to steal away a pregnant woman's oranges? Have you no honor?

*stamps the ground imperiously whilst poking at his chest once more*

I demand you return them post haste!
Sofia Johanneson 09/19/16 She lets out a soft laugh, her bright blue eyes darting side to side, mimicking his sudden look of... unease? Trying to keep things light, and unable to *NOT* tease...she takes a long exaggerated inhale, her nose twitching as she whispers in a low tone.

"Sorry, the taco was a dead give-away, might I suggest a different cologne?"

Sofia Johanneson 09/19/16 Fia chuckles at the man who pops out of nowhere.

Ahhh yes... *THE* Mr Jameson - how nice to meet you. Dare I say your reputation precedes you?

Fia gives a small inclination of her head as she regards her new crew mate almost curiously. Happy to talk any time, though I am not quite sure I need..... saving." She couldn't help but smile.

Elouise Orlav 09/19/16 ... I despise you, Ninja Princess Jameson.
Caitlyn Darrow 09/19/16 *Completely oblivious*
*Busy plotting about Tacos*
Elouise Orlav 09/19/16 -comforts-
You can still try my shoes on when I'm not in my room and think I won't notice, if it makes you feel better. Just stop stretching out my dresses.
Elouise Orlav 09/19/16 -red-
Shut up.
-shoves-
You're still my b!tch.
Elouise Orlav 09/19/16
I can be just like you one day?
Elouise Orlav 09/19/16 Now say, guppies don't smile...
-cackles-
And smile.
Elouise Orlav 09/19/16 Hmm.
-smushes cheek-
-wicked grin-
-squashes other cheek together-
Now say, I am a guppy...
Elouise Orlav 09/19/16 -fumes-
You're the worst person I know. Truly.
Camille Rameau 09/19/16 Will you stop pouting so much. Yoire such a bummer. Or I'll tell Elouise the thing that you said about the thing.... That you said....
-laughs maniacally-
Elouise Orlav 09/18/16 -feels bad-
... I'm sure you look beautiful in a tiara, Princess Jameson. I didn't mean to lash out.
-patpatpats-
You're near the top of the list, I promise. Right after everyone else.
Elouise Orlav 09/18/16 -scowl-
Only one child got shredded, thank you.
-tries to shove-
And Gunner is my favorite anyway.
Elouise Orlav 09/18/16 -clears throat-
Manly-man Princess Jameson.
-squints-
Are you flexing on purpose?
Elouise Orlav 09/18/16 -is plopped-
-tilts head to the side-
... Quinoa? Am I quinoa, or is there quinoa in the bag?
-hopelessly confused-
I just want tacos.
Elouise Orlav 09/18/16 I wouldn't say that being house trained necessarily makes you disciplined, but, you're right. Agree to disagree.
-pat pat-
Our zombie children won't give me any money. Haven't you taught them better than that?
Elouise Orlav 09/18/16 You don't intimidate me, Lameson.
-attempts to pinch cheek-
You're like a three legged puppy: adorable, but pathetic.
Elouise Orlav 09/17/16 Don't give me that look. You have no idea what tacos mean to me.
Elouise Orlav 09/17/16
Elouise Orlav 09/17/16
Elouise Orlav 09/17/16 This plaque symbolizes that one:

Jameson Orlov

Is the bomb
Jameson Orlav 09/17/16 Congrats Jameson. You da bomb.
Elouise Orlav 09/17/16 I mean, I could always reprint him, but does that mean he's still Trigger? Or is he Trigger's twin brother, Gunner?
-gasp-
Did we have morph-twins?!
Elouise Orlav 09/17/16 Ugh. That's soooo much effort. I'm sure he's just playing hide-and-seek. Or, I accidentally put him in the shredder pile.
-taps chin-
-eyes widen-
Oh, no. I think I did.
Elouise Orlav 09/17/16 Speaking of explanations, have you seen Trigger? I can't find his print-out anywhere! Am I a bad mother?
Elouise Orlav 09/16/16 That's fine! But you'll also be cleaning it up.
-pats cheek-
I guess you're the one with the nose-related fetish.
Elouise Orlav 09/16/16
-big grin-
Whaaat was that? I’m a pretty princess?
-pats-
You’re a pretty princess too, Lameson.
Elouise Orlav 09/15/16
Elouise Orlav 09/15/16 “Two bunny ears…” Her tongue jutted out from the side of her mouth in concentration until the bush rustled.

Her head shot up, locking onto Jameson’s camouflaged figure as it appeared before her. Her eyes widened, and she began to back pedal. Or, she thought she did. Still crouched down, the movement only landed her flat on her behind.

“So we do, Mister Orlav.” Defeat dampened her eyes as she looked his water pistol straight on. Whatever was in there, it probably wasn’t good. She only prayed it wasn’t urine.

