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Jameson Orlav



 
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Vampire
Asema
Born: April 21, 2016 Forum Topics Started: 10
Race: Vampire Forum Posts / Replies: 77
Affiliation: The Basement Mail Replies Sent: 4575
Home City: Moscow Mail Sent: 197
In Union With: Not in Union Last Login:
Currently Online:
11/23/17 at 10:00 pm
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Current Mood: Amused  Amused 
Quote:
The Basement Members
Sarah Remington, Noura Orlav, Cole Ward
 
Special Items:
 Minion Horde Raiding Party Leader
Have you seen my Minion Raiding Party?
I love my Minion Raiding Party, but not all at once
My Minion Raiding Party won't come back
My Minion Raiding Party stole all my clothes
Best RP June 2016
Savage Secret Santa - Christmas 2016
Best Couple Costume ~ Masquerade 2016
Best Male Costume ~ Masquerade 2016
A limited edition assortment of peanut butter Admin eggs - Easter 2017
Best RP April 2017
Best RP July 2017


Jameson Orlav's Biography







You were successful in stealing $51,620.00 from Victor Lockheed.

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Slayer
Guardian

Mackenzie
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Master Slayer

Ella Donovan
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Obur

Noura Orlav
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Dark Embracer

Elouise Orlav
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Fledgling

Cole Ward
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Sarah Remington
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Lloyd R Darrow
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Oliver Price
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Camille Hammond
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Black Beast

Caitlyn Darrow
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Remi Rose
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Sofia Johanneson
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Damian Crusher

Last five threads posted in:
ForumSubjectLast Post
New OrleansThe House of the Rising Sun
Created by Elis Griffyn
10/16/17
New OrleansHeads Will Roll
Created by Ella Donovan
10/09/17
New Orleansvítáme lži, které jsme žili
Created by Jameson Orlav
08/30/17
ContestsThe Name Game
Created by Castiel
08/14/17
Realm2017 Summer Bloodies
Created by Cersei Lannister
05/03/17
Sarah Remington 11/12/17 Sarah stood in front of the man, arms folded with the scalpel twirling between her fingers. This wasn't how she planned things, but when someone murders both your children. Certain measures must be taken. All the toys in her dungeon were released into the realm, and who knew what that meant. Skittish transients. Demented serial killers. The possibilities were endless. Because the toys in her dungeon lacked the soul they needed to live their mundane lives productively.

"Da." The reply made her devilish lips tug into a disturbing smirk. Oh, the things she could do in a dungeon were magical.

She remembered the man in front of her vaguely. He has made a transition since she lost herself into her work. Now he was on the right side of the war.

"I hope you like the sounds of tortured screams and the smell of anxious perspiration."
Victor Lockheed 11/11/17
Ella Donovan 11/11/17 James
Did 'Death' come for you, too?
Ella Donovan 10/11/17
Spring Taylor 10/10/17 To: JAMESON.ORLAV@BASEMENT.ORG
Fr: HEADJEW@DEATH.GOV
Re: ****** ALLIANCE

WHO THE ****** HELL DO YOU THINK ******. SUCK MY **** YOU ******** PLEB. CHOKE ON A ******** ****** **** SUCKER. STICK A HEADSTONE UP YOUR ******* ***** AND DIE.
Lloyd R Darrow 10/05/17 Dr. Orlav
Even your own?
Who are you, Cronus?
Lloyd R Darrow 10/05/17 Dr. Orlav
Do you eat unruly children?
Athena Maximus 10/01/17 She couldn’t help but smirk at the voice on the other end. ‘Have you heard of a fvcking hospital?’ Rang in her ears. She waited for him to finish before she continued on. “I completely understand. I said the exact same thing when Luna Fields referred me to you. She mentioned that you were a great doctor and a close friend of hers.” She stopped for a moment thinking about her friend. Her stomach began to grumble craving tacos, tequila, and orange juice. Then quickly continued on. “Truth be told I could fix this myself if it wasn’t in such a weird spot. I was in a hunting accident and have several bullets in my back.” She couldn’t help but laugh before she continued on. “I would do it, but I literally can’t reach them.” She sighed softly. She felt bad for calling this stranger, but it’s not exactly a normal scenario. It would raise a ton of red flags and humans ask too many questions. She shook her head and turned around beginning to walk back apartment. “I’m sorry for bugging you Dr. Orlav, and wasting your time. I’ll find some other way to fix it.”
Athena Maximus 10/01/17 She looked down at the card that her friend had given her and sighed. “Doctor? In a basement?” She looked at the door sticking up out of the ground in front of her. “That’s not sketchy at all” she says sarcastically. She sat there for a few moments wondering if she should even attempt it. Luna had friends in weird places. She had met Luna Fields on a trip to Japan. After fighting Some of the creatures in the mountains they quickly became friends. Luna had a pile of cards for everything Athena could ever need. In this case, she needed a doctor. Bad. She grimaced as she pulled out her phone and dialed the number waiting for someone to answer. She sat there for a moment before speaking. “Dr. Orlav, this is Athena Maximus. I was referred to you by one of your old coven mates.” Was that even the right word for it? She thought. Then quickly continued on. “I’m in need of some medical attention, and was wondering if you would be able to help?”
Ella Donovan 10/01/17 James
Why don't I just come down there for some fun?
Ella Donovan 10/01/17 James
You eat mammals. OK. Let me rephrase. If someone hurts Hank, they're going to be tossed down the basement to you.
Ella Donovan 10/01/17 James
Don't eat my new puppy, Hank.
Noura Orlav 10/01/17 Jameson
Yea. Like your pulse.
Noura Orlav 10/01/17 Jameson
Don't give me that attitude, Jameson. You're not f-cking busy. You're just toying with Ella. And I call dibs on her tonight. We need a f-cking girls night.

Jameson
Nevermind. Cole just got into New Orleans.
But I get Ella tomorrow.
Since when are you into group activities?
Noura Orlav 10/01/17 Jameson
wtf. You're supposed to be besties again.
You two were always joined at the hip.
Noura Orlav 10/01/17 Jameson
Have you seen Cole?
Elouise Orlav 09/30/17 Jameson
Want to get naked?
Noura Orlav 09/27/17 Jameson
I’m just happy we’re all together again. I missed our team.
If you tell anyone I said that, I’ll gut you.
Ella Donovan 09/27/17 James
Lloyd Darrow invited me. Do you want to come?
Ella Donovan 09/25/17 James
If I go to London, will you behave?
Noura Orlav 09/24/17 Jameson
Do you trust me?
Elouise Orlav 09/20/17 Jameson
I'll be in the bar where you first told me you loved me.
You remember it, don't you?
Swing by if you want to settle that appetite.
Elouise Orlav 09/20/17 Jameson
Jealous, are we?
Elouise Orlav 09/20/17 Jameson
What are we doing for our anniversary?
Mackenzie 09/18/17 Orlav
Where's my head?
Ella Donovan 09/16/17 James
Want a midnight snack? ;) I just have to stop in my room first.
Ella Donovan 09/16/17 James
Are you home?
Elouise Orlav 09/15/17
Elouise Orlav 09/07/17 Jameson
He isn't yours.
Elouise Orlav 09/06/17 Jameson
Come near my son and I'll kill you.
Zero hesitation.
Mackenzie 08/31/17 Jameson
The Basement? Aptly named.
Clever boy. Protecting what matters.
Quinn Abernathy 08/31/17 She has no idea what he is talking about. Quinn listens, fidgeting with the bag in her hands. Distrust is written all over her, and she cannot help but feel a ration of fear overcome her. Still, she keeps it up, stepping forward to block the way to the basement with her body. It's a gentle, unassuming movement. Not meant to be threatening but clearly also something of a statement.

