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Camille

Guest	Profile Blog House Coffins Rare Items Now accepting cavern challenges. Mail   ~   Attack   ~   Steal Demon Behemoth Born: December 11, 2013 Forum Topics Started: 4 Race: Demon Forum Posts / Replies: 10 Affiliation: Sine Metu Mail Replies Sent: 5960 Home City: Paris Mail Sent: 394 In Union With: Atticus Hammond Last Login: Currently Online: 12/10/18 at 8:56 pm No Current Mood: High   Quote:   Special Items:   Have you seen my Minion Raiding Party? My Minion Raiding Party kicked your butt My Minion Raiding party broke your nose My Minion Raiding Party can beat up your Minion Raiding Party My Minion Raiding Party stole all my clothes Official John Doe Fanclub Member Celebrating Nine years of Bloodletting - October 2015 I roamed the realm on Christmas Day 2015 2015 Bloodies Figurine ~ Best Angel A package of Dr Van Helsing marshmallow Peeps - Easter 2017 2017 Summer Bloodies - Best Angel 2017 Winter Bloodies ~ Best Writer 2018 Summer Bloodies - Best Writer 2018 Summer Bloodies - Best Bio 2018 Summer Bloodies - Best Moment 2018 Summer Bloodies - Most WTF Moment Blood Dagger commemorating the Bloodletting 12th Anniversary Camille's Biography This Profile is currently rated as: Rate this Profile :    [ 17  votes] © hscripts.com Camille's Friends ~ View All Friends ~  Comments ~ Add Comment Slayer Blade Atticus Hammond Werewolf Black Beast Caitlyn Darrow Afriel Michael Vampire Vampyrus Mackenzie Vampire Black Lord Jameson Orlav Vampire Dark Embracer Elouise Warrock Werewolf Lupanar Lloyd R Darrow Slayer Cross Bearer El Orlav Angel Uriel Julliet Swan Werewolf Selkie Jackson McCarthy Vampire Blood Demon Jack Horton Werewolf Witiko Adara Litvinova Werewolf Berserker Tiber Loche Vampire Bloedzuiger Dessa Chambers Slayer Doom Bringer Saito Eiji Slayer Guardian Dexter Gein Last five threads posted in: Forum Subject Last Post Mortal Thoughts Realm Bulletin Board: RP Classifieds Created by Castiel 12/05/18 Contests Dungeons and Raffles and Prizes, oh my! Created by Cersei Lannister 10/14/18 Mortal Thoughts Why do we talk OOC and why do we hide our writing - a discussion Created by Imogen Moreau 07/11/18 WE'RE ALL MAD HERE. Mackenzie 12/06/18 Idiot Alcohol. Mackenzie 12/06/18 F-ck this b-tch What are you doing? Come to my office. You're going to entertain me. Fiona MacKay 12/04/18 "D'ye? Ye sure?" A laugh and Fiona extends her hand. "Fiona b'you c'n call m'Fi. Aye, new.. t'th'Coven." Her hand waits, blue eyes curious as she continues to speak. "Ah jus'need t'know th'easiest way in'n'out of th'Coven. Ev'ryth'n is black down'ere.. curious th'n tha'. Ah th'n it's the concre'e." Fiona MacKay 12/04/18 A slow smile takes to Fiona's face, spreads until neat white teeth show. "Aye, ah guess ah'm lucky.. ah dinna have t'look at yo'r face." Sarcasm? Fiona welcomes it. Her head cranes. "S'yo'r bra'n is fri'd b'drugs aye?" Fiona MacKay 12/03/18 Blind eyes stare, unblinking. She does not see what the woman holds nor her smile or even her face. Just auras of the living and inanimate. "Aye? Y'say I'm pretty?" As if a human's countenance was any measure for true beauty. "I'm blind, I've ne'er seen m'face." Atticus Hammond 12/01/18 Wifebae I’ll be the one with the shriveled heads. Atticus Hammond 12/01/18 Wifebae *location shared* Mackenzie wouldn’t kill me. She’d keep me alive to torture me. Or be a mead wench. Probably the latter. Atticus Hammond 11/30/18 Wifebae You know. New York City. Hurry up, before Mackenzie kicks my ass. Atticus Hammond 11/29/18 It's late - at least with daylight savings, the sun simply dimmed quicker now. The flight from Charleston to JFK is spent in stewing silence - Atticus isn't exactly himself either, but that's another matter entirely. He's never been to Mackenzie's coven, only in a brief text message weeks before did he even have the luxury of knowing his wife's whereabouts. He pulls out his phone, typing up a message to send to Camille. Wifebae I'm here. Let me in? Mackenzie 11/28/18 Noooo. You're f-cking high right now. Listen. Go to the office. Get the gift out of Jasper's chair. You can't miss it. The wrapping paper looks like some nan's wallpaper. And bring it back. It's very important. And please trim your beak. Jaysus. It's so offensive. Mackenzie 11/28/18 You know, you should really be more responsible. Phones are expensive, after all. You think I'm replacing it? Think again. Do better. -Casually blocks Jasper from sight- -Is just starting her high- Your hair is like dandelion stems wrapped around a gnome's head. Mackenzie 11/28/18 Crew Hemorrhoid [image attached] Aleister Carlisle 11/28/18 "Darn." -blatant sarcasm- "I guess I will just have to be 'painfully ordinary' for the rest if my life." -also wanders off- Atticus Hammond 11/28/18 Wifebae HOW COULD YOU HAVE AN AFFAIR WHILE I’M HERE RAISING OUR DAUGHER CHARLEMAGNE. Mackenzie 11/28/18 You... Jesus. Did Atticus send you anything? That isn’t f-cking nudes? Mackenzie 11/27/18 So, let’s talk about those nudes. Aleister Carlisle 11/27/18 -has natural RBF- "Maybe your perception of the color blue isn't as strong as hers." -shrugs- "At least I'm not a Mary Sue heart throb from a poorly written teen romance novel. See? My eyes aren't glowing." Atticus Hammond 11/26/18 Wifebae *image loading...* You're welcome~ Atticus Hammond 11/26/18 Wifebae I didn't say YOU sent me nudes. Atticus Hammond 11/26/18 Wifebae Mackenzie says I should divorce you for sending me nudes. But wouldn't it be easier to just send you my nudes in response? Atticus Hammond 11/26/18 -phone screen shatters- Mackenzie 11/25/18 Evil Gizmo I wouldn't let you anywhere near that, anyway. You sit on a pillow, b-tch. Mackenzie 11/25/18 Feather Duster You better not linger on Santa's lap. Mackenzie 11/24/18 Well, you do smell pretty ratchet, now that you mention it. Jamison King 11/01/18 There was a lot going on and many people walking about. Had noticed from the corner of her eye an older, more established looking woman that seemed on a mission. Surprisingly enough, she stopped to give her a greeting of sorts. "House trained? Oh, yes. Mack told me to just p-ss anywhere I want to in your room. She said you liked surprises.. and p-ss." Smiled and walked away. Mackenzie 10/31/18 please croak About as romantic as my foot up your ass. Mackenzie 10/31/18 F-ck she's still alive Left you a present in your bed. Hint: it's a horse's head. Atticus Hammond 10/16/18 Camille Honey, do I look like Paul Ryan? Mackenzie 10/12/18 Please let her choke No. It's not. Maybe a trip to the bayou is in order. F-cking men.f Mackenzie 10/12/18 I hate this b-tch Now that you mention it... Jameson never produced her head. Elouise Warrock 10/10/18 Camille B*tch. Atticus Hammond 10/09/18 Wifebae I'm getting on the next plane. Jewel Saxton 10/09/18 Good to see you again, lovely.. Dita Morgenstern 10/07/18 [shocked.] Really? Since you were children? [turns on her side, rests head on an outstretched arm.] I don't have any childhood friends, except Dresden. But he's on a trip or something for work. [bright smile.] Really?! Can we be friends? I don't have many friends. Amethyst 10/06/18 Welcome to The Menagerie Camille. Atticus Hammond 10/06/18 Wifebae Where are you? What’s wrong? Dita Morgenstern 10/05/18 [giggles from the ground.] It's nice to meet you, Camille!! [gazes up, inquires.] Have you known Mistress Dessa long? She's very nice! Maeve 10/04/18 Welcome to The Menagerie Marah 10/04/18 "Welcome to the Menagerie Miss Camille" Dita Morgenstern 10/04/18 [spins, arms extended.] Welcome to the Menagerie! [falls with a laugh.] I'm Dita! Atticus Hammond 09/28/18 Don’t threaten me with a good time, sugar butt. Atticus Hammond 09/12/18 Behemoth? Makes sense. Lay off the ho-hos. Cheyenne Davis 08/17/18 Jasper Thompson 07/31/18 Chase Cooper 07/30/18 You're not a very nice lady. Camille just stole $1,376.00 from you! Lennox Orlav 07/20/18 Sweet and delicate this one may appear to be... however, appearances are often deceiving. This proves the truth when she all but demands his hand and begins writing with more pressure than necessary. To up the ante, or perhaps because he's a glutton for punishment, he pushes his hand up into the pressure. Either way, a subtle message is sent. "If anyone hollars, it'll be you, Cam." Theodora Hawthorne 07/20/18 "Thank you." She smiled at the beautiful blonde, amber eyes taking a trip down, then up. "Speaking of pretty things, what's a treat like you doing talking to the rabble?" Lennox Orlav 07/20/18 "It is difficult to reach everything myself. Do you have a name for me to yell loudly? Although a name and a number may work better." -smiles- Lennox Orlav 07/19/18 "I read somewhere there are seven people in the world who look like you at any given point. Maybe that's it. I did shower this morning..." Jewel Saxton 07/17/18 It isn't exactly the lack of ability. -pauses- It's more of the lack of availability. -was what some would call a soul sucker- Believe it or not, the realm is lacking in.. flavor. Jewel Saxton 07/16/18 The give-in is what drives it overboard. -shudders at the thought- Stop. You're making me hungry. Jewel Saxton 07/16/18 A bit. Though, I'm a 'take them while they're living' type of girl. The squirming right before defeat really gets me going. Jewel Saxton 07/15/18 Perhaps? I get the scent of rotting corpse with a hint of blood. Jewel Saxton 07/15/18 For someone that smells of death, you're quite attractive. Blood Maw 07/13/18 BM walks up to his old friend. "Sorry I'm late but congrats on gold." Ronan Boru 07/11/18 No I just hear things is all. I am Happy and married myself with little ones. Enjoy your time in leadership. * Smiles a bit.* Atticus Hammond 07/11/18 Mommybae Her name is Charlotte I think. I couldn’t tell you why his name is Big Forrest. No, I am not Little Forrest. You’re Little Forest. Or Short Stack. Atticus Hammond 07/11/18 Mommybae I don’t even remember her name, so... She could be in college already. I wouldn’t know! Ronan Boru 07/11/18 Congrats on the gold, the new Little one and welcome to the cool kids side of the war * Ronan smiles* Atticus Hammond 07/11/18 Mommybae She was about to stick a fork in the garbage disposal. Atticus Hammond 07/06/18 Mommybae [vid rec'd] Missin' you! Mackenzie 07/03/18 Girl, no. Chase Cooper 06/28/18 Oye! Lady! Watch the goods! Camille Hammond just failed at stealing money from you! Atticus Hammond 06/21/18 Wifebae Watermelon seeds. :[ Atticus Hammond 06/21/18 Wifebae I think I'm pregnant. Atticus Hammond 06/14/18 Jokes on you, I don't have a lawyer. Atticus Hammond 06/14/18 100% false. Your only right is to make me a sandwich. Atticus Hammond 06/14/18 Don't objectify me. Dexter Gein 06/14/18 Well, so much for keeping a low profile. Camille 06/11/18 Mackenzie 06/11/18 I didn't miss you. At all. Maya Hall 06/11/18 ~fights the urge to lean away~ ~raises chin indignantly~ ~honestly unsure if this is really happening, or if it's a product of withdrawal~ I'm fine on my own, but thanks for the concern. ~turns on her heel~ ~cradles head in her hand as she's walking away~ Maya Hall 06/11/18 ~arches brow~ Are you trying to convince me or yourself? ~takes hand anyway~ ~firmly shakes, quickly drops~ Pleasure's all... well, nice to... I don't know, thanks? Imogen Moreau 06/11/18 "Dove? That's a new one. But...thank you?" Atticus Hammond 04/04/18 Mommybae My butt isn't THAT big. You're wee, but I think you could climb out. Or I could climb in. Forced to spoon for all eternity! Atticus Hammond 04/03/18 Mommybae You'll learn to love it, I promise! It's perfectly molded to my butt. And you love my butt! Atticus Hammond 04/03/18 Mommybae You wound me, b-a-e. I am devoted! Also. Do I get to bring the recliner with me, yes or yes? Atticus Hammond 04/03/18 Mommybae I know we're married and have a gremlin, but don't you think it's too soon to be moving in together?? Mommybae Just kidding. We're gonna get matching pajamas and SNUGGLE. 😈 Atticus Hammond 04/03/18 Mommybae But what if he eats all of my dove bars again? I NEED my dove bars! Mommybae Does this mean we're full-time roomies? What if you get tired of me?! Atticus Hammond 04/03/18 Mommybae If I asked very, very nicely would Lloyd let me into Arcadia? Or is he gonna do that thing where he pees on my stuff again? Atticus Hammond 03/31/18 Atticus can only smile at the sight of her, grinning even harder when she is safely tucked against him. Despite all of the sh!t he manages to get himself into, he has Camille's presence to ground him. Both her, and a now blissfully sleeping newborn. Who, like Camille, he loves even when she's screaming for no plausible reason. "All for you, Cam-Cam. I figured I'd just take the li'l one off your hands for a few hours. Let you reconfigure." He pulls back then, collecting the bags of groceries and dutifully beginning to store them away properly. "I'm just so damned proud of you. That, and an equal mixture of terror. I have no idea how you managed it physically... There's definitely some images I'll never shake. But I'm in awe of you." Truthfully, Atticus understands why men like his father had stood aside in a waiting room while their wives delivered. Some things just cannot be unseen. But Atticus wouldn't have missed it for anything in the world, nor would he have been willing to shirk his responsibility of being by her side throughout. Yet he feels immensely guilty for all she's endured. So, naturally, he googled the perfect solution. "Anyways, sugar. I ordered you a real diamond-studded tiara. The internet called it a 'push present'. They said it had to be opulent and unreasonably expensive. I thought since the house'll still be about another month... you deserved something more immediate for gratification." He flashes a cheesy grin, ready to offer over a hastily retrieved black velet box. "Every queen needs a crown, after all... figured you might appreciate the thought." Atticus Hammond 03/30/18 Without answering the text, Atticus goes about his errands, grabbing the necessary odds and ends he had stepped out for - and then about a pound of chocolate. When he reenters their little nook in London, he is well equipped to quell all stirs of emotions he had sensed from her text. "Your body isn't broken. Just catastrophically... beautiful." He offers a hesitant smile, arms outstretched to collect his wife in a hug. "I got about twelve different flavors of Ben & Jerry's, and a bag of those egg shaped Reese's. Now we can snuggle alllll you'd like, sugar." If nothing else, Atticus knows he can provide the emotional support she needs, and when that fails, he'll simply ply her with sweets until she goes into a sugar coma. "How does that sound?" Atticus Hammond 03/30/18 Camille Do you... WANT actual moose in it? Atticus Hammond 03/30/18 Wifebae Chocolate or vanilla? Or... moose-tracks?! Lloyd R Darrow 03/25/18 Camille Your friend is driving me f-cking insane. Elouise Warrock 03/22/18 At least I don't look like a whale's prostate. Atticus Hammond 03/21/18 *winces* "That's a very good idea, Cam." *scoops up, possibly throws out back* "Do you still love me?!" *actual panic* Atticus Hammond 03/21/18 "Wait a minute..." *rapid blinking* "Oh god." *tries to gently peel away ice cream* "We're going to go on a little field trip!" Atticus Hammond 03/20/18 -panics- -immediately becomes very southern- "Well now, darlin'. That ain't nothin' I can fix." -coaxing shoulder massage- "I'll fix up the kitchen and go to the grocery store, but why don't I treat you to a