As the orange-water mixture rained down upon her, she opened her mouth to gasp – sputtering as the juice obviously infiltrated. “You used Caitlyn’s orange juice for this?! You’re despicable!”

Sufficiently soaked, she stood up, wiping the sticky juice from her face. “You have won the battle, Jameson. But not the war.” It was a heavy-laden threat. After all, the limits to her tom-foolery and pranking had not yet been seen.
Elouise Orlav 09/15/16 The Troublemaker walked merrily along, without a care in the world. Or, at least that was the impression she gave to the unassuming eye. Instead, her eyes scanned the area carefully, as they always did. But, today seemed void of shenanigans. She had made promises, after all.
Tomorrow would be the day he felt doom. But today was Zumba day, and she was exhausted. Camille really knew how to kick @ss.
With a glance down, she noticed her shoe was untied. With a long sigh, she leaned over to tie it back up.
“One bunny ear…”
Jason Reindhart 09/14/16 "I see.... gotta catch me first!"
*takes a smell (for scientific reasons) then sprints away*
Jason Reindhart 09/14/16 *looks a tad disappointed*
"Aw, man, dogs are great... so is peanut butter. Whachu got against peanut butter, bruh?!"
*looks offended for a second*
"But in all seriousness baths are wonderful. If being a dog means getting baths sign me up.
*gives a nod of approval, then contemplates*
"Jelly is easy to clean up. Try Marshmallow Fluff. Sh*t sticks to everything."
Elouise Orlav 09/14/16 *crouches behind bush*
*slingshots water balloon at*
SHENANIGANS!
Elouise Orlav 09/14/16 I smell like rosewater and cardamom! If anyone smells, it's you. I just didn't want to say anything, because I have manners.
-huffs indignantly-
Jason Reindhart 09/13/16 *has deadpan expression on his face at the pleas*
"Well, my mother did always say women were the devil...
*is suddenly glomped and just...lets it happen*
*pats Jameson on the head*
"There, there, I won't take your tacos. You might want to return the oranges for the safety of your Mexican cuisine."
Caitlyn Darrow 09/13/16 *Runs away shrieking* (http://youtu.be/SIaFtAKnqBU)
Caitlyn Darrow 09/13/16 JAMESON. JAMESON. WHERE ARE YOU. I need to know howtogrtridofdemonsandboogiemenNdimscared.Start crying and I think you'll scarethemaway!
Elouise Orlav 09/13/16 ... Well, you've got me there. But who's going to mess with a kid named Trigger?
Caitlyn Darrow 09/12/16
Except Trigger. He kind of grows on you, or maybe he's using mind power. He must have gotten that from Elouise.
Elouise Orlav 09/12/16 My tiny female mind is telling me your teasing, but I can't think of a better, or more lethal combination that those three things.
-cants head to the side-
You're like a... jellyfish, wrapped in a soft taco, wrapped in a leather jacket.
Jason Reindhart 09/12/16 "So f*cking classy. And the most masculine of snacks. Aside from jerky, that's super manly. Crackers are like... Chuck Norris with a Monocle while he drinks from a tea cup full of his enemies' tears. Pinky up, of course."
Jason Reindhart 09/12/16 "Just FYI....I love crackers.
*gives a nod of emphasis*
"They rock my socks.Especially the dino shaped ones. Makes me feel like I'm back in the good old days."
Elouise Orlav 09/12/16
What?! Is the Internet not proof enough?!
Elouise Orlav 09/12/16 Ew.
-shakes head-
You can call me Mrs. Dr. Professor Elouise, if you want a pet name.
Elouise Orlav 09/12/16 Our ugly morph baby is named Trigger. I now require child support.
-holds our hand, palm up-
Elouise Orlav 09/11/16
Caitlyn Darrow 09/10/16 I miss your friend Lameson. At least he didn't take my oranges.
Camille Rameau 09/07/16 You'd be wise not to forget.. I have full access to alla the sanctuary. Maybe your tacos aren't the only thing Cait gets her hands on!!
Caitlyn Darrow 09/06/16 *Only knows pirate noises from SpongeBob Squarepants*


Arggg are we ready tacos?
Who lives in a room of no tacos?
Jameson Squirtpants!
Who's the worst doctor who ever lived?
Jameson Squirtpants!
Absentminded and tan and pompous is he!
Jameson Squirtpants!
If utter nonsense is what you wish!
Jameson Squirtpants!
He flops on the deck and smells like a fish!
Jameson Squirtpants! Jameson Squirtpants! Jameson Squirtpants!

*Stuffs taco into her mouth. Has all day*
Elouise Orlav 09/02/16 I like Lameson. We'll call you that from now on.
Caitlyn Darrow 09/01/16 After the word got out about her stolen beloved oranges. She checked anxiously every nook and cranny for them. Currently, hunched over a couch and shifted the couch cushions on the ground. A defeated sigh passed her lips and then she heard the voice behind her.