"I don't know who you are," she murmurs. There is no way he belongs here. Ella would have said something. "No one goes in the basement. It's a rule."

One more sidestep, and the knob to the door is at her back. She does not recognize him, partly because she had never been moved to know him.

"Who let you in?"
Quinn Abernathy 08/31/17 She went to the house for some sugar. Quinn wanted nothing more than warm, sweet cup of coffee. It is simply one of those days. Fall is just around the corner, and while New Orleans is miles away from the climate of the Northeast, she would still enjoy the finer things that came with the season.

She rounds the corner, a constant smile upon her face, when she sees him. He creeps toward the basement door, and Quinn swears he looks just as unwell as she feels when she sees the man. A stranger, in their home. Forcibly brave, she pipes up. Quinn is terrified of the man, and she simply does not know why.

"Excuse me... are you lost?"
Elouise Orlav 08/30/17 Jameson
I'll find out. And then I'll find you.
Noura Orlav 08/30/17 Jameson
On my way.
No man left behind.
Noura Orlav 08/30/17 Jameson
Location?
Elouise Orlav 08/29/17 Jameson
Where are you, handsome?
Mackenzie 08/16/17 Don't forget want that head.
I have big plans.
Caitlyn Darrow 08/13/17
Ella Donovan 08/13/17
Noura Orlav 08/13/17 "I swear to God Jameson," she hisses, swatting at his hand. "I'm trying to get some f-cking dinner, here."

Jameson Orlav just stole $42.00 from you!
Oliver Price 08/13/17
Noura Orlav 08/13/17
Ella Donovan 08/13/17 James
I'll catch a cheap red eye. Where do you want to meet?
Elouise Orlav 08/13/17
Always gonna love you.
Ella Donovan 08/13/17 ~*~video attachment~*~
''Looking for you, handsome. Where are you?''

Mackenzie 07/21/17 Mackenzie sat upon the roof of the building opposite Jameson's chosen hiding place. The girl had kept her watch on him, curious to see what he would do. He did not disappoint. First, his sister showed up. Then, another man. And there he was, her little creation, struggling. She loves it. Catching sight of him through the undressed window, the girl smirks.
Remi Rose 07/21/17 Left the blurred images with Elouise to distinguish whether they were who they seemed to be. Otherwise, she was out of the 'picture'.

Literally.

Remi Rose 07/21/17 Snaps photos as evidence.

click, click, click.

Elouise Orlav 07/20/17 [Incoming Text
Noura and Jason get to know before me?
I killed everyone on my way to find you.
I burned down my world for you, Jameson Orlav.
Tell me where you are.
Noura Orlav 07/20/17 Noura flinched when she felt his body recoil, her body tense as she prepares for the worst. Even as he reciprocates, she cannot relax. Jason is coming, she reminds herself. And he will know what to do. Or at least, have a better idea than she has. For now, she waits. I'm sorry, he says. But for what?

Her arms fall as he pulls away, hands finding their way to his elbows as he holds her face. Her darker eyes stare up, meeting his, and she wills herself to remain calm and strong. It's the grin that worries her.

She remembers this stage. It was like being a teenager, indestructible and immortal. It was the stage she'd been in when Cole came to her, and it was this very youth that took his life. "Maybe we should talk about Moscow before that, Jameson..."

She trails off, hands moving upward to the middle of his forearms. He is so cold. Looking him over, she lets out an almost silent groan. Going home would be bad. People would die. He must remember that. "Tell me everything."
Noura Orlav 07/20/17 She'd barely gotten inside before that familiar smell reached her. Without a second thought, she pulls out her phone, fingers quickly pressing into the screen before she lowers her hands.

Noura had found that those like herself smell like the predecessor. Cole smells slightly of her, she smells slightly of her maker, and so on. Jameson smells different. He smells dead, and she cannot quite pin the root. "What did you do."

This isn't a question. It is a demand. Noura cannot fathom what she is seeing and smelling. It's clear what has happened to him. It is the how that is the issue. Biting her lip, she strides forward to her big brother and throws her arms around him. She realizes now this is the first time she has shown him affection since she walked back into his life months and months ago.

"It'll be okay," she whispers, arms locked around him.
Noura Orlav 07/20/17 Noura reads the text once, then twice. She knows this trick. She knows the sender, even without a name. Nou. That means Jameson. New York City. That means trouble. Then again, that isn't so much of a stretch. But she doesn't want to leave Moscow. Not even a little bit. She wants to stay near her rock.

She has no choice.

Several flights, a taxi ride, and a short, brisk walk later, Noura finds herself standing in the exact location she'd been sent.

"Jameson?"
Elouise Orlav 07/20/17 -sprays with Windex-
-wipes away-
Noura Orlav 07/07/17 Jameson
Where the f-ck are you? This isn't funny.
Elouise Orlav 07/06/17 *1 new voicemail*
'Your phone is dead. I know that. I don't know if you'll ever hear this......Come home, Jameson. I'm not strong enough to do this on my own. I'm not interested in raising this child without you......Please come home, babe. I did some things. Things I'm not proud of......I love you. I will always love you. Please don't blame me for what I have to do......Come home before it's too late. Please.
Elouise Orlav 07/03/17 Jameson
Come home to me.
Elouise Orlav 05/07/17 Prince Quinoa
Remember when you picked pulp out of my nose?
And spaghetti bombed my room?
And our matching onesie parties?
...you were such a little sh*t, ohemgee.
Autumn Dalca 05/02/17
Noura Orlav 04/26/17 -Sat at desk-
-May be studying dinos-
-Looks at-
-Narrows eyes-
Is Jason a T-Rex?
Ella Donovan 04/19/17 ~*You witnessed Jameson Orlav attack Ella Donovan!~*~
Elouise Orlav 04/17/17 -pads in-
Babe. You ate all of my cookies?!
Are you high?
-checks pupils-
...are you?
-plops down-
-has, 'you like krabby patties, don't you squidward' face-


I knew I loved you for a reason.
Elouise Orlav 04/13/17 Otto Octavius
Jason and (maybe?) Noura are coming over.
Oh! And this guy says hey.
[IMG]

Love you. :)
Noura Orlav 04/13/17 If he could see her, he'd be greeted with a look of disdain. Is he serious? She cannot understand his inability to open the goddamn door. She bites her tongue, glancing sideways as she gathers herself. Noura just wants in. There would be no way she would ever have this conversation like this.

"Yes. I'm fine. I'm alone. Jameson, open the door. Jesus. It's me."
Ella Donovan 04/13/17 That sounded nefarious.
Elouise Orlav 03/02/17
I'm European now. I bet you didn't even recognize me.
Elouise Orlav 02/19/17 Dr. Thirst Trap
STOP replacing my prenatal vitamins with strip steaks.
This baby is going to Hulk smash it's way out of my womb at this rate.
Elouise Orlav 02/14/17 Jameson
There's a 25 year old bottle of Macallan in your office.
Happy Valentine's Day, babe. I love you best.
Ella Donovan 02/02/17

~+Ella turned towards the voice and grinned widely to the kind man. Pearly whites exposed. Ella was a curious sport and she just had to know who the man was.+~

''Hello there handsome. Thank you for the welcome. What's your name?''