nice IHOP date? Mm? Doesn't that sound nice? Anything you want, sugar." -definitely sweating- Caitlyn Darrow 03/18/18 *wails* ”LLOYD BLOCKED MY NUMBER. IS HE GOING TO DIE.” *bawls* Mackenzie 03/17/18 Cam-no It's Irish Day and I still hate you. Atticus Hammond 02/14/18 Wifebae Happy Singles Awareness Day to the nugget in your belly. What a loooooser. I didn't get you roses, but I DID make you a bouquet of chicken nuggets. Let's get lost in the dipping sauce b-a-e. Atticus Hammond 02/11/18 Wifebae Yes, I'm fine... Just can't get comfortable with MMRS in-between the two of us. I've nicknamed the fetus Macho Man Randy Savage. What do you think? Atticus Hammond 02/11/18 Wifebae Can I be the big 🥄 tonight? Tanvir Buckley 02/05/18 Sender: unknown I hear you're delicious. Lloyd R Darrow 01/31/18 "Can't go to Cait like this." He replied gruffly, a hand rubbing against the scruff of his chin. "She's so..." He genuflects, the adjective he intended to use left for Camille to interpret however she wished. His hands then swiped at the tears that had fallen, and his bloodshot eyes then turned upon the angel. "Have you ever loved someone, despite their nature?" He leaned over, hands joined together and fidgeting with each other as he processed his many emotions. "I loved my sister, too much I think. I ignored all of the signs, maybe for neglect or perhaps because I wanted to ignore them.." He cleared his throat, the rising tide of emotions evident as his tone cracked. "She wasn't a good person, Jane. Foul, tempestuous as the sea.. But she had always been mine. I was meant to protect her, always." Another shallow sigh, and he reached for the spilled bottle only to find it disappointingly empty. "You remind me so much of her, you know." And it was true, the resemblance was truly uncanny. "But you would have hated her." And then he laughed, even it was hollow. Lloyd R Darrow 01/30/18 Lloyd was hurting. Not in any way he'd show, but a deep grief and turmoil churned in his heart. And for whatever reason, he'd sought comfort in an uncanny companion. "Camille?" His intonation is slurred by the effects of the Macallan gripped tightly in his fist, the dwindling reserves sloshing around at the bottom of the bottle. He fidgeted with the door handle for a bit, eventually pushing it open and stumbling into the doorway. Not finding her man-child husband in sight, he continues in. It's evident he's been on the bender for a few days now, sweat wreaking of whiskey. His skin is clammy and sweaty, the suit he wore clearly ruined. Black rings circled lifeless green eyes. "Camille??" He grunted her name a second time, afterwards plopping down in a beaten leather chair. The bottle of Macallan drops to the floor, the liquid spilling out onto the carpet beneath it. And then the silent tears came, as he sat in wait of his friend's response. Atticus Hammond 01/28/18 Wifebae I've seen the ultrasounds! That tiny demon is not food. Atticus Hammond 01/28/18 Wifebae Are you STILL pregnant?? Atticus Hammond 01/14/18 Wifebae Seriously?? If that's what you want... No kisses until after you brush your teeth, though. 🐟🙅‍♂️ Atticus Hammond 01/14/18 Wifebae Just as well. No time to tune anything when there's a stuffed crust pizza and a handsome husband waiting for you. Maybe even a cookie cake for dessert if you play your cards right. Atticus Hammond 01/14/18 Wifebae You can tune a piano, but you can't tune a fish. Get it??? I'm a comedian. Lloyd R Darrow 01/14/18 Camille You're telling me you actually like that weasel? Lloyd R Darrow 01/14/18 Camille It's for your own good. He's a nerd. Atticus Hammond 01/12/18 "Have I ever failed to show my pride and appreciation?" He knits his brow together, scrutinizing her as his lips spread in an adoring grin. "You and this bean of ours are the only thing I ever talk about. Ask anyone." It's true, and he's sure she knows it. He might have seemingly more perilous and enthralling tales to spin, but his grandest adventure, in his mind, will always be the family they're to embark on. "I don't just buy anybody chocolate, now. Don't get it twisted, girl." He swoops in for another kiss, eyes crinkling in amusement before he shoots her a wink. "I don't know anybody who has as much to come home to as I do." And, unable to help himself, he embarks on another well-aimed joke. "I mean, in terms of width, I think you've got everyone beat, honey..." He immediately flinches, prepared for a smack. "I'll make it up to you, alright? You can set Zombiecus loose anywhere you please. How's that sound?" Atticus Hammond 01/12/18 As bashful as he can be, Atticus's cheeks fill with crimson color at her honest observation. "Shoulda seen the other guys, though." With the flash of another adoring smile, he nuzzles his stubble cheek against the smoothness of her own. "I could go for a nap." He's never one to express any grievances of pain nor exhaustion, do to admit it has been at least 48 hours since his head has hit a pillow is unlikely. "And how are you?" Instinctive hands drift to her midsection before they slide around to cradle her by her waist. "I feel like I look away for a second and you're ten inches wider." He snickers, a teasing lilt to his southern twang. Mackenzie 01/12/18 Pigeon Catch any new diseases? Atticus Hammond 01/12/18 Atticus spends quite a bit of time out, getting into all sorts of predicaments, but always returning with some sort of grotesque souvenir only Camille could appreciate. Following a particularly brutal tête-à-tête with an ancient cult of cannibalistic necromancers, he's slightly worse for wear than usual. However, he has no returned home empty handed. "Camille, you're never going to believe what happened..." He rambles on about witnessing the cult cannibalize a woman who willingly sacrificed herself, having gone so far as to drink her blood in a silver chalice. "But in the end, they weren't even the real deal! Just a bunch of psychos. And when they realized I didn't belong..." Many more wild hand gestures follow as he literally reenacts the physical altercation (from both perspectives, WITH sound effects). Finally, he stops, catching sight of his wife as he enters their space further. "Hey, chick." He wanders over, gray eyes lighting up just from her presence. "I brought you all of their toes. Oh! And chocolate." He flashes that lopsided smile of his before leaning in to place a peck on her lips. "You look beautiful." Caitlyn Darrow 01/10/18 *shrieks* SORRY CAMI! I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY SISTER IN LAW. I LOVE YOU. *looks around cautiously* If I slip you an extra fiddy could you buy me some green popcorn? Lloyd R Darrow 01/09/18 Camille I'm not warm and fuzzy. That's what you're for. Husband #2. Lloyd R Darrow 01/09/18 Camille Just because you're 2 feet tall and 4 feet wide doesn't mean you get to make every other pregnant woman self-loathing. Lloyd R Darrow 01/09/18 Camille For the love of Christ, if you don't stop putting insane pregnancy conspiracy theories in Caitlyn's head I'm going to kick your fat ass. Atticus Hammond 12/10/17 Wifebae What do you want for Christmas? What does the nugget want for Christmas? Does it send you subliminal messages? Atticus Hammond 11/25/17 Wifebae Honey, where's my supersuit? Atticus Hammond 11/12/17 Wifebae I don't like London. The Eiffel Tower here is fake as fvck. Caitlyn Darrow 11/11/17 *blinks slowly* THAT'SRIGHTOMGLOVEYOU *bouncy squeals* ITS NOT FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS. DO YOU WANT TEA NOW? Caitlyn Darrow 11/11/17 *girlish squeal* *soft tackles, clings* NEVERLEAVEMEAGAINOMG Lloyd R Darrow 11/10/17 -twitches- Oh, no, I'm.. -tries to pat- -is not warm and fuzzy- I don't know how to comfort people when they cry. I've never done it before. Lloyd R Darrow 11/10/17 CAITLYN IS MINE. Lloyd R Darrow 11/10/17 WHO THE F-CK LET YOU IN HERE. Atticus Hammond 11/10/17 Wifebae Deal. Let's s(ex)hake on it. Atticus Hammond 11/10/17 Wifebae I'll stop hiding the left-over Halloween candy if you stop hiding my Hotwheels. Atticus Hammond 11/01/17 Wifebae In my... pants.......? ;] Atticus Hammond 10/31/17 Wifebae Happy Halloween! Chaos and mischief is far more romantic than Valentine's Day, anyway. Lloyd R Darrow 10/25/17 You smell like a junkyard jamboree. Atticus Hammond 10/23/17 Wifebae Maybe I do, maybe I don't. Why? Do you want a muffin? .. would you like that muffin buttered? Nate Mishal 10/21/17 "Michael?" he blurts, near venomous in his tone. "I don't give a flying f*ck about Michael. Michael can f*cking rot for all I care. I wiped my hands of him long ago." And that was it, he decided. He was done with her, done with the conversation, done with the moment. So he simply turned his back to her and walked off. But he only managed ten feet or so before he was turning to talk back toward her, determination in every step as he raised a finger to point toward her face, the tip mere millimetres from her nose. "Gabriel started this, he put the wheels in motion. But it was Him, that f*cking *******, that...that...our f*cking 'Lord' who tore my wings from me and sent me down here. My f*cking father. The creator who brought me into existence allowed himself to be manipulated when all I wanted to do was save the likes of YOU." The last word spat from his mouth, his pointed finger stiff, thrust once more in her direction. And in that moment, his anger for everything he'd done, and for the injustice of it all, had taken the form of a slight blonde stood before him. A few warm tears rolled down his face, but unaccustomed to them, he completely ignored their presence, unaware of how they ran tracks across his skin. He wouldn't notice till later, when his eyes began to sting and his fingertips felt wet to the touch of his cheeks. They were tears of anger, of frustration, and they didn't cause his breathing to jut, nor his chest to ache. They simply existed. "I'm here because I tried to make a difference. And now the only difference is that I'm banished and the ones I actually cared about are suffering and I can't do a damn f*cking thing to help him - them. Help them...I can't help them. You don't get it, you'll never understand." he continues, his tone dropping, softening in defeat. "I just wanted to fix it. For the first time, I wanted to actually make a difference not because these f*cking mortal f*cks prayed for it but because I saw something wrong and wanted to fix it. And now...I'm f*cking...here." Atticus Hammond 10/21/17 Wifebae Do you know the muffin man? Nate Mishal 10/21/17 "Of course I know who you f*cking are!" he replies, the laugher back, the smile broad across his face once more. He's given in to the irony of the moment, to the fact that, of all the people he would meet on earth, she was here." "You haven't asked why an Arch obviously banished to earth. Not once. Why Gabriel, one of my own, would have me sent down here. F*cking...ugh...f*cking...f*cking..." Nate waved his hands in the air, searching for words. But the words didn't seem to exist. Not one. The Archangel Nathaniel. The one they all prayed to for success, for the inspiration and momentum to succeed. Mortals never understood his purpose. They used him over and over again until one day he just turned off, just stopped listening, and instead decided to focus his attention and time on what he wanted to do, what he needed to do. Like stupidly fix the inconsistent, bullsh!t nature of his fellow Archangels. He should have just stuck to bowing to the pathetic pleading of skin bags and not tried to help his own. The one time he tried to make a true change. And now Sandalphon was all but dead, the war was worse than ever before and here he was with a f*cking fallen Guardian. Finally he shrugged, gave in and tugged at the denim at his thigh, feeling the weight of the material pull at the belt about his waist." **** it, you're right...us Archangels and our God complexes. Exactly." Nate Mishal 10/21/17 Realisation dawns so hard on Nate's face that his jaw literally drops. He watches her, silent, for far too long before finally bringing his lips back together again. They're dry and he makes the effort to wet them with his tongue before speaking. "You're a Guardian?" he manages to say, though the works mumble from his lips, caught in his throat. "You are a F*CKING GUARDIAN!" he repeats, this time laughing as he does so. He presses his palm to his forehead and 'wooooos' as he spins on his heel in a full circle. "I fall all the way to earth and the first angel I meet is a f*cking Guardian. OF COURSE!" He looks up to the clouds once more and claps his hands, calling to the sky. "F*CK YOU TOO!" he calls to the Heavens. And as he drops his head, balling his hands up before his chest, he repeats the words, albeit with less power, less anger than before. "Jesus f*cking Christ." Nate Mishal 10/21/17 Nate laughs. In his oversized clothing stolen from the wrong person in the wrong place, he looks pathetic AF. But his face is alive with a thickening plot and the realisation that she's exactly what he expected her to be. A p!ssed off angel, fallen from grace. "Yeah, yeah. Good luck. But before you f*ck off and leave me WHICH, by the way, I think is an absurd idea, just tell me...how'd you piss him off? Gabriel. What the f*ck did you do to end up down here?" Nate Mishal 10/21/17 Nate stares almost blankly at her. Busy processing her words, he's also still so overcome by the banishment that he's struggling to keep his thoughts in order. "I liked it up there." he finally murmurs before taking a heavy breath and puffing his chest. He lets the air out slowly, forcing back a smile. "Just because I'm forced to be on this sh!t tip of a planet doesn't mean I have to like it. Maybe you've found peace as what you are but it doesn't mean I have to be. I'm a f*cking Archangel. I matter. Mortals on this earth worship my kind. I just need to figure out how to take advantage of it." Nate Mishal 10/21/17 "They're never going to let me back." he mutters, sucking at his fingertips before looking back up at her. Whatever jokey attitude had previously occupied his personality was now gone, replaced with something far more pathetic and blue. "This wasn't a 'go and learn to be better' type of deal. This was a 'we've had enough of you, get out' banishment. But I don't know how to be anything other than an Arch. And this body is making me feel sooooo goddamn pointless." He sighs. "...and my wings." He knew he didn't need to say anything else. Nate Mishal 10/21/17 As she shakes him, Nate managed to bite his tongue, bringing an end to his verbal panic. The taste of blood is foreign, as is the tongue itself, and he stops, sticking it out to dab red spots upon the tips of his fingers. "I don't know how you cope..." he mumbles, his attention drawn to the saliva-mixed blood as it beads down his index finger, forking off at his knuckle to dribble down his hand. It's kinda gross. "...having a body." Nate Mishal 10/20/17 "See! Exactly. They're so f*cking hideous with their skin and flesh and blood and..." he shudders, clearly repulsed. "...and thei, my f*cking god, doesn't this heartbeat just get on your nerves? Thump, thump, thump, all the livelong day. I've only been here for the morning and it's already more than I can bear. I can't take it. How the hell are you coping?" Nate starts to feel anxious, a new sensation that he's never felt before. In fact, he doesn't even know what anxiousness feels like to know that's what he's feeling. But he can feel his skin crawl and sweat, and a lump begin to form in his throat. He looks at her and for the first time, his eyes show some sort of sadness. He's never known sadness in his life yet the body he now inhabits seems more than capable of portraying the emotion nevertheless. "I just want to go home. I'm not made for this. But they won't let me back. I've been asking all morning and no one is listening to me. I F*CKING HATE THIS F*CKING PIECE OF SH!T PLACE!" Emotions.f*cking.everywhere. Nate Mishal 10/20/17 “F*ck it. I knew he’d be a d!ck. That f*cking b*stard.” Nate frowns, ruffling his hair with frustration, pulling at a bunch of strands in an awkward attempt to look at them. “I didn’t steal it from anyone. They didn’t give me a f*cking choice. Unlike the rest of you, I just…boom…on this godforsaken rock in this f*cking body. Tell me…it’s hideous, isn’t it? I’m in a f*cking child’s body. Yours is fine. Did you get to pick yours at least? Well…you know what I mean by ‘pick’.” Nate Mishal 10/20/17 There we go. She's lightening up finally. He knew it wouldn't take long. How could anyone resist? This planet was 99.9% ar$eholes and idiots but he knew there were a few of his own kind down here. He'd heard the rumours. The threats from up high. 