'Well,well,well.'

She stood up to her full height and whirled around to witness the camouflaged plebeian. Her eyes blinked rapidly at Jameson unsure what had transpired. Did she miss a costume invite? Was she in the middle of a game?

'Finally we meet.'

Caitlyn cleared her throat as her eyes gave him a quick once over. "Umm but we know each other, silly goose." A nervous chuckle parted her lips. Did Jameson have a twin?! Oh this could be exciting! Oh...maybe he got pummeled in the head by a pigeon?

'T'was I who took your precious oranges, and it is I who shall reign supreme over the citric kingdom!!'

The spark of electricity jolted against her spine, and she grabbed the nearest couch cushion for a makeshift shield."Come again from taco man?"The small bit of humanity giving him a chance to take back what he said. Silently she vowed never to miss a taco Tuesday. Apparently this is the result of a taco Doctor missing too many taco Tuesdays . A crazed lunatic with cringeworthy fashion taste. Her right eye twitched involuntarily as she witnessed the waste of juice from his guns. She hated guns.

Then suddenly....

She heard a shrieking crazy lady. What the hell was going on?! Oh, wait that shrieking lady was her. The high pitched shrill battle cry of the orange keeper.

When she finally noticed the cry was from her, she had already bounded toward him intent on tackling him to the ground.

She got hit with orange drizzle from the water guns. Even while in a dramatic race towards him, she took the time to place the upper collar of her dress into her mouth to suck the drop of juice out of it. While the couch cushion took most of the citrus injuries for cinematic purposes.

"GIVE THEM BACK. GIVE. THEM. BACK. NOW!"
Camille Rameau 09/01/16 I think we might replace you with this guy. He's prettier, too.

You were successful in stealing $471.00 from Lameson Morlov.
Camille Rameau 08/26/16 you're a booger.
Elouise Orlav 08/10/16 I'm just debating what sort of marinade I'll rest your corpse in before I eat you.
-innocent smile-
Caitlyn Darrow 06/12/16 Congrats on your promotion and ranking up! I spent the day trying to become your twin, instead of my twin. How do I look?
Caitlyn Darrow 06/06/16
Did you go through the drive-thru window?
Caitlyn Darrow 06/05/16 You managed to break out Jameson Orlav
"You do realize they don't deliver tacos here, right?"
Elouise Orlav 05/29/16 -hurls water balloon at-
Caitlyn Darrow 05/08/16 Where can I get a complimentary taco around here?!
Elouise Orlav 05/07/16 Well, I firmly insist you go play in traffic.
Camille Rameau 05/05/16 To: Bourbon
Body: ME. And you're the biggest weirdo of them all.
Caitlyn Darrow 04/29/16 ...Did she just feel someone's hand in her pocket? Her brows met in a curious scrunch, as she pulled out a wad of notes from her pocket. Money on you:$11,423.00
After standing there for several minutes, her weight shifts to her left hip. Her brows return to normal, and her mouth drops open.
"I can't believe someone would take 10 cents! I mean.." Her eyes blink rapidly, as she starts to recount. Was she only off by 10 cents? Maybe they had stolen a whole fifty!
Caitlyn Darrow 04/28/16 Can you even walk after all that pizza?
Caitlyn Darrow 04/28/16 After a considerable amount of time, she resurfaced. Ten boxes of pizza hid her face entirely. She used some small little slit between box four and five to see which way she was going. She was fully prepared for ANYTHING, except if he wanted something weird like anchovies or a taco pizza. "I bring you pizza! I er.. left kind of suddenly so I got random toppings?" All the while she whispered spastic in her mind
-Please don't kill me. Please.don'tkill.me. Pleasedon'tkillme.-
Elouise Orlav 04/27/16 You're already rather funny looking, so I don't believe it will be quite the detriment. But of course, it's completely your choice. It just also happens that it is the wrong one.
*intimidating stare*
Caitlyn Darrow 04/27/16 The awkward laughter ended with a long drawn out heh. She shrank into an odd crab stance. Of all the times, why today did she carry an invisible pizza to the taco man? Sense seemed to be eluding her, like she would be eluding him soon. "I-I-I.Er.. I-I'm very sorry! Do over! Yes, do over!" With that she clicked her heel, and braced herself to flail run back to the pizza place.
Elouise Orlav 04/25/16 *stares at*
I guess they're just letting anyone in these days. You'll gave to choose blonde or redhead, though. Word of advice, blondes are obviously better. More... soulful.
Camille Rameau 04/23/16 Welcome to the club. Try not to make a mess, yeah?
Camille Rameau 04/21/16 *blinks*
Ahem. Princess?!
Camille Rameau 04/21/16 Welcome to the Realm.
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