Elouise Orlav 01/30/17
Camille Hammond 01/30/17 Idiot
I just bought your unborn baby at a remarkable price. Cheers!
Noura Orlav 01/28/17 JameSI
PUT A F-CKING SMILE ON. YOUR LITTLE SISTER JUST MARRIED YOUR BESTIE, MF. BE HAPPY.
Elouise Orlav 01/19/17 ...because I love you, you assh*le. Don't you appreciate that I can occasionally be sentimental?!
Autumn Dalca 01/19/17 Jameson
You really like your video games, doncha?
[VID]
Elouise Orlav 01/17/17 Just checking.
-nuzzles-
Do you think I'm a selfish person?
Like mean selfish?
Like...horrible?!
Elouise Orlav 01/17/17 -tsk's-
No, Jameson, my favorite thing is being with you.
The other stuff is background noise.
Plus, clubbing is totally useless without cocaine.
Elouise Orlav 01/17/17 -wide eyes-
Ooooh. Wait. Gross.
Why do you sext me so much?!
Elouise Orlav 01/16/17 [New Snapchat]
Elouise Orlav 01/16/17 Jameson
Thanks for the pancakes this morning. 😍
...and for cleaning up my pancake puke. 😷
Elouise Orlav 01/12/17
Elouise Orlav 01/11/17 -furrows brow-
Listen, I think I know what a booty call is. I just got the definition fifteen minutes ago from the Internet. And the internet never lies.
-clears throat, looks around-
...groceries? Are you food-flirting with me?!
Elouise Orlav 01/11/17 Dr. Handsome
I didn't do anything.
I just need to borrow you for approximately 45 minutes.
Elouise Orlav 01/11/17 Lameson
Do you have your lab coat, and glasses? You're also gonna need a stethoscope.
Elouise Orlav 01/10/17 Husband AF
Never. You're the only one who gets to see any of this.

Husband AF
...and all those tacos are showing. So you're DEFINITELY the only person.

Husband AF
Aren't you the lucky one?
Elouise Orlav 01/09/17 Fitzhusband
You've been beside me the whole damn time.
Elouise Orlav 01/09/17 -pauses Netflix from the other room-
-reads text-
Husbo
Come back to me.
Noura Orlav 01/07/17 Best Brother Ever
Jamesy, Coral just broke into my room over spilt popcorn.
Elouise Orlav 01/07/17 Bearded Babe
Why did you always run around naked as a child?
And Noura says you were a puss.
...well, she didn't, but she kinda did. It makes sense.
Elouise Orlav 01/07/17
Elouise Orlav 01/06/17 [New Snapchat]

Currently wearing my favorite Christmas present.
Ice cream for dinner?
Noura Orlav 01/06/17 Jameson
Is she drinking? I will cut a b-tch.
[Fwd]
You're a good sister.
Don't screenshot this.
Elouise Orlav 01/06/17 Jameson
You are the most loving, selfless person I know. You are honest, and kind, and intelligent. And I love you.
And, your sister is a troll.
Elouise Orlav 01/05/17 Cutest Hub-o Ever
You’ve mistaken me for someone who is ashamed of any picture of myself.
Did you dress yourself for this picture day?
Is Borlav going to be this cute?
[img attached]
Elouise Orlav 01/05/17 Babe Sauce
If it's any consolation, I would have banged you with those glasses too. And the bad haircut.
OUR LOVE ISN'T SUPERFICIAL PLEASE DON'T DIVORCE ME.
Elouise Orlav 01/05/17 007
Wow, babe, you didn’t tell me you had such a great sense of style back then too!
Nice haircut. 😘
[img attached]
Elouise Orlav 01/05/17 Groupchat: The Order
I. HIT. THE. JACKPOT.
[img attached]
Elouise Orlav 01/04/17 Jameson
I'm keeping Jason safe from your sister's vagina magic.
This is an epidemic! You're a doctor, do something!
Autumn Dalca 01/04/17 Jameson
Do you fancy a ghoul? Or are vampires strictly your specialty? Inquiring minds want to know.
Elouise Orlav 01/03/17 [New Snapchat]

Pocket-sized Jameson’s! ...I have too much free time on my hands.
Elouise Orlav 01/01/17 😍👶Baby Daddy👶😍
If you're my brother, how messed up is this kid gonna be?
Noura Orlav 12/31/16 The Cult
[IMG]
Look who I saved from 2016! Say hello to Karen. She's bunking with Cheech and Chong.
Elouise Orlav 12/31/16 Jameson
(via Air-fi)
I'm more concerned about whether or not you bring tacos.
...and kissing your stupid, handsome face.
Noura Orlav 12/31/16 It took no time at all to recognize the flat tone of her brothers voice. She's not in trouble. At least, she doesn't think so. Otherwise he would have went right into it. There is something else going on, and it has Noura chomping at the bit.

She gets dressed. She'd been out all night, and had gotten ready for a lovely sleep. But when her big brother calls, she answers. Within minutes, booted feet carry her through the Order and small hands push open the doors to his office.

"Need me to punish someone?"
Elouise Orlav 12/29/16 Jameson
No one is here to braid my hair.
Or sing the toothbrush song.
And your sister is snapchatting me.
Are you having fun?
[img attached]
Autumn Dalca 12/25/16 (sent to Jameson and Elouise)

A late night knock on the door and one last package to accompany it. It's still Christmas so technically counts. The label indicates Jameson and Elouise's names.

Inside the plain 'shipping' box, there is a smaller, neatly wrapped gift. A hand written tag is attached to it, which reads:

To: Two Unlikely Friends
From: A Mutual Friend

Thank you both for your hospitality. I've enjoyed my time in Moscow and the opportunity to get to know you. You are welcome to come for a visit any time. Congratulations again. Here's a little something to get you started. Merry Christmas.

-Autumn


Upon opening they gift, they will find:

Elouise Orlav 12/25/16 Elouise loved Christmas. It was never about the exchanging of presents. In fact, she couldn’t remember a single Christmas worth remembering before today. But it was the holiday – the many things it meant, and it always held the promise of something she knew she would have one day.

A family.
And Jameson was more than she could have ever hoped for.

She had spent many years waiting for the Christmas morning she could wake up and shower someone in presents. Thoughtful gifts. Lavish packaging. Ribbons and bows and wrapping paper. She may have gone a little overboard as well. Instead of answering, the sound of wrapping paper scraping the floor sounds. A few stacks of boxes collapse through the doorway, followed by his wife, clad in her Santa-themed PJs. “Merry Christmas, handsome.” Her mouth splits in a toothy grin, childish amusement alight in her blue eyes.

Using slippered feet, she kicks a few smaller boxes closer to him, several more in her arms. Beautiful ties, scarves, hats and gloves, even a new pair of shoes. However, Elouise put the most thought into the final gift he would open. A scrapbook, filled with pictures of the two of them, no detail spared in the decorations. He might even begin to wonder how she ever got her hands on some of the pictures she’d included, but, she would never admit to a source.

Maybe she had entirely too much time on her hands, but it really boiled down to the one simple fact. She loved this man, and she wanted to give him a gift full of sentiments.

Once all of his boxes were in order, she promptly pauses, turns towards him, and leaps at him. Arms wrung around his neck, she presses a kiss to his neck. “I love you.” A quiet whisper, spoken with evident meaning. The holidays were never about presents, but about company. And she knew how lucky she was to have him.
Elouise Orlav 12/19/16 As he sits down beside her, she sucks in a deep breath. She isn’t ready for doubt. In fact, if it came from him, Elouise wouldn’t know how to handle it. She was already panicking in her own way, second guessing her capabilities.

Is this real? You really are?

The blonde begins to voice a response, but she’s pinned back to the floor, one heavy, ecstatic husband weighing her down. At his reaction, her uncertainty washes away. With Jameson, she knew she could handle anything. Even a tiny Satan inhabiting her uterus for nine months.