'Piss him off' they'd warn 'and he'll send you to earth' as if it was some sort of bedtime story told to naught children. "Well no, WE know we're not forgiving. But the suckers down here don't know squat. I mean, some of them still f*cking pray to Him as if he can do a damn thing about their pathetic problems. 'Oh God, please help, I can't seem to shift the last few pounds. Oh Holy Jesus, help me find love, everyone keeps swiping left'...or is it right? Which direction is for the fuglies?" He waved a hand dismissively. "Regardless...wait, what was I talking about?" Nate frowned, deep in concentration. He never listened. It was a flaw. One of many. But light a spark of a flame, it came back to him. "Nathaniel. Mmhmm. Yes, I know, this body is a little different from up there. It feels awfully young. Is it? I haven't found a mirror yet." Nate Mishal 10/20/17 "Oooooh...oh oh oh" he chuckles as his body thumps against the wall. She's strong for such a little thing. Feisty too. Thank f*ck. Nate looks down at her slender fingers as they grip the fabric of his t-shirt. When he'd 'landed' on earth, he'd been buck naked. He'd had to mug some freak for his clothing and as a result, he was wearing some ridiculous band t-shirt. Whatever a Slipnot was, he wasn't a fan. The design was ridiculous and the fit all wrong. But hell, he'd only been on land for a few hours so it wasn't sooooo bad. Besides, he'd found this plunky thing. And from the looks of it, she was more than met the eye. "Not Gabriel then." he chuckled as she let him go. Brushing off his shirt out of principle, he pulled up at the belt of his jeans. The now-naked kid had been a few sizes bigger and with every movement, the jeans threatened to slip over his waist to the ground. "Everyone is so f*cking cliquey up there and what, you're not the same? Some lone wolf unable to give one of your own the time of day? Jeeeeez, and they say our kind are all forgiving." Everything is said with a smile, as if he'd telling some long-winded joke thats punchline is causing him to chuckle before he's even reached it. "Just gonna tell me to f*ck off and let me fend for myself? So much for the welcome party! I know this place is a f*cking punishment but I assumed someone would be able to help a brother out. What's it The Son always says? Do unto others how something yourself...something...be nice? I never f*cking listened." Nate Mishal 10/19/17 "Oh hun, c'mon. We both know that nobody chooses to come down here on their own merit. Earth is a f*cking sh!t show. If you're down here, you must have p!ssed someone off. So tell me...was it Gabriel? Mine was Gabriel, that jerk. I bet it was Gabriel." Nate Mishal 10/19/17 Thank ****, another Angel. What you in for? Lloyd R Darrow 10/18/17 Camille What the hell did you let Caitlyn do? Caitlyn Darrow 10/17/17 Between her heart wrenched sobs and the shriek, it was hard for her to even remotely try to connect them to words. Finally she does, and tries to slow her breath. Instead she blubbers onward to try to talk to Camille on the other line. But Camille is yelling at her. So, this causes her to dive deeper into her hysteria. It's no fault of the her angelic friend. She drops the phone and manages between the musical chords of wailing to finally form one sentence. "I..I..*sniffle* killed *gulps* him." Atticus Hammond 10/17/17 Wifebae {image attached} I got you a #1 Wife sign! Atticus Hammond 10/16/17 "I'm obviously up to no good." He grins, bloody hands thrown into the air in exclamation. The smile he bears at her entrance is written all over his expression, to the goofy, lopsided grin, and gleaming gray eyes. "You asked for a heart, so.." He lifts up the decorated jar, beaming with absolute pride in his accomplishment. "What do you think?" His clothes are practically a smock of the same blood - he'd budgeted no time for cleaning himself up. Still he is standing before her, promising a night of romance. "I can go wash up, if you want." He offers earnestly, foot sheepishly scuffing the floor. "I was just trying to be romantic. Success?" Atticus Hammond 10/16/17 Atticus has spent all day making the trailer as romantic as possible. It may have once been a man's space, but since Camille had come into his life, her influence has spread like weeds through a garden. The colors of the carpets match the drapes (get your mind out of the gutter), and the bedding all seemed to come from the same set. After cleaning up the array of strange odds and ends he kept cluttering every possible surface, the real work began. He spent all day hunting the perfect victim - ensuring they would be the perfect candidate. Atticus is normally above violence, but not for this gift. And when all is said and done - her corpse is without a heart, and Atticus how has a present fit for his bride. He plucks it in a jar of embalming fluids - going so far as to decorate the container with tissue paper and hearts. Every surface is now covered in candles - two champagne flutes accompanied by a bottle of sparkling cider (because bean), and he hasn't bothered to wash the blood from his body. He knows, at the end of the day, Camille likes a little bit of chaos with her romance. And there is nothing more romantic than a heart. Now, he only needs to wait for her to return home. Caitlyn Darrow 10/15/17 The blood wiped across her face as she put the receiver of the phone to her lips. It caused her to gag openly and hyperventilate. She could barely hold onto the phone itself, as the beast inside her leisured in the back of her mind. Tears started to cascade down her cheeks. Lloyd was unreachable. There's only one person that could answer her call. Camille. Trembling hands clutched the phone as she listens to the ringing. She's trying to calm herself down by the Lamaze breathing exercises she learned. If Camille were to answer on the other line she would only hear high pitch shrieking. There were simply no words she could utter. Caitlyn Darrow 10/15/17 Cami YES! YOU'RE SO SMART. Caitlyn Darrow 10/15/17 Cami Lloyd isn't home. I'm going for free food...What if the boys start trying to AA me? Caitlyn Darrow 10/15/17 Cami Oh! I should go to a meet. Come with meeeeee. Caitlyn Darrow 10/15/17 Cami What is an AA meeting? Atticus Hammond 10/12/17 Wifebae I'm having trouble with my short-term memory. Would you mind showing me an example of what you're referring to right now? Atticus Hammond 10/12/17 Wifebae That's not a very nice thing to say to the man who just made dough from scratch for these annoying little bagels! 😐 So under-appreciated, I am.. Atticus Hammond 10/12/17 Wifebae Depends on what 'throwing down' entails. ;] Atticus Hammond 10/12/17 Wifebae I have a plate of home-made mini pizza bagels waiting for you. Come snuggle, b-a-e. 😍 Atticus Hammond 10/12/17 Wifebae Oh, nothing. I just wanted to say I love you. :] Atticus Hammond 10/12/17 Wifebae Babe. Wifebae Baaaaaabe. Wifebae BABE. Wifebae CAM. 911. Elis Griffyn 10/11/17 His hair was getting too long, he realised as yet another few strands fell across his face. With an upward puff of breath, he attempted, and failed, to send them back home. Both hands were full and finally, with a shrug, he gave up and let the auburn locks fall where they pleased. Finally he saw her. The little angelic glow worm. She was hard to miss, even when her glow was but a flicker, a warmth and nothing more. Approaching her, and without a word, he swung the two sacks from over his shoulders to let them thumb with a squish at her feet. Brown, hessian, and thoroughly bloodstained, each back contained a ridiculous amount of human toes. Silent, Elis smiled, nodded once and walked away. Atticus Hammond 10/09/17 Atticus sits in his beanbag chair, mess of yarn strewn out all around him as he attempts to knit. He's no talent for it, but damnit, he's trying. When Camille's familiar footsteps and voice reach his ears, Atticus is already flustered, tangling himself further in the web of yarn. "Hey, babe! In here!" He replies, trying to stand. His smile falters at the sight of blood, gray eyes wide with panic. "Did you murder someone?!" He trips over the yarn, just a total mess before he disentangles himself. The knitting needles fall to the ground with a 'clang'. "Where's the body? I'll bury it." Because he's a good husband. Atticus Hammond 10/06/17 Wifebae Come home. I think we need to talk. Atticus Hammond 10/03/17 Wifebae Don't send me a sad face! I love you too. It's forever implied. Atticus Hammond 10/03/17 Wifebae Uh-oh. What did you break? Atticus Hammond 09/30/17 -rolls over on- -squishes- "If we get eaten, it's on you!" -coils around- "Do you think the bean has dreams when he sleeps? Do you think he'll be an astronaut? What if he's a space cowboy?!" Atticus Hammond 09/27/17 -scoops up- -cradles like a baby- "If there's two beans, we'll each take one. Divide and conquer, baby. We GOT dis. Look at us? We're attractive, intelligent and hard-working. We have nothing to worry about!" Elis Griffyn 09/25/17 Elis sighs to her words, dampening his lips as c*cks his head to study her face. She glowed. She always glowed. And he wondered for a moment what that must be like, to be such a beacon to all those who walk the slightly less mortal side of life. Elis, in comparison, passed for a mortal by default. Nothing about him screamed anything other than human. He walked in the sun, he ate, he had a heartbeat, he broke a sweat. Those who knew of his condition knew only because he told them, and even then he never told the full story, not of his history, nor of his involvement in, well, all of this. Tightening his grip about the blade, he looked down to his hand and then past it to his own feet. Could he not simply give her his own? They’d grow back after all. But how much did she know about him? Lopping off each pinky would definitely give himself away and he didn’t trust Camille in the slightest, most definitely not with his secrets. Gritting his teeth, Elis leaned in until their noses were near touching. He met her eyes, narrowing them as he spoke slowly. “I’ll give you what you want”, he said. “But next time you decide you need this done, you find some other way of calling home, alright?” Elis Griffyn 09/25/17 Elis faced somewhat of a moral dilemma...ish. Well, not exactly a moral dilemma. I mean, he hardly knew the angel. And why did he care whether or not she could call home, so to speak? He didn't. Not at all. But one way or another, it was clear she'd be doing this, regardless of whether Elis helped or not. And there was a mad glint in her eye that suggested her way would be a lot more bloody and, well, less considerate, than if, say, Elis did it. He looked back down to the whimpering mess of man on the floor and frowned. Aside from the recent wars, Elis hadn't killed anyone in a few hundred years. And in truth, he wasn't sure he'd killed anyone in the wars. He'd always aimed to maim, not murder, and hoped the act was enough to get the foe sent home and out of the war. He didn't like killing people - in part because it made him feel no different from Vlad and the others. And also because the scent of fresh blood still hit him, even now, even after all these thousands of years. could he guarantee that Camille would allow the man to live beyond this point? No. And that somewhat made up his mind for him. With an 'ugh', he reached for his Swiss and sighed. "How many?" Elis Griffyn 09/25/17 "Wait...what?" Elis took the few steps forward needed to reach the angel, fitting himself in between the body on the floor and the blade in her hand. "You need his toes for that?", he exclaimed, eyebrows raised and he let out somewhat of a chuckle. "Jesus Christ, woman. Now I think I've seen it all. You want toes? Fine. But can't you just, y'know, lop them off a corpse?" Elis Griffyn 09/25/17 "That's a...umm...hmmmm." Elis' brow knitted as he bit down on his bottom lip. Looking from the Angel to the gagged man at his feet. "What exactly do you need from him? And, errr...why?" Elis Griffyn 09/23/17 Elis produces a Swiss Army Knife and shrugs Lead the way. BRING ME THE BLOOD! ETC ETC Elis Griffyn 09/23/17 YES! YES! YES! YES! ANYTHING! YES! Elis Griffyn 09/23/17 Elis grins "On a scale of one to ten, I'm bored AF! Entertain me!" Elis Griffyn 09/23/17 Elis looks at Camille, then to the audience, then back to Camille. He rolls his eyes, turns back to the audience a second time and as an aside, despairs "Women!" The audience erupt into fits of laughter, the camera pans out and the music plays once more. Credits roll. Elis Griffyn 09/23/17 Elis snatches back the diary and looks at the photo "Well I mean sure, they're a little hairy...and wrinkly...and one is somewhat bigger than the other...but it's nature. And nature is beautiful, regardless of the subject." The camera moves as Elis turns the photo to the audience. A pair of misshapen nectarines are displayed in an antique fruit bowl. The audience laugh. Elis shrugs with a jaunty smile. Music plays out. Elis Griffyn 09/23/17 'Dear Diary. Camille physically assaulted me today. I know I should tell someone but I'm feeling really self-conscious right now and I just...do you ever just want people to like you so much that you're willing to let them...oh, I dunno, diary. I just want her to be my friend. I want all of them to be my friends. I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school... I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy...' Elis Griffyn 09/23/17 *drapes himself over your comments section and lets out a long drawn-out sigh* woe is me! Atticus Hammond 09/23/17 Atticus Hammond 09/23/17 Wifebae It'll be a big, biiiiiig bed. Atticus Hammond 09/23/17 Wifebae You mean they can't sleep with us?? 