Jameson. Can’t. Breathe.” She huffs, hands prodding his sides for emphasis. After so much languishing, she finally sighs, offering her husband a small, yet nevertheless genuine smile. “A baby.” She whispers the last word as if they’ve just discovered a long-lost, hidden treasure.

“...can we name it Flamethrower?”
Elouise Orlav 12/16/16 Strewn out on the carpet, the Doctor’s wife waits patiently for him to return. Normally, she would continue to bombard him with messages until he gained a sense of urgency, but she wasn’t in a rush at the current moment. Instead, dull blue eyes focus on the ceiling fan, phone in one hand, an obscured object in the other.

As he enters, she gives him a gentle kick with her sock. “Down here.” She props herself up on her elbows, an unreadable expression worn. “You might want to sit down.” As Elouise speaks, she is pulling her knees to her chest, arms wrapped around them. “…because I have to tell you something.”

Her hand shoots out, revealing the pregnancy test that rested in her hand. The word, printed clearly on the screen was then uncovered. Pregnant.
Elouise Orlav 12/16/16 A blue eye cracks open, finding the alarm clock with blurred ambition. She lets out a groan, knowing it was too damn early to be functioning. Why had she woken up?

This. This was why. Bare feet scramble for the bathroom, soon level with her knees as she heaves the contents of last night’s dinner into the porcelain throne. Cheerios and Cheez-Its. Why had she drank so much the night prior? It was rare she was ever so sick when hungover.

And that would all make sense, if she had had even a drop of alcohol. Realization hits Elouise like a bus. No, it had to be food poisoning. It was absolutely too soon for this to be happening. Or, was it? That one time, a few weeks ago, the scotch…

Sh*t. This wasn’t anything definitive. The blonde wasn’t the brightest bulb on the tree, but she was smart enough to know there were any number of reasonable explanations for nausea.

Until, of course, those reasonable explanations got shot out of a f*cking cannon into space. Staring at the blank screen of her phone, she opens her husband’s contact, typing and retyping the eventual message:


Jameson
I know you’re at the lab already, but I need you to come back. Please.
No pranks, I promise.
Elouise Orlav 12/15/16 Jameson
OH. SHE’S FUNNY, TOO.
Elouise Orlav 12/15/16 Jameson
Who is she?!
Elouise Orlav 12/15/16 Jameson
Who are you looking at?
Elouise Orlav 12/15/16 Jameson
What are you doing?
Elouise Orlav 12/15/16 Groupchat: The Order
Here is a beautiful mosaic of one big Jameson, made up of a bunch of smaller Jamesons.
All Hail.
Elouise Orlav 12/15/16 Placing the final sticky lace against the canvas, Elouise steps back to admire her handy work. Every solitary shoelace in their room belonging to him was now pasted to the easel in front of her, covered in glue and glitter. His shoes were lined in neatly in front of their bed, each filled to the brim with shaving cream.

His ties were stapled to the ceiling, hanging down in glorious, colorful banners. His pillowcase was stuffed with potato chips, and his socks were filled with baby powder. And the pièce de résistance? Tomato sauce in all of the cleaning supply bottles. Finished with her work, she digs out her phone.

Dr. Babe
Emergency. Come to suite ASAP.
Elouise Orlav 12/12/16 To: babe o’clock
From: loyal servant
Message:
Coming right up just as soon as I’m done putting these everywhere!
[img recieved]
Elouise Orlav 12/10/16 [text message]:
I've thought a lot about it, and I've decided we have to procreate.
Any questions?
Noura Orlav 12/09/16 Get your wifey's hands off my ass, Jameson, before I bit her goddamn fingers off.

...Also, can I crash at your place?
Elouise Orlav 12/09/16 If you weren't good looking I would divorce you.
Camille Hammond 12/08/16 Your wife said that you can have a hooker for Christmas. Happy holidays!
Noura Orlav 12/07/16 -Mails Jameson a box of human teeth-
-With a note- Remember that one time, at the church?
Miss you, Jamesy.
Call me.
Elouise Orlav 12/06/16 “You're my whole life.” She inhales a shaky breath, fingers fidgeting with her wedding band once more. She was fearful, threatened. He was her home, and Noura could rock the foundation very easily. “Little faith? Don't you get it, by now?” The blonde runs a hand through her hair, brushing back the wild curls.

“I'm always going to be the more loving one, Jameson. And that is going to make me fanatical. I'm not like you. I'm not slow to anger. I don't know how to handle…” Life. That's why she did what she did. The more dulled her senses, the easier it seemed to handle things. But seeing as how the night prior had gone, she needed new coping methods.

She clears her throat, a petite, manicured hand reaching out for him, resting against the fabric of his shirt if he allowed. “I'm here for you. I always will be. Noura isn't going to change that.”
Noura Orlav 12/05/16 [Text]
So... I'm at the Kremlin and you're married. Also, these b*tches smell rancid.
Noura Orlav 12/05/16 SURPRISE! I'll let you take a minute to soak this in. It's okay. I've got allllll of time.
Noura Orlav 12/05/16 Man... time has not been kind.
Elouise Orlav 12/04/16 [Snapchat Sent]

Being sober sucks. So do you.
Elouise Orlav 12/03/16 [text reply]:
I swear to God, if you bring home anything with floral print I'm divorcing you.
Elouise Orlav 12/01/16 [Snapchat Sent]


Screw kale! I've got bevvies and ciggies and I'm waiting for you.
Elouise Orlav 11/24/16
Miryam 11/24/16 Jameson Orlav just stole $0.00 from you!

There she was minding her own business when she felt unwelcomed hands upon her person. With a hiss she turned just in time to see the culprit before he could make his getaway but this wasn’t a stranger and she knew that face. It didn’t take long for her to seek him out, chasing after him until she finally caught up to him. However instead of touching him she merely let her look of disdain do a majority of the talking though she did speak.

”If you needed booze money all you had to do was ask. Then again in my current state I’m not so sure that wouldn’t come without a risk of infection. Better think twice before you try such a daring feat again.”
Elouise Orlav 11/22/16 -falls off-
-wounded-
GOOD. I HOPE HE DOUBLES AS A DIVORCE ATTORNEY.
Elouise Orlav 11/16/16 ...babe.
Are you drunk?!
-gasp-
Without me?!
Sarah Remington 11/15/16
Jesus. They're letting anyone get gold membership these days. I hope your market crashes. Maybe I'll see you in the dungeons.
Caitlyn Darrow 11/15/16 .. Can I change my middle name? It's too normal compared to the both of you.
Caitlyn Darrow 11/15/16 *laughs nervously*
Of course it wasn't Elly!.. *chokes on saliva*
Elouise..Prudence?
*coughs*
Caitlyn Darrow 11/15/16 Jameson Kingston Orlav!
Amethyst Boru 11/14/16 Congrats on the gold
Ronan Boru 11/14/16 Congrats on your golden robes.
Elouise Orlav 11/13/16 To: bbygurl
From: wife
Message:
I got bored waiting last night so I did laughing gas instead.
[video message received]
Elouise Orlav 11/12/16 To: The Husband
From: The Wife
Message:
Babe. BABE. May have just sold your soul. So sorry.
I can put on the nurse costume tonight to make up for it?
Nyx Photine 11/11/16 “Hey! Illusion-boy!” She scowled and pointed her finger accusingly before marching up to him.

“YOU told me I was an illusion! Well, I went to the fire station. Guess what?” Nyx’s lips pursed tightly, eyes narrowed to slits. “I’m not an illusion! And now I have a record for ‘trespassing’ and ‘invasion of privacy’.” She huffed in irritation, although her lips did quirk up betraying her amusement. Standing up as tall as she could (which wasn’t very tall at all), she balled her hand into a fist and shook it. “I oughta….”

Elouise Orlav 11/11/16
Elouise Orlav 11/11/16 -pokes-
If Caitlyn has a baby, does that mean we have to too?
Caitlyn Darrow 11/11/16 *big eyes*
Ok. I just have to remind myself there's no crying in Baseball, I mean birthing.
Caitlyn Darrow 11/10/16 *ugly sobs*
He wants out.
Caitlyn Darrow 11/10/16 @!££€&^#?!!££¥€£!£*@!!!!! Translation~ Now b1tch, Now.
Elouise Orlav 11/09/16 Elouise slips into his room, drunk, disappointed, maybe even distraught. Quietly, she slips into his arms, pressing her face against his neck.

It didn't need to be said. In a world with so much vitriol and hate, love was that much more important.
Elouise Orlav 11/07/16
I'm going to kick your lily white ass.
Mackenzie 11/07/16
Mackenzie 11/07/16 One must compliment good behavior, don't you agree?
Keep it up. There's more where that came from.
[wink wink]
Mackenzie 11/07/16 You're a useless tw-t of a man.
Consider that.
Elouise Orlav 11/07/16
I love you, you stupid geek.
Elouise Orlav 11/07/16
You're a pretty good husband.
..just in case you didn't know.
Elouise Orlav 11/07/16
...is there an extra controller?
Elouise Orlav 11/07/16 To: ex-hubby
From: ex-wifey
Message:
I hope you and Solomon are very happy together.
As happy as one can be with a corpse. :-)
Elouise Orlav 11/06/16
Solomon King 11/04/16 Oh, so you're married? I ain't nobody's side b*tch.

..but I won't tell. ;D
Solomon King 11/04/16 ...are you flirting with me?
mist 11/04/16 *Perhaps trying it when this witch isn't on line...*Gives a witcher look* And besides this witch don't carry candy however i do carry pumpkin seeds they make one invisible laughs*
Elouise Orlav 10/28/16 -stumbles into his room-
-wielding a knife-
You flushed my weed!
Elouise Orlav 10/28/16 Fine.
-squints at-
Jameson. When did you get so handsome?!
-squishes cheeks-
Camille Hammond 10/28/16 -scoffs-
She drugged herself, Jameson. She's a grown woman.
Elouise Orlav 10/27/16 -reads text-
-turns on phone tracker-

...
-finds-
Elouise Orlav 10/27/16 To: Two Left Feet
From: Best Wife
Message:
Everyone at this bar is a great dancer!
[video received]
Caitlyn Darrow 10/27/16 *screams*
*throws remote at*
OHMYGAWD IM BEING ROBBED HELP HELP! 911! ....
...........
shifty eyes*
...ohai Jameson. It's in the fridge with Ellie's cake she made. Can you be a dear and bring her back that one too?
Elouise Orlav 10/26/16
Elouise Orlav 10/22/16 -finds-
-attaches self to leg-
-sits on foot-
Bet you can't walk with me on your leg!
Elouise Orlav 10/19/16 -big smile-
Ooookay, I finish the story.
-deep breath-
Elouise didn't trust anybody but Jameson kept saving her.
And then she finally noticed his cute butt and gave him a shot
She realized brown hair was okay and then he kissed her and even evil Emerson couldn't change her mind about him.
So she shared her movie time and pillows and blankets and snuggles. And she loved him forever and ever, and was really glad it only took him like five months to realize what a total catch she was.
-big kiss-
Okay, ice cream! I want lotsa whipped cream.
... and I'll pay.
Mackenzie 10/19/16 Try it one more time!
Elouise Orlav 10/19/16 -sneaks up behind-
-smacks cheek-
Camille Hammond 10/19/16 I don't pay you to take orders from that terrorist wife of yours.
I pay you to take orders from me!
Mackenzie 10/18/16
Jaysus f-cking Christ. Can a girl have a goddamn vacation without some stinking bag of flesh groping her arse and tugging at her bag?
Elouise Orlav 10/18/16 To: lovey hubby
From: mambo no. 5
Message:
You’re about to get me, and alla dis.
We’re dancing until someone dies!
And Emerson says I have a dry... a... I don't remember.
You'll have to ask her!
[video received]
Elouise Orlav 10/18/16 -gasp-
I was only doing it to drive Emerson crazy!
-nuzzles-
You're my favorite husband and my only husband I'll ever have from now until fooooooorever!
Elouise Orlav 10/18/16 To: snuggly hubs
From: best wife
Message:
For the record, I would love you even if you didn’t have tacos or tequila.
… I would probably just love you less.
[img received]

Elouise Orlav 10/16/16 {text reply]:
I wasn't sure if I loved you before, but I definitely do now.
We have to get extra napkins, though. I don't you getting any ice cream on the sexy fireman costume you'll have to wear!
Elouise Orlav 10/16/16 [text reply]:
I can't have you ruining my date tonight!
If he's a bad kisser, I'll totally give you the address.
But from what I remember... he isn't. :)
Elouise Orlav 10/13/16 A grin tugs at her lips as she leans over, resting her chin on his shoulder as she gazes up at him. "Does this mean we get to go shopping?" Her mouth forms an 'o' of wonderment. "More blankets, and pillows and beanbags." She flashes her teeth in an even wider smile.

"Details? Tellmetellmetellmetellme!" The blonde shifts closer, arms snaking around his midsection. "...can we get a lava lamp?!"
Elouise Orlav 10/13/16 Elouise doesn’t seem to be too disgruntled by being thrown onto the bed. Mostly because he was ordering her food, but also because of those four words that meant so much. After he hangs the phone up, she scoots to the edge of the bed.



“Maybe we should move into a bigger room, and just have some of your stuff, and some of mine. Except it would be ours. No more your room or my room.” Compromise, she was trying.
Elouise Orlav 10/13/16 "Yeah... they pity me for putting up with you." She replies plainly, without a hint of sarcasm. She then presses a kiss against his neck. "It's okay, though. I love you enough to ignore them."
Elouise Orlav 10/13/16 Elouise takes on an expression of mock offense. “What if I just want to be sweet?” She huffs, now seemingly actually offended. But then she lowers her head, resting it in the crook of his neck, and she appears to calm back down.

“That works out in my favor though, because I tell people you beat me so they’ll pity me and give me what I want.” She looks around with shifty eyes. “Please don’t hit me again, Jameson, I’ll make sure dinner is ready at five-thirty sharp from now on!” She states, projecting her voice with exaggeration. Afterwards, she lets out a devious little snicker.
Elouise Orlav 10/13/16 She taps her chin. "...Chinese?" A big smile prevails, before she leans in. A hand reached up, squishing his cheeks together before she plants a brief kiss on his lips. "Or tacos again. I went for a run today, I earned it."

Elouise meets his gaze, brow furrowed. "And yes, I did actually run." Falling silent again, she rubs her nose against his, an Eskimo kiss. "I sorta, kinda, maybe love you... now, food. Yes, you have to carry me, and yes you have to feed me. Don't act like you make the rules."
Caitlyn Darrow 10/13/16 Text to: Doctor strange
From: Redder Red
I'm alright now. This nice hobo man closed an icky wound of mine with dental floss and gum. Should it still be bleeding? Should I go ask for my $500 back?
Elouise Orlav 10/11/16 That seems like more of a you problem. I'm gonna go streaking!
Elouise Orlav 10/11/16 To: Sux2BU
From: Keeping the Dog
Message:
His name is Princess Buttercup, and he doesn't mind hazy eyes and sneezing. You'll get used to it!
Elouise Orlav 10/10/16 The blonde presses a grin against his chest, nodding shortly thereafter. "Shepard's Pie sounds good... just not made of me." With a quiet laugh, she presses her chin against him and tilts her head back to look up at him.