😞 Atticus Hammond 09/23/17 Wifebae I'm a man! I can handle it all! Atticus Hammond 09/22/17 Wifebae Can we get a puppy? Or like, six puppies? So they can all be friends? Elis Griffyn 09/21/17 Sorry, not sorry. Someone with a much nicer ass came along and rinsed my wallet before you. Atticus Hammond 09/21/17 "Is that why I got all of those looks at the grocery store?! I was just trying to get you more Eggo waffles." -pouts- "It's not my fault this butt could cause a war, babe! Honest." Atticus Hammond 09/21/17 -slides into room- "See what I mean? So much butt!" -wiggles for emphasis- "Don't get too handsy with my goods, now. You'll spoil my plans for dessert." -winks- Atticus Hammond 09/21/17 Wifebae I don't think you, me, and my butt can all fit in the same room! Atticus Hammond 09/21/17 Wifebae Do these pants make my butt look big? Atticus Hammond 09/19/17 Wifebae At least I'm a handsome zombie? :] Atticus Hammond 09/18/17 Wifebae {video loading} Spaghetti for dinner? ;] Atticus Hammond 09/18/17 Wifebae I'm not calling you a rat! He's wee, but mighty. And determined to get the pizza. Just like you! .. Did I just dig myself into a hole? Atticus Hammond 09/18/17 Wifebae Have you seen the pizza rat video? Atticus Hammond 09/17/17 Wifebae {video attached} I found your spirit dog! Atticus Hammond 09/16/17 "Double burrito for my wife, side of bean." -grins- "You get all of the snuggles, anyways." -bops her nose- "I think you need a Snickers, sugar." Atticus Hammond 09/16/17 "I know! It's all my fault!" -wraps limbs around monster- -tender lil smooch- "How about we stop thinking about the monster bean for a little while, okay? I'll give you a massage, and MAYBE even tuck you into a burrito blanket tonight." Atticus Hammond 09/16/17 "What?! Don't read scary stories!" -snatches book away- "What to expect when you're expecting... Camille!" -pulls wife into hug- "The bean is NOT swimming around in there. It's just comparing sizes. Promise! ... Want some ice cream?" Atticus Hammond 09/15/17 Wifebae ... 25 weeks. Atticus Hammond 09/13/17 You can wrap me in your arms anytime... As long as there's a side of guac. Atticus Hammond 09/12/17 The excitement, however brief, slips away like steam from a boiling pot. There's a clear disappointment to his body language when she pulls away, and Atticus, for his part, still reaches to pull her back - but she's just out of reach by the time he reacts. "Camille, come on now." He hushes, standing up in turn. Her reaction leaves him feeling helpless, and wholly responsible for her panic, for her unrest, for all of this. "I'm sorry, okay? I don't know what you want me to say to fix this, baby." His head hangs, hands gripping his waist as he awaits some sort of verbal lashing. It's in his nature to retreat at the first sign of trouble, or, in this case, to resign to defeat, and allow the blame to fall onto his shoulders. When she grabs her coat, he doesn't react right away. He watches her hand turn the knob, and finally, he looks up and pipes up. "Need some air, or need some space from me?" He asks with a degree of hurt in his voice, feet carrying him over to her, even if she pulls away. "If I had the magic words to fix this, you know I'd offer them. The last thing I want is for you to be upset, Camille. But I'm here, trying to understand it, just like you. But we can... We can make it work. Okay?" His hands find her wrist, the other one attempting to gently pry the coat from her fist. "I'm freaking out too. The last thing I expected..." He squints, a terse breath leaving his lips. "We're already married, we have the means... We can handle this. So what if we ruin the kid? There are plenty of serial killers out there. Who knows if it's nature or nurture, right? We'll be fine. You and me? We'll be fine." Without hesitation, he leans in to press an earnest kiss to her lips. "I love you. That's never going to change. Not even when you get fat, and you don't love me anymore. Scout's Honor, babe." Atticus Hammond 09/12/17 Her urgency leaves him unsettled, fumbled words doing nothing to ease his mind from worry. Nevertheless, he holds Camille against his body, hushed words of comfort slipping through heavy breaths as he keys into her tone, the message unfolding becoming clearer and clearer. Until, his breath hitches, and, since he isn't a student man, he makes the clear assumption. His mind is reeling with revelation that she is attempting to make abundantly clear to him. He sputters, nothing coherent parting from his lips. Gray eyes are wide with shock, though, if he's being honest... There's absolute cause and reason to be able to make such an assumption. He just doesn't want to admit it to himself, or to her. "Oh... 'Kay." He replied slowly, still struggling to find sound in his throat. He squeezes his eyes shut, desperate to organize his thoughts. To say the right thing. To make her feel safe, comforted, and loved. In such a pivotal moment, words mean so much more. "It only matters what you want. My feelings, what I believe... They don't matter, understand? It's about you, right now. Your body." His words are achingly sincere, each word emphasized. He draws back as he speaks, wanting that to be clear as his gaze tracks hers. "And don't think of retorting with 'of course it does', sugar. Because I will happily, willingly, and lovingly support you, regardless of what you choose. Understand?" His intonation takes on the Southern twang it often does when he scolds, but there's a bright, enigmatic smile consuming his face. Excitement, pure and unadulterated. Fear of the unknown, of course. But, if he's followed her correctly, and hasn't just made an utter fool of himself... He knows if Camille is there, nothing can be THAT bad. Atticus Hammond 09/12/17 Atticus brow creases in worry as he climbs up onto the bed, taking both of her hands and pulling them into his hold. He clears his throat, eyes half-lidded as he scruntinizes her appearance. She doesn't seem ill, which only increases the worry that swells in his otherwise hollow feeling chest. Frankly, the idea of Camille feeling at all unwell leaves Atticus feeling nauseous, as if his subconscious sympathizes with her current position. His hands peel back from hers, instead nicely to neatly tuck wayward strands of hair behind her ears, lips pressing a reassuring kiss against her cold-feeling forehead. "You know you can tell me anything, Camille." He assures with complete sincerity. He takes the time to pull her up against his chest, providing the sort of physical contact and comfort he senses she needs. And, in complete honesty, he relishes in the feeling as well. "Is it something serious?" He attempts a serious tone, still tempered with a smooth affection that never seems to fade when addressing her. "You have my name, which means you'll always have me. Whatever it is, just tell me. I'm all ears." Atticus Hammond 09/12/17 Atticus can't place the root of his unrest. And when he can't, he follows his mother's advice, and assumes he's only hungry. He takes his walk, wandering along the lines his phone's GPS dictates until he reaches the nearest Golden Arches. The trip is clearly more for Camille than himself, as he graciously ensures his wife will receive a box of 20 McNuggets, all the sauces included. After eating a cheeseburger, the man realizes that, perhaps he doesn't know why he's upset, because he isn't upset at all. It's a ridiculous realization, but the man has never been anything short of that. With a casual whistle, he know makes his way down the hall, greasy paper McDonalds bag gripped in a fist. He falls silent, however, after ascending the final staircase that leads to the room he and Camille share. He isn't sure if she'll be sleeping, so he pushes the door open gingerly, kicking his shoes off in the process. "Hey, honey." He immediately exudes a warmth with her presence in such proximity, not having yet examined her concerning body language yet. "I got you a snack, with all of the fixin's." Placing the bag on the counter, he slides over in stocking feet to almost tackle her over. Instead, he falters and stops short at the sheer sight of her concern, flopping onto his behind with a grunt. "What's wrong, Cam? Is it me? I didn't meant to be rude earlier." He crawls up into his knees, pressing against the edge of the bed as he peers up at her, much like a dog begging for a treat. Caitlyn Darrow 09/12/17 [Facetime Call 1:59] " It's weird not being by you with my squeaky toy...I buried all my toys in the backyard. The boys miss you! They're asleep now. Anything exciting happen?" Elouise Warrock 09/12/17 Did you at least wipe it off first?! -hovers- Oh, two blue lines... That's... -checks box- Camille, just, y'know, breathe. Because you're so pregnant. Ohemgee. OHEMGEE. Elouise Warrock 09/12/17 -leans on door frame- Because you're a cheap b*tch, doy. -toothy grin- So, what's the verdict? Are you p to the r the...you get the point. Elouise Warrock 09/12/17 Shut up, at least I'm not pregnant! -cackles- Don't get pee everywhere, either. That's my bathroom... -grumbles- Elouise Warrock 09/12/17 -soft laugh- How charming, you are. What a lucky husband you have, that has to put up with this for nine months. Ohemgee. He's going to kill himself! -prances off, returns with stick- I always have like a dozen handy. Don't really need them anymore. They were super useful when Jameson and I were doing the nasty. Caitlyn Darrow 09/12/17 [Ongoing FaceTime] "Cami! I miss you too. It's okay. How is Bloem?" Elouise Warrock 09/12/17 -stares- I'm going to tell him. Right now. -zero bullsh*t- You have ten seconds to be proactive or I'll overstep my boundaries all over again! Elouise Warrock 09/12/17 GOPEEONASTICK OR I'MTELLINGYOURHUSBAND. -huffs- Elouise Warrock 09/11/17 He's a loser, but I think he may genuinely love you. Like Jameson, because he became an undead piece of ass cancer. -pats- Why not just tell him? Worse thing that happens is I have to raise your sh*tty little sh*t baby. Elouise Warrock 09/11/17 I thought the same, and the awkward part about that is, the baby just gets bigger and ruder. -squints- Why?! Did he say he'd leave you? I'll kick his scrawny ass! Where is he?! Elouise Warrock 09/11/17 -more laughter- I was trying to take the subtle, gentle approach. But, you don't understand metaphors. So. -squints- I think you should go pee on a stick. I mean...would you just take a pregnancy test?! I can't tell if you're crazy or not. Elouise Warrock 09/11/17 -little scoff- I meant condoms, but, clearly, uh, you don't. -gentle shoulder tap- Maybe we should go to the drugstore, Camille. Elouise Warrock 09/11/17 -stares at hungry and hormonal friend- So, Cami... -has to keep a straight face- Do you and Atticus use protection...? -gigglesnorts- Elouise Warrock 09/11/17 -blank stare- No, we can't go to London. We have a Logan to protect, Camille. Are you high?! -checks pupils- No...what's the deal!? Elouise Warrock 09/11/17 -blinks- I always have ice cream. And Cheetos. And Rice Krispie Treats. -ushers into room- You can have all of it, as long as you promise not to eat me. Elouise Warrock 09/11/17 -follows wing like Garfield- Camille. Are you going to share? Atticus Hammond 09/11/17 "I'm not disappointed, Cam. Not in the least." -leans over, kisses her forehead- "I'm going to go for a walk, okay? I'll be back later. We can make fajitas." -faint smile, wanders off- Atticus Hammond 09/11/17 -huffs- "That's all?" -lifts off wee wife- -dusts self off- "Cool." -mildly disappointed- Atticus Hammond 09/11/17 -wide eyes- -stroke like indicators- "Camille. Don't kid." -so many fixed feelings- "Just tell me." Atticus Hammond 09/11/17 "I don't know what I want! That's the honest truth." -poutiest of pouts- "It doesn't matter in the least, what I want, darlin'. It is, at the end of the day, YOUR body. So let's just let it go!" -clings to- "You're not allowed to leave me, woman!" Atticus Hammond 09/11/17 -sincere panic- -tries to escape, fails- "Sugar, why are you SO strong?!" -draaaawls- "I don't know. What do YOU want??" Atticus Hammond 09/11/17 Wifebae What if I'm super persuasive? :[ It's okay. Lavender is good enough. I DON'T NEED A LEGACY. Atticus Hammond 09/11/17 Wifebae I'll fatten you up. And then you'll be ready for tons and tons of babies. Isn't that great? Atticus Hammond 09/11/17 Wifebae Why?! Are you going to eat me?! Atticus Hammond 09/11/17 Wifebae Prove... It? Atticus Hammond 09/11/17 Wifebae I don't know!! Children are gross. And sooo needy. And you'd split like a pea! Atticus Hammond 09/11/17 Wifebae 'Ughhhhhh' to what? Elouise? Or to baby-making?! Atticus Hammond 09/11/17 {Fwd to Wifebae} Atticus My child is my hobby. Yours should be getting your wife to 'put out and pop out' as the tabloids say. Atticus Hammond 09/11/17 -scoops up wee wife- "We're having our own Christmas. Just you, me, and Michael Bublé!" -forehead kiss- "Don't worry. I won't let her cook you." Atticus Hammond 09/11/17 -whines- "She's evil! What did you do to make her angry?!" -nuzzles, so desperate- "What if she tried to eat me? She looked so hungry!" Atticus Hammond 09/10/17 -so much panic- "She tried to kidnap me! She tugged on my EAR!" -clings to wife- "Never let me out of your sight again!" Atticus Hammond 09/10/17 Wifebae I plead the fifth! Atticus Hammond 09/10/17 Wifebae ... Babies can't have beer?? 😳 Atticus Hammond 09/10/17 Wifebae I get to keep him for Sunday night football? 😇 Atticus Hammond 09/10/17 Wifebae I'm not sad. I'M. FINE. Atticus Hammond 09/10/17 Wifebae I'll go give Logan back. I certainly wouldn't want to make you or Lavender jealous.😒 Atticus Hammond 09/10/17 Wifebae You get me. So glad we're on the same page. Do I get to keep Atticus Jr. if you kill her? Elouise Warrock 09/09/17 Camille Your husband won't give me my son. Omfg. Atticus Hammond 09/09/17 Wifebae I told you I'd build you a house, and I'm going to do it. I'll let you hammer in a few nails, though. You're supposed to sit back and relax, sugar butt. Atticus Hammond 09/09/17 Wifebae But you were married to a woman, weren't you? I get it. You're Atticus-sexual. ;] A man's job is at the grill, thank you. And I'll teach you momma's recipe for sweet tea. You don't have to do anything but put your feet up and look as cute as you always do. 😘 Atticus Hammond 09/09/17 Wifebae 😍 We can change that, if you want. My work-wives want to go out. And by go out, I mean camp on the Charleston property. I'm going to make them help me build the house. Lesbians are good for that, right? You're a former lesbian. Do you have any insight? Atticus Hammond 09/09/17 Wifebae How do you feel about double-dates? Atticus Hammond 09/08/17 Wifebae What kind of puppy?? Atticus Hammond 09/08/17 Wifebae If you need me, I'll be eating my feelings. :( Atticus Hammond 09/08/17 Wifebae We are adopting this child. He will be my prodigy. I can dress him up like a tiny archaeologist. Atticus Hammond 09/08/17 Wifebae Really? Because I've been discussing the Paleolithic Period for like three hours now... Atticus Hammond 09/08/17 Cam-Cam Not promising to keep your blood pressure level ALL of the time. ;) Wait... Can I flirt in front of a baby?? Is that unethical? Atticus Hammond 09/08/17 Camille I won't let anything happen to Atticus Jr.