"How about you go and find your glasses, and I'll show you how sorry I am?" She pauses, sniffs him, and realizes he may be just too intoxicated. "Or we'll save that for tomorrow." She gives him a consoling pat. "Wouldn't want you to forget, because I'm a one night only show."
Elouise Orlav 10/08/16 Elouise stands in the room long after he had left, blank blue eyes focused upon his loving creation. The teasing had started out in absolute innocence. And she had assumed he knew her tactics. Never had she considered he may have been hurt, especially until this very day, parenthood had been a joke. Flat children, zombie children, all a game.

Padding over to the hand-carved bassinet, she ran her hands over the frame, before sinking down beside it, head pressed against it as she eased herself into the thought that he might not come back.

And if he did come back, would he still want her? Procuring her phone, she went to check his location, but discovered for whatever reason, his signal did not come through. Crossing her legs, she lets out a sigh.

And now, she waits.
Elouise Orlav 10/07/16 To: Naked and Afraid
From: Apex Predator
Message:
When I find you, I will kill you.
Spring Taylor 10/07/16 Spring regarded the tube infested man with a blank stare. Silently decided to have a hit off a cig before she even commented on the f-ckery scene in front of her. She plucked out the pack from her pocket and clashed it eagerly into her open flat palm. Once it produced the cancer stick she balanced it between her lips. After one drag she exhaled the smoke in the direction she saw the insane man flail off towards. "Poor sod, the only crazy f-cker is him. Beware the f-cking ree-fer... Stupid c-ck." Obviously he had gotten his hands on some contaminated Mary Jane.
Elouise Orlav 10/05/16

“You’re pretty too.” She snickers, looking at his pathetic expression, eyes rolling. She ignores him long enough to fill the pot with water and turn the burner back on, before she glides into him, hitting him with minimal force. Her arms wrap around his midsection, and soon enough she’s granting him a brief kiss.

“Now, I’m going to let you in on a little secret, darling, don’t be alarmed.” Hazy, reddened eyes met his. “You’re high. I didn’t poison you, neither did Camille. Those brownies were never meant for general consumption.”

She nuzzles her face against his chest, finding the texture of his shirt undeniably comfortable. Shewashighokay. “I’m glad I married you toooo,” she coos, squeezing him a big tighter then. “Food. Now I need food.” And she’s detached from him, flying towards the cabinets with intent. And the woman knows exactly what she’s looking for. Tucked behind a box of cornflakes…

Voilà! Double chocolate chip cookies, soft baked. She carries the packaged tray over, setting it on the counter before him. It was the Holy Grail of munchie foods. And the good wife she was, she offered them to him.
Elouise Orlav 10/05/16 The app carried her from her room through the maze of hallways. He was on the move, then the signal ended in…

The kitchen.

Perfect, since she was starving herself. Her tongue jutted out to wet her lips, suddenly aware of how dry her mouth was then. Her cheeks sucked in and puffed out as she shuffled along, dressed in… his Superman onesie. No wonder the legs and sleeves were much too long.

She entered the kitchen to find Jameson attempting to cook. “Babe,” she scoffed, lurching over to the stove to shut it off.

It appeared to her that he was trying to boil pasta for mac ‘n cheese, but there was no water in the pot. “Go sit down before you hurt yourself… I’ll make the munchies.” A smirk was plastered to her face, one that failed to go away in his presence. It was beyond her to see him in such a state.

She had a classic level one lituation on her hands.
Elouise Orlav 10/05/16 Closed into her room for some much needed respite, Elouise sat on her floor, stereo blaring… Coldplay? Oh, Elouise. So many better choices to be made.

She had left Jameson in his bed, or so she had thought. The poor, poor lightweight. Of course the blonde was up to her usual afternoon antics. Mimosa, marijuana, mood music. In the silence between songs, a melodic tone carries through the silence – and the smoke.

Her voicemail.

Scrambling through the wafting clouds of gray, pungent smoke, she discovers her phone, discarded near her bed, and a half-eaten bag of Fritos. She crawls over to pause the music, the interlude having led into… Marvin Gaye? The woman needed better playlists.

After listening to the playback and having a side-aching laugh, she stumbles to her feet. Where was this man of hers?

Her brow furrows as she focuses intently on the screen, making sure her text was precise enough.

To: Bob Marley
From: Mary Jane
Message:
I’ll come find you. Just… stay put.

Little did he know, she had his phone low-jacked.
Camille Hammond 10/05/16 -stares at, clears throat-
I have no idea what you're talking about.
....How did you get those?
Elouise Orlav 10/04/16
No more shirts. Again. Ever.
-puts down liquor-
…what’s in the bag?
-waggles brows-
Candy?!
Elouise Orlav 10/04/16 ...if I'm not being punished, does this mean we're getting ice cream?
Caitlyn Darrow 09/30/16
Since it's FAJITAS FRIDAY.
Elouise Orlav 09/29/16 -rolls eyes-
But, this husband had a very cute butt and was hard to resist, and so she dealt with his childish tendencies and they lived happily ever after, 80 percent of the time.
Elouise Orlav 09/29/16 -scowls-
-starts to object-
-smothered instead-
-big sigh-
-wraps arms around-
Once upon a time, there was a man with a very big ego, who far overestimated his wife's patience and affections...
Elouise Orlav 09/29/16 -still laughing-
I'm not bullying you! Just...
-snickers-
Okay, yes, I'm bullying you.
Do you want to know my middle name?
-squeezes midsection-
Caitlyn Darrow 09/29/16
Elouise Orlav 09/28/16 -blink-
-eye twitch-
I'm gonna go kick her a-s. That booty is mine.
-shifty eyes-
-fondles behind-
Caitlyn Darrow 09/27/16
Elouise Orlav 09/26/16 To: Smoky Bear
From: ilikefire
Message:
I would never set you on fire. And if you see Emerson with a lighter, run.
Caitlyn Darrow 09/24/16 Silence was magical. Caitlyn reclined back into the chair of her office, and cast a glance over to the Lego castle. Silence was terrible when her five-year-old was supposed to be in the room with her. "Noah? Noah darling?"

She called up and bounced forward from the chair. Her heels clashed against the ground as she stood upright and gave another frantic once over the room.

That's when it became evident of what had happened. A trail of Legos and hard taco shell crumbs towards the door that was open a slit. "Oh dear.." She murmured and heard a shrill cry from the hallway. A blur streaked past the door with the distinctive childish giggle.

Quickly she rushed to the door and blinked down at her feet. Was that a taco? "Son of a me.." Caitlyn glared as Noah apparently ran down the hallway of Solitude with a bag of stolen tacos.

Chanting victoriously, "Tachooo! Tachoooo! Here tachooo!" Whilst he hurled a paper wrapped taco at every single door giggling maniacally.

Great. Noah the five-year-old had turned into Oprah the-taco-giver. She sprinted after him, unable to keep up with his small satanic speed legs.



Camille Hammond 09/23/16 Stop making people cry. That is not what I employ you for.
Elouise Orlav 09/23/16 To: No Bueno
From: Tequila Death
Message:
I want divorce and some coffee. Also, I found the booby trap in the bathroom, but not until it was too late. I hate you.
Elouise Orlav 09/22/16 Text:
To: Beautiful Princess Jamie
From: Potato Face
Message:
One of the strippers looked a lot like Jason... but the lap dance was really cheap!
Elouise Orlav 09/22/16 Text:
To: Lameson Morlov
From: Princess Quinoa
Message:



You can’t just kiss a girl and run off. Some might call that rude. Also, I take it this means you have no interest in being a bridesmaid in Emerson and I’s wedding. And I’m not a cheater, so, it appears that may have been our last kiss. Have a fun night!
Elouise Orlav 09/22/16 As he brandished his glasses, a grin budded. Adorable. Like a geriatric hidden in the body of a moody, rugged young man.