** And Lavender doesn't like football. He likes futbol. There's a different. Are you okay? Anything I can do to help? Atticus Hammond 09/08/17 Wifebae Who am I going to watch Football with?? You ask too many questions! Atticus Jr. just sits there and gurgles like me. Atticus Hammond 09/08/17 Wifebae Does this mean I have to give Atticus Jr. back?? Yes, I renamed the baby. Elouise Warrock 09/08/17 Camille I don't want to put any of your other members in the middle of this. But I'll do what you think is best. I trust you. Atticus Hammond 09/08/17 Group-Chat: Wifebae; Herpes Atticus has left the Group-Chat. Elouise Warrock 09/08/17 Groupchat: Atticus, Camille Jameson is looking for him. I'm coming home, and I'm moving him somewhere else. He simply can't have him. It's not an option. Elouise Warrock 09/08/17 Groupchat: Atticus; Camille Is my baby still alive?? I'm on my way back to Bloemfontein. Atticus Hammond 09/07/17 "Maybe YOUR Sookie is showing!" -glowers- "Should I eat a Snickers?" Atticus Hammond 09/05/17 Wifebae Will you wear the... You know what? I'll just come to you. We can negotiate. Atticus Hammond 09/05/17 Wifebae It's fine, I promise. He's sort of growing on me. Knowing he's temporary helps, though. However, I wouldn't be opposed to whatever offer is on the table... Atticus Hammond 09/05/17 Wifebae My work wife said she'd take him. It'll be great! Lesbians are good at raising babies, aren't they? Wifebae ... Never mind. :[ Atticus Hammond 09/05/17 Wifebae Great news, honey! Found someone to raise Logan for us. Atticus Hammond 09/05/17 "A long six months?" Atticus pauses, a small smirk growing on his lips. "It's my job to remedy that, isn't it?" After sending an affirming glance that Logan is indeed sleeping, he leans down, scooping Camille up under her knees. "A lap dance WAS promised, after all." Hugging his wife close to his chest, Atticus begins to happily trot away. Because Camille Hammond is one spoiled rotten bride. Mackenzie 09/05/17 McIdjit And light a match. Mackenzie 09/05/17 Sh-t Brains Just thinking of you. Atticus Hammond 09/05/17 Of course Atticus can sympathize with the many demands of leadership. Camille's willingness to put herself at risk in the service of others is one of her many attributes he admires immensely. "Foolish question, on my part. I just worry that since he was a friend... You might extend hesitation." The same way that Camille refused to kill him, when perhaps letting zombie Atticus die would have been a better option than giving up her wings. At least, it would have served her better. He stoops, bristly cheek pressed against hers as he places an affectionate kiss against her soft skin. His arms take on a more cradling pose, enveloping her at the waist. "I wasn't aware you and Elouise had such a history." In truth, he had hoped the connection wasn't so severely strong. But, his wife is her own person. "If you trust her, then I will learn to. You KNOW I trust you." He offers a small grin then, pulling back far enough to show it before he gives her the cheesiest of eskimo kisses. "How long about did all of this happen? Jameson disappearing?" Atticus Hammond 09/05/17 "Sounds familiar..." He quips, observing with a quiet admiration the way Camille goes about ensuring the comfort of Logan. "So, he's not dead. But, not NOT dead." His brow stoops, an odd feeling growing like a weed in the pit of his stomach. "Loose cannon, huh?" He knows it should have already been entirely obvious, in her sudden appearance in Bloemfontein, how she seemingly abandoned her child with a total stranger... He of course, is in no way assured of her, especially around Camille. However, he trusts in Camille's judgment implicitly. "Is this Jameson a threat to you?" He hopes the question does not come off as alarmed as he feels, but his care for his wife is genuine. "You've known her for awhile, I assume. But I hope her presence isn't going to bring untoward attention onto your institute. I don't want to have to kill anybody." Mackenzie 09/05/17 B-tchface Ew. Atticus Hammond 09/05/17 "One day, you're actually going to tell me about Jameson and Elouise, aren't you? Given the fact I'm ensuring the survival of their child while you eat your feelings... I deserve some facts!" Atticus supplants his words with a tender kiss, a bit of mischief in his expression. "Should I bribe you with food?" Atticus Hammond 09/05/17 Atticus pauses, a hint of true concern glimmering in gray eyes that normally brood with deep and intense thought. "I don't think you'd break him. Not that you'll ever have to worry about that. It's just you, me, and our menagerie. Promise." For emphasis, his pointer finger crosses his heart in either direction. "I'm far too territorial to share you with a child for more than just this one, temporary occurrence." Atticus Hammond 09/04/17 Atticus shuffles into the kitchen, immediately going for a cup of coffee, because he KNOWS he'll need the energy. He leans against the counter casually, sipping at the lukewarm java while his wife looks soooo lost with Logan. It's quite amusing for him. "I'm sorry to hear. If he was in your leadership, then I assume he was a friend?" He bites back any further remarks, finally making his way around to prepping for his wife's snack of choice. "... Not skinny." He mumbles, a side-ways brooding stare sent in her direction before he continues in the many machinations of his cooking routine. "Is that why she's so..." What? Insane? Outrageous? Baffling? "I guess I'd be sort of crazy if you knocked me up and died. Which you're not permitted to do, thaaaank you." Once the water is set to boil, Atticus meanders back towards Camille, lips perching a loving kiss against her forehead. "He can't really tell the difference between you and Elouise, can he? Doesn't he recognize that you're just waaaaay sexier?" Ever the hopelessly horrible schmoozer, Atticus. Atticus Hammond 09/04/17 "Jameson? Someone willingly had a baby with Elouise Orlav?" Not that Atticus understands the drive to procreate, under any circumstance. It's a natural stall on one's ambitions and career. And for Atticus, there was only one person who could ever stand a chance at pulling his attention away from his work, and she was standing next to him. "I'll make you some mac n' cheese, for being soooo brave, and maybe he'll fall asleep." He then pauses. "Who's Jameson, and why can't HE watch his own damn child?" Atticus Hammond 09/04/17 "Babies drink milk. SPECIAL milk. Not the stuff I use for cereal. Theirs is like... Special. Boob milk." He blinks, thoroughly distressed he chose the verbatim 'boob milk'. It's her fault for marrying such an awkward, social inept man. "I've got this. I've fought cultists, slain dragons... This is kid stuff! Oh. Literally." He is absolutely overselling his ability to care for this baby, but, he always hopes to be a partner his wife can rely on in situations just like this. If she's going to have to live outside of her comfort zone, he's going to build a damn house and move in with her. "Diapers? Psh. No big deal. Done it thousands of times!" He conducts a very casual, nonchalant hand-wave, but in reality, the man is screwed. She just doesn't need to know that QUITE yet. Elouise Warrock 09/04/17 Camille Didn't you get my snail mail? I'm going to London! Have fun with Wolverine! Atticus Hammond 09/04/17 Wifebae It has a name?? It looks so new! It's a boy? Honey, help. There's so many bottles. Is this breast milk? EW. BABE. COME HOMEEEE. Atticus Hammond 09/04/17 Wifebae Herpes left her baby here, and I think it needs to be fed and watered? Like a zoo animal?? I don't know. He keeps making awkward eye contact with me. Atticus Hammond 09/04/17 Wifebae 911. Caitlyn Darrow 09/03/17 Caitlyn Darrow 09/03/17 Unknown Recipient OK! I like games. Atticus Hammond 09/03/17 Wifebae You're pretty dang 🔥🔥🔥 in my humble opinion.. Your secret is safe with me, baby doll. 💛 Atticus Hammond 09/03/17 Wifebae How is it possible to be THIS cute? Atticus Hammond 09/03/17 Wifebae To be clear, nothing beats coming home to you. Not even mac n' cheese compares. Atticus Hammond 09/02/17 Wifebae Sexy husband it is. Found the boom box, also. Are YOU ready? 😉 Atticus Hammond 09/01/17 Wifebae You're right. Now, do you want sexy fireman or sexy policeman? Caitlyn Darrow 09/01/17 Cami I'm reading Cosmopolitan and that's what they say keeps husbands from leaving. Caitlyn Darrow 09/01/17 Cami Birthday suits means just birthday hats right???Asking for a friend. Atticus Hammond 08/31/17 Wifebae I'm not going to do it if you're already having a stroke. Atticus Hammond 08/31/17 Wifebae I can't very well strip in front of your friends. You'll kill them all, and that'd be a very sad bachelorette party. So, I've decided to give you a private show tonight. Get some dollar bills out. Atticus Hammond 08/31/17 Wifebae Not a problem. Can the ceiling in your bedroom support a pole? Atticus Hammond 08/31/17 Wifebae Have you seen my boom box? Atticus Hammond 08/31/17 Wifebae It's where I grocery shop! C'mon! I'll just Google it, since you're not being forthcoming. Wifebae Oh... Wifebae Does that offer still stand??😍 Atticus Hammond 08/31/17 Wifebae What? Is it like Cost-Co? We can just use my card! Atticus Hammond 08/31/17 Wifebae Honey, what's a v-card? Did someone steal your purse? Do I have to kick someone's ass? Jameson Orlav 08/30/17 [E-Mail Encryption Begin:] {To: CRameau@solitude.org} {From: ------ @ -------} Stay the hell away from New Orleans. Stay out of my business. My orders have nothing to do with you. I don't want to have to hurt you, so don't make me, Camille. // end encryption Elouise Warrock 08/30/17 Elouise is minding her own sh*t. Eating cheetos. The usual. And then a tiny screaming midget disrupts her f*cking day. "CAMILLE. OH MY GOD." Her hair is being pulled, and she's 99% sure the angel is intent on killing her. "You're not supposed to be this mad! You got laid! I heard! We all heard!" ...probably shouldn't have said that. "I mean...I'm sorry I kissed your husband! But I assure you, my lips are clean!" Caitlyn Darrow 08/30/17 *Consults with Amazon* *Mails 14 cases of Orange juice to Camille* *Accidentally sends 14 orange juicers to Camille instead* Elouise Warrock 08/30/17 Camille I just want to know what sized duster I should buy you to remove the cobwebs from your dusty old vajeen. ;) I don't know where the f*ck Jameson is, and I didn't even KNOW my wife. So smd. Still definitely gonna fondle your boyfrand. :) Elouise Warrock 08/30/17 Camille Aren't you still a virgin??? How does that even work? I'M GONNA TAKE HIS VIRGINITY. Elouise Warrock 08/30/17 Camille You can give me the gummies, color unimportant, or I'll molest your little boy husband. Elouise Warrock 08/30/17 Camille Hoe, where you be at. I'm tryna finesse some gummies ya feel? Atticus Hammond 08/29/17 Wifebae 🦎💑🍦🌮🍔🍟💕👑🔥 Atticus Hammond 08/28/17 "We get meat on the pizza. It's all the food groups!" -scoops up- "Speaking of food, let's go get some deep fried mac n' cheese." Atticus Hammond 08/28/17 "Maybe a few sips here and there..." -swats at- "Don't give me that look! I'm just doing what makes him happy! He isn't a diabetic... Yet." Atticus Hammond 08/28/17 -bites shoulder- "It's his favorite! Are you telling me to deprive our only son?!" -incredulous stare- Atticus Hammond 08/28/17 Wifebae Of COURSE they were fresh. I wouldn't abuse our child with stale donuts. I'll make sure he doesn't eat any more. Does that mean he can't have this Dr. Pepper? Atticus Hammond 08/28/17 Wifebae I don't know. They were donut holes. He keeps giving me side eye. Do you think it should just because he's a lizard? Atticus Hammond 08/28/17 Wifebae Honey, I think I fed Lavender too many donuts... Lucius Dalca 08/27/17 Lucius was just strolling along minding his own business until he saw a familiar face he had met a couple of months back in his city. He had seen her every so often throughout his time in the underworld but never really had the time to strike an actual conversation until now. The warlock approached her with a charming smile and a friendly demeanor, "Heya! Do you remember me? Long time to see." He asked her never revealing the real intention behind the sudden approach. Atticus Hammond 08/26/17 Wifebae With great pictures, comes great responsibility. Don't show that to anyone else! Atticus Hammond 08/23/17 As if Atticus Hammond isn't already a goner with this woman, she brings home a present. And not just any present. THE present. It's the be-all and the end-all of presents. He visibly swoons, stormy eyes wide and totally enamored with her. "You're craftier than I realized, Cam-Cam." He toys with the bone gently in his hand, momentarily speechless as the magnitude of the moment reaches him. He isn't the feelsies type, but Camille brings something out in him. A child-like, lovey dovey, doodle in your notebook kinda vibe. And he won't lie, he doesn't mind one bit. He even kinda likes it. "Is this where my money went, little lady?" He raises a brow, a smirk teasing his lips. "See, this makes any future gift attempt on my part lame. I mean... You brought home a cat dinosaur!" He swoops in before he's even really finished speaking, lips finding hers in a tender display of gratitude. "I can make a spell circle if you want to raise our little friend tonight. We'll just need a sacrifice." Atticus Hammond 08/23/17 Atticus is minding his own business, organizing his rock collection when the door opens and closes. A soft, heartfelt smile touches his lips, as he knows just who the visitor is. He hardly has time to drop his rock hammer before he is being tugged into an unforgiving kiss, his own arms involuntarily wrapping around her waist. He feels a bit foolish, gray eyes still wide with shock even after she pulls away. His hands stay firmly affixed to her hips, forehead pressing to hers as his eyes avert to the object in her hand. "A bone?" He pulls back some, teeth flashing as a chuckle slips loose. "I'm afraid I'll have to a bit of time researching. Give me a hint?" His tone lilts, ensuring his southern twang melts her like butter. "Please?" It's the best tool in his arsenal, at present. Because otherwise, she has totally disarmed him. Atticus Hammond 08/23/17 Text To: Crafty Wife Can't believe you thefted from me. Your own HUSBAND. Guess you're going to miss me dancing around in nothing but your silky robe. Shame. [insert kissing emoji] Atticus Hammond 08/23/17 BestWife {video downloading} Aren't I just the luckiest guy ever... I've got my suit on, and I'm ready for a family dinner. Hope you're ready for alla dis. Atticus Hammond 08/22/17 Text To: Gunslinger You know the drawl comes natural. I'll just exaggerate a little more. ;] As for the tune... I will school Mary Had a Little Lamb on this bad boy, and then I'm taking my groupie for some impromptu burgers. Atticus Hammond 08/22/17 Text To: Pardner For Life Well, little miss... I reckon since you've been on your best behavior, I very much well could scrounge up a tune for you. [part 2/2] How much longer do I have to talk Cowboy? Atticus Hammond 08/22/17 typing... New Message! Aw. You'll always be the hottest wife. 😘 Lucky for you I shaved it off right after I sent the picture. 😇 Atticus Hammond 08/22/17 typing... New Message! Yeah, I just made it into a handle-bar. What do you think?! Atticus Hammond 08/21/17 Text To: Fav Gal Deal. I can't believe you're forcing me to relive trauma. I was showering in the locker room at the gym and someone stole my clothes and left a dress. Big, poofy, green with white polka dots. This was only two weeks ago. Atticus Hammond 08/21/17 Text to: Queen Kween The heart. Uh... One wish? I want to tame a lion and keep him as my friend. Two tacos and a convincing kiss. Atticus Hammond 08/21/17 Text To: Wifebae 2-dimensional. You can't snuggle a hologram. [part 2/4] Yes. But I'm not saying why without tacos. [part 3/4] Rapunzel. I'm only in it for the Gecko, though. [part 4/4] Walrus. What's yours? Lloyd R Darrow 08/19/17 -mumbles and mutters- Alright. Fine. But only because she's so innocent and lovable. And for the record, your payroll is sh*t. Lloyd R Darrow 08/19/17 -chases- -leaps to tackle- Don't tell her! She's adorable and fragile and her crying face is like kicking a puppy! Lloyd R Darrow 08/19/17 SHE ONLY HAS TWO KIDS. IF THEY'RE MORE I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE HELL SHE'S HIDING THEM. BUT THAT'S A HELL NO. STOP ENABLING HER. SHE HAS TO WEAR A HELMET IF SHE WANTS TO WALK THE DOGS. SHE ISN'T A BOSS. Lloyd R Darrow 08/19/17 SHE ISN'T THE BOSS. SHE CAN'T EVEN PUT PANTS ON ON HER OWN. SHE TRIES TO JUMP IN TWO LEGS AT A TIME. YOU'RE RUINING A DELICATE SOCIAL HIERARCHY. Lloyd R Darrow 08/19/17 STOP TELLING MY WIFE SHE'S THE BOSS. SHE CAN'T EVEN TIE HER OWN SHOELACES. Caitlyn Darrow 08/19/17 *shrieks* *flails arms around* *squeaky rolls down the hallway* *blinks* He agreed to that?! Oooo he can bring home orange scented paper.GREATIDEACAMILLEHOFORANGERAMEAU! *gleams* Atticus Hammond 08/19/17 Text To: Best Wife Oh, no, no. Not even close to a doctor. I was really looking to get their belongings [i.e. grimoire] and the easiest thing to do was dress up like a mortician. And then you know what happens. [part 2/2] You threatened a government official? That's hot. And you say you're not as cool as me! Ever play ping-pong with a warlock's eye? They glow in the dark! Atticus Hammond 08/19/17 Text To: Best Wife Every time you learn something new about me, you like me a little bit more. I can work well with these odds on my side. So... Did I ever tell you about the time I broke into a morgue to steal a witch's corpse and ended up having to perform the autopsy myself? Lots of intestines everywhere. 😍 Atticus Hammond 08/19/17 Text To: Cam-Cam That's very fair. You know I loathe socialization. Especially with rude people. I'll be home soon with the funfetti and PBR. You can make a list of questions, and I'll answer them all. Or avoid them with kisses. Whichever. Atticus Hammond 08/19/17 Text To: Camille Were you married to a woman? Is this a real marriage? Your daughter said a lot of things. She knows WAY too much about your sex life. Or lack thereof. Intentional lack thereof? I'm confused. Atticus Hammond 08/19/17 Text To: Camille I have a few questions for you. Atticus Hammond 08/19/17 Text To: Honey Bae Bae Funfetti for my bae. PBR too? Are we playing Mario Kart? I'll pick up some chapstick too. 'Cause after last night's mack-attack, you might need it. Also what was that about my trailer?! It's probably just a maimed witch or something. Atticus Hammond 08/19/17 Text To: Honey Boo Boo What kind of cake? Why do I have to bring a razor? Do I have to shave? Boo. Fine. ... Must be all the extra testosterone. To be clear, over the shirt action meant snuggles. But it's good to know I'm cute. ;] Atticus Hammond 08/19/17 Text To: Honey Boo Boo If I come home now, do I get some over the shirt action? Also, can we have birthday cake anyway? ... I'll bring home a cake. Mackenzie 08/17/17 Halitoses Face I didn't see a permission slip. Julliet Swan 08/17/17 She couldn't help but notice an unfamiliar face around -- and not to mention he seemed very comfortable around the sanctuary for being so fresh. Though, most perplexing, he seemed most comfortable around Camille. Julliet heard words tossed around the last few days, but she didn't want to assume anything. In passing, Julliet caught sight of her fellow blondie and plead to stop her for a moment. "I believe congratulations are in order?" It didn't sound like the most confident statement she'd ever made. She couldn't judge what the relationship was at this point, but the foundational bond was evident. "So, congratulations!" She squealed as she went in for a quick, but genuine, hug with Camille. Mackenzie 08/16/17 "No. I don't need a lackey to do my dirty work," she hisses quietly, glaring up at the woman that embodies everything a festering turd should. Plucky. Bird-like. Graceful. Mackenzie cannot stand her. She drops her voice, tone becoming much more frank. "Do not disappoint me, Cam. It's one thing to f-ck with me. It is entirely another to f-ck with one of mine." Mackenzie 08/16/17 "Han. F-cking. SOLO." Mackenzie corrects the woman through gritted teeth, reaching upward to wrap a bruising grip around the woman's wrists. "I will f-ck you up, Tweety. If he tells me you so much as look at him funny, your ass will be lit up brighter than a goddamn Catholic alter." Mackenzie 08/16/17 "HEY!" The familiar angry brogue yells out, hoarse with irritation. Soon, the tiny terror known as Mackenzie is in full view. "You married my guy?! Seriously? You married the Daniel to my goddamn Miyagi!? First, you f-ck up my life with Han Solo. Now this?!" Atticus Hammond 08/16/17 "Oh sh!t. Stand still. Don't move. There's an eyelash on your cheek. Let me get it with my teeth. Have to take my shirt off, though, 'cause I don't want to sweat it in. Serious business, capturing wayward lashes." Jameson Orlav 08/13/17 Mackenzie 08/12/17 Camille Still f-cking hate you. Elouise Warrock 07/23/17 Camille Lick my taint. Elouise Warrock 07/23/17 Camille I want answers. His b*tch of a sister has blocked me out. She won't talk to me, and I'm sure has his phone, too. I'm impatient, Camille. If you have information, I think it's in everyone's best interest I have it. Elouise Warrock 07/18/17 Dumb Wh*re ...I have a f*cking baby, remember? Oh. That's right. I had the baby. He's not even ugly. Elouise Warrock 07/18/17 French Wh*re Goddamn right. We are getting HIGH AF BBY. Elouise Warrock 07/17/17 Let's get naked and dance in a sprinkler. Mackenzie 07/01/17 Camile Poopoo Afraid you'll have to. I'm babysitting. Don't ask. You remember how to find me? Elouise Warrock 06/26/17 Camille I don't know where the f*ck he is. Why don't you stop being a trollop and come help me? Elouise Warrock 06/26/17 Camille new phone who dis Mackenzie 06/24/17 Camille Smells like bleach and halitosis in New York. Must mean you're here. El Orlav 06/09/17 Camiflauge Pretty sure this giant fvcking rat is going to eat me. It's in the bathroom. Julliet Swan 06/07/17 *looks around* Are there any ghosts in here? Or are you drunk? If not, then I'd say your eyes are functional. *grins* Elouise Warrock 05/04/17 Jameson and I did it in your office on the regular. ...and your room. Everywhere, really. H'okay. Go ahead and kill me. Elouise Warrock 05/04/17 Your face looks like a crushed urinal cake. Autumn Summers 05/02/17 Rhiannon Whitaker 04/17/17 Is this a gay thing? Elouise Warrock 04/17/17 Come at me, b*tch. MAKE MY DAMN DAY. Elouise Warrock 04/17/17 You look like cracked ass. Elouise Warrock 03/19/17 ...Moscow changed me. Mackenzie 03/17/17 Can't Stand This B-tch Oye. I'm hungry. Give me something to kill. It's International Please Mackenzie Day. Mackenzie 03/03/17 Arsehole Whenever I leave town, I always think of you a little more fondly. Then I go to text you something nice, and realize I still can't f-cking stand you. Slainte. Elouise Warrock 02/15/17 Big Hoe I'm getting married on the 28th. I need to to kidnap Cher and coerce her into performing at the reception. Just give her some of the Kool-Aid, she'll be down for whatever. Jameson Orlav 02/14/17 To: cr@solitude.com From: Dr. J. Orlav Subject: Marriage You're smart for never getting married. I waited so long, I'm not sure why I gave in now. Does E. Ever talk to you about people? Or what's going on? We have all of these new members, and most of them are great, but I'm not sure if I trust them, or her. You're not really peopley so I don't know if you'd understand. But you know when you just think that something is wrong? Yeah, I've got that gut feeling. I suppose I could talk to Noura, but you know how she feels about Elouise. I'm thinking about making the trip to Bloemfontein for a few days. I'll chalk it up to business. You got time? Jameson Elouise Warrock 02/13/17 Is it cheating if it's gay? You'd know, being a lesbian. Elouise Warrock 02/10/17 -leg sweeps- Quinn Abernathy 02/10/17 Quinn looks at the woman, a small smile appearing, "...Neverland." Elouise Warrock 02/09/17 Cash me ousside, how bow dah? Elouise Warrock 02/09/17 Don't touch me with your leper fingers, you prolapsed anus in a wig. Lucius Dalca 02/08/17 "You look like you leave good tips" ;) Mackenzie 02/07/17 Listen, b-tch. You hired me. Suck it up. El Orlav 02/02/17 ~+ Something touched her. Ella released a high pitch shriek at the invasion of privacy. Heart thumping rhythmically inside her chest. Oh god. What if it was Jameson? Both her hands moved to cover her face in embarrassment, and the tomato tone that now occupied her entire face. Two fingers carefully move apart as she looked on the person who excavated her shrill cry. A sharp breath of relief seeing it was Camille and not her realm crush.+~ ''Hello. You're pretty too...Uh. Sorry. You may continue. '' Lucius Dalca 02/02/17 Lucius finds her some time a few days later with a locator spell, "Heya stranger whose name keeps escaping me. So by any chance... Do you have more of those gummy bears?" He smiled brightly at the blond angel. "Also whats your name?" Livia Vlcek 02/02/17 *sheeps* Thank you. It took long enough right? Not sure what to do now actually. *looks to the purple glowy clothing she's been put it* Is it really purple though? It's the oddest color. *nudges* You're kind of pretty...you know that right? I bet this color would look better on you. *nods sagely* Livia Vlcek 02/02/17 *shifty eyes* *nervous laugh* Quit making fun of my chicken arms. *pokes back* Caitlyn Darrow 01/31/17 I already have puppies! They like squeakies. Elouise Warrock 01/31/17 Happy one year anniversary you trashy little hoe. 🖕🏼 Elouise Warrock 01/30/17 You can have mine. I'm sure Jameson won't mind! Elouise Warrock 01/29/17 Do you have any hobbies?? Lucius Dalca 01/27/17 "Me?"  Lucius looked up at the familiar voice he hasn't heard in a couple of days. It was the 'stare at you from away' lady actually approuching him this time. "Lucius.. But yes you could say I am the magic fingers guy.." He chuckled a bit amused at the way she knew him for all the while staring back at her own clear eyes. She seemed soo.. bubbly. It was cute, Ill give you that much. Did she robbed me? Sh!t, she was quick... He suddenly felt something on his pocket and a gummy in his own hand then listened to her words in french. Thank god for the foreign exchange programs in schools otherwise he wouldn't understand jacksh*t of what she was saying. He was rusty himself, ''Pourquoi donc.... chéri?" [Why is that.... Beloved?]  Caitlyn Darrow 01/26/17 *hides behind* Caitlyn Darrow 01/25/17 *blinks* *looks around* Is it hump day or are you going to visit Prince Ali Ababwa? *big eyes* *squeals* Can I come too? Mackenzie 01/24/17 That would be my last crusade. Elouise Warrock 01/24/17 I'm still waiting on those nudes. Mackenzie 01/23/17 Told you I'd found f-cking Indiana Jones. Totally raiding that lost ark. Mackenzie 01/23/17 Ever heard of my foot up your ass? Mackenzie 01/23/17 F-ck off. You know I can't. Medical reasons. Arsehole. Mackenzie 01/23/17 Oye. Did you transfer the 50k? Caitlyn Darrow 01/23/17 *tries to maintain resting b-tch face* *wiggles ears* Caitlyn Darrow 01/23/17 *keeps engaged in staring contest* Caitlyn Darrow 01/23/17 *stares* Elouise Warrock 01/22/17 Who are you calling b*tch, b*tch? Elouise Warrock 01/22/17 Did you get hit by a bus recently, or do you just look like this now?? Mackenzie 01/21/17 -Narrows eyes, points at- -Is not laughing- Listen, b-tch. He's real. I told him I'd see him on Tuesday, and by God, I will. ...but I need the money. Mackenzie 01/21/17 As if you can talk! You're the one that got our cover blown. Worst f-cking partner in crime ever. This is why I f-cking hate your arse. Now. 50k. Indiana Jones. Mackenzie 01/21/17 Listen, consider it payment for my servitude. You can just give it straight to that Indiana Jones f-cking pr-ck. Mackenzie 01/21/17 Nevermind, what for. I need 50k. Stat. Well. At least, by Tuesday. Mackenzie 01/21/17 I need a loan. Elouise Warrock 01/19/17 That's a goddamn lie. I'm fantastic. Jameson Orlav 01/19/17 *flips bird* Elouise Warrock 01/19/17 Jameson is a f*cking bully. Lucius Dalca 01/19/17 Lucius chuckles You heard about that already.. Huh.. You just have to find out yourself. Lucius Dalca 01/19/17 Lucius stares back and smiles.. .. ... . .. Elouise Warrock 01/17/17 ... Is that a 'no'? Here I thought you were cool. Elouise Warrock 01/17/17 Wanna go to a club where people wee on each otha? Autumn Summers 01/09/17 *wonders how many times this one was dropped on her head* Bite, nibble, caress, spank. Whatever strikes my fancy. *sweet smile* Autumn Summers 01/09/17 *turns around* *does not look pleased* On the contrary, I'm very much at home here. *pauses* *blatantly admires the bared flesh* Careful. I might take that as an invitation. Mackenzie 01/08/17 Listen, arsehole. You're gonna meet the Queen soon, when she drives her fist into your f-cking face. Caitlyn Darrow 01/07/17 ...Was I at your wedding? Summer 01/05/17 A large, beefy looking man approached Camille Rameau's residence. He double checked the address given by Summer, copied off their marriage license. He'd never seen someone have to check official documents to see where their spouse lived, but who was he to judge! He was just a bouncer at a strip club, earning cash on the side running very strange errands for the dancers. Well, one dancer anyway. Carl rapped his weathered, ham sized fists on the door as he placed the package on the step. He didn’t bother waiting for Summer’s new missus to answer the door. She might not anyway, seeing the sizeable strange man at her door. On the flip side, Carl knew of some...proclivities among those in the realm. No telling what Mrs. Rameau might decide to do with a stranger. The very thought had him hastening his step toward his large SUV. On the stoop, a professionally wrap gift sits waiting. Inside, the owner will find a handcrafted keepsake box, small enough to be held by two hands but big enough to contain: a few bags of herb grown in Summer’s attic, an assortment of other intoxicants of varying types, and the pièce de résistance- a thick knuckle ring with the skull of a goat on the top. The thickness was not due to the skull design, but because when pressure was applied to the top, a very thin, fatally sharp blade extended from the goat’s mouth. The finger knife was an odd choice for a wedding gift. But Summer wasn’t like other girls. Affixed to the box was a handwritten note: To my bride, whom I've never actually met before stumbling into the cathedral to take your hand in unholy wedded bliss. I would have delivered this myself but there was an emergency at work. Cinnamon called in sick so there was an opening. Feel free to stop by The Windmill anytime- free lap dances for spouses of dancers. If that doesn't flip your pancake, then free drinks at the bar should. If that doesn't either, well...we should probably talk annulment. I kid! I kid! In the box you’ll find some goodies I’ve curated especially for you. I hope you enjoy them. I didn’t include any brownies because those aren’t actual my specialty. My specialty is cookies. I’ll give you those fresh. The finger blade’s goat skull design was chosen with care. Lore says the goat represents New Endeavors, Loyalty, and most importantly- Independence. All very appropriate for our style of unholy union, I think. I do hope you enjoy it. I trust you’ll put it to good use. Truly, Summer Elouise Warrock 01/04/17 Couldn't have me so you married the second best blonde? Elouise Warrock 01/03/17 Hon hon hon, j'aime le Bisquick. Elouise Warrock 01/03/17 I met another rude blonde who speaks French. Are you multiplying?? Caitlyn