"Yes, of course I do! It's always worked before." She leaned over, viewing the screen. "That should be your new background." More of a command than a suggestion. "I also want a tiara."
Elouise Orlav 09/21/16 Her eyes begged an unanswerable question. The idea of trust, so foreign, had stayed deep within her. Yet, here she was. Elouise’s subconscious was screaming, but her voice was drowned away as he offered a rather appropriate response. For once, her world was quiet. And she folded into the silence, pliant to his touch, too beholden of him at that very moment to offer a witty rebuttal.

Her hands fall slowly from his shoulders, instead slipping into his jacket, lacing around his figure. He was a comfort she had been far too remiss in admitting to herself. It was odd to her then, that hands that were so familiarly rough carried such gentle capacity, drawing her near and holding her without force. Of course, she could have objected. He had left plenty of time for that. She was akin to a frightened doe, and he seemed to sense that. It was unfamiliar terrain, but he traversed it well. Simply put, she was unafraid.

Elouise returns in equal measure, a brief, responsive kiss, though it held no surprise in it. She was not bewildered any longer. He felt as familiar to her as ever. Trust no longer felt so foreign, even if it was not quite seeping through her visage, it was budding. She, of course, drew her head back first, a glimmer in her eyes as she met his gaze.

Absolute silence. In her stubbornness, she refused to speak first.
Elouise Orlav 09/21/16 Proximity. She freezes as his face meets hers, unsure of how she should react. For once, she knew crassness was not a proper, nor positive response. And then he called her a potato.

Shut up…” She closes her eyes, head dipping so that her brow leaned against his cheek. A sigh left her lips, for the first time, she realized she was still breathing. And she still had her jugular. “Patata…” She murmured against his neck, a quiet laugh following.

Elouise would pull her head back then, meeting his gaze, though it appeared as if she had stopped breathing again. She’d need to work on that.
Elouise Orlav 09/21/16 “… so maybe I am a sour patch kid. If you’re a chocolate bar, it’s Chunky.” She snorts, rolling her eyes. “You are incredibly… resistable.” She drops her hand, eyes narrowing at him.

Elouise leans in closely, her fingers trailing up his chest as she met his gaze. “Actually, I take that back. There are certainly parts of you that I cannot resist…” She whispered, before her eyes lit up and she drew back, chocolate bar successfully thefted.
Elouise Orlav 09/21/16

The offer sort of shocked her. But, then again, she was a serious chocolate fiend. She held her hand out palm up, directing a ‘gimme’ movement at Jameson. Then, a grin grows on her lips.

“Sour and sweet nerds? It’s like you and me! I’m sweet, obviously. Because I’m the princess.”
Elouise Orlav 09/21/16 -comforts-
That's right, you're rugged. Like a dull chainsaw.
Elouise Orlav 09/20/16 She gasps, before a big grin grows. “Aw, you’re almost on one knee, too!” She nods and nods and nods, before offering her left hand, waving it in his face.

“You don’t need to ask, the answer is yes, I will sue you for more alimony.” She rolled her eyes after the statement. “Green apple is beautiful, tasteful, elegant, and underrated. Who wants blue raspberry when that’s what everyone else has?”
Elouise Orlav 09/20/16 And just as soon as she had control, it was lost. Flipped back to her previous position on her back, she looks up at him with big, innocent eyes. Her, doing something wrong? Impossible. With a nervous laugh, she squirms a bit before she realizes there is no escape.

She sucks in a deep breath, compromising her better judgement. “I’m sorry…” She lowers her voice. “… do I still get the ring pop?”
Elouise Orlav 09/20/16 The blonde plants her hands on her hips, staring up at him with squinted eyes, regardless of proximity.

"I'm a tester, Jamie. I test people."
Sofia Johanneson 09/19/16 She lets out a soft laugh, her bright blue eyes darting side to side, mimicking his sudden look of... unease? Trying to keep things light, and unable to *NOT* tease...she takes a long exaggerated inhale, her nose twitching as she whispers in a low tone.

"Sorry, the taco was a dead give-away, might I suggest a different cologne?"

Elouise Orlav 09/19/16 ... I despise you, Ninja Princess Jameson.
Elouise Orlav 09/19/16 -comforts-
You can still try my shoes on when I'm not in my room and think I won't notice, if it makes you feel better. Just stop stretching out my dresses.
Elouise Orlav 09/19/16
I can be just like you one day?
Elouise Orlav 09/19/16 -fumes-
You're the worst person I know. Truly.
Camille Hammond 09/19/16 Will you stop pouting so much. Yoire such a bummer. Or I'll tell Elouise the thing that you said about the thing.... That you said....
-laughs maniacally-
Elouise Orlav 09/18/16 -feels bad-
... I'm sure you look beautiful in a tiara, Princess Jameson. I didn't mean to lash out.
-patpatpats-
You're near the top of the list, I promise. Right after everyone else.
Elouise Orlav 09/18/16 -scowl-
Only one child got shredded, thank you.
-tries to shove-
And Gunner is my favorite anyway.
Elouise Orlav 09/17/16
Elouise Orlav 09/17/16
Elouise Orlav 09/17/16 This plaque symbolizes that one:

Jameson Orlov

Is the bomb
Jameson Orlav 09/17/16 Congrats Jameson. You da bomb.
Elouise Orlav 09/17/16 I mean, I could always reprint him, but does that mean he's still Trigger? Or is he Trigger's twin brother, Gunner?
-gasp-
Did we have morph-twins?!
Elouise Orlav 09/17/16 Ugh. That's soooo much effort. I'm sure he's just playing hide-and-seek. Or, I accidentally put him in the shredder pile.
-taps chin-
-eyes widen-
Oh, no. I think I did.
Elouise Orlav 09/17/16 Speaking of explanations, have you seen Trigger? I can't find his print-out anywhere! Am I a bad mother?
Elouise Orlav 09/16/16 That's fine! But you'll also be cleaning it up.
-pats cheek-
I guess you're the one with the nose-related fetish.
Elouise Orlav 09/16/16
-big grin-
Whaaat was that? I’m a pretty princess?
-pats-
You’re a pretty princess too, Lameson.
Elouise Orlav 09/15/16
Elouise Orlav 09/15/16 “Two bunny ears…” Her tongue jutted out from the side of her mouth in concentration until the bush rustled.

Her head shot up, locking onto Jameson’s camouflaged figure as it appeared before her. Her eyes widened, and she began to back pedal. Or, she thought she did. Still crouched down, the movement only landed her flat on her behind.

“So we do, Mister Orlav.” Defeat dampened her eyes as she looked his water pistol straight on. Whatever was in there, it probably wasn’t good. She only prayed it wasn’t urine.

As the orange-water mixture rained down upon her, she opened her mouth to gasp – sputtering as the juice obviously infiltrated. “You used Caitlyn’s orange juice for this?! You’re despicable!”