Darrow 12/29/16 *sniffles* *whines* Ellie & Jameson keep touching my butt! Elouise Warrock 12/14/16 -headbutts- Idris Mowbry 12/13/16 -widens eyes- -more exaggerated zoolander pout- -flutters eyelashes- Idris Mowbry 12/13/16 -stares back- -makes duck lips- Livia Vlcek 12/13/16 *looks down* Are these the new lucky charms? *grins* I think I like the new and improved version... Elouise Warrock 12/13/16 💩💃👯👩‍❤️‍👩❄️⛄️💯 Elouise Warrock 12/13/16 The same place I left my husband. ... The laundry detergent aisle. Elouise Warrock 12/13/16 "...sum'uv'a'bish." She mutters, plucking the lollipop out her mouth to watch the Angel run off with Jameson's money. No matter, she'd just take more. And Camille could have fun drinking...piss? Hey, no kink shaming here. Elouise Warrock 12/10/16 Jameson is gross. Can we put him back up for adoption? Elouise Warrock 12/08/16 Huh. I always though I was a Gemini. ...my mom always said I was cancer though. I don't know if we meant the same thing. Elouise Warrock 12/07/16 Smelly Cat But I don't want to put on a sexy Santa costume. Can't he get a hooker for that?? Elouise Warrock 12/07/16 Camille Jameson is trying to make Christmas sexy. Make him stop. Autumn Summers 12/06/16 I'm rooting for you in the Beard Battle Royale! Jackson McCarthy 12/01/16 *momentary stink eye* *forgets at the mention of new bottles* Already restocked, but I mean..I won't say no to more. Who the hell would say no to more booze? *slightly disturbed by the thought of someone saying no to more booze* *might have a slight problem* To the booze! Elouise Warrock 12/01/16 Ohemgee. I love you. Elouise Warrock 12/01/16 Camille. Let's go get nuggets. Elouise Warrock 11/30/16 -sniffles- How should I know? He doesn't love me anymore! -cries harder- Elouise Warrock 11/30/16 -cries- But Jameson is the one who makes the food! Elouise Warrock 11/30/16 Don't quote Nacho to me if you can't keep up, bish! Elouise Warrock 11/30/16 -crippled heap- -too high to function- Those eggs were a lie, Camille! A LIE! Livia Vlcek 11/30/16 *stands absolutely still* *knows T-Rex hunts by movement...saw Jurassic Park* *becomes a statue* *contemplates the meaning of life* *watches Camille run off with a bag of...wheat? *wtf moment* *decides to go on a diet* Livia Vlcek 11/30/16 *sheer terror* *screams* *cries...loudly* Run Camille! SAVE YOURSELF! Livia Vlcek 11/30/16 *becomes lost in Camille's eyes* *turns from the unicorn to see who Camille is speaking to* *furrows brow* Why is that squirrel eating half a rat? Livia Vlcek 11/30/16 *take Camille's hand gently in her own* *turns it upside down over her awaiting palm* *smiles* *pops the contents of her hand into her mouth* *chews...for a long time* *swallows* Delicious! *offers Camille a listerine strip* They'll do more than freshen your breath. *grins deviously...nods to the unicorn* Mr. Sparkles agrees. Jackson McCarthy 11/30/16 *slight flinch* When the hell did you get so strong? *stares, untrusting...weird things were happening* Oh, yeah. Things are greaaat. Someone replaced all my alcohol with...Club Soda. *stares some more* You wouldn't know anything about that, would you? Or the glitter trail? Elouise Warrock 11/30/16 But you presented me with said cute butt! On a platter! -shifty eyes- It's a damn good butt though. And he flips a mean flapjack. Elouise Warrock 11/30/16 -whines- So not chill. You're supposed to be my homegirl! You're the one who forced us to socialize! This is your fault. Elouise Warrock 11/30/16 -snickers- Then I'll divorce Jameson anyways, and we can be sister-wives. Elouise Warrock 11/30/16 -passes J- If I leave Jameson, can we get married? Sarah Remington 11/30/16 *Arches brow* Gummies? I just came to feed the zombies some excess brains. *shifty eyes* I'll take the yellow kind. Summer 11/30/16 *Eyes go wide as saucers, like a kid at Christmas* "Thank you!" *greedily takes a handful and shoves them all in her mouth at once* *chews the generous wad of gummies until it is a multicolored sticky goo in her mouth.* "Let's watch the walls melt!" Summer 11/30/16 She was starting to think the best approach was merely sitting there with a blank look on her face. Curious blonde women were approaching her and giving her treats. *pops the gummy in her mouth and chews slowly* *Very yummy and strangely spiked treats. Gives the woman a once over then beams a grin* "I think I need another gummy to be convinced." Elouise Warrock 11/30/16 -whispers- You're not just my woman crush Wednesday. You're my woman crush every day. Elouise Warrock 11/30/16 -war cry- -grabs the goods- ¡VIVA LA REVOLUCIÓN! Elouise Warrock 11/29/16 Shrek is love, Shrek is life. Caitlyn Darrow 11/29/16 I 💛 You & Squeaky toys. Please help. I think I have an addiction to... Oooo! A shiny! Caitlyn Darrow 11/29/16 Camille Rameau just stole $3,048.00 from you! Please tell me you can hook me up with a squeaky toy now! Caitlyn Darrow 11/28/16 I got agitated and it broke in my mouth. RIP Squeaky toy 2016 named Tang Mackenzie 11/28/16 You know what I want to know, when did we become part of the Brady Bunch? Does that make Caitlyn, Carol? I can't live somewhere without my goddamn booze, Cam. That was part of the arrangement. I work for you, you booze me. Caitlyn Darrow 11/28/16 *pouts* *lower lip wobble* *hands pitcher of vodka & orange juice* I need a new squeaky toy, or else I'll just DIE. *Overdramatizes* Dessa Chambers 11/28/16 "I almost wish I didn't," Dessa laughs, though the sound a bit hollow. Her past would always be there and it defined who she had become today. Nevertheless, the past was a good reminder of what to continue doing and learning from her previous mistakes. Dessa's laugh turned genuine as Camille turned, "We both know 'not too strong' doesn't compute with me." Elouise Warrock 11/27/16 -tackles- -licks cheek, marks territory- Mackenzie 11/26/16 Just so we're clear, I still hate you. Elouise Warrock 11/21/16 Don't make promises you can't keep, bish ass. Elouise Warrock 11/21/16 You look like an old shag rug. Miryam 11/19/16 Greetings dear, Thanks for the welcome! Smith 11/19/16 Good luck in the Fatlympics. Jackson McCarthy 11/18/16 *chuckles* Like you really need to resort to pick pocketing to get across the border. *raises an eyebrow with a sly grin* You just have to ask if you want to be rummaging around my pants. Elouise Warrock 11/16/16 Who's crying over a rubber band, b-itchass? ... -pets hair- What a beautiful friendship we have. Elouise Warrock 11/16/16 -steals special brownies while she's crying- Shh. It's for the best. Elouise Warrock 11/16/16 -shoots rubber band at- Elouise Warrock 11/14/16 You Shanghai'd me to Africa! ...I never should have trusted that jungle juice. Elouise Warrock 11/14/16 -perks up- Well, okay. But what are you going to do without me? -pets- I was your first victim! Elouise Warrock 11/14/16 -grabs legs- -sobbing- He can't make me leave you! Tell 'im Cammie, tell 'im! Elouise Warrock 11/11/16 But your butt is so much nicer than Jameson's! Elouise Warrock 11/11/16 -touches booty- Caitlyn Darrow 11/09/16 *waddles around with squeaky toy* SqueaksqueaksqueakSQUEEEEEEak. Jameson Orlav 10/28/16 Stop drugging my wife! Elouise Warrock 10/28/16 -looks at Camille, then gummy bears, then Camille- I love you. -shoves them all in her mouth at once- -chews and swallows- ...am I gonna die? Elouise Warrock 10/28/16 Then she should read the labels. -blank stare- ...how dare you leave me with only the roach?! Elouise Warrock 10/28/16 -shifty eyes- Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. You should have some too. Mellow out. -puff- -puff- -offers to pass- Caitlyn Darrow 10/27/16 Jameson is sooooo bossy. Do you know who put oregano in the orange juice? Elouise Warrock 10/25/16 Jameson is peddling cocaine! Saito Eiji 10/25/16 I do what I want. D Elouise Warrock 10/24/16 -licks cheek- Elouise Warrock 10/20/16 -streaks past- Dexter Gein 10/19/16 Indeed, however, we're under renovations. Jameson Orlav 10/19/16 But she feeds me. And reads me bedtime stories. And other.. Stuff.. *coughs* Elouise Warrock 10/19/16 Fvck around and get dunked on, b!tch. Team Orlav out! Jameson Orlav 10/19/16 *space jam dunks on your ass* *flashes new Jordan's all over* Elouise Warrock 10/19/16 -blank stare- Okay, Jameson, slow down. -grimace- I regret knowing you. Elouise Warrock 10/18/16 -eeps- -mostly okay with this- ... make me look like Li'l Elouise from 'round da block. Elouise Warrock 10/13/16 -runs by screaming- -chased by a dozen or so puppies- Caitlyn Darrow 10/13/16 Have you seen my orange squeaky toy? It's gone missing! Livia Vlcek 10/11/16 *screams* MY EYES! MY EYES! I'M BLIND! *peeps between her fingers* Just kidding. Thank you Camille, it's good to be back. Elouise Warrock 10/07/16 *toddles by* Do you know how to assemble a crib? Jameson is useless! Saito Eiji 10/05/16 You know... That one guy? Elouise Warrock 10/05/16 -runs by- Way to goooo Camille, you're turning everyone into a pothead! -shifty eyes- And now they're gonna find the stash. Jameson Orlav 10/05/16 *toddles by* What's so special about these brownies, and why does my head feel so funny? Caitlyn Darrow 09/28/16 *Scratches head* Well that wasn't Orange Julius either! *huffs* Jameson Orlav 09/27/16 Caitlyn Darrow 09/26/16 *plops down* I'm going to just hide here for a little bit. Or take a five hour nap, okay? Elouise Warrock 09/26/16 -snipes with Nerf gun- Elouise Warrock 09/24/16 -sniffles- And he said he won't buy me ice cream anymore. He's a big meanie! Elouise Warrock 09/23/16 -is shocked and awed- Do you wanna go give some birds pepto-bismol? Elouise Warrock 09/23/16 -squints- You don't want to come in between me and my fire, Camille. Elouise Warrock 09/23/16 Have you seen my blowtorch? Jameson Orlav 09/23/16 *scoffs* As if its my fault that everyone around here is so damn sensitive. You chose them. *shifty eyes* Siobhan 09/22/16 *smelling the petals putting them in her hand* humming * sees girls and grins * " Hey nice flower petals smells pretty." Siobhan 09/22/16 Sees the petals fall on the ground and follows them. Elouise Warrock 09/20/16 Okay, we just gotta ditch Lameson and go somewhere with snow. -shifty eyes- Caitlyn can come, though. As long as she promises to stop watching me while I sleep. Elouise Warrock 09/20/16 -tugs on sleeve- ... Do you wanna build a snowman? Caitlyn Darrow 09/20/16 *Pouts* I just neeeeeeed my oranges. Help me file a restraining order for Taco Bell to Jameson. Also Del Taco and Filbertos. NO place is safe! Caitlyn Darrow 09/20/16 *Sniffles, makes oogly puppy eyes* Sofia Johanneson 09/19/16 Fia smiles as she hears the good news on her first day in the crew. "Congrats on Ranking Miss Camille. Truly an inspiration for us all!" Elouise Warrock 09/19/16 I would never shave your head, querida. -patpatpats- And that's why I'm your favorite, right? Jameson Orlav 09/19/16 *glares* You may be our fearless leader, but I will shave your head in your sleep. Don't test me. Elouise Warrock 09/17/16 It's okay, I'll keep pretending he's the strong silent type, but our morph children will know he's the emotional one. Elouise Warrock 09/17/16 Did you see? Jameson named zombies after our sons! -sheds a single tear- It's almost like being a real mom. I can beat my kids up and everything! Elouise Warrock 09/17/16 ... Alllll of them? -big smile- Saito Eiji 09/16/16 Come at me, bruh. Elouise Warrock 09/14/16 Camille Rameau just failed at stealing money from you! Aren't you supposed to be my sugar mama? Elouise Warrock 09/14/16 Jameson Orlav 09/12/16 I'm not intelligent? *kicks* Elouise Warrock 09/12/16 I morphed Jameson's and I's faces to see how ugly our baby would be. And it was bad. On the bright side, you and Steve Buscemi make a beautiful couple, and even prettier children! Elouise Warrock 09/12/16 -narrows eyes- Pain. They'll feel pain. -wide eyes- And then we can get ice cream after! Elouise Warrock 09/12/16 -hysterical tears- Who took Smelouise from me?! She was the only zombie I ever loved! Elouise Warrock 09/12/16 Ugh, don't get too attached. I know I'm your favorite, but if Jameson finds out, he'll cry again. Elouise Warrock 09/12/16 -pouts- Why are we even friends? Elouise Warrock 09/11/16 It's no coincidence that Smelouise and Smelly Cat are the only ones left standing. We're meant to be. Elouise Warrock 09/10/16 ... For llama? Okay, I guess. Elouise Warrock 09/10/16 Qui est probablement raciste, Mme St. Taco. Quand même, je vous en suis reconnaissant. -squints- Google Translate is hard. How do I trust that meme is a real word?! Elouise Warrock 09/09/16 Je m'apelle Claude. Saito Eiji 09/09/16 -Racks brain for any knowledge of the French language.- Uhm... Omelet du fromage? Saito Eiji 09/09/16 -Looks up thoughtfully.- -Jots down a few notes furiously.- You may be on to something... Saito Eiji 09/09/16 -Dumps about fifty bucks worth of loose leaf paper onto.- ...For research and development. -Draws up plans for the ultimate paper airplane.- Saito Eiji 09/08/16 Ten bucks says mine flies further. -Definitely doesn't have a gambling problem.- Elouise Warrock 09/07/16 -is clammy- I... I think I need an adult! Saito Eiji 09/07/16 -Assumes an unspoken bond has been formed.- -Bows respectfully.- Saito Eiji 09/07/16 -claims the jellybean, sets a paper airplane in its place.- -Nods.- Saito Eiji 09/07/16 -Stares back.- @_@ Mackenzie 09/06/16 *Stares after her* ...Is that a bald spot? Elouise Warrock 09/06/16 Camille Rameau just failed at stealing money from you! You talk a big game for an utter failure. -smiles- Caitlyn Darrow 09/06/16 Worst Taco Tuesday ever! Ramille, Lameson, and Matelyn are all going to miss it. I was just starting to convince Matelyn to say something other than Brraaaaaaaiiiins. Elouise Warrock 09/04/16 Square up or shut up, cuh. Elouise Warrock 09/04/16 Come at me, bro. Elouise Warrock 09/02/16 I just don't understand how Camille Rameau becomes Smelly Cat. I mean... -squints eyes- No, I see it now. Elouise Warrock 09/02/16 Smelouise? Iconic. Caitlyn Darrow 08/29/16 I eat the peels! But Cami.. WHERE are the rest of my oranges?! *Screams internally* Dexter Gein 08/28/16 "Gin soaked gummi bears. Great idea." Jameson Orlav 08/26/16 -Jedi jujitsu hand signals- Elouise Warrock 08/26/16 Don't tread on me! Dexter Gein 08/25/16 *innocent smile* Elouise Warrock 07/17/16 Seeing your face plastered everywhere has brought me to a sudden realization. You definitely need a nose job. Mackenzie 06/17/16 You look funny. Caitlyn Darrow 06/05/16 You know Cami? I think this weather has made my dress lighter! *Is totally oblivious that it's because her pocket money was stolen* Elouise Warrock 06/04/16 Did you get hot, or something? Elouise Warrock 05/07/16 I threw my pie for you. Jameson Orlav 05/05/16 Text to: Bossy Message: Yo.. Who let all the weirdos into the clubhouse? Jack Horton 05/03/16 I was just perusing the Victoria's Secret website... alone... in my room... and swear I saw you on there. Elouise Warrock 04/25/16 Are you jealous that I'm kind of pretty, and you're not? Jameson Orlav 04/21/16 He smirks. "I didn't stutter." Jameson Orlav 04/21/16 Thanks, princess. Caitlyn Darrow 03/31/16 You were successful in stealing $0.00 from Camille Rameau. What is this madness?! Jack Horton 03/28/16 Aaaaaaaaand... you are? Siobhan 03/25/16 A BIG Congrats on making POD W_Kat 03/25/16 Congrats on P.O.T.D.! :D Caitlyn Darrow 03/10/16 *Runs around in circles* *Barks while running* *Pauses and clears throat* Hi! Elouise Warrock 03/06/16 "Pomme de terre. As if a Frenchman discovered a potato and said, 'oh, hon hon hon, zis in like un apple, mais, from la terre! C'est un apple of the earth!' Am I right?" Elouise Warrock 03/05/16 *blinks at* "You're like a potato.. with eyes." Elouise Warrock 02/23/16 You smell like a turtle tank. Take a shower. Elouise Warrock 02/02/16 *offers silver medal* It's for being the second most attractive blonde in the crew. *beams* Siobhan 02/01/16 " Look who is all Gold. It looks good on you Congrats Camille." Genesis 02/01/16 "Look at you, all sparkly gold! Congratulations on the start of something new!" ~sniffles cuz her little girl is getting all grown up~ Jackson McCarthy 01/31/16 Gold looks good on you! Adara Litvinova 01/31/16 Yaaaaaaaaaaaay! *coughs* Go team, BLONDE! Genesis 01/29/16 "Hey! That zero bux was full of LOVE!!!" :P John Doe 01/27/16 John Doe Fact #398: John Doe can run in moon boots...on the moon. Jack Horton 01/26/16 Exactly! *Holds up his Sexiest Man pin... that OTHER PEOPLE VOTED FOR... NOT YOU!* Jack Horton 01/26/16 "Well I'm pretty sure you're sure pretty... but you can buy the drinks." John Doe 01/19/16 John Doe Fact #243: John Doe can tie his shoes while running. Genesis 11/19/15 ~eyes the girl, eyes the bottle~ "You are so speaking my language right now. I could definitely use someathat." ~grins and pulls out some mentos~ Mercy Prescot 11/06/15 The devilish smile lingers on her lips as she allows her arm to intertwine with that of her lovely and crazed as she was, friend. "Darling you know the words to my heart, truly..." Her amused and whimsical chuckle rolled off the tongue easily. "A celebration sound superb! And of course the more trouble the better. It has been far too long indeed." Mercy Prescot 11/06/15 Know where a gal can get a drink around here? *Smiles impishly* Jack Horton 10/17/15 To: Little Bird Text: Hit me up when you're in London next. I owe you a drink for all the ones you've let me have... ;) (That's a winky face just in case you didn't know. I think. I'm not actually sure myself. Just imagine me winking at you.) Julliet Swan 10/14/15 *smirks deviously* Indeed, indeed... *commenses own [shorter] round of applause* It sound like a plan then, love. *blows a kiss before returning on her way* *shouts from a distance* Pranks galore! Julliet Swan 10/14/15 Well, damn. *snickers* Never hurts to be told again! *gives a once over* Y'know... we should consider dressing as twins for Halloween this year. Freak some people out... *grins childishly while twirling a blonde strand* Julliet Swan 10/14/15 Has anyone ever told you that purple looks just lovely on you? *winks* *giggles* Caitlyn Darrow 10/12/15 *sobs* Go crush all the apple trees Cami! #Helpaorangesisterout #Noapplescrubs Livia Vlcek 10/06/15 *is assaulted by flowers and blue p...jelly beans?* *shifty eyes* *unsure of what they are, goes to drugs.com to search* Genesis 10/02/15 ~pulls flower from nose and commences with insane sneezing fit~ "The flowers are much more you. Much more pretty on you...and...well...yanno...they just dont suit me. I will, however, be smelling that flower for the next two weeks, thankyouverymuch." ~looks around and gives her pretty friend a quick uncommon, slightly awkward hug and whispers...~ "Tell anyone about the girly hug and I cut off your mento supply..." Genesis 10/01/15 ~eyes you~ "Are those flowers in your hair?" ~completely invades your personal space to shove nose into your tresses, also sneakily passes you some blackmarket Coke...A-cola and mento's.~ Genesis 09/14/15 You were successful in stealing $0.00 from Camille Rameau. ~eyes you~ "What? No allowance for me to plunder? How am I gonna get all liquored up and blow stuff up? I NEED booooze...I NEED 'splosives!!!whines Jack Horton 09/01/15 *taps his back pocket and winces* For fu... FINE, have it. But that's more than enough for a few skirts. Take the rest as a down payment for services yet to be rendered. Livia Vlcek 08/30/15 *recoils in fhear* *scowls* Sometimes showers aren't enough! *shifty eyes* You're fresh, fly, tight. Clean. Always on. So I'm wipin' you down! Congrats on the new rank! Livia Vlcek 08/30/15 *wipes Camille down...with sani-wipes* *there's an urban dictionary meaning just waiting to be viewed* *waits* Nicolai Mihaylov 08/28/15 Congratulations on ranking! Jack Horton 08/27/15 *touches inappropriately because he's a mother frackin' leader and can do what the hell he wants* Jacob Zev 08/20/15 -Calls out after the running woman- "I did warn you that I was close, I'm already two third of the way to the next, better work hard." -Grins and goes back to training.- Livia Vlcek 08/20/15 You do what any good dr...food addict does. You roll a supplier or you make friends with one. *shifty eyes* Or you have a great friend just happen by with duffle bags. Livia Vlcek 08/13/15 *shifty eyes* *acts all nonchalant like* *dives at candy bar* *kit kats* Jack Horton 08/11/15 *smears bloody handprints over your comments box* Jacob Zev 08/06/15 *Turns around to see his crew mate and smiles* "Oh, Hey Camille..." *He cuts short what he was saying when she mentioned his picture being plastered everywhere.* "I didn't do anything, I'm not sure..." *Once again she cuts him off to point out sirens in the distance, at which point he turns on his heel and starts to run.* "You didn't see me, ok? Talk later..." Caitlyn Darrow 08/05/15 *Hands orange with a carved smiley face* It's happy to be yours! Livia Vlcek 08/05/15 *snatches from hand* *runs* *searches pocket for a lighter* Livia Vlcek 08/05/15 *coughs* Livia Vlcek 08/04/15 *cants head* I'm a vegetarian so...there's that. *tries very hard not to laugh* *shifty eyes* I don't think that... *steps in front of ten foot water pipe* I have anything you'd be interested in. Livia Vlcek 08/04/15 *fingertips drift through Camille's flaxen tresses* *snicks* *shakes head* Never... *presses lips together* Caitlyn Darrow 08/03/15 *squeaks and clings on* *Never lets go ♥ ♥* Jacob Zev 08/01/15 *Walks up to his crewmate, hand raised in the air.* "Tope là! Congratulations on the new rank!" Livia Vlcek 08/01/15 *hive fives* Congratulations Camille! Urinal! *winks* But seriously, way to put in the effort. You're awesome. *hugs* Livia Vlcek 08/01/15 *cheers on!* You can do it gurlfran!! Jack Horton 07/23/15 That's what you get for threatening to beat on me in my sleep! Livia Vlcek 07/20/15 *blinks* *steps away from the woman...hands up* I didn't...touch her. *runs* Livia Vlcek 07/20/15 *uses Camille as a human shield* Livia Vlcek 07/20/15 *blinks* *pats shoulder* I...I've never seen them move like that. Maybe they thought you were there to give them a bath? They like their little leaves rubbed clean. *may have spoiled the trees* C'mon, let's get you all cleaned up. I have a huge copper tub...I'll figure out what removes um... *waves hand around Camille* Alla that. Livia Vlcek 07/20/15 *shifty eyes* *might be suddenly askeered* Have Cait's trees in my backyard been attacking you? Caitlyn Darrow 07/18/15 Love tackles are the best! Next to love taps! I'm not back for good my lovely love, but I'll be back for good sometime soon. I just had to come spread the citrus rings around the realm. Hmm is there such a think as love kicks? Caitlyn Darrow 07/18/15 *gets tackled* AHHH okay! okay! THE LOVE IS IN THE AIIIIR TOOONIGHT *sings while on the ground from tackle* Have you been working on your tackling? Do you love tackle often? You should love tackle everyone and force feed them orange juice! Caitlyn Darrow 07/18/15 *runs up* *kisses cheek* *hands orange juice in a flask* *Runs like a boss* Julliet Swan 07/16/15 Congratulations on your new rank! *will deny possible stalking accusations* *is shameless* Livia Vlcek 07/15/15 *blinks* I fvcking hope to God I'm not... *blinks again* Penguins? *looks around surreptitiously* *feels drool* *takes out phone...SELFIE!* *takes lovely picture of droolly face Camille and self* *saves for blackmail* Livia Vlcek 07/15/15 *looks around* Man...I haven't a clue. The city? *shifty eyes* Maybe they'll deliver one to wherever we're at? *squints at street sign* Livia Vlcek 07/15/15 *looks at the brown liquid* I'm not sure...it's deli. *pauses* Disgusting. You wouldn't want it. *hands Camille a flask of Tequila* Drink this instead. *'accidentally' knocks burger from the girl's hands* Oops! Livia Vlcek 07/15/15 *sinks to the ground* *slips her lap beneath Camille's head to cradle it* *pets* No no...you've just eaten too much meat. *takes a long pull from the jar of moonshine she's 'found'* Everyone knows Mexican food is best to eat after drinking...and drinking more alcohol relieves 'hangovers'. Jack Horton 07/10/15 Yeah, I use to think you looked like someone too... but then I was heartbrokenly mistaken. Livia Vlcek 07/10/15 *throws hand up in the air...leans back* This is where they stay crunk, throw it up, dubs on the Cadillac. White tees, Nikes, Gangstas don't know how to act... Jack Horton 07/10/15 TV actually. I played Redshirt #5 in Star Trek. Didn't last long. Nicolai Mihaylov 07/09/15 Hullo, dahlin. Thank you for the welcome. Jacob Zev 07/08/15 The concern was appreciated and made Jacob feel he made the right choice in accepting Livia's offer to become a part of their crew. "I've got a fair hand with a needle and thread and a good supply of antibiotics stashed away. I think it'll stay attached this time." Livia Vlcek 07/07/15 *sings* Where where da cash at...where da cash at, don't be surprised if she asks where da cash at. *listens to Currency & Lil Wayne as she passes by Camille* Jacob Zev 07/07/15 Still grinning he pointed to his bandaged thigh, "Yea, double tapped me right in the leg, although I did stab her so I probably deserved it..." Taking a moment to think about what he just said he realized just how absurd it sounded. "It was certainly the most unusual way I've met someone while walking the streets." He chuckled again before reaching into a pocket and pulling out two pain pills and swallowed them dry. Jacob Zev 07/07/15 He couldn't help but laugh again, eliciting a small wince as his leg throbbed at the motion. "Brave is one word for it, I might lean towards 'stupid' though. I certainly didn't expect her to shoot me. I managed to come out on top in the end, even if it was kind of a cheap shot...hopefully she doesn't hold a grudge..." His last words were completely honest, he really didn't want to have that woman as an enemy. Jacob Zev 07/07/15 Jacob laughed at the comment before saying, "Something like that...Our illustrious leader gave me a thorough hazing before I made it in. Things got a bit carried away but I'll heal." He recounted the fight in his head for a moment before adding, "She really doesn't pull her punches." Jacob Zev 07/07/15 Sore and still visibly limping after the encounter with his new leader Jacob turned to face his new crewmate with a smile. "Nice to meet you Camille, I'm Jacob." Taking the offered hand he shook it briskly. "The pleasure is all mine." Livia Vlcek 07/04/15 Drawers? Did she keep tequila in her undergarments? Livia extended her hand to accept the tiny bottles and flowers. Seriously, Camille must have been heaven sent. Ahem. With a salute of her other hand, Livia started to shove the small bottles into her pockets until, well, she looked like a squirrel saving up for the winter. High? Totally. "Dekuji Milacku." She mumbled past the cigarette that now dangled from lacerated pout. "I'm sure my friend will enjoy these greatly." Total lie. Jackson wasn't getting ANY of these. Maybe one. Then it wouldn't be a lie right? Just a half truth? Something like that. Livia Vlcek 07/03/15 She's propped up against the wall, half asleep and smoking a cigarette. A faint clinking heard as Camille wanders by, cerulean pools drift to study the trail of tequila that slips from the basket Camille carried. She's like a fvcking Patron rainbow. "Milacku, do you have a few to spare for my friend Jacks?" Not that she was really asking for Jackson, he was just her cover."I promised him tequila but I'm too tired to run to the store. " Nathaniel Tallios 06/03/15 I think you're just glad that there's someone you can push into the pool over the summer. Don't think I don't remember taking a snowball to the head. I will have my revenge! -shakes fist to the sky- Mercy Prescot 05/30/15 Grins while she eyes her former wallet. "Flasks in the other pocket Hun. You know I think I deserve something pretty for being frisked. Sapphire is a pretty liquor!" Mackenzie 05/27/15 Juuuuuust trying to get your attention. *Nudge nudge* Livia Vlcek 05/22/15 *thinks* I haven't been to a party in forever...*looks at the paddles that are being dragged away by squirrels* Livia Vlcek 05/22/15 Oh...*shifty eyes* Was the rave fun? *tosses paddles to the side* Livia Vlcek 05/20/15 *sees that Camille is blue* *FREAKS out* *runs and grabs defibrillator* CLEAR! *rubs paddles together* Jackson McCarthy 05/19/15 Jackson had been a bit of a recluse as of late, but decided to get back out there with the thought of bugging a new member. "You know...If you wanted to get closer to me, all you had to do was come see me. You didn't have to go through the trouble of getting into the same house as me. Just like you didn't have to use the pretence of stealing my money to feel me up. I understand your infatuation with me and there's nothing to me ashamed of." Mercy Prescot 05/18/15 *Chuckles and smirks* When have I ever run out of alcohol? *produces large flask* Mercy Prescot 05/18/15 Welcome to the party! *Grins and offers a mamossa* I'm glad to see a familiar face. Mackenzie 05/15/15 You. I miss you, little Angel. Caitlyn Darrow 04/21/15 *blinks and reaches a hand to pat reassuringly* Oh! Well yes if you think it's justified. Maybe when he gets back, you can force him to have a big,big,big formal wedding, and you can marry us properly. *grins* Caitlyn Darrow 04/21/15 *shifty eyes* It was *clears throat* a hit and run..er..I mean..! He likes orange juice, and he ran away to get the secret stash. So you can hit him later! Mackenzie 04/16/15 Noooooo funnier than you, m'sweet. Mercy Prescot 01/31/15 *Picks confetti out of hair while laughing* why thank ya! I'll drink to that! Mercy Prescot 01/25/15 Thank you, I think I'm giving up drinking for a while. Edward Brollachan 01/22/15 'Tis like the FBI Most Wanted list... Caitlyn Darrow 01/08/15 *does twirl* I know pretty, just like youuuu!! Dessa Chambers 01/05/15 Phew! You scared me! *swats* >.> Dessa Chambers 01/05/15 *frowns* You weren't supposed to die! *cries* Dessa Chambers 01/05/15 *noms* Dr Van Helsing 12/28/14 Love your profile! lacigam 01/09/14 As he slowly looks her profile over he stares for a moment at her lovely words and wonders what she is thinking..... lovely profile my lady..... Dessa Chambers 12/24/13 Awww.. It's so pritty! Johnny Kells 12/13/13 Welcome to the Realm! You are the monthly winner of a small gift pack from me, the Realm's packrat! Sean smiles widely and hand the newcomer a card with his direction on it. "G'day and good luck!" Athena 12/11/13 Welcome to the Realm!
	Actives (21) Fresh Blood (5) View All The Fallen (1) Graveyard Fiona MacKay, Maeve, The Xenomorph, Lenali Prince, Tobias Demarcus, Eloise Buchanan, LillyEmperium, Shelly, Beau Theroux, Dessa Chambers, Dark Jedi, Lucifer Mourningstar, Uriel, Lucian James, Mackenzie, Blood Maw, Pandora, Mallory Quarters, R, Gens Revenge, Huntress Wizard  Shelly Lenali Prince Bethel Lucian James hades9985  Diabla_

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