Sufficiently soaked, she stood up, wiping the sticky juice from her face. “You have won the battle, Jameson. But not the war.” It was a heavy-laden threat. After all, the limits to her tom-foolery and pranking had not yet been seen.
Elouise Orlav 09/15/16 The Troublemaker walked merrily along, without a care in the world. Or, at least that was the impression she gave to the unassuming eye. Instead, her eyes scanned the area carefully, as they always did. But, today seemed void of shenanigans. She had made promises, after all.
Tomorrow would be the day he felt doom. But today was Zumba day, and she was exhausted. Camille really knew how to kick @ss.
With a glance down, she noticed her shoe was untied. With a long sigh, she leaned over to tie it back up.
“One bunny ear…”
Elouise Orlav 09/14/16 *crouches behind bush*
*slingshots water balloon at*
SHENANIGANS!
Elouise Orlav 09/14/16 I smell like rosewater and cardamom! If anyone smells, it's you. I just didn't want to say anything, because I have manners.
-huffs indignantly-
Caitlyn Darrow 09/13/16 *Runs away shrieking* (http://youtu.be/SIaFtAKnqBU)
Caitlyn Darrow 09/13/16 JAMESON. JAMESON. WHERE ARE YOU. I need to know howtogrtridofdemonsandboogiemenNdimscared.Start crying and I think you'll scarethemaway!
Elouise Orlav 09/13/16 ... Well, you've got me there. But who's going to mess with a kid named Trigger?
Caitlyn Darrow 09/12/16
Except Trigger. He kind of grows on you, or maybe he's using mind power. He must have gotten that from Elouise.
Elouise Orlav 09/12/16 My tiny female mind is telling me your teasing, but I can't think of a better, or more lethal combination that those three things.
-cants head to the side-
You're like a... jellyfish, wrapped in a soft taco, wrapped in a leather jacket.
Elouise Orlav 09/12/16
What?! Is the Internet not proof enough?!
Elouise Orlav 09/12/16 Ew.
-shakes head-
You can call me Mrs. Dr. Professor Elouise, if you want a pet name.
Elouise Orlav 09/12/16 Our ugly morph baby is named Trigger. I now require child support.
-holds our hand, palm up-
Elouise Orlav 09/11/16
Caitlyn Darrow 09/10/16 I miss your friend Lameson. At least he didn't take my oranges.
Camille Hammond 09/07/16 You'd be wise not to forget.. I have full access to alla the sanctuary. Maybe your tacos aren't the only thing Cait gets her hands on!!
Caitlyn Darrow 09/06/16 *Only knows pirate noises from SpongeBob Squarepants*


Arggg are we ready tacos?
Who lives in a room of no tacos?
Jameson Squirtpants!
Who's the worst doctor who ever lived?
Jameson Squirtpants!
Absentminded and tan and pompous is he!
Jameson Squirtpants!
If utter nonsense is what you wish!
Jameson Squirtpants!
He flops on the deck and smells like a fish!
Jameson Squirtpants! Jameson Squirtpants! Jameson Squirtpants!

*Stuffs taco into her mouth. Has all day*
Elouise Orlav 09/02/16 I like Lameson. We'll call you that from now on.
Caitlyn Darrow 09/01/16 After the word got out about her stolen beloved oranges. She checked anxiously every nook and cranny for them. Currently, hunched over a couch and shifted the couch cushions on the ground. A defeated sigh passed her lips and then she heard the voice behind her.

'Well,well,well.'

She stood up to her full height and whirled around to witness the camouflaged plebeian. Her eyes blinked rapidly at Jameson unsure what had transpired. Did she miss a costume invite? Was she in the middle of a game?

'Finally we meet.'

Caitlyn cleared her throat as her eyes gave him a quick once over. "Umm but we know each other, silly goose." A nervous chuckle parted her lips. Did Jameson have a twin?! Oh this could be exciting! Oh...maybe he got pummeled in the head by a pigeon?

'T'was I who took your precious oranges, and it is I who shall reign supreme over the citric kingdom!!'

The spark of electricity jolted against her spine, and she grabbed the nearest couch cushion for a makeshift shield."Come again from taco man?"The small bit of humanity giving him a chance to take back what he said. Silently she vowed never to miss a taco Tuesday. Apparently this is the result of a taco Doctor missing too many taco Tuesdays . A crazed lunatic with cringeworthy fashion taste. Her right eye twitched involuntarily as she witnessed the waste of juice from his guns. She hated guns.

Then suddenly....

She heard a shrieking crazy lady. What the hell was going on?! Oh, wait that shrieking lady was her. The high pitched shrill battle cry of the orange keeper.

When she finally noticed the cry was from her, she had already bounded toward him intent on tackling him to the ground.

She got hit with orange drizzle from the water guns. Even while in a dramatic race towards him, she took the time to place the upper collar of her dress into her mouth to suck the drop of juice out of it. While the couch cushion took most of the citrus injuries for cinematic purposes.

"GIVE THEM BACK. GIVE. THEM. BACK. NOW!"
Camille Hammond 09/01/16 I think we might replace you with this guy. He's prettier, too.

You were successful in stealing $471.00 from Lameson Morlov.
Camille Hammond 08/26/16 you're a booger.
Elouise Orlav 08/10/16 I'm just debating what sort of marinade I'll rest your corpse in before I eat you.
-innocent smile-
Caitlyn Darrow 06/12/16 Congrats on your promotion and ranking up! I spent the day trying to become your twin, instead of my twin. How do I look?
Caitlyn Darrow 06/06/16
Did you go through the drive-thru window?
Caitlyn Darrow 06/05/16 You managed to break out Jameson Orlav
"You do realize they don't deliver tacos here, right?"
Elouise Orlav 05/29/16 -hurls water balloon at-
Caitlyn Darrow 05/08/16 Where can I get a complimentary taco around here?!
Elouise Orlav 05/07/16 Well, I firmly insist you go play in traffic.
Camille Hammond 05/05/16 To: Bourbon
Body: ME. And you're the biggest weirdo of them all.
Caitlyn Darrow 04/29/16 ...Did she just feel someone's hand in her pocket? Her brows met in a curious scrunch, as she pulled out a wad of notes from her pocket. Money on you:$11,423.00
After standing there for several minutes, her weight shifts to her left hip. Her brows return to normal, and her mouth drops open.
"I can't believe someone would take 10 cents! I mean.." Her eyes blink rapidly, as she starts to recount. Was she only off by 10 cents? Maybe they had stolen a whole fifty!
Caitlyn Darrow 04/28/16 Can you even walk after all that pizza?
Caitlyn Darrow 04/28/16 After a considerable amount of time, she resurfaced. Ten boxes of pizza hid her face entirely. She used some small little slit between box four and five to see which way she was going. She was fully prepared for ANYTHING, except if he wanted something weird like anchovies or a taco pizza. "I bring you pizza! I er.. left kind of suddenly so I got random toppings?" All the while she whispered spastic in her mind
-Please don't kill me. Please.don'tkill.me. Pleasedon'tkillme.-
Elouise Orlav 04/27/16 You're already rather funny looking, so I don't believe it will be quite the detriment. But of course, it's completely your choice. It just also happens that it is the wrong one.
*intimidating stare*
Caitlyn Darrow 04/27/16 The awkward laughter ended with a long drawn out heh. She shrank into an odd crab stance. Of all the times, why today did she carry an invisible pizza to the taco man? Sense seemed to be eluding her, like she would be eluding him soon. "I-I-I.Er.. I-I'm very sorry! Do over! Yes, do over!" With that she clicked her heel, and braced herself to flail run back to the pizza place.
Elouise Orlav 04/25/16 *stares at*
I guess they're just letting anyone in these days. You'll gave to choose blonde or redhead, though. Word of advice, blondes are obviously better. More... soulful.
Camille Hammond 04/23/16 Welcome to the club. Try not to make a mess, yeah?
Camille Hammond 04/21/16 *blinks*
Ahem. Princess?!
Camille Hammond 04/21/16 Welcome to